Why is it that women say I’m attractive, but none of them want to date me?

I don’t feel comfortable flirting with girls because they never flirt with me

I don’t play video games or watch television

I play sports (for fun not professionally) but I live in the city, no one does that weird lumberjack shit you’re talking about here.

That’s the thing though. I have asked female friends of mine who are usually very honest and would tell me if I’m doing something wrong. But they just say “you’re an attractive guy, girls like you”. But there’s no evidence to support their claim. It doesn’t line up with the reality where all girls treat me like I’m sexually invisible

>I don’t feel comfortable flirting with girls because they never flirt with me

If your like me I bet that they flirt with you but you don't know it or just think "oh wow they are being really nice to me".

Some women do it in slight ways. Of course don't look into every small thing but if this applies to you try working on knowing when a girl flirts.

Like I said, you won't find your answers here. Al you'll get are variations of "improve yourself" (which is valid) and people projecting their own insecurities, or their general opinion of women as a monolith.
>I have asked female friends of mine
Ask girls who refused to date you.

>I don’t feel comfortable flirting with girls because they never flirt with me
You stupid little numale faggot. I fucking hate how often I run across this kind of thinking on this website. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're afraid to flirt with girls because they're not flirting with you, what the fuck do you think girls are thinking when they talk to you? Their minds are going 100 times faster overthinking the whole social situation and coming to some over-analyzed bullshit conclusion. 99% of the time, the girl isn't going to initiate shit. You can't just sit there with your dick in your hands and wonder "well why aren't girls coming on to me?" YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE COMING ON TO THEM. Don't be some kind of autistic sexual predator, but you have to fucking show interest in them or they're just going to think you're not interested (wow imagine that).

I’ve studied the lists of signs that women supposedly give when they’re attracted to guys and there definitely aren’t any girls who give me those signs

There aren’t any girls who outright refused to date me because I don’t really ask women out

I’m not expecting them to grab my face and tongue rape me for fuck sake. I just want some signs

Girls give me literally no signs of attraction. It’s as if I’m sexually invisible. They friendzone me within seconds of meeting them

>Why is it that women say I’m attractive, but none of them want to date me?
>There aren’t any girls who outright refused to date me because I don’t really ask women out
Right. Start asking them.

>Their minds are going 100 times faster overthinking the whole social situation and coming to some over-analyzed bullshit conclusion. 99% of the time, the girl isn't going to initiate shit.
I am a girl, and I am saving this quote. It somehow perfectly explains how I feel every time I find a guy I start to like.

Literally cannot act due to how much shit is filling up my head.

>I just want some signs
>They friendzone me within seconds of meeting them

DENSE. MOTHERFUCKER.

How can I ask women out if none of them show any signs of being attracted to me?

When I say they give me nothing, I mean literally NOTHING. I go to parties and girls will flirt with literally every guy except me. I’m the only person I know IRL who has never been on a date. All girls treat me as a friend and nothing more

Rather than just calling me a “dense motherfucker” why don’t you actually tell me what I’m doing wrong?

Girls don’t show interest in me. That’s a plain and simple fact. No one can refute it

The question you have dedicated this whole thread to was "why none of them want to date me". You have then said that you have never asked anyone on a date, but that girls have said that you are indeed attractive. The fact of the matter is that you DON'T KNOW whether they want to date you or not.

Your problem is an inability to ask women out. Sort that out and then you'll see whether them not wanting to date you is an actual problem.

What do you mean signs? You're still using the same excuse "I want them to start showing interest between the two of us". You're thinking like how a woman should think. Stop fucking looking for some list of "signs" you found on the internet, you're not going to pick up on any of them and it's a waste of your energy. What do you think men did before the internet? Stop over-thinking things like a woman and use your intuition, it's common fucking sense. You see a girl you like? Talk to her, show interest in her as a person, joke around with her and show her that you want to have a good time with her. If you keep fucking sitting back and waiting to see "signs" or whatever the fuck, you're going to keep being "that attractive guy who can't get girls" or w/e.

>Literally cannot act due to how much shit is filling up my head.
I used to be like OP in high school and what do you know, I never got any girls in high school. Idk what it is about the way society is setup right now, but it funnels a lot of men into thinking like women and they end up just as inactive and passive as women.

Because girls don’t treat me like I’m a sexual partner. They never even talk about sex in the presence of me. It’s like I don’t even come into their consideration in terms of potential partners

When I went and actually asked or prompted some female friends, yes, they said I was attractive. But it just doesn’t line up with reality. If I’m attractive, then why when I go to a party or a bar do all of the women flirt with other guys and not me?

>Talk to her, show interest in her as a person, joke around with her and show her that you want to have a good time with her.

That is literally exactly what I do. But it never progresses into flirty or sexual territory. Just platonic conversation

Mate, I have unfortunately reached the end of my patience. You don't know whether they want to date you or not, so the question is unwarranted. You either acknowledge your actual problem of not being able to ask them out and start working on it, or wait for them to initiate simultaneously being unable to express any interest yourself.

Sort out your actual problem, then see whether you being undateable is really a problem.

You want me to ask out girls with them showing literally no sexual interest in me. How is that logical? How?

I just don’t get it. No one can explain it to me. Why do women show no interest in me? And how can I fix it?

To use an analogy, you’re telling me “just throw the basketball in the hoop” but no one has even given me a ball to throw

>. Idk what it is about the way society is setup right now, but it funnels a lot of men into thinking like women and they end up just as inactive and passive as women.
Yeah, it is pretty obvious that a lot of people are running around, really into someone, and nothing ever happens, because nobody does anything.

It really sucks, especially when you hear these stories of two people who clearly like each other, and want to spend time together, but no one does anything, because both are just passive and waiting for the other to make a move.

>Why do women show no interest in me?
Two options:
1. They do, but since women are generally subtle about this sort of stuff, you don't notice it.
2. They aren't sexually interested before you start making moves.

I am rarely sexually interested in anybody until we get to kissing.

But in this case I have absolutely no way of telling which girls will say yes and which girls will say no

How can I walk into a party/bar and just randomly guess which girls are willing to give me a shot?

>You want me to ask out girls with them showing literally no sexual interest in me.
Yes. The second part of your premise is unknown though. For all I know you're unable to register what amounts to "sexual interest". But yes. I do want you to ask them out, regardless of your perception. As it stands, this thread is unwarranted as you don't know whether they want to date you or not. So yes. Ask them out.
>Why do women show no interest in me?
Unclear whether that's the case, but you not being to display any interest yourself/not knowing how to do it certainly doesn't help.
>And how can I fix it?
Don't know as I don't know you.
>you’re telling me “just throw the basketball in the hoop” but no one has even given me a ball to throw
Not true. You're just keeping the ball to yourself and not inviting anyone to play.

>But in this case I have absolutely no way of telling which girls will say yes and which girls will say no
Yes you do.

You ask. And then they'll tell you "yes" or "no".

Breh
I’m not an expert on the female gender nor am I good at picking up women but it’s a hard fact of life that you have to just put yourself out there at risk of rejection. It’s like fishing. You don’t wait until you see a fish in the water to cast your line

>But it never progresses into flirty or sexual territory.
Let's think about this for a moment. It's you and a girl in a conversation: 2 people. In order for the conversation to progress in a given direction, one of those 2 people has to be the one to physically say something to push it in that direction. It's not going to be the girl. That said, I don't flirt sexually until after we've at least hooked up. Prior to that it's really just about feeling each other out and trying to figure out whether this is actually a girl I'd be interest in or if she's some kind of openly crazy bitch.

>You want me to ask out girls with them showing literally no sexual interest in me. How is that logical?
Bro, unless the girl is looking for like a one night stand, most girls are not going to want to talk sexually prior to a first date anyway. And you'll know if the girl is looking for a one night stand because that usually only happens at places like clubs.

Okay, tell me precisely what I have to do. In exact terms. Step by step

I walk into a party. I see a girl I like. What now?

I’m clueless. I have no idea what I’m doing

No, BEFORE I ask

I’m not a fucking suicide bomber. I’m not going to go emotionally destroy myself willingly

I can’t. I cannot deal with rejection. It will destroy me

For you it’s a lot easier. You know you’re sexually attractive, because you’ve done things with girls before.

I’ve not. I have zero experience. I need a girl to show obvious interest in me because I have no belief in my ability to be sexually attractive. I’m 22 years old and never been on a date. I’m the definition of unsexy

I’m not over my fear of rejection either, but the fact that the only women who will ever actually approach you are disgusting fatties should be motivation enough to start thinking about getting over it

>I cannot deal with rejection
How can you ever expect to succeed if you're not willing to fail? There's two types of people in the world, OP: there are people who like to win, and there are people who hate to lose. You're the latter. The problem with the latter is that not losing doesn't necessarily mean winning, it may mean (which is true in your case) that you choose not to play at all because hey at least you're not losing, right? If you're fine with not losing then stay where you are, never ask any girls out, and stay alone. You won't lose that way, but don't expect to win either.

>I’m not a fucking suicide bomber. I’m not going to go emotionally destroy myself willingly
Then why should the girl? You are being a massive hypocrite.

But enjoy being lonely, I guess.

>Okay, tell me precisely what I have to do.
I'm happy that you're making some progress and starting to acknowledge your actual problem (ie: not being able to ask them out)
As far as initiation advice goes, I don't like engaging in it with people I don't know on the internet like some PUA retard/scam artist. Too many variables. But if you claim to be able to engage in platonic conversation without much effort, then simply end said conversation with an invitation to a date.

All the best mate, but please, don't delude yourself into thinking you're undateable. You don't know that yet. Hope you find the strength to deal with your actual problem though.

>why is it so hard to get a gf?
Western social norms are so complex and contradictory these days that it is extremely difficult to accomplish what used to be simple achievements.
Despite this, nobody in the western world wrote a book on social interaction and proper etiquette for everyday life. In other words, Normies don’t come with manuals.

TL;DR
Move to Asia.

Source:
A guy living in China

99% of girls I meet IRL will not be as sexually inexperienced as me. The vast majority of women I meet have dated and had sex before. They KNOW that they’re attractive, they should technically be more confident than me.

I’ve had nothing. Not even one date. I need girls to show interest in me or else I’m just not going to have the self belief to initiate

So you are ugly. Have you done anything to try to improve your looks? Lifting, nice clothes, interesting hobbies, successful career etc?
These will help but you have still have to play in your own league-go after girls that are the same/10 as you.
The root of your problem is addressed .

Yes user, they KNOW they’re attractive. They have the pick of the litter. So you have to show them why you’re worth picking.

What do you think I did before I did anything with a girl? I didn't lose my virginity until my very early 20s because I used to be you and I hate myself for it. Everyone had a first time, it gets easier as you go but if you're not even willing to put yourself out there then how can you ever expect to have one? There are a lot of ugly people out there who get plenty of pussy. If girls are telling you you're attractive, then you're probably not even ugly. From what I've read in this thread, looks don't seem to be your problem, your mindset does.

No I’m not ugly

I’m in shape. I dress well. Women often compliment me on my clothes. I have several hobbies that I genuinely enjoy. I’m in college and get good grades and am working towards my desired career path

When I say I don’t know if I’m sexually attractive, I don’t mean facial aesthetics. I mean overall demeanor. I mean that I have no belief in my ability to make a girl attracted using words and behavior

Again, I didn’t say anything about looks. I just have no belief in my ability to be “sexy”

Well it sounds like you have confidence problems, specifically that you lack the confidence in yourself to actually ask women out. I've been here the whole thread and frankly I think your problem is best summed in this post I leave you with this-
>Only the unknown frightens men. But once a man has faced the unknown, that terror becomes the known.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

>99% of girls I meet IRL will not be as sexually inexperienced as me.
Bullshit. Blatantly false. You are actually an idiot if you think this. Had you been at least 5 years older, maybe, but not at your age. I am finding plenty of virgin girls at 25+. This is just an excuse for your conplete lack of a spine.

>I’ve had nothing. Not even one date. I need girls to show interest in me or else I’m just not going to have the self belief to initiate
Then enjoy growing old alone. No one is going to initiate on a guy who refuses to do it himself, because he thinks it's the girls job. That mentally makes you a massive faggot. Your best bet is a guy picking you up to be his fuckboy.

Grow a pair or take a pair against your boypussy.

Yes there are virgin girls but I’m not JUST a virgin. I’ve never been on a date. I’ve only kissed twice and both times I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing, and still don’t. There are very, very few girls for whom all those things apply

How can I be expected to have the confidence to initiate when I’m a dateless virgin and literally no girls show interest in me? Reality is set up in such a way to destroy my confidence

>I have asked female friends...
What the fuck are you doing? Don't ask that type of question to women, don't expose yourself to them this way and last but not least never get an advise from them NEVER.

Those girls who you have been talking to, their're all your friends, right? Their're just saying things that wouldn't hurt you, but truth be told, they all have a mix of pity and disgusting when it comes to you.

If you are really handsome then your behaviuor is like a shit, work on that.

Not being a asshole who cries at forums because of pussy is a good start.

>How can I be expected to have the confidence to initiate when I’m a dateless virgin and literally no girls show interest in me? Reality is set up in such a way to destroy my confidence
Just shut the fuck up already and stop being a pussy. Like I don't know what else to tell you and I don't think anyone else here does either at this point other than man the fuck up. You're whining like a bitch "boohoo poor me I'm a dateless virgin muh confidence!" Fuck, if you want to go on a date with a girl fucking ask here. It's that god damn simple.

I can’t stop being a pussy

You don’t understand my pain. You don’t understand how miserable I am about being a dateless virgin. You don’t understand the sheer unparalleled DREAD I feel whenever I think about asking a girl out. It’s a feeling like no other. I’m scared that if I try to ask a girl out I’ll have a panic attack. I don’t even know how to ask a girl out without looking like a retard

BUDDY I WAS A DATELESS VIRGIN INTO MY EARLY TWENTIES, I WENT TO ONE OF THE BIGGEST PARTY SCHOOLS IN THE NATION AND WENT 4 YEARS WITHOUT GETTING MY DICK TOUCHED ONCE! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING AND I'M TELLING YOU TO STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY. It's that god damn simple. You're faced with some basic propositional logic here.
>If X, then not Y.
>If you're a pussy, then you will not get pussy
If you want Y, stop X. Stop being a fucking pussy or you're not getting any ever. And the longer you wait, the harder it is. If you really wanted a girl that bad, you'd conquer your fear of rejection and ask her out.

>"wanna go eat something"

You've come a long way since the beginning of this thread. Instead of masking your real problem of not being to ask girls out with a defacto statement about them not wanting to date you, you've acknowledged your confidence issues. See a shrink.

Nah desu it should be phrased
>let's get something to eat

How do I stop being a pussy?

I’ve tried for years to muster up the courage to ask a girl out. I just can’t do it. It’s like there’s a mental block

I’m never in a position where I can easily ask a girl out. Whenever I’m speaking to a girl it’s always in a group, never one to one. So my only options are to ask a girl out around other people, which sounds like the most awkward thing ever, or to do it over text which is just a cop out

Either works as long as he actually says it.

I’ve seen several therapists for many years and while they have been able to help me with many issues, none of them have been able to solve the problem of my inability to attract women

You mean inability to approach. You need to get it through your head that this entire problem is self manufactured by psyching yourself out. You are no different from the kid that can't jump off the diving board.

I think you're lying, but on the off chance you're not find a decent one that has a proven record of dealing with such issues successfully.

(plot twist: you haven't even presented it as a problem to our therapists, much like you forgot to tell us you never asked anyone out for more than half the thread)

Watch some videos of Real Social Dynamics on youtube. Nothing happens overnight, but the first step is to get yourself out of that negative head space. When you start having your own fun, free from outcome or expectations, girls WILL want you. However, part of this process is being uncomfortable and "manning the fuck up." Excited for you!

/Thread

2 things: You have to come to terms with the fact that this is literally the only way you're going to get a girl, and you have to reach the point that your desire to get a girls is greater than your fear of rejection. I know what you mean by the mental block thing. Sometimes I'd be talking to girls that were clearly into me, but I just never asked them for their number and I didn't know why at the time and I immediately regretted not doing it.

You've said that you've read online lists of signs to look for and you've probably done all kinds of other shit trying to figure out a way to skirt around the fact of the matter. Hell, you probably even realized at the time that this shit wasn't going to work and that it would be a lot easier to just ask a girl out who you were interested in. There's no secret cheat, no way around the potential for rejection. That's the barebones reality of the situation. You have to come to terms with that, and I don't mean "well yeah you're right but what if I do this?" No! There's no way around, there's no way under it, above it, there's no trick that your dad used to meet your mom, or that those pua guys use to fuck tons of hot girls. If you want a girls number, if you want to go out with her, if you want to fuck her, you have be willing to fail. You have to be willing to make mistakes, and you'll make them. But you entire life has been full of mistakes. You didn't learn to ride a bike without falling, but you fell when you had to and now you certainly don't need training wheels anymore. If you want to grow as a person and move forward, you have to take action and be willing to face the consequences of those actions good or bad, otherwise you're living in the hellish stasis you're currently in.

>Why is it that women say I’m attractive, but none of them want to date me?
You look good but your personality is shit.

Dude, I used to be completely socially inept. I still am, in some respects, and I only 2-3 friends I could count on if my life depended on it. But what I want to say is that I find it a lot easier to approach women now because of this thing I do with my female friends where we challenge each other to come up to women we come across and ask for their numbers.

It was very daunting at first. No shit, the first hundred times I did it, I was shaking while I handed the girls my phone. But over time, you begin to forget about how tense you are merely because some women are BOUND to give you their number. Whether they did it out of actual interest or because they pitied you enough to give you a confidence boost, it doesn't matter. The mere fact that you hit 1 out of, say, 20 would mean the world to you.

I currently do not have a girlfriend, but my most recent one was way out of my league. We broke because I had the gall to cheat when she started acting incredibly moody and the past me was so stupid and bitchy to handle her. She was, to me at least, an 8.5. A woman I had a huge crush on although we've never actually met. And I, on the other hand, was 4.5, with a beer belly and bad skin.

Starting out to ask women for their numbers is, to me, a clear and precise science that you have to master. Like in chess, the openings are almost always categorized and clean-cut. So to help you, I'd disclose you the spiel that has served me through the better part of 4 years ever since I changed my life around women.

STEPS FOR APPROACHING WOMEN YOU DON'T KNOW:
1) Find a place where you could sit down standby where women would naturally pass by (university walkways) or standby (bars).
2) Make sure you have a crowd of friends with you. Better if there's at least one woman. If none, that'd be just as fine as long as you're at least three.
...

First post best post.

3) When you see a woman approaching your direction, look at their face. Wait for them to give you a glimpse. When they do, you don't need to smile or acknowledge them, but you have to let them know that you saw them.
4) Slowly walk to their direction. If you get eye contact, smile a little toothless smile. Practice this smile in a mirror so you know not to smile too wide.
5) Now comes the main battle. When they acknowledge you (or even if they don't, you can just call out "hey"), you say the following spiel:
"Hi, I was sitting/standing over there with my friends and I can't help but admire you're pretty. I figured that if I didn't approach you now, I'd regret it. I'm (name) by the way. *extend hand for a handshake*. (Usually they say their name here, if they don't, ask for it eitherway)."
Once they seem to have stopped for you and engaged you in conversation, ask "Can I get your number?" then before they could reply, hand your phone over.
Now if they're a bit interested, they'd take it and give you their number. If not, fuck it man. I got 30+ rejections before I got my first number. I've gotten over 40 numbers this way and I still sometimes shake because of how much I know the girls I vye for are way out of my league. It's okay if you still do shake.

6) Then, whether you get the number or not, you say goodbye, wish them a nice day, and say you're going back to your friends.

REPEAT UNTIL SUCCESSFUL

I have presented it to my therapists. Some of them seemed really weirded out by the fact that I brought up sex/women. Others gave me advice but nothing special, just “you have to try and ask a girl out”. Exact same things you’re telling me

How can I make it less scary before I do it?

I legitimately feel like I’m going to have a panic attack if I ask out a girl. It feels like the biggest and most important thing I could ever do, and for that reason it’s impossibly daunting. There has to be a way to make it less stressful. I shouldn’t be feeling like I’m about to die every time I think about asking a girl out

Now, I'm saying all this because I think the main reason you're loathing in self-pity and hate is because of you're keeping at it with women who already know you and wouldn't want to be romantically linked with you.

The best thing for us losers is to keep rolling our dice with other women. We'll eventually get it, man. We will. The fact that you were honest to yourself enough to start this thread and likewise kind enough to admit your vulnerabilities makes you a man women should be with. The work of making that happen falls on us. On us tossing aside ungrateful women and finding ones that would appreciate a good catch.

>How can I make it less scary before I do it?
You don't. This whole mindset of "how can I make it less scary" "what are some signs so I can know for sure" etc are exactly why you're so scared. It's self-fulfilling. Stop trying to find a cheat and come to terms with the reality of the situation.

Just reading this gave me social anxiety. Please no

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But it’s so so terrifying. Inhumanly terrifying

I just want to know how to calm myself down and stop caring.

so you've gotten 40 numbers but are you actually dating anyone? your advice sounds like PUA-shit filtered through someone who got molested as a kid

Read it again so you don't judge too quickly and harshly. The preceding post says I am not dating anyone right now. I'm not ready for one because I have my own problems I wouldn't want to drag anyone to.

And no this isn't PUA manipulation BS. The post itself says you get out of there ASAP to prevent our usual social anxiety kicking into full gear, unlike PUA BS where they give rote procedure to dealing with women. OP's problem is that there are women who have told him he looks attractive, but none want to be with him. The solution, I think, is to silence those voices by expanding the pool.

Imagine this. If you only cared about one woman's opinion of you, you'd be downright devastated if they don't like you. By proportion, you'd be just as sad if you liked 10 women and none of them liked you back. But if only 1 out of those 10 liked you back, you'd feel a whole lot better. The point is to stop caring about what the women he's interested in think of him by casting nets and possibly finding one who will be.

just don't give a fuck and treat them like guys

this is what op has done and got nowhere doing so

STOP. Stop replying to this thread and let it die. You are completely hopeless. Lets summarize:
>it's scary asking women out
>i have seen many therapists about my situation but none helped
>so now I seek help on a Moroccan Ant Breeding Forum for help
>Give me an easy way. Give me a magic pill.
>i'll ignore all the consistent/good advice in this thread and keep complaining
>wahh it's too scary

you can not be helped. Be alone for life.

Start asking out girls or continue jacking off

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Weird lumberjack shit is what gets your dick wet, fool.