Accepting intimate loneliness

Lack of experience makes you feel inadequate about yourself, which leads to failing even simple conversations with a person you like, and you lack experience because of that. You're trapped my boy, getting an escort might help you to escape it.

Feels like no matter how hard you try it only makes things worse? Sounds like my problem. The thing is we need open just a little bit not too much. That middle ground where everyone else can easily find. Whats worse is it feels like there are those who mock people like us to keep us down.

I'm like you OP but nearly 27, it also used to bother me and I would think about and stress about my ineptitude at least once a day.

But somehow over the last 2 or so years I have made peace with my lack of social life and it doesn't bother me any more. Where I used to go out or be in a social situation and stress about appearing to be alone, now I can stand in a room full of partying people and feel nothing. Almost get a thrill even, my aura of silence seems to threaten some people so I own it and make it mine, make everyone else feel awkward. Not that any of this helps you.

Either you have to make changes to get to where you think you want to be socially - but at this stage in your life (like mine) this is unlikely. Or you accept what you are, this is your life, and just roll with it. Learn to be comfortable with your own company and nothing else and all the other stress goes away. This is easier if you have some hobby, skill or work that you are well practiced in and can have some sense of achievement over. You don't have to change yourself to suit someone else's expectations of what a "normal" person is. They're just as clueless as you about what normal is and this is your version of normal.

But no one wants to do that. Its like dealing with the retarded child. No one wants him but you have to find someone to love him.

I think you're fooling yourself. You're going to wake up one day realizing how pointless a lonely life is and you have a risk of doing something stupid when this happens.
I was in the same kind of mindset before and then I realized that I actually given up on having a happy life, even though I was convinced before I was just happy to be alone.

So now I'm doing everything in my power to keep improving myself, and I started seeing a therapist.

It isn't pointless if you don't feel lonely. That being said, I am like you.

You are afraid she will find out your secrets and tell everyone about it. You are afraid of betrayal since all the people you let in betrayed you one way or another.

You and I trust people but got the shit end of society and now you and I are used for cruel jokes and underhanded rumors.
When people call others out on such behaivor they shrug saying, "its just user who cares." Like you arent even real. I actually had that happen to me on multiple occasions, even by some people I called friends. I even had people tell me to my face I look like the type a person deserves a punch in the face.
Like I did something wrong and I dont know what it is. Why are we constantly being punished for just being alive?

Lies that retarded manchildren like the general populace of Jow Forums believe. Don't fall for it, OP.

Feeling lonely is not a choice. You can't just decide to stop feeling lonely when you're alone.

Maybe you have this quality in you and in this case that's good for you but I suspect you're just artificially suppressing your feeling of loneliness by not confronting it and it will come back to you one day in a bad way.

I think it's worse, since a person with some retardation cannot help himself and have little or no chance of improvement. While these guys are perfectly healthy and their only excuse is "It's too late for me to change", while in reality they have most of their life in front of them.

No, but you can change yourself so you are happy with your own company and realize you don't need other people, which would cause you to stop being lonely.

But they live in a state where they are ignorant of it all. We know something is wrong and no matter how hard we try to fix it people wont give us a chance.

Also I said I was like the person I was responding to, who said they were trying to get better, so work on your reading comprehension

Yeah, it's a fucked up state of mind, perhaps they are beyond help

>we try to fix it people wont give us a chance

And what would be your magic solution Einstein? Seeing a hooker? Don't you think that if it was that simple we would have figured it out in 10 years? As I said I already had sex and this is not the issue.

I just feel the world isnt against me, its more like the world just likes to shit on me. Ever since i moved to LA i noticed all the hypocrits here. Especailly the sjw crowd. They were the bullies and now its popular tp hide how much of a bully they are were by pointing out other people's bullying. When some one who actually is suffering and doesnt fit their stereotype, the sjw here in la lie just as much as their opposition.

In your case, the solution is to get the fuck over yourself and just try. Don't act like a fucking pussy and actually deal with the fact that you could be hurt, be hurt, then KEEP GOING

Who saod anything about sex? All that is needed is a person who will be that homie. Thats it. That friend who is a true friend you can trust and will forgive your mistakes because he or she knows how inexperienced you are.

Clearly you're doing sex wrong.
Faggot

Really a friend is what i am looking for in a relationship, a girl i can trust and help me in my time of need. Because i am used to being abandoned and treated badly and often times people accuse me of never going through that same thing I have been thrpigh thousands of times.

>muhh sex is the only thing in a relationship

underage?

Problem is girls dont want to be friends with someone inexperienced. They want someone to be more experienced than them. At least this is how I see it.

Maybe the solution is to get rejected enough to have intuitive experience of what girls don't like in you and then being able to hide these parameters during the first dates. Then you incrementally go further in the relationships thanks to your new skills, and you keep trying, by accepting that the pain of rejection is a necessary evil.

>DnD

Not him, but where I am it's basically cool people and hipsters. I think turbo-autists here have been driven to extinction.

You don't need experience if you are smart enough to predict how others will act and notice things about them that will allow you to act more experienced. I can trip up a girl about a decade older than me despite her having more experience in everything when compared to me because I know her well enough to do so.

The problem with those mistakes is you are supposed to learn from them but the bigger problem is you dont know you made them in the first place.
There is no one there to tell you you did something wrong.

Really? The groups I have been to have been full of fellow awkward nerds like me.

From my experience that just makes people hate you worse. The goal is to make friends not to alienate them.

You're probably in America and probably have a group that you've known before geekdom became mainstream.

You only find out when you fuck up long after and most of the time people especially women wont tell you where you are fucking up and just leave or start avoiding you all of a sudden. Its like they feel bad but dont want to bother helping you.

>pain of rejection is a necessary evil.
Part of the problem is that OP is 25, he should have had those lessons years ago.

I give useful advice that makes me like them more because I keep them from being dumb and I am nice about it, which they appreciate it. IF you act like a condescending ass and insist you are right without listening to them, then yes this is true. Also if the people you are dealing with are arrogant assholes who assume they are god/ people with such low self esteem that they can't deal with criticism then this is also true, but one is your fault and the other is that the people aren't worth your time.

I am 20 and started two years ago.

It is in america though

Seems like everyone makes an excuse to just be mean to me. I dont get it.

Then stand up for yourself and tell them to fuck off, then go find a better friend.

>20
Who the fuck are you to be giving advice to something you know nothing of then?

Oh I do but the entire group of their friends turn on me and then basically make me look like the bad guy.

just because he's younger doesn't really mean hes wrong, you're the one acting like a 15 y.o. faggot.

>You don't need experience if you are smart enough to predict how others will act and notice things about them that will allow you to act more experienced.

If there is one thing I know it's that acting that way make you look like an awkward fuck. When you put on a mask it shows, believe me.
I can spot immediately when people try to act experimented when they're not and usually they end up being considered by a pathetic loser by everybody.

I am autistic and have mild psychosis, asshole, yet I have managed to overcome it, partially by doing the thing I suggested. But hey, I just have two of the exact same issues as op, so I couldn't POSSIBLY understand, right?

>considered by a pathetic loser
considered to be*

You have to blend the mask with who you really are and not lie about your experience. I haven't lied to any of my friends, I am just brutally honest and right.

I'm sorry but it is obvious you're incredibly naive about relationships. If you were able to have partners lucky you but I doubt you ever had a long term relationship.
Pretending to be someone else when dating is the exact opposite of what people should do when dating.

What happened with being genuinely interested in person you talk to?

There's a big fucking difference between 20 and 25+.

You're still considered incomplete at 20, autistic or not, you have social immunity to be a complete moron until your late 20s. You have no real responsibilities and you are at peak health. You'll never be this young and this free again.

If you tell yourself you are pretty, you will believe you are and it will show, which can make you prettier to other people. If I act confidently, but don't lie about anything, especially about my life and how I feel, then eventually that will become me. And it isn't a significant change. Same thing with your experience. If you substitute experience with understanding, being honest that you can be wrong in a non depressingly self deprecating way, then you can get by without it until you have some.

>it until you have some.

But the goal is not just sex when you're older than 20yo dude... The issue is that you're confusing casual sex with relationships.

I have rent, car insurance and repair, college, and medical insurance to pay as well as a full time job. I have no room to be a moron otherwise I will be homeless, so no I don't have any social immunity.

No I am not. I am talking about experience in a year long relationship that I got despite not having any to start out with. I am currently single, but I don't have time for someone else right now.

I bet when you are 27 you'll be in the same spot than these guys...
Your immaturity is obvious.

Thanks troll. I appreciate your trolliness. Now fuck off.

Do you know what inertia is?

I'm 28 and it's too bad you can't see the world as I see it, you would see yourself in a whole new way.
You have time to mature and it's fine but believe me your tips are invalid and misleading.

The tendency for an object in motion to stay in motion, and an object at rest to stay at rest. This is going where?

His tips are invalid and misleading for older anons.

They work for me, that is all I have claimed.

Indeed. And since all the people that asked advice here were a lot older...

OP is Brandon

Attached: 5F0DC783-B2B0-4A79-B799-F453232E9D2A.png (748x423, 564K)

How is going to a dnd session, which often has people and girls who are a bit socially inept, invalid for an older user? Seems like a great way to meet someone who would be willing to give you a chance no matter your age or gain more social experience regardless.

Leave Brandon alone, he's struggling, and haven't found a healthy way to cope with things, but that doesn't mean we should make fun of him.

what he says only replace "dnd" with dance lessons/clubs/group meetings/etc

He has posted the same thread almost every day for a decade

This isn’t normal

He may even have posted more threads than we are aware of, since he probably doesn’t post his pic and age/personal info in every thread

It's so much about the dnd thing, it's more about this :
>You don't need experience if you are smart enough to predict how others will act and notice things about them that will allow you to act more experienced.

This is misleading because if you act this way you won't find yourself in a meaningful relationship. Maybe you can get a girl that is confused about herself and it will give you some kind of social respectability but what kind of relationship is that if the partners are lying to each others.
You shouldn't hide your inexperience, but rather find someone willing to accept it.

The thing is he lives in a bubble of people he wants to be around. Problem is that bubble wont last. He will soon find where his friends moved on to other lives and find out truths being kept from him. Not only that he is probably lying about everything he is telling us because "he is online you can believe him or not you cant prove that he is lying" kind of thing

see
Replace some with experience. Especially note this statement:
>If I act confidently, but don't lie about anything, especially about my life and how I feel, then eventually that will become me.
See how I said don't lie?

But it doesn't matter if you don't tell an explicit lies. You're not being yourself and acting like yourself would be in a particular situation, so you're lying about your personality in a way...
The girl is not choosing you only for what you say but also because of how you act with her. So how do you think she will feel when she will eventually find out that the way you acted at first with her was not the real you.
Unless you want to keep the mask until you die?

Unless you want to become the mask. The key is choosing someone you could be, that still represents you, and then changing yourself so you are still that person. This isn't any different than someone saying "I can get into better shape," acting like it, and then getting fit.

Besides people act differently when they first start dating anyway. It might take months to get your partner to feel comfortable enough to be ok with letting all of their inner feelings and anxieties to show.

>Unless you want to become the mask
ok obviously you still don't accept yourself and want to be someone else. One day you will realize it is the first step to happiness.
And btw I'm not saying that something is not right with you, plenty of 20 yo are like you are.
I just have an issue with you giving advice to people that are much more advanced in life that you are.

That's just simple self improvement. Example: you start to go to gym and one month later you've gained a miniscule amount of muscle, so you start acting like a buff dude even tho ur still a twink

Okay first of all you don't understand what I am saying because you seem to think that I am saying change everything about yourself. No, I have done this and I am the same person as before, just more experienced, which I got due to being perceptive and letting that carry me through what I needed it to, as well as more confident and happier. Also I am glad to know that advice is unwelcome to anything older than you. Never give advice or suggest the government is changed in any way pal, because at least in america, it is probably run by people at least a decade older than you.

Try "you act like you aren't a fat weak faggot" instead.

Well usually the advice of arrogant teens who think they got it all figured out are not very welcomed in political debate.

>I haven't lied to any of my friends, I am just brutally honest and right
Try to say that in real life. People will either cringe silently or openly laugh at you. You lack humility, you don't see that?

You didn't refute my point. How does my point about age not apply? Also, I don't say shit like that in real life because real life actually matters and this is an image board where I will never see any of you, so it doesn't matter what I say or what you guys think of me. It is the same reason that people call other people niggers, tell others to kill themselves, or say other stupid af shit. Besides what happened to accepting yourself? I ought not to change any of this if I accept myself because to do otherwise would be to lie to the person I might be with in the future. Please, at least be self consistent.

I'm and >How is going to a dnd session, blah blah blah,
You're too young understand that MtG, DnD, TCG, tabletop gaming and most, if not all, geek/nerd related shit are noe in the realm of the mainstream. Unless OP has roots in those communities from before he will not be able to enter them at any meaningful level.

I don't think you realise how much changes at 25 (and t b h OP fucked himself over since he's part of the gen where geek became cool). At 20 you can still be socially retarded without much detriment.

Thanks for identifying yourself, I really appreciate it. Honestly, I don't understand how much changes at 25 because I haven't been 25. I also don't know how much live rpg gaming has changed because of similar reasons but I don't understand how it becoming mainstream changes anything about what I said or why it matters how old you are when it comes to being socially retarded. Doctor who is mainstream and there are plenty of socially awkward, nerdy people who watch it. I would appreciate it if you could explain why these things matter.

Let me change one thing in that. Why it matters how old you are at 20 and above.

I've already told you and no matter how much I break it down for you, you're not going to accept either through some teenage level of arrogance or lack of experience to understand the position.

I'll try again: You are young, meaning nothing for you is set, nobody has any real expectations of you, flaws in your character can be forgiven/moulded, responsibilities are few and far between, mistakes can be made and recovered from with relative ease, you are at peak health. You'll never be this young and free again.

In response to the geek thing, again you can't understand this cos you (and to some degree, OP) were born into a generation where geek is mainstream and there are multitudes of places to go and meet other geeks.
>Doctor who is mainstream and there are plenty of socially awkward, nerdy people who watch it
Everybody's a geek now, and the new generation of geeks, including you, are part of the mainstream or at least will be equipped with the tools to be part of the mainstream, since everyone now has a common interest/hobby where you can develop social skills around.
OP and older anons who grew up as geeks in isolation without roots in those communities cannot really enter geekdom at a meaningful level, since their knowledge of all this niche shit is basically in the public domain now and their social skills, or lack of, will prevent them from mingling with the current geekdom.

Having some socially successful people doctor your persona together doesn’t sound like something that would necessarily work. I think your therapist is right in that you have to grow yourself.

I know how you feel. It’s not easy, but thankfully you’re not the only odd or spergy person in existence.

Okay, I am living on the knife's edge. I have to pay for literally everything and I have no one helping me. I have no scholarships, no government money, very little savings right now, and a car with a blown head gasket which might die soon which will fuck me if it does, causing me to most likely lose my job because I can't get there, stop me from paying my rent, and fuck up my college for at least a semester (possibly more if I end up homeless, possibly forever if this happens) which means goodbye decent degree and hello shit jobs for the foreseeable future after I stop being fucking homeless, not to mention the loss of my fucking psych meds which would drive me right over the fucking cliff and almost ensure my homelessness for a long ass time if it lasts long enough. I am even considering looking for a second job and dropping college this semester so I can be sure that shit doesn't go downhill forever. I mean, fuck dude. No expectations, right? I am so definitely free. Also, none of the rest of the shit you said matters. All they have to do is walk into a convention and join a game of werewolf. Everyone will accept them, no one will care, and suddenly they could make friends and get into this generation of geek's world.

I'm exactly like you and got really depressed when I finally understood the seriousness of my situation. Finding a way to hop in the moving train of life is going to be extremely difficult if not impossible at this point. I wish my parents had forced me out of my room and into the real life when I was still in the age where everyone else had equal experiences.

Now I'm decade late on everything and it shows.

Typical teenagers have more life experience than I have.

If I wasn't feeling a bit bad about you I would mock the fact that your solution to the problems of 27yo incels is to dress themselves in werewolf and send them play a game with a group of manchildren.

You seem to have a lot of preconceived ideas. None of them said they had issues getting friends.

Just kill yourself you faggot. GIRLS go to these things to. I know plenty so acting like it is only ever guys shows how little you fucking know. You go there, you make friends with a GIRL, with similar interests as you and you see where it goes. You do this repeatedly until you get the hang of it because who gives a single solitary fuck what some random bitch at a convention thinks of you. My fucking god, how can you be this dumb?

Calm down kiddo. Why don't you go play hide and seek while grown ups are talking?

>refuses to refute me because I have already ruined his arguments so he resorts to being a massive faggot

It's unfortunate I've caused a fight here. But meetups and events haven't turned out very well. Usually I'm brushed off and can't get into a group, and being alone in a corner fuckin sucks. I've never clicked with anyone well and didn't have many friends most of school, and none When I was in special education. None nowadays, as well.

Any good coping tips? I just don't wanna feel bad about this anymore. I see a lot of recurring advice that never turns out well once attempted.

Like I said, you're not going to accept this breakdown.

I mean, you're so convinced that your own experiences can be applied to everyone and that age apparently plays no part in it.