I hope that some user will just help give me a frame of reference here. My boyfriend (Fresh relationship only a few weeks old) -he doesn't wanna see me everyday. Sometimes we skip days (because he is "busy" maybe sometimes legitimate or partial truth) I have an example to give of why I think he doesn't want to see me aside from the fact that we don't see each other everyday.
In example I asked to hangout with him Thursday and he says "I don't know if I have plans that day"
We live 40 mins away from each other and he usually drives to see me.
Is this normal that he doesn't want to see me everyday this early in the relationship? Is it a red flag? What do you guys make of this? Am I just too clingy?
>he doesnt't want to see me everyday :*(*** >am i too clingy? Yes.
Levi Jones
I mean, 40 minutes away AND he drives to you? I don't blame him. You should be meeting him halfway and go to see him sometimes. That shit can get exhausting for anybody, even if you love your SO and have been seeing them for years.
He's being completely normal and you are overthinking this.
Carter Collins
It would be a heck of a lot of time, money, and energy to drive 40 minutes there and home every day. I don’t think you should expect that from him or worry that it’s because of you.
Anthony Harris
Given that he's doing all that driving, it seems reasonable to not want to see you every day. Why can't you make an effort to go to him if you want to see him so much? If you don't drive, you clearly can't empathise with how much time and money he'd be spending on seeing you every day.
Also surely both of you have other shit going on that you need to do?
Landon Richardson
He lives 40 min away and you’re pissed he doesn’t come see you every single day? Fuck off. My girlfriend lives in the same city as me and I see her once or twice a month tops.
Blake Bell
I'm sorry if I come across as crazy guys but I'm used to being in long term live-in relationships in the past 6 years of my life.
I am willing to uber to him halfway sometimes but I don't want to if he doesn't want to see me and it just feels like I'm desperate to go out of my way.
Nathan Carter
stfu and stop being a freeloader. pay for gas or go to him. cant stand bitches who wanna just sit on their ass and complain when the MEN are too busy doing shit SO HE CAN GO SEE YOUR LAZY ASS. if id drive 40 mins there, you better be taking dick or cooking me a good meal and giving me a back rub. otherwise, you bet id be dipping my dick in other women
Brandon Edwards
>you better be taking dick or cooking me a good meal and giving me a back rub. b-but user I do do those things except the cooking part
Sebastian Kelly
>no cooking its like you'll want to be dumped your whole life
Owen Wilson
I live in an apartment with 0 counterspace
Anthony Johnson
Why the fuck can't you Uber ALL the way to him?
Nathaniel Williams
so...youre basically saying you just eat microwave food? HAHAHAH this just keeps getting better so youre lazy AND dont cook? and on top youre unhealthy?
>into the trash it goes
Aiden Thompson
who initiated the relationship
Carson Cook
>My girlfriend lives in the same city as me and I see her once or twice a month tops.
This isn’t normal either. Your gf probably has chad’s cock deep inside her right now.
Maybe not every single day, but I think seeing your SO at least a few times a week is typical.
Ryder Wilson
very expensive, I can just uber to his work it is closer by a lot He told me he liked me
Jaxson Allen
This relationship won't last because you already put a lot of pressure on him and act clingy. And sounds like your lifestyle is shit if you don't even have a kitchen.
Austin Flores
Well, I am just like your bf. Just enjoy so days off. Nothing wrong about it
Daniel Cook
No that's just how this city is, it's very expensive. How can I relieve pressure, I thought I should be upfront?
Leo Murphy
If it's out of your way to go see your boyfriend why are you in a relationship?
Ethan Evans
it's absolutely not I have no problem with ubering to see him sometimes My problem is I don't want to feel desperate which would be the case if he's not into me and I just want to know if it's that or if it's me just assuming things and if it would make me clingy to uber to him when he's already trying to not hang out sometimes
Nathaniel Thompson
Just stop being so clingy and let him have his days off... and just fyi, if he will have the one to always come to your place, he will grow tired with it.
Noah Rodriguez
>has to drive 40 minutes each way to see you >has his own life to lead outside of your brand new relationship >you think you're entitled to his time all the time >doesn't want to hang out every day
This has to be bait.
I once passed on a relationship with a girl because she lived that far away and I knew it might as well be long distance.
Carson Cooper
LDRs can work out with mature and balanced girls, but OP sounds like she doesn't have a life outside this relationship
Brayden Butler
but did you have a car
Carson Ward
Oh my fucking god.
My ex was just like you.
First relationship, everything going normal. Suddenly she needs to be around me 24/7. LITERALLY or she would cry.
If I wanted to hang out with my friends or go home early (was 16/17 at the time and working 5 days a week. Was summer) on my days off (normally hanging 12 hours a day) she would start crying and saying she felt unwanted. Parents had to get involved. Didn't work. Only time I tried to go home early was 15 minutes early right after we had a conversation about needing to hang out less (mostly because her mom advised it). She started crying, ended up being late home.
No amount of reassurance. No amount of saying I will be here TOMORROW. Nothing. Had to break it off. I hope your relationship doesn't sound like this.
Welcome to modern women. Everyone does shit for them, so they're never used to using their own thoughts to do anything. Literally overgrown children.
Lincoln Jenkins
How often do you see eachother?
James Powell
maybe 4 times a week on average
Caleb Lewis
Yes, I even like driving. I do drive with a heavy foot and get shit fuel mileage because of it though.
If SHE had a car it might have been possible, you know I go to her a couple of times per week, she comes to me a couple of times per week, or maybe we meet in the middle if possible, that sort of thing.
But me being expected to drive 40 mins each way 3+ times per week? I'd have to be pretty convinced of my liking the girl to bother.
Isaiah Gray
Reread op, he drives almost an hour and a half almost every day and ur worried?
He's the one who should be worried dear lord
Jeremiah Lee
No I'm not that bad my clingyness is something I've had to work on but i'm not perfect and that's why I am asking here to see if it's me just being clingy. I am just used to someone being there for me always. I don't have parents anymore, I get lonely. So you don't think it's desperate if I try to see him even if he hints at not?
Brandon Gomez
>4 times per week at the start of a relationship and you want more
Are you fucking retarded?
You don't live together and you're just starting out. Normally I would expect to spend more time with a person the longer the relationship had gone on.
Kind of like how your first few dates with a person are likely over the course of 2-4 weeks, with frequency increasing as you get more into each other. Relationships are built steadily and leaping into seeing each other almost every day is retarded. 4 times per week is more than enough.
Just because you have nothing else to occupy your brain or time does not mean it's the same for him. Literally grow up.
Jonathan Wood
If he tells you he has other plans and you insist on seeing him that yeah, it's desperate. Give him some space and learn some emotional self-reliance
Kevin Brooks
I'm not sure about you financial situation but from the given info I'm going to estimate that it costs him roughly 7-10 dollars in gas money for the round trip to see you so you are basically asking him to spend $35~ on gas every week to see you and it's not enough x_x
Ryder Thompson
If he hints not don't push lol
Camden Williams
Oh really user? I genuinely thought it was the other way around that you see each other more at first because it's hot and fresh then less as it goes on?
Jackson King
>So you don't think it's desperate if I try to see him even if he hints at not? This is the kind of shit that will get you dumped.
People need time alone and time to spend with their other friends. You have less claim on him than his friends of longer standing do and behaving like you need to see him every day or you'll die is the biggest turn off.
Asher Lopez
Okay, so you are retarded.
Is my example wrong? Your first few dates are spread out over a matter of weeks, and then you go out together more often, a couple of times every week mostly on the weekends, and then you increase the number of days to include weekdays and so on and so forth.
What you're thinking of is that the passion is at its most acute early on and then wanes/tempers as the relationship progresses, but by no means would you be seeing someone less often the longer you're together. I don't even know where you get that idea from since you say you've lived with boyfriends before, surely it should be apparent that the progression of a normal relationship involves living together somewhere down the line, until which point you don't see each other every day.
Kevin Hill
well with my ex that i lived with even in the beginning I got to see him a lot because we lived somewhat close so I don't know actually.
Can you guys give me a healthy range for what I should be okay with as far as frequency for what is normal in the first 3 months? I don't want to be a turnoff like everyone is saying.
