I'd just like to start this post by saying that I'm not from a western country, so there's going to be some cultural differences here and hope people are understanding. That aside, our marriage was arranged but more on that later.
My husband is a comic artist, he's very dedicated to it but I believe I'm the only one who actually knows it since he's actually working as an engineer right now. I've asked him if he was forced into doing studying that but he told me he was genuinely interested in engineering and prefers art as a "side thing".
What worries me is, he's practically working himself to death! He comes from 8 hours of work after barely eating anything and does art for another 7-8 hours holed up in his room and it's even worse on weekends where he easily spends like 13+ hours total. Finding him sleeping at his desk or so exhausted he can't focus enough to put food in his mouth at dinner time isn't even an uncommon occurrence, I just make sure he gets a bit of food in and help him to bed. It's unhealthy and it worries me, but he insists that it's something he has to do if he wants to meet the "deadlines" (in quotation because they're self-set since he isn't making anything published). I'm not an artist but I can tell his stuff is very good, I'm talking on-level with professionals doing super hero stuff, it's just that he's doing original stories.
From that, I kinda feel neglected by him, I understand he's working but we practically only see each other at meals and when we go to bed. I actually like him quite a bit and during the first month after the wedding (when we were travelling) I really felt close to him, but after we moved into his house the dynamic completely changed.
So here I am, really don't know how to handle this since I can tell that he's passionate for both his work and art but it's horrible seeing him like this while at the same time I really wish we had more of a relationship.
I should also mention that we have no financial problems, he's a very high earner as an engineer and even if we did I wouldn't mind getting a job to help. He doesn't make anything from the art, and if he does it's not much. There's no need for him to be working at this pace
Nolan Perez
How about you tell him you feel neglected?
Jordan Russell
OP, how long this has been going on? Was he like that before you moved in? I'd suggest you ask around what was your husband like before you moved in.
Carter Hall
Don't fucking interrupt him. Drive like this is incredibly rare and not a permanent thing. He WILL burn out eventually, but hopefully not before he completes whatever it is he's been pouring his soul into.
Juan Diaz
Talk to him and tell him exactly what you wrote here. >What worries me is, he's practically working himself to death! He comes from 8 hours of work after barely eating anything and does art for another 7-8 hours holed up in his room and it's even worse on weekends where he easily spends like 13+ hours total. >Finding him sleeping at his desk or so exhausted he can't focus enough to put food in his mouth at dinner time isn't even an uncommon occurrence, I just make sure he gets a bit of food in and help him to bed. >It's unhealthy and it worries me, but he insists that it's something he has to do if he wants to meet the "deadlines" (in quotation because they're self-set since he isn't making anything published). I'm not an artist but I can tell his stuff is very good, I'm talking on-level with professionals doing super hero stuff, it's just that he's doing original stories. >From that, I kinda feel neglected by him, I understand he's working but we practically only see each other at meals and when we go to bed. I actually like him quite a bit and during the first month after the wedding (when we were travelling) I really felt close to him, but after we moved into his house the dynamic completely changed. >So here I am, really don't know how to handle this since I can tell that he's passionate for both his work and art but it's horrible seeing him like this while at the same time I really wish we had more of a relationship.
Joseph Roberts
women are fucking blood sucking lifestealing demons guys, its never enough whatever you do, NEVER fucking enough
Jackson Russell
>I can tell that he's passionate for both his work and art but it's horrible seeing him like this while at the same time I really wish we had more of a relationship.
Maybe try and arrange one night a week for "romantic activities" where he takes the night off and doesn't draw.
Oliver Reed
Just tell him you feel neglected you stupid bitch
Jaxon Gomez
> Provides you with free money and free time to use as you wish > Asks nothing in return > Still is not enough
Learn to behave like a woman and be "in your place" for once. That is, support him in all the things he does. He does bring money to the house AND has to do certain things to feel fulfilled and not anhero. If he works till late bring him a sandwich, and some drinks, and give him a massage and a blow job, and quietly ask if he needs anything else. Whatever he tells you, be happy with it. If he tells you to fuck off, fuck off, if he tells you to stay, stay. He is creating, he is concentrated, how you dare steal to that from him? What kind of person are you?
tl:dr enjoy what you have
Jaxon Jackson
>how you dare steal to that from him? You're right but seek medical attention immediately you may be having a stroke.
Austin Diaz
It's good to have passions in life, but if you're going to neglect your partner, you shouldn't be in a relationship. I'm the same way, I get invested in things where I'm unable to think about anything else for weeks at a time and I know I wouldn't be able to invest enough time and love into a relationship.
Camden Flores
>incel logic Sorry to say, but a relationship means you actually need to spend time with eachother for it to work.
Zachary James
What about the figure of the muse? Yes, not all women can rise to the challenge, but some definitely can, and by doing so they make the whole creative process n times more powerful.
Yes, I know is not a roses garden, but not all relationships have to be boring normie stuff.
> B-but, he doesn't want to come to my mom's to eat. Fuck that, he is making art. ART.
It's a good thing to create, but clearly it's consuming all his free time to the point where he doesn't take care of himself. If he can't care for himself, what makes you think he can foster a close relationship with another person? Nobody is saying it's a bad thing in itself, but he is neglecting her and she is not happy with it. In fact, most people would not be happy with a relationship where you say 3 words to each other a day and then fuck off until it's time to sleep. At that point you are practically strangers.
Asher Hughes
Lots of pieces of shit on this thread.
Your feelings are important and they are valid. Talk to him about them. If he is unable to care about your happiness as much as you care about his, that's a huge problem. You are NOT being unreasonable if you ask for a chance to spend time together-- it should ideally be rewarding for BOTH of you.
Adam Garcia
This, do him a favor and dump him.
Jordan Bailey
>It's a good thing to create, but clearly it's consuming all his free time to the point where he doesn't take care of himself. Men call this 'greatness'. It's typical for you to misunderstand as a woman.
Kayden Long
I do art as a side thing and have been in the same situation as your husband. Just let him be. He is right now in his creativity burst and it will end. If you are that worried about him, just give him friendly reminders to take care of himself like taking breaks to eat, and to prevent him from getting carpal tunnel. Also show some interest in his art, support it, may it be good or not.
His burst will run out. It happens.
Joshua Gutierrez
Sleep around OP
Grayson Lewis
Marriage is transactional. So is everything else in life.
