I am terrible with girls. I am 29 and had just one gf for 2 years. She was also only girl I ever had sex with too. Its 2 and half years since we broke up. Problem is, it was her who made the first move. I cant get a girl or even a date. I just get rejected, ghosted or even stood up every time. It got to a point where i just stopped trying to save myself from repeated dissapointment. Thing is I am definetly not hideous, a little skinny, but tall and with beard. I got like 6-8/10 on /soc and that was even before the beard. I can talk to people i know well no problem, its the strangers I have trouble with. I dont want to stay alone for the rest of my life so I made account on dating site. Again. To my surprise I got few matches. Problem is that I know that just saying Hi or How are you will just get me ghosted, so I need help with getting girls interested from the beginning, to get them to go on a date with me.
How to talk to girls on dating sites
I can tell you right off the bat that the majority of people in general tend to be attracted to confidence. Not cockiness. Confidence. Someone who seems to know who they are and have their shit together in one bag.
I get that you are some what "new" to the dating game, but the only way you're going to get better is by trial and error. You're going to have to accept that you're going to fail. This is a fact that everyone on this planet deals with. We all get rejected once in a while.
The trick is to learn from it. Learn who you are, what you want in life and act on it. Worry about building your world and I promise your moon and stars will gravitate to it on their own.
Man, I would give you detailed pointers but I learned by trying and failing a lot. So go ahead and do that.
Some general tips though: don't spill your spaghetti or sperg out, don't meme, don't be uber-mysterious, don't write a wall of text, keep it light, ask something about them, message lots of girls, send it and forget it, (majority of girls won't reply but some will).
when you get replies you string them along for awhile, after a few messages ask about their interest, then general activities they enjoy, parts of town that are easy for them to get to, then ask if they're free some time either later that week or the following week. if they ghost you it's acceptable to send one follow up message after that don't bother.
just keep at it man, you'll learn a lot more by doing than by asking.
I seriously need help as well. Especially with openers. How would you even start a convo with this?
She is on there to fuck. Just say "hi, tits much?"
Or "hi! Im totally tits to meet you!"
you bein serious?
What the fuck you think bro? She is looking to get her husband with a picture that is 70% her tits? The least you can do is make it funny and maybe she will bang out for your humor. Just say "Hello, tits a pleasure to meet you" but then correct yourself with "its" and put a funny emoji next to it.
Then compliment her tits
there isn't a woman in the world who would laugh at that shit... right?
Is she in LA? There are soul clubs here. I sometimed go to a monthly club that plays 60s-70s soul. If you live in a big city, there are probably similar clubs.
Drink, dance, dance with her, get romantic.
Or
>Wow, you have a fantastic pair of great, big, beautiful....eyes.
I like this guy
fort worth... there ain't shit around here
Sure she would. How conservative does this chick look to you? Women love to have fun. Learn to have fun with dating and online dating. Then the girls will want to know more by you.
The worst case scenario, you dont get a response from titzilla. The best case,? Yeah baaaby!
I don't care about offending her or anything, I just don't want to look like a retard by starting off with a tits joke
Nah, dont worry about it. Its definitely what I would do.
do you get laid a lot?
...
I did when I was online. Then I got a girlfriend from it. I think it's good because you get a lot of forced exposure and and compare a lot of people.
fuck it, ill give it a shot
Now you have the mindset. You should use your outline dating to try stuff you normally wouldn't. You need to post an update on here if she responds though.
got a response pretty much immediately
my experience is that in online dating, prolly a lot like irl, it literally doesnt matter what you say in your msg. you can type out a whole fucking novel, or just come up with a simple "hi". If they find you hot, especially if youre using tinder, they'll reply and engage in a conversation. if not, you might as well save your time.
so... what now?
OP here, thanks for the advice guys. I gues you are right, its just trial and error. But the main problem for me is how to even start, like how the hell should I approach or start conversation with someone I know nothing about, just simple Hi or How are you doesnt lead anywhere most of the time...
Comment on a picture or bio. Literally all you can do
Ok, but what about IRL? Lets say there is girl at party that smiles back at me when I smile at her, how to approach her? How to start?
Go over and ask her if she's enjoying the party.