I am from Japan, I may have a crush on a white girl

Ask her out to get coffee or tea. White women know what this means. You don’t even have to call it a date. That’s how we roll in America.

I know but that is the main reason why I don't want to ask her out bc I feel like it is too obvious.

American don't approach that much usually? Like a creep? I know some girls find it passionate. That is the thing. But I don't want her to hate me.

This happened to me as well OP. Met this really nice girl but I was too scared to ask her out. We texted each other for some time and after a while, we stopped talking so much as we did in the first two weeks. Also I just found out she has a bf now. So man up and ask her out or you'll lose her

Omg so I need to try??

But what do American people think if I asked her out but rejected.
Do they usually think that I'm pathetic or just it is natural to think that not that attractive Asian man getting interested in a white smart nice girl?

And wondering if I should ask her if she has a bf.

Do you guys think I should send this?

I have been wondering if I am bothering you. I know you are busy. And if I can grab coffee or something sometimes. I usually need to study a lot but I really want to know about you more.

don't date a western woman, they are vipers

Omg lol you guys lol A lot of people say that I shouldn't date western women.

But I have never even had a good relationship btw Japanese..... I have never even kissed a Japanese girl....

If she rejects you, just move on. You wouldn't the first guy who gets rejected. It's a normal thing. It won't affect your image at all, and moreover you shouldn't give a shit anyway. At least you will know for certain how things are between you and her

I think you are true.
It is not like she is gotta start hating me if I asked her out anyways. If she did she even didn't like me in first place.

NO!!

That kind of message screams insecurity.I don’t know what Japanese women are like, but here in America,confidence is the key.

Sending her that message is admitting that you’re scared of her, or scared about the idea of failing.Show her that you CAN be a good,strong, and confident man and not a scared little boy.

People in general,and especially women DO NOT like insecurities. Whether it’s romantic or not.

Confidence attracts partners,lovers,friends,business associates.

Thank you. I know that. I think I am too insecure lol

I was about to send this. But I think I shouldn't. Mmm... like to be confident? But not too much?

I have been wondering if I am bothering you. Actually I was about to ask you if we can grab coffee or something. I usually need to study a lot but I really want to know about you more. I know you are too good to spend time on me though.

Ok.... Let me think again....

Actually, I was wondering if we can grab coffee sometimes together. I know we are busy. But I want to know about you more.

Exactly. But watch what you're writing to her though. Just make sure the message is straight to the point. Just say hi and then tell her you like her and you'd like to go out with her to grab a coffee. Don't overthink things.

Good luck OP

No,user. Still way too insecure, try to be more casual.

“Hey there,are you free this Saturday? Let me treat you to coffee and [fun activity in your prefecture]
What do ya say?”

Be confident,give her a yes or no question, pretend that no matter what she says, it does not matter and you will be okay with either answer

Omg that sounds so casual and natural. Omg does that work usually??

Idk.... This may works??
If she said no.... Probably I can ask her different date?

I can't really come up with anything to entertain hee.... But probably talking about books?
She is majoring in English and she likes to read.

Btw. We both live on campus and don't have a car. That will be a big deal?

That doesn’t matter. You’re both broke college students and you’re in Japan. Your train stations are more than good enough.

That’s the thing, it works in the sense that you will get a “ yes or no” response. When it comes to asking women out, the reality is that unless you’re ridiculously good looking, are known to be rich, or have a big dick, the only thing that you can offer women at first glance is a well groomed and confident adult.

If she says “no” you can just say something like “that’s too bad,we could’ve had a great time!but hey, if you get bored,the offer is on the table.”

If she says yes, just go to a major city,walk around, and get to know her.Try new things that you see while walking by, it doesn’t matter if you’re good at them or not. Just because she’s majoring in english,doesn’t mean that all that she wants to talk about are books. She’s a person with interests, hobbies, stories, and everything else.

You're way too concerned with living up to this girl. This isn't a great mentality to go with, when dealing with American women.

Since you seem dead set, you're going to have to potentially adjust your mindset.

Unless this girl is super into Japanese culture, your concern for entertaining her, living up to her standards, etc. is going to be a turn off.
Meeting up is a casual chance to get to know her, and see if YOU like HER. Don't try to prove yourself to her, as if her time and company is more valuable than yours.

Lol

This texts absolutely seem you are so confident lol

Mmm... Ok... if she said no.... I will tell her something like that lol

Omg is that how America works??

Doesn't she gotta say, only you could have had a good time or something?? Omg I overthink a lot. If she did that is how she really is. right??

I am going to have to try.

Btw this is not in Japan. And she is not interested in Japanese culture at all.

This is a small town with huge lands in the states.

Can you teach me Japanese? I want to make a trip to Japan but most than sure that I'll die midways.

I can. My most priority is on this girl for now though lol

It’s not just how it works in america,Russia,France,Switzerland,it doesn’t matter. In every relationship there is ultimately a dominant person and a submissive,sometimes that line is blurry or couples take turns being dominant. But SOMEONE always needs to be the leader. Be the bigger person and take charge

True. I usually became the person who's dominant. But after started dating one. Before that I am so humble or so shy usually.

Mmm... But I think she already knows what I am. So I kinda wonder if it is not creepy to act like an American dude suddenly.

I basically had a similar mindset as you, until I asked myself what these girls brought to the table that I didn't. I had a lot more success when I went into a date expecting them to hold up their end as well.

Then I'd go more casual and confident.
"When are you free to get coffee sometime?"
"Hey, want to get coffee sometime on [day/date]?"
If she she's busy and doesn't immediately suggest another time: "No problem. Let me know when you're free," and then move on until she sets a date/time.
If she says no: "No worries at all." Don't bother trying to convince her that she would have a great time. That rarely works. Just move on Japanbro.

And the thing is she doesn't text me back like the first day. So most likely she is not interested in me.
But I will bet on tonight.

Thank you. You are probably right. But I had another guy from somewhere else and kept asking him and girls usually didn't even give him a phone number or I doubt if this ever worked lol

You guys don't think the reason why she gave me the phone number was bc Im not like these appearing boys??
More boring but not harmful??

This is called safe in Japan though.

Do you guys think this sounds a bit better??
Do hou have any plans on this weekend? Actually I was about to ask you if we can grab coffee and talk about schools or books . I know we both are busy. But I really want to see you and talk again.

Come on, help a bro out.

Or probably this sounds more natural??

Actually, I was about to ask you if we can grab coffee in next the next few weekends? And talk about schools, tv shows, books. I know we both are busy. But I really want to see you and talk again.

You still sound like a puppy, stop that user.

>Do hou have any plans on this weekend? Actually I was about to ask you if we can grab coffee and talk about schools or books . I know we both are busy. But I really want to see you and talk again.

Change it to

Do hou have any plans on this weekend? How about we grab a coffee and get to know each other?

It’s that easy,stop using too many words.

I mean, you'd know her better than any of us would. However, I've never met an American girl who liked completely safe and boring guys, until they were in their 30's and ready to "settle down." I don't know Japanese women, but being too safe, ends up making you just a friend.

Japanbro that's still too much. I'll try to meet you somewhere in the middle here.
"Actually, do you want to grab a coffee this weekend? I'm pretty busy, and I'm sure you are too, but we should hang out sometime soon."

I know.... I use to much words to cover up my confidence. This should be more simple??

Tbh Idk why she even gave me the phone number.... Just couldn't make excuses to refuse??
She can't say no seeing one's face...??

*cover up that I don't have confidence.

Now I sent her the message. I don't even know if she is gotta reply but.... I will be ok lol
Thank you all. I will come back here tomorrow.

And if you guys have any questions about Japan. I will answer.

I have no questions, but I wish you the best of luck japanbro

Proud of you for trying

>Thank you all.
Good luck to you user

>White girls are trash, do not fall for the succubus
Best advice right here my nigga

Thank you you all. She hasn't been texting me yet.
But I will wait for someone to show up like her.

Ask her out on a date, whatever response comes out of it will give you peace of mind.
Perhaps she's not really interested in you in that way, not even to the point of a close person in her life. Maybe she is, but you will never know until you ask her out. Somewhat like quantum physics/Schroedingers meme felyne.

This right here. This man is as redpilled as they come.

Fobby short Japanese man falls for typical white college chick in the states.

I wish you all the best man, I just don't think the odds are very well in your favour.

Hope you at least fuck her man.

Thank you. I suppose she is going to say no or say that she was busy this weekend.
Or just ignore me.

But true. If I were a girl I don't wanna date someone like me lol
I am working on my personal stuff now.

Anyways, you guys helped me a lot. How to be positive, casual, get over and overcome stuff. And girls do like insecurities lol

The last breakup put me into huge sorrow. I feel better while I am awake. But when I am sleeping, my ex shows up and grudges me. I am still be in a hard time actually.

But I didn't get hurt that much like you all said.

I think I should have asked her out on that night when we were texting often. I least I am glad that I learned from this lesson.

vocaroo.com/i/s0BxjYGqxLwp

Thank you for voice reply. I am happy to hear this.

And this was typo that I typed he is smart but I meant to type she lol

I usually date someone who is insecure. But now I get it that I should work on my insecurities.
I stopped walking hunchback and try to talk people and don't try to be pity on myself.

I think I saw her walking with a dude holding a hand now.

And I am gotta just move on since wether if that was her or not she doesn't text me since last night.

Idk if that was her.... But she sent me that she went home from today through whole weekends.

Omg I started feeling better.
Because I am just trying but not scared even if she thinks that Im a creep.

It is more of like, it is normal to have a bf. And I can work on my own too.