So I have some girl__friends and they are often complaining about guys hitting on them.
Sometimes they say it's uncomfortable to reject them, sometimes they are insistent, whatever.
Thing is, this is making me insecure. I don't want to be annoying and make girls uncomfortable.
What do? It's not like waiting for the girl to make the first step is an option.
>I don't want to be annoying
oh yes, being so "nice" that you dont want to cause uncomfort to others
i used to be like that until i realized that in order to get what you want, you will sometimes have to upset others
guys that make some girls uncomfortable, make others girls moan in bed
just dont be a creep and understand when shes not interested
If you're so worried about making them uncomfortable you won't. Its cute at least.
got it just, just accept that no is no.
These girls are not talking about the guys, they are talking about themselves.
If she says that a lot of guys are hitting on her, she is simply saying "I am so desired and beautiful that I get hit on a lot".
Depending on HOW she says it, she might even imply that YOU should ask her out.
What's confusing is that they never actually say no, just excuses like being busy. That's why I think it's understandable when guys are insistent.
I asked a girl out and she refused without rescheduling saying she's busy. I left her alone and after a year I found out she really liked me.
So long as you don't make a public embarrassment of yourself or get charged for sexual assault, you have no reason to care about what a girl you tried hitting on and failed thinks.
I think as a woman it's difficult because we obviously want positive attention, but sometimes it seems as if dudes feel that anywhere in public is free space to hit on you.
For example, it's one thing if a bartender or waiter flirts at you because you know they want a tip. Depending on the restaurant it's annoying and sometimes not appropriate.
But I've felt hit on by bartender, banker, customers at my workplace in retail, customers in a professional office, classmates.
So on the weekends I have a second job at a retail place. There's a fast food restaurant in our strip mall so I go there. But a dude on there hits on me if I go inside. So I decided I would just take my car through the drive thru and then he's fucking working the drive thru.
Sometimes we just want to go about life without feeling sexualized/hit on/ accosted.
Like can I just order a sandwich in peace without you offering a side of dick?
>sometimes they are insistent, whatever.
Don't be.
Listen to bill burr and Patrice oneal. They give sound advice about making the first move.
You wanna hear something to feed your paranoia?
I've had girls ask me out as a joke.
This is only half bait but just remember this:
>it's creepy to be attracted to a girl that doesn't want you to be.
That sounds ridiculous right? Because that would mean every guy is creepy, and that's the secret. It doesn't matter at all how "creepy" you are as long as you don't do anything other men would call creepy. You could literally ask a girl "hey wanna go bowling on Saturday?" and if she wasn't silently hoping you'd ask she'll find a way to call that creepy. Just accept that girls are uncomfortable with men they don't want being attracted to them. It's a fact of life that you will make some girls uncomfortable some of the time.
>be me
>attempt ask girl out
>girl clearly obsesses over you
>she got her friends to take pics of you to flick the bean over
>try to talk to her at least
>pretty obvious she isnt herself when youre around
>"hey...can we talk?"
>she completely shuts down cant even speak properly
>give up.jpeg
>she brings her relative over for a stupid lecture
>he doesnt know she wants it
>clearly gets sweaty and blushes when Im around especially when I make it obvious I like her by winning the looking game
>catch her one time staring at me for like 30mins in a line.
>its so obvious at this point
>try again, this time im touching her
>loses it, isnt mad but is incredibly horny
>Realize the girl isnt ready for anything intimate including secks and just try to be a good friend or whatever
>let it be.png
At least I wasnt called creepy. If a girl calls you "creepy," at a bar and youre not a creepy person, she's just not in the mood for guys. Thats it.
Youre a creep if you hide in a tree in the front of her house like that movie with michael j fox.
Back to the future?
Yeah if youre like hiding in the bushes in the front of her house, like im talking borderline shit, then yes thats pretty bad. You would be surprised how borderline people can be.
The shit that really fucks with me is when girls say they're literally creeped out by a guy having a boner. Like fuck, what do you want from me? I swear I'm not an incel or anything but I'm really convinced that "creepy" is just another word for unattractive.
I am fine with guys hitting on me as long as they aren’t overly persistent when I’m obviously not interested. I’ll give you an example from the other night.
good experience:
>guy comes up to me
>”you’re looking very pretty tonight”
>”really? thank you, i’m actually on my way to meet somebody”
“you’re welcome. i hope you have a great night”
>”you too, thank you so much!”
>i keep walking
>he doesn’t follow me
bad experience:
>another guy comes up to me later
>sits next to me on a bench
>”you look sexy. you alone?”
>”i’m waiting for somebody”
>”who? your boyfriend?”
>”yes, he’ll be here soon.”
>”he’s not here now though. can i get your number?”
>i say i’m sorry but no
>i’m clearly scared and uncomfortable but he refuses to stop trying
>runs away once my scary looking bf shows up
just don’t be gross. accept rejection graciously. hitting on me is fine, doing it past the point i’m clearly uncomfortable is not.
OP, you're describing 2 separate issues and neither of them necessarily apply to you.
>Sometimes they say it's uncomfortable to reject them
this is not the guy's problem. This is the girls' problem. Usually this is firmly seated in a self identity that they don't want to own the fact that they rejected anyone because rejecting someone is bad, and they don't want to have to face a self image where they are bad, only a self image where they are good.
however a respectable adult woman should be able to easily handle dishing out tactful rejection with her self image firmly intact.
>sometimes they are insistent
this is the guy's problem, not the girls. If a girl did actually make their rejection clear,(and not just some flirtatious resistance that was intentionally murky), then the guys rudeness and disrespect is evident.
do either of these situations apply in your case, user?
lol I didn‘t even know other guys do that, but if the bar is that low then there‘s little to worry about
thats the catch 22 of the situation user. girls dont mind if its someone they want to date hitting on them. but they don't know who they want to date until someone hits on them. its like getting mad at song suggestions cuz you only want to hear the 'good' music.
at the end of the day you have to accept that girls are going to get their panties in a twist over it. just don't be insistent.
It really fucking sucks but hitting on women that you're interested in is like everything else in life.
It takes practice and you're gonna fail a lot before you get good at it. Trust me, there were a lot of girls I thought were super fucking hot and I never had the balls to talk to them. When I finally did, I was awful at it. But once I failed over and over, either getting rejected or not catching cues, I eventually got comfortable being myself and got comfortable flirting.
Another user mentioned knowing when a woman is not interested. That's super important.
You also gotta know when she's just being nice-- which takes time to understand.
There's a lot to it and there's also nothing to it.
Good luck, buddy.
Yeah pretty much this is ok
wrong attitude, if they dont want you, who the fuck cares if they are "uncomfortable", if being persistent changes their mind all the better, you have nothing to lose
women are whiny bitches (very cute, cuddly whiny bitches) so let them do the whining and you do the chasing, dont become a nu male idiot acting like a woman waiting to be asked out
you cant live your entire life avoiding conflicts, this is a low risk conflict with a potentially high reward
Fuck worrying about what women want user, no, better yet, fuck worrying about what they SAY they want.
Those two things are never the same thing.
>So I have some girl__friends and they are often complaining about guys hitting on them.
If your girl friends are comfortable enough to share such info with you, you should take that as a compliment b/c you're obviously not one of the guys being pushy. They appreciate you more than the guys that are stressing them out since you know where to draw boundaries and those other guys don't.
Having friendships is good and don't let fake chads and fedora tippers try to tell you otherwise. "The friendzone" is a retarded dead meme, you're not aiming to fuck/marry every woman you encounter and god help you if you try.
Oh man, I relate too much. I was bullied pretty badly in late elementary/early middle school and had guys as me out as a cruel joke too. I could never take mean-spirited "teasing" very well because it reminded me of when the other kids would break my stuff and hit me. I ended up rejecting a high school class clown that actually liked me because I thought he was trying to break my stuff out of jealousy/to upset me since I made the best grades in that class. I don't think it would've worked out anyway but I still feel remorseful for lashing out at him, he wasn't all the other kids that made fun of me and hurt me in the past and I was wrong to project that on him.
Are you ready for some cringe from the other side of the story?
>be me
>about 8 years ago
>lonely loveshy weeb sophomore
>best weeb friend is extremely extroverted and has a shitton of male friends (should've been an immediate red flag but w/e)
>single out one of her guy friends and decide to make him my crush
>don't have any classes with him at all, none of my hallway routes even let me pass by him at all
>come up with this extremely stupid plan to ask my friend for his number and become his "secret stalker"
>friend thinks it'll be funny and decides to give me his number
>I go to text the number hoping for a reply
>I send him various vague messages that, to me at the time, sounded super spooky and mysterious
>turns out I fucked up the last digit of the number and was texting his younger brother the whole time
>oh no, oops
>I fixed the number and tried to reuse the schtick with the right guy this time, but he just seemed disinterested
>shockingly neither of them blocked my dumb ass afaik
>eventually I apologized for the whole thing and decided to "start over" even though I still held a creepy crush
>he agrees
>next year
>one of my shitty extracurricular clubs interferred with the time I could've spent with him outside of school
>we ended up in a computer class together and I end up sitting between him and one of his guy friends to his dismay
>I made him homemade gifts (cookies in origami boxes) and I always got him a valentine on valentine's
>he ended up seeing other girls (including the weeb girl that gave me his number, who was cheating) and eventually I gave up on him after my junior year
>time skip to a year after graduation (I dated someone else for a little bit but that was it)
>lonely again, curious about how that old crush was doing
>google his name
>turns out he went to prison for rape charges, had to serve a few years
>as fucked up as it is, somewhere deep down inside I thought to myself "god i wish that were me, i wouldnt have pressed charges"
That's the thing you piece of shit, being persistent WON'T change their minds. It ONLY makes women uncomfortable. And justified in stabbing you in the dick.
You're right OP some of my friends complain about guys hitting on them but its just a way of bragging. Hotter the guy hitting on us the hotter we are so not just any guy is acceptable.
However, I have several ways of screening out the unwanted attention from the unwanted but let me give you an easy one. You approach and I walk away.
Trying and being rejected is uncomfortable to both parties, but it's not because either of them was in the wrong, there's no real way for you to completely cover your ass if you're rejected.
It sucks but that's just the nature of trying to make the first move.
All you can do is not pester them and be "insistent" as you put it.
>They appreciate you more than the guys that are stressing them out
Let's be real, the ones getting laid here are the ones "stressing them out" and not OP.
and the ones charged for sexual harrassment/rape.
They are telling you that so YOU don't hit on them.
You really think women go out after spending hours getting ready so they won't get attention?