Bon anniversaire fuckbois, I haven't been here for a few years now and I've come crawling back to part vent part seek advice so please, lend me your ears. TL;DR wat do about being in love with your GF but deeply wanting to fuck most girls you see/girls who flirt with you?
I am 23, have a stable job in the career I want to be in after achieving well at uni. I started lifting, got a very very cute and smart GF and although I don't go to the gym so much anymore I cycle a fair amount. I have a decent relationship with my family. For all accounts, I am a severe normie.
Here's the problem though: I could write this a whole bunch of ways but I am seriously attracted to women and their bodies, all of the time, and it's becoming an obsession. I am always staring at women's boobs, ass, thighs, cute faces etc and a lot of the time I don't even try to hide it because I like it when they know what I am doing. If I am at a party or club and my GF isn't there I will flirt heavily with girls who reciprocate. I ponder for long periods of time on how much I would love to hook up with these girls I meet, I think deeply of their bodies, how we would sneak away somewhere and fuck all night long, everything I would do to them.
I love my girlfriend very much. We have even been to a sex dungeon together on her suggestion, where I completely dominated her and gave her all hell for two days straight. I'm like a burning fire of sexual energy. I am starting to think that I am polyamorous, but the problem is that the 'amorous' part means 'love'... not lust, right? I feel like I would have A LOT of fun with Tinder.
My GF is in london right now staying overnight alone in a hotel where she will see her friends tomorrow. She sent a text saying she went to a bar, came back and is watching Netflix, and she isn't replying to my next text. Trusting that she is not with a man is hard. I cannot rule the possibility out entirely, and I only think this way because if I am constantly thinking about the bodies of other women, what would stop her from feeling that way also? But she is a good and beautiful lady and she would never do something like this to me. It is my shame alone that produces the paranoia... and also my previous relationship that ended with the girl cheating on me. We only get to see each other for a weekend every two weeks, and our time together is tense and fraught with issues where we can be insecure with each other and upset one another. I am starting to wonder if our relationship is a good one, and how I would identify this.
Coming at this another way, I frequently watch Jordan Peterson, Steven Crowder, Ben Shapiro etc (and not to make this political) they seem to communicate the inherent wisdom in not cheating, in trusting love over lust. Maybe all I mean to say is me controlling my lust is a pain to me like Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. Is the weight worth it? How do you know you are carrying the right weight on your shoulders? (Pic related, Altas holding the world while surrounded by nymphs it seems, I won't read into that too much).
>Jordan Peterson Had a crush on his wife since he was 11 and has been married for close to three decades >Steven Crowder Waited until marriage. Married for 6 years. >Ben Shapiro Waited until marriage. Married for 10 years.
Interesting. You seem to have pretty different values than the people you like.
Kevin Barnes
Well this is it really. I mean, for one, we dont rreeaallllyy know what these people were like behind close doors tho we can take a good guess. Also, I hold different 'values' but it isn't as if im proud of how I feel about all of these girls I meet or see. What I mean to ask is if the weight im trying to carry is right for me and if this is a wait that all men carry and find worth it in the end.
Henry Rivera
Yeah no, personality and attitude my dude.
You don't have the things required to a lasting loong ter fullfiling relationship like you seem you want
You might believe you want thar but your mind and body tell you otherwise. Which means your ideals crash with your beliefs actions and thoughts. Accept yourself. Accept you are not a bad person but you are one of those people who cannot have that kind of relationship. You either need to find someone willing to have an open relationship or change everything about you.
Grass is greener syndrome is the worst and you will get it regardless of setting and situation.
Noah Rodriguez
If this is the case, what are the feelings that I feel for my girlfriend? I can't stand the idea of her cheating on me or finding another man. Am I selfish? Flawed? What am I?
Just ask her if she is okay with you having FWBs or something
Ryan Nelson
>how to destroy your relationship in one easy step
Robert Flores
I feel like this would end the relationship, because then she would be allowed to have FWBs and right now I don't like that idea. Which is why I lean towards breaking up, but I feel like I would be throwing away a great opportunity to be with a beautiful girl.
It would centre on whether she would accept us going into an open relationship. I think we take each other more seriously than that. My god this is hard.
>If I am at a party or club and my GF isn't there I will flirt heavily with girls who reciprocate.
Bad. This part is particularly bad.
Joshua Green
Yes, I do not do anything like kissing, but I will flirt in speech, maybe lightly touch, dance closely with the girls. I get the intense desire to do much more but I hold myself back of course, being in a relationship.
You have to admit that’s still fucked up. How would your girlfriend feel if she knew? How would you feel if she was doing that with other guys?
Jayden Russell
Oh I never denied that it was fucked up... I get such strong impulses to act in such a way. I told two girls Thurs night that they were incredibly cute and had great bodies. And I did it like that because if I say it like that it isnt like hitting on a girl or trying to pull, its kind forward compliment. So I'm not expecting anything back, but if I don't say it I feel like im leaving my feelings unsaid which would eat at me for a few days after.
Is this grounds to just accept that I shouldn't be in a relationship? Maybe im holding onto my girlfriend and holding us both back.
You have crashing ideals and beliefs and actions and attitudes. You are human we all have cognitive dissonance over little stuff now yours seem to be specially big. This is the thing. You have a belief >I want a long term relationship with gf But, you are crashing it with this >I want to fuck other girls Beliefs are crashing with your needs. It is up to you to change your needs or your beliefs. Which one do you prefer? Which one do you think you can change? Accept who you are or suffer and change. If you don't work hard for something you want then you won't gain much satisfaction from it so choose.
Your gf or your needs. Be careful though because you could start having ill feeligs toward her because you want to cheat an can't and you could end up blaming her. (Like most of 4channers do to women) Accept who you are. Decide who you want to be. Try to change what you think can change. And if you belief you can't change and you really can't then accept that too. Never hurt a loved one. Never cheat on a loved one unless it is for their wellbeing. Never hurt yourself for others unless you want to save them. But everything depends om your beliefs man.
Connor Foster
I think you need Jesus or something
Jaxson Peterson
>Never cheat on a loved one unless it is for their wellbeing
Well the people you listed originally are all people of faith. Maybe it would provide you with the structure, guidance, and discipline that you need.
Joshua Richardson
I am not going to cheat on her. And I dont find the Office for National Statistics interesting at all.
Thanks for the big ol' reply, bud. You kind of leave me with the question I started with. What I have noticed tho is that recently ive become more impulsive. I never do any of the small or large things (buy stocks, produce artwork, update cv) that I tell myself I should do, I get tired after work and go on Jow Forums etc. I exercise less and Im more inclined to buy fast food instead of cook. I clean and tidy up much less too. I find it harder to wake early and sleep early. So feeling less inclined to plug in to the girlfriend thing, push down my 'needs', seems to add up. I feel like leaving my GF would be a step in the wrong direction in this sense. But who knows, what if it is the relationship that is causing me to drop off like this.
Carter Turner
Turning to religion? Never thought of that. I like the idea of the conservative religious life in some ways but it might not gel with the work life I want to live. But you raise a good point, I could ask this advice at church.
Levi Collins
>what if it is the relationship that is causing me to drop off like this.
Well write the pros and cons. At the end of the day people who believe they are happy are the ones that are happy as stupid as it may sound
