Why do people get so bored in relationships and always want to cheat?

Why do people get so bored in relationships and always want to cheat?

Attached: 1508803000855.jpg (644x1080, 170K)

It’s so crazy to me that people can get more than one person to like them at a time.

Because you're considered "lucky" if you have a wife who puts out once per week, and even more so if she's good at pretending that she enjoys it. Meanwhile by the time men's libidos drop down that low, you're lucky to get a piece of poon once per month. Then your workplace employs a nice single mother who not only wants to bang you, but wants to bang more often than your wife does. So you keep the facade going until you're caught or the co-worker moves onto another guy. Rinse and repeat for several millenia.

The people who end up cheating are the ones that lied to themselves about the way they felt in the beginning and then realize too late that they are "in too deep" and refuse to confront the issues. People getting "bored" or simply realizing that their relationship no longer appeals to them is okay-- break it off and move on. But cheating is nothing more than cowardice and stupidity. People who want to keep the relationship going for the sake of convenience, but also want to be outside of the relationship.

I think one of the things that plays a lot into this is individuals who idolize relationships and dating and force themselves into it rather than allowing it to occur naturally. If things seem/feel unnatural at the beginning of the relationship, that's probably never going to change, but people feel the pressure of being whatever age they are and seeing all their friends/peers/family's relationships and gain a sense of urgency in the one situation that you absolutely should not rush. Thus, they end up feeling trapped in an unhealthy relationship, blame outside factors rather than admitting to themselves that they never should have entered the relationship to begin with, are too scare to confront their significant other, and in turn do the worst, most hurtful thing you could ever possibly do to another person.

>People who cheat idolize relationships
>Cheating is the WORST, most HORRIBLE thing you can do to a person!

When I say "idolize" I mean they overthink it, put themselves in a position where rather than forming a meaningful relationship and making a connection with a person, they just jump into the first opportunity that presents itself.

Cheating absolutely is one of the most horrible things you can do to a person and I don't find that my earlier point has any contradiction to that statement.

How'd you get so wise?
How can I leave someone who I love so much but I'm not in love with? I've been emotionally cheating but have been honest about it with him. He wants to remain in the relationship. When you've been with someone for a long time it's more difficult. My advice to others would be to get out as soon as you realize your mistake. I tried a long time ago but he really acted insane about it and scared me. I gave up after a few more times. I was foolish to stay, but I do feel loved and love him like family.

They want to fuck other people simple as that, man or women we are naturally drawn to beautiful people who have what we want psychically and most people end up comparing there spouse to the other person which creates internal conflict, which is part of the reason I mainly go for flings and fwb with women because I know at some point I’ll want another person so I have fun with them while it last then move on.

I don't think it's cut and dry by any means -- the exact situation you present is where the lines blur. Many times, people are decades into a relationship/marriage and have kids and even grandkids before realizing the relationship was a mistake, but breaking up just isn't the most feasible choice, so they mutually agree that they will simply change the nature of the relationship. Sometimes the mutual agreements work, and sometimes they don't and everyone ends up getting hurt more, but I think the most important factor is exactly what you pointed out -- honesty. As long as everyone communicates their needs and thoughts, then even if someone gets hurt, at least there was never anything malicious going on and it can be amicable.

So dipping your dongle in an extra hooha is worse than, say, emotional and physical abuse. Which is what happens when guys genuinely think that cheating is the worst thing in the world. I bet you've faked a suicide just to get someone to pay attention to you.

I wish I could communicate half as well as you. Thank you.

I never said it's worse than emotional and physical abuse? I just said it's horrible and should be avoided, how fucking hard is it to just admit to yourself that you wanna fuck someone else and be honest with your significant other? And abuse isn't a result of guys thinking that cheating is the worst thing in the world -- all three are a result of immature individuals who don't know how to function in a relationship and want everything to go their way.

>immature individuals who don't know how to function in a relationship and want everything to go their way.
Kinda like demanding monogamy because having fun hurts your feelings.

Not that user, but I would argue that cheating, more often than not, is a tad abusive. At the very least you have to lie to your partner about something serious and, if ever confronted, will have to resort to gaslighting to maintain the lie, which is a method of abuse.

>how dare you expect this thing we both agreed to
>this is akin to emotional abuse!
lmao

Monogamy isn't the end-all be-all. It's all about communication. If you lead someone to believe / promise them you are going to be monogamous and then aren't, you're a piece of shit. If you go into the relationship communicating that you are not a monogamous person and the other person continues the relationship regardless, then you're golden. I don't think anybody demands monogamy, couples just mutually agree on it, and cheating is breaking that agreement.

If someone wants to be monogamous, they are entirely justified in their preferences that. You sound like a cunt who cheated, got caught, and is upset that you were treated like shit, when you most likely deserved it.

Attached: 1401829411495.jpg (222x216, 9K)

I'm glad I'm not alone here haha

Kinda like how until recently, couples agreed that the woman submit to everything the man says. It's what they did at the time so it's okay.

Nigga you're trolling way too hard to succeed, 2/10 at best. Try again.

>Being upset at something that the majority of couples have always done
Boy, if you think this is trolling then I have some bad news for you about reality.

>women
>being able to "agree" to anything before late 19th century
lmaoing at ur life here

>My husband not wanting me to fuck around is the same as being oppressed!
You must be one of those basic white bitches always looking for things to complain about.

Boredom is not the same as intimacy issues. I don't know if you've been paying attention to the world around you but being truly emotionally vulnerable with another human being isn't exactly a walk in the park. Human relationships are immensely complicated. I think chalking infidelity solely up to boredom is a very childish over simplification.

Mostly they don’t like the whole person, maybe only the big dick or the abs etc.

Pair bonding is meant to last long enough to raise a child out of infancy . I don't believe that the monogamy for Life thing is really normal, just a heavily romanticized narrative that fits well with some convenient social norms.

People lose attraction over time. It's the Coolidge effect. And sure, there are long term relationships that work out, but they're maintaining that through an emotional codependency, convenience ("doing it for the kids") etc. I don't mean to sound cynical, just trying to look at things objectively

Should cheating even be forgiven? And even if it is forgiven, do those relationships usually last? I know there are alot of factors to take in. But in the end, wouldnt the couple just be lying to eachother?

We didn't evolve for monogamy. At least, men didn't. Once you creampie the bitch she's of no further use to you.

Boredom is never the reason for any cheating, that's autistic thinking at work.

There are various reasons.

>someone falls in love with someone else but does not want to break their first lover's heart or divorce or complicated the family, etc

>sexual interest in someone else, not connected to current partner

>sexual interest in others in general, need for novelty

Etc. Most people don't cheat.

>Cheating is the WORST, most HORRIBLE thing you can do to a person!

It is.

I wasn't bored in my relationship when I cheated on an ex-girlfriend. I was feeling neglected. I was literally told one day "Hey, I'm going off abroad for two weeks, isn't it great?"

It was legit trip, part of her studies, but it was dropped so suddenly on me, and I only just heard about it. Up to that point, we saw each other literally every day. Every day for more than a year. She had become part of my day, a routine so to speak. And then she just up ended everything.

Once she was there, we only heard from each other once a day, at most, and I could tell she was distracted by being abroad. I felt like utter shit, like completely and utterly worthless. So when an ex of mine called me up and asked to see me up, I agreed for the simple reason that I wanted to see someone, not because I wanted to cheat or anything.

Once we saw each other and talked our fill, she kissed me. I won't bullshit you and tell you that I didn't want it to happen, and when she kissed me, I kissed her back. It felt so visceral, I felt alive and full of lust and we went off to her place and fucked like we never fucked before. I spent the whole day and night with her and didn't want to let go. She didn't want to let go either. She asked me to get together again with me and I guess I snapped out of the whole thing and realized how fucking shitty I was with what I did, so I said 'no', broke her heart and went back to my girlfriend, whom I never told anything about this, even after we broke up.

To this day, I feel like shit for it and have abstained from forming relationships with other people due to being afraid I'll cheat again. Also, I advocate the punishment and shaming of cheaters whenever possible due to self-loathing for my own cheating.

Attached: 1432468987851.jpg (1056x1072, 156K)

spotted the cheater

You're not a bad person man, you realize that what you did was wrong and fucked up and even though you have reasons for it and recognize what led to it, you don't use them as excuses. I think the mistake was not telling her about it at some point, but I realize that once you broke up, there's no real way to bring it back up without it being horrendous. At this point all you can do is move forward and keep in mind how awful you felt. Be realistic with yourself before getting into a new relationship -- ask yourself, if for some reason the previous situation repeated itself (leaving for two weeks suddenly), would I be able to control myself? If you wouldn't, that's okay -- it just means you need to find a relationship with a person who feels the same way, and that if there's ever going to be any distance, it needs to be discussed and there needs to be communication during the time that they/you are away. Use your experience as a tool to better your future relationships, not prevent you from having them in the first place.

Either than or they were cheated on previously and went all redpill about it and decided it "taught them a lesson" about the way the world works and now go through life with a twisted sense of reality due to an isolated incident that they chose not to acknowledge or deal with the ramifications of properly.

Cheating is a way to spice up our boring lives.

Secret meetings, forbidden romances, all that is just to fight against the boredom we feel.

That, and our SO's sometimes get too comfortable and let themselves go physically, or they never wanna go out. Idk. Depends on the person. Personally, I cheated on my last gf because she was emotionally blackmailing me. So I gave it right back to her.

Attached: 1534437113597.gif (478x350, 84K)

Distance isn't a problem for me. Before that relationship, I was involved with a girl who lived in a different city and we could only see each other once every two weeks. I saw other friends who happened to be girls, including an ex or two, but never had any thoughts of cheating or if there had been an attempt by someone else instigated on me, I'd have rebuffed them and told my girlfriend about it.

I don't like thinking of my cheating as being out of control. I was in control. I just chose very badly. Though I didn't suffer the usual consequences for cheating, here I am, 10 years later, all alone, with some very sociopathic tendencies and anti-social behavior rising with every passing year that I keep to myself.

Maybe not the usual consequences, but you truly have suffered more than enough. You're honest with yourself and that's what matters -- you recognize the choice you made. Sociopathic tendencies or not, you very clearly have a conscience and a heart :) We're all our own worst critics-- nobody else in the world is going to think of you the way that it sounds like you think of yourself. If you believe in the good in you, that's all others will see until you make the choice to reveal some of the less wonderful things, and the right people will love you regardless.

>reality

Buddy.... that's the thing that exists outside your own mind.

Biology. Look up cad/fast vs dad/coy.

I'm honest here, where no one really knows me and ultimately my posts will be forgotten. I have no friends IRL who know about this, and in truth I have only one friend IRL that I only see once every 3-4 months due to my increasing anti-social behavior. And the last bit, well, joke's on you, but I hate myself and though I project a cheerful demeanor, I think it gets through to people anyway so they don't really bother connecting with me. It's okay, though, one day I'll actually die and be free.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this and I hope that you're okay :( I know there's not much I can say as a random person on the internet that will make a difference but I truly hate to hear that you feel this way and I wish nothing but the best for you. I know it seems like a waste but I believe our time on this earth is precious and that the meaning of life is to form connections with others who are walking on this same stupid space rock and trying to keep it all together. Whether that be anonymously on the internet or face to face. Whether or not you bring it into real life, I'm happy you're at least talking to somebody about it :)

or theyre s/o gets fat or ages terribly

I need constant and fresh validation because my self-worth hinges on the adoration of others.

>Cheating is the WORST, most HORRIBLE thing you can do to a person!
The only people who tend to think cheating isn't that bad tend to also be cheaters. Sorry sweetie.

Googled and that shit came up with zilch.

I don't think this is strictly true. Staying faithful to a partner is making sure you'll never lose them. Why threaten a functional relationship with someone you've spent so much time to get to know and understand and become comfortable with? Once you reach a certain age, dating becomes a bore and a gamble; finding someone who you're compatible with and have a strong connection with is even rarer.

Isn't this a valid selling point for monogamy despite loss of the wild, lustful attraction you first get with the person?

For me it's crazy enough that people can get a person to like them.