Evaluating my circle of friends

>Also what's wrong with the Indian?
In his own words, he described life on a reservation as "The worst stereotypes of every other ethnicity rolled into one; The gambling problems of Asians, the violent crime of blacks, the disorganized crime of Hispanics and the alcoholism and hard drugs of rednecks"

I feel terrible for all of them and I try to support them as best as I can, but there is no denying it's taken a toll on their well beings substantially and they don't always handle it the best way nor suppress the urge to take it out on somebody or something

It really can though?

I taught a girl once who'd been an abuse victim. She bullied another girl so viciously that we had to get police involved.

No one ever blamed her for her abuse, but I'd be lying if I said she wasn't a good example of how trauma can twist a person if left unchecked.

>gotta love how you just assume OP is blaming people for anything
>"i'm better than my friends and here's why"

I feel you dude. It's fucking exhausting being the straight man amongst a bunch of dysfunctional wrecks.

Also, you're an extremely shitty friend for judging someome for being a victim of domestic violence. Drug addiction, rape, and abuse are all really personal issues that your friends and girlfriend felt comfortable enough opening up to you about, trusting you not to judge them for said things, and here you are using those things to pat yourself on the back for not having to deal with them at all.

You sound like a total narcissist, your girlfriend and friends deserve better.

You already knew that the world was fucked. That happens when you become a teenager. You just didn't know how actually fucked it is. And for the record, being a victim of rape or domestic violence isn't a character flaw.
I invite you to genuinely look at what a shitty person you've been in the past and probably still are at times. Eventually you'll realize that no one is 100% good and that people can be more than their worst traits.

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being a narcissist =/= blaming people for being x

Dude, stop blaming him for not wanting to be around damaged neurotic wrecks. I put up with that shit for way too long before I actually went out and found people that have their shit together and don't have some sort of trauma hanging over their heads

not that user, but
it's one thing to say "i don't wanna be around these people" and "i'm a better person because i didn't get abused"

I mean, he could be? If you want to really drill down, if that girl has antisocial or neurotic tendencies as a direct result of what happened to her, yes, he could absolutely say that and be objectively right about it. Hokey behaviors aren't excused because of a tragic backstory.

Sounds like you're from New Mexico, probably Albuquerque. That's all. That's par for the course over there.

>It's fucking exhausting being the straight man amongst a bunch of dysfunctional wrecks.
Am I myself a Dysfunctional wreck? Is that why these people are my friends? Seems every new circle I get into, I end up with a similar crowd

Read this post you fucking asshole

>judging
Fuck off, you prissy cunt. Have you never been around seriously damaged people for prolonged periods? I have no intention to walk out on any of them but don't think for a second that just because they're are victims automatically means they are saints who themselves can do no wrong. I've seen all of them perpetuate the cycle before on more than one occasion and some of them I refuse to even spend one on one for fear of my own safety.

>if that girl has antisocial or neurotic tendencies as a direct result of what happened to her
She absolutely does but I love her so I'm with her anyway

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Maybe you concentrate too much on their flaws that you miss their actual qualities and good sides, maybe you surround yourself with people you think are lower so you can feel better about yourself, or you are just flat out the same level and just narcissistic. The variaty of types of people are interesting because some are total scum while others seem to be just caught up in things that go over their power

>Albuquerque
nope, Las Vegas

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your girlfriend is a bad person because she’s a rape victim

See
She unironically could be.

It says that you don’t mind being surrounded by losers and you’ll never get ahead in life.

I uNoRiNiCaLly know that, but it shows a lot about OP’s attitude. Why is he dating someone he considers a bad person in the first place? Most people are the product of their company. I doubt OP is a saint. Someone saying they’re an especially good person is actually a major red flag.

Reading more into the thread I think it's clear that you are horribly pessimistic and negative with viewing people.
>no matter where I go everyone seems shitty and wrecked, I wonder why?!
You concentrate on flaws and bad things way too much.
for what reason I don't know.
The second most likely thing is that you are equally "bad".

I'm well aware that I'm not a saint and I regret typing the word 'best' in the op in my hasty stress. Looking back, I wish I would have typed 'the least awful person I know' instead but oh well

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I can’t advise you on your girlfriend based on a two-word summary, but it sounds like your other friends are flat-out bad people. Obviously, it’s better to live in accordance with your values. What’s holding you back?

>Reading more into the thread I think it's clear that you are horribly pessimistic and negative with viewing people.
>You concentrate on flaws and bad things way too much.
>for what reason I don't know.
I don't know either. I can't tell if I've always been this bitter about my situation or if it's because every single day I'm trying to help somebody I know from getting into a fight, or smashing up their own apartment, or quitting their job of some petty shit or saying they want to kill themselves or getting back into drugs or some kind of emotional meltdown

>The second most likely thing is that you are equally "bad".
That's kind of been eating at the back of my mind since I realized this all earlier today

>What’s holding you back?
I don't know. I guess just being oblivious to my situation or hesitating to make critical evaluations until after the shit hit the fan.
>Obviously, it’s better to live in accordance with your values
I've never really thought my values out. I thought "Don't be a cunt" was simple enough for most people to live by but I guess not

I think invalues are instilled in us by our upbringing, our life experiences, and the people we surround ourselves with. It sounds like you’re stuck in a nihilistic rut where you neglect your values and so you’ve attracted similar people. Maybe if you start connecting with your personality, instead of diluting it and simply tolerating people, you’ll be able to reconnect with what is important to you in life.

Just a theory.

Would you care to expand upon this? I'm intrigued

What do you want to know?

Can you elaborate on these?
>It sounds like you’re stuck in a nihilistic rut where you neglect your values and so you’ve attracted similar people.
>Maybe if you start connecting with your personality, instead of diluting it and simply tolerating people, you’ll be able to reconnect with what is important to you in life.
Or were those just the bottom line?

Again, this is just a theory, and I’m not trying to compare you to anyone else.

Maybe when you know that a person cheats on their spouse and encourages other people to cheat, considering this behavior is not in accordance with your values, you can become repulsed and repelled by the person instead of befriending them and doing them favors.

It seems like you’re starting to wake up to some facts you never considered before. You said the fact that Cheating Friend No. 2 was so prolific and unapologetic about his cheating surprised you. Now you’re contemplating how you feel about these things.

Lots of people compromise on their values all the time. Were you brought up (or taught by life experience) to believe “no harm no foul”, or do you believe “it’s almost always important to do the right thing”? In action, these are conflicting values.

So question is: what’s important to you, and how important is it?

Another thing, you could make a living off prosecuting sex offenders or catching cheaters. You can use perspective to your advantage. Those are the later stanges of change, though. First you’d need to free yourself from the cycle of tolerating shit you consider wrong.

It says you need to learn to tell them to fuck off, and develop better relationships with other people, your family and/or yourself.

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