Hi all, can I get some opinions on how the following text message sounds? I just got this girl's number a few hours ago and really don't want to blow it.
"Hey A, it's user. Sorry for being so brief earlier but I wasn't sure whether it was the right time to ask. Basically I think you're really cute and I wanna take you out for lunch or something. You interested?"
Any corrections, advices, etc. that you can give are much appreciated.
Without knowing anything about her you sound way too formal and beta.
Couple of things, avoid apologizing say something like “I didn’t mean to come off brief” and you might not wan to call her “cute” like if she puts a ton of time into her appearance and “cute” is clearly what she aims for then yea it’s fine but if not, avoid it.
Stick to the point, you want to take her out to lunch, full stop. If you want to be a little forward you could ask what day works for her rather than if she’s interested, but that’s a gamble.
I'm going to assume she's intetested in you if you got her number. Start by seeing if you can keep a normal conversation going first. I'd try asking her out for coffee or something and seeing how that goes. If the first date goes well, tell her how you really feel and ask her on a second date. You should let her know your intentions in person instead of over text.
That's how I'd do it, but I'm no expert. I don't know either of you so I can't 100% say for sure, but if she's legitimately intetested in you, it should be a natural experience.
i'm intrested
>going to assume she's intetested
That's the tricky part. I can't really read her. Like you I can only assume she's at least somewhat interested, but when giving it she honestly seemed very unenthused. That's why I wanted to apologize because I figured I fucked that part up.
OK thanks. I'll definitely cut the apology then.
Don't really know how to get around this as it's basically me... It would come out sooner or later even if I cheesed a few text messages.
Also, instead of "I think you're really cute" how about "I find you very attractive"... Or is that just over the top formal? Maybe "I really like you"? But that just sounds juvenile.
I don’t wan to speak for other women, but I really don’t think starting out with her looks is a great idea. If you’re positive she needs to hear that go ahead but I think you should cut the complements all together. Just say your interested in seeing here. She’ll get that you think she’s pretty just from that.
If you want to apologize, only mention it once and never go back to that subject. Say "lol sorry I was so short before" if you want to apologize, but definitely don't dwell on it or stay on the subject, otherwise you'll look like you have low self esteem and that'll be a huge turnoff.
OK. Only reason I avoided saying it like that was because this:
"Basically I'm interested in you and I wanna take you out for lunch or something. You interested?"
Just felt stilted and awkward. But if the compliment is that dumb of an idea I guess it can go.
Thank you.
Don't ask her, you idiot.
Just tell her the place and time to meet up at. Girls don't want to make decisions for themselves, they want the guy to be the leader.
I'm not that confident in my abilities and I also don't know when she is free or where she likes to eat.
Also I should mention I'm really not convinced about the whole coffee shop thing. I know it's popular for first dates but there's really only a Starbucks around here as far as I'm aware and I don't even like coffee.
Eh you can ignore the “just tell her man” stuff, even if this needs that, if that’s not you, best you both don’t get together anyway.
Maybe you’re over thinking it, or rather we all are on your behalf.
I am definitely over thinking it. How about this as a (tentative) final draft. I'm not gonna send it until later because I know she's gonna be out for a bit, so I guess it's still open for criticism.
"Hey A, it's user. Basically I'm interested in you and I wanna take you out for lunch or something. You up for it?"
I would right it as "hey blah blah. I'm interested in getting to know you a bit better and would like to ask you out to some lunch, would you like to get something with me the following blah blah"
Basicallys and or somethings are just a bit wishy washy, as if you aren't interested or are not saying everything on your mind as if your afraid of expressing yourself. Offering a timeslot is a nice little add too.
Just my two cents
Well I am afraid of expressing myself, deadly afraid. I don't want my autism to ruin this before I even get a chance because I actually really like this girl. But your criticisms are noted.
Not sure if you'll see this because it's been a few hours but I went for essentially your message with some minor changes. Here's hoping I get a positive reply. I feel a lot less anxious now that I hit send. Thanks to you and everyone in this thread, you are great.
jesus christ user.
"Ayyyyyy [insert her name], guess what, you're going to [insert location] with me on [insert date and time]. Wear something with cleavage."
Send that, and switch into the mindset of a man who would send that, and then never exit. Unless you like being pegged by this chick, in which case carry on as you were.
okay im a girl, and if a guy i knew sent that to me id be so turned off lol. girls dont want to be controlled mate, his message was good imo
yes you do, stop betafying OP. If he actually took my advice he'd be the exact type of guy you secretly fuck and masturbate to.
Dont listen to her OP, she's either posturing to save face, or she's serious and you dont want to date chicks like that, they will divorce rape you in the end.
jeeeesus youre so fucked man
I'd never show up if a guy did something like that. Kek.