Lets see what happens. Come here and vent

Well M, I hope you miss me as much as I miss you, but I know it's unlikely

I wish he would prove he cared about me. I feel alone.

I want to kill everyone. I hate everyone almost as much as I hate myself.

just fyi I know they don't care if they live or die but it's not them I would go after first.

So... I told you to stop that shit. Push it further and they will get it. You know exactly who I am talking about.

All I ever do is push everyone around me away but at the same time I don't want to be alone. What a fucking hypocrite. Solitude is what I deserve wether I like it or not anyways.

judging by the replies recently someone said something here you didn't want me to associate with a certain person so you tried to hide it in some noise.

Probably trying to hide my own replies from someone.

PS. mine are the ultra violent ones.

Why is old Chicago buffalo sauce so damn salty. Every time I literally have to get a paper napkin and dab all the sauce off, and it's still salty as all hell, even when I ask for light sauce.

I wish you loved me and wanted to seek me out too to contact.

you know what I have to say right

Fucking kill them all. Kill every single fucking one of them. Do it for me because you know I can't do it myself. Fucking cowards.

Bow down to the one you serve.

Afraid of opening this text

Was just rejected by a job that I was really hopeful for.

I know that I'm not supposed to get my hopes up. But shit man, I thought I had it in the bag. From the beginning to end. Shit. Man I feel so unaccomplished.

Where would I even find you?

Are you mad I fucked him?

I found fucked up videos of a man killing animals in horrific ways by basically restraining them rupturing their organs via forcefully inflating them with air and water. It disturbs me deeply that there are people getting off to this and has made me lose faith in humanity at the moment.

My life feels like I'm walking down a dark tunnel, it's cold, dark, and empty, and I've been rendered so numb by it I can't recognize anything else.

Still I keep moving on this everlasting tunnel even when my mind is yelling at me "gotta get out, gotta get out, gotta get out." like a mantra and for very ring something deeper taunts me and tells me that there is no way out and laughs every time I cling to something I can pretend to care about since it tells me that I know that I'll just end up back where I started in the beginning.

Other than that I'm fine.

Don't give up, it gets easier... not much in my case but don't totally isolate yourself.

Report him

I've become so angry and jaded that I can't even listen to music anymore. Seriously, all music just pisses me the fuck off for like no reason.

You don't scare me. I'm not scared by anyone.

Whats got ya mad, sport?

I can't love, I've pushed away everyone who gives a shit about me, I fucking hate myself, I can't seem to find any purpose or meaning to my life I don't add any value to my society, I have no passion, no talent
When I die nobody will remember or miss me
I lost all hope

What the fuck? These threads have hit nuclear

I reported the videos to an animal welfare organization but being the jaded person I am, I do not know how much that will help. There are no indications of where this guy might be located. The videos take place in barren rooms.

It is just a shit feeling being reminded that there is probably much more evil shit like this in the world that nobody knows about with psychopaths getting away with it. Someone might just say, “who the fuck cares, they are just animals,” but the way they died was agonizing and completely fucked up.

kys

you care about your wife?

Do not test me.
Walk away and never look back.

Maybe try reporting them to some more organisations? There should be a way to trace uploader's IP or something
>just animals
It's still fucked up, and I think people who are able to do something like that to an animal won't hesitate to treat a human being with equal cruelty, given a chance
I don't really believe in heaven and hell, but when I read/hear/see fucked up things like that, I employ suspension of disbelief and pracy for hellish life and earth and eternal damnation for people like that

More than you or anyone else could.

What's the fastest/painless way to do that user?

>be me
>want a trip to the other side
>care about the pain

It's almost like you don't know what death is

No one know what death is you fucking retard that's the only reason I haven't killed myself yet

On a fundamental level you lack to understand that death is the absence of sentience entirely. This means that for every moment you are dead, time never existed and the pain you felt before taking a trip into the void and any decay that occurs to your corpse after is null.

Why does it matter if you burn alive for all it matters? So long as you act with precision in the intent that want to end your life, I see no reason for your petty inquiries.

We all know what death is
It's the "coming back point"
Death is the end with the living
Even Chrisfags need to realize that

why are so many people trying to be me.

I mean, yeah... don't test me and no I'm not afraid but come on.

Suck my dick I'm a shark.

Give me my fucking meds you cunts.

Nachos
fat kid
alien drawing
omelets and shit
and like

GIVE ME MY FUCKING MEDS

I think I've totally fucked up my brain chemistry through years of heavy weed smoking, excessive drinking and regular use of other substances. I get bouts of brain zaps at least once a day and horrific nightmares and sleep paralysis if I don't get stoned or drunk before bed. I feel very anxious and paranoid and depressed when I'm alone. I can't tell anyone about this for fear of pushing away the friends I have if they knew how fucked in the head I am. God I'm so retarded

Attached: sleepparalysis.jpg (181x278, 6K)

the brain zaps come from fucking serotonin withdrawals you dumb mother fucker.

I know, because you assholes fucking replaced my effexor with placebos at least once every two months.

I hate all of you so fucking much.

So life is but a pointless dance In front of the grave ?!

Attached: 1529672883677.jpg (225x225, 10K)

>Be me
>Be reddit fag
>Decide to go on Jow Forums
>Get to this thread and decide to share a story

Here goes
>Be me
>Be 13
>Be at friends house
>Dumbass sister gets home
>Lets call her Jane
>Janes a total fag who gets high with her friends and drinks all the time.
>Friend does it like Jane
>Jane treats him like shit
>Jane throws a party while friends mom is not home
>Like 10 people
>Loud music and Jane decides she wants to vape in house as drink.
>Friend and I get mad. Decide to ruin the party.
>Friend and I spot 4 kids on porch rolling blunts.
>Decide perfect opportunity to take down this party
>Fags are vamping while doing it
>Play fucking normie full volume on computer as a warning
>They continue doing so
>Friend and I take water bottles and poke holes in cap with foldable knife
>Spray vape fags with water and ruin blunt
>Jane gets mad
>Can’t do anything because mom will get mad if she knew they were rolling blunts and drinking
>Run down stairs while they move to garage
>Take control of Bluetooth speaker
>Turn volume to earrape levels
>Big speaker so vibrates floor
>Take their phones and turn on every alarm
>For whatever reason they had like 100
>Take a couple chargers while at it
>Drunk high kids come in
>Let frenzy begin
>Alarms going off every 5 seconds
>Grils crying because high and confused
>Queue earrape
>Play fucking normies
>Everyone leaves
>No more party’s
What’s your story’s

Attached: F1DFEB07-09C8-41CC-84F9-3F450D009A0C.jpg (657x527, 45K)

Yeah
But how will you make your kids remember that dance
I've done it

You're a fucking fag for ruining the party

you just confirmed everything scott. now the family is more worried than before and actually did manage to get the police involved now. this all could have been over. I wanted to do things so easy.

and you go and send your guys out that I've been following all day and they are not subtle at all. you go making threats against me and other people again. man how do you think this shakes out? really. killing people and getting away with it is a lot harder than it used to be man.

this can still be ended just fine.

I can't leave her like that. her family won't leave her like that. they want to hire a PI now man.

She can leave any time she wants to. :)

well then you should really stop threatening people if that's the case. but you got a mess of people looking for you now and her.

Lol

Sad cucks who can't control women

threaten my friends or me again and i will end you.

and for the record. I know it's all bullshit.

i want to feel sad because sad is better than empty

everything I was just told.

youtube.com/watch?v=1ulO1l6ZQ60

Of course I know why I get brain zaps you dickhead I’m not that stupid. I was just venting about my own bad decisions, because y’know that’s kinda the point of these threads. Fuck your Effexor

Yeah, I'm a prude. Call me childish, or whatever it is you want, but I have every right to be.

You weren't the one molested when you were younger.

I owe you absolutely nothing.

I'm too low income to afford healthcare. My income is too high for medicaid. I wouldnt be surprised if I end up with some untreatable disease at this point because i cant afford to get checked out.

I like you user, you're gonna make it big and have a chad degree, lots of money, and a gf with big milkers who blows you every 2 hours.

Attached: 1478973869506.jpg (1000x800, 61K)

You don’t deserve me.

i haven’t felt this way in a long time. it’s been years, actually. when you first told me how you felt, i wanted more than anything else in the world to say yes. if i could go back and change the way things were, i would do it in a heartbeat. but i couldn’t say yes. it wasn’t right. i was in a relationship (albeit a short one), we both had big deadlines looming over the horizon, it just wasn’t a good time. i still remember what you said all those months ago, about getting your hopes up. i made you wait, and i’m sorry. but i feel like it was the right move, maybe not what would have made us (or if not you, me) the happiest in the moment, but i like to believe it was the good thing to do. i didn’t want to burden you at a time when you clearly didn’t have any to spare. but that time has passed. i’ve waited months to tell you this, i’ve replayed this scenario in my head hundreds of times over. i know exactly what i want to say, for the first time. so when you left that night, i couldn’t help but ask myself. what did i do wrong? was it something i said? something i did? for the first time, i couldn’t sleep that night, because of you. but i’m done beating around the bush. i need to tell you how i feel, and i need to know if you still feel the same. i know i kept you waiting, and i know you might have already moved on all those months ago, and you have every right to. but for the past half a year, i’ve been holding onto even the tiniest bit of hope that you might say yes. and even if you don’t feel that way about me, i still need an answer. i need closure.

so she didn't go because you had a threat to kill me and people near me. hope karma nails you real good. I don't get what your deal is. I don't get what is so important to you after all the hate you spewed at her when she was with me and everything I heard about you.

you pay off that cop too? it's probably likely. yeah you got it in checkmate man. I gotta say, you do. that's really unfortunate for her. not gonna say I'm scared or was scared at any point but you are the one person I've ever gone after that got me in checkmate. what goes around comes around, just hope for her sake it comes around sooner rather than later.

I am so fucking sad right now it hurts. I can't even express how much fucking darkness and heartbreak I'm awash in.
Dad:
>it's my dad's birthday at midnight and he has to leave early in the morning for an appointment
>he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and even though he's doing better than expected he's been really secretive and private about it
>never know what he's doing or where he's going, just "appointments"
>he isn't even getting chemo but tells me he's going to live to see me graduate med school
>I'm afraid he's just dying secretly and not talking about it
>dad used to beat the ever-loving shit out of me as a kid and it made me into an edgy self-mutilating prick
>beat the living fuck out of him a few months ago when he laid hands on me again and feel horrible about it
>constantly feel tension between the two of us and hate myself for still feeling spite over the abuse while also hating myself for being weak enough to be willing to suffer it
>I'm a wannabe doctor who beat up a cancer patient
>try so fucking hard to be loving but deep-down I've always fantasized about straight-up killing him
Mom:
>mom is in fucking prison, haven't seen her in almost 2 decades
>lost contact with that side of my family
>she went crazy because the fever and toxemia from giving birth to me basically fried her brain and I feel sometimes like it's my fault
>dad says she basically died on that table and that she never walked or talked the same way or even liked the same food or music again
>feel so much fucking sorrow when I think of how she used to sing to me and know that she truly must have loved me
>you can google her name and it's just mugshot after mugshot
Grandparents
>raised me like their own son
>my grandma, the woman who raised me while my dad was working, is dying from Alzheimer's and can't even go to the bathroom by herself anymore
>sometimes she knows she's dying

Attached: 7ebb50e2f2315f30e541bbc8df2303a9.jpg (1024x768, 48K)

well Jow Forums. it wasn't a larp. none of it. for the first time, tragically, it wasn't a larp.

I think I might end it desu.

Why would you led me on during a relationship you bitch?
You know I was in love with you.

???

I’m sorry to hear, user
Try to make it up with your father though

the biker cuck saga. as crazy as it is, it was actually her and the dude in here. it culminated in almost dying today. and almost having my friends killed today. and it's done. the dude actually isn't gettable. I do anything and my two closest friends die. she can't leave or it goes bad. she told the cops a complete lie and now there's nothing anyone can do legally to get her away from him.

none of it was a larp. and it's all over now.

Oh, I'm not even close to done here.

(CONT)
>house has been converted into a fucking hospice with me, my dad, and his dad all working to take care of her
>already lost my mom, and now I'm losing my grandma, and my dad's watching his mom die, too, and he could be dying, and my grandpa knows it
>grandma and grandpa already lost a son a few years ago and he died in front of us
>grandma basically let the dementia take her at that point
>now another son is probably dying in front of them
>get the distinct feeling that my dad is just hoping his mom, my mother figure, dies before he does
>grandpa, my Papa, my only Papa, cries in the early hours of the morning when he's alone drinking his coffee
>he's losing his wife of 60 years
>afraid my Papa will outlive my dad but don't want him to die either
>hate myself even more for the tension I create because it makes it harder on them when things are already their hardest ever
Sisters:
>haven't seen them in years
>dad's second marriage failed, too, and they got separated shortly after I ran away from home
>that's my fault, too
>always took for granted that I could see my sisters every day and now I miss it dearly
>dreaming of the feeling of my sister's hand in my own
>know I'm a bad brother
>worry about both of them because they both have medical conditions that could drop them dead any day
>want to reach out and be there for them but can only do so much and be in so many places at once
Me:
>piece of shit, chain-smoking, negative fucking downer with virtually no redeeming qualities and these hideous fucking scars on my arms
>really only warm and tender when I'm with my grandma, and only for her sake
>singing her the same songs she used to sing me to sleep with and hoping to God she remembers somehow
>no friends where I live
>nobody to vent or cry to, everybody has enough on their plate already and the last thing they need is me being a burden to them and dragging them down
>it's fucking killing me (CONT)

Attached: 1527922917784.gif (500x353, 327K)

truly, everything is gone. and I think I might prefer not being around to having to think about what's being done to her and how she's being manipulated and everything we could have had. and he's just the smuggest piece of shit I've ever seen.

Let's hang out.
Ok!
Hey why didn't we hang out.
*Excuse* but we can next weekend
Repeat x4
Confess feelings, "look, I can handle rejection, just reject me if you're not interested, seriously"
No no user let's hang out and see
Bail + excuse x3

Why the fuck wouldn't you just fucking g reject me initially instead of making me waste all this time/effort/hope for months straight when I practically laid out the red carpet for you to just say you aren't interested??

Fuck women.

(CONT)
>didn't get into the postbacc program locally
>got accepted into 2 postbacc programs far away and wound up going to neither one because of money and because I couldn't bring myself to leave my family again right now
>deeply depressed over this and feel like a fucking failure
>eating one meal every 2 days, if that, and barely sleeping, chain-smoking even as my dad struggles with cancer
>tried to quit and took it back up a week later because I'm useless and a burden when I'm going through withdrawals
>taking piecemeal courses at a community college to get into medical school
>working as a substitute teacher because we're fucking broke as hell and I feel like a parasite asking for 5 dollars twice a week
>already 25, gonna be like 31 when I get my MD
>feel like a fucking retard who's been held back
>everybody my age has their shit together already
>viscerally aware of how much younger the others in my classes are than me
>this is the environment I'm studying for the MCAT in
>had a huge fucking fight with my best friend months ago and lost her
>realized in the middle of all this shit that I was in love with her
>so fucking lonely
>going week after week without speaking to anybody outside my house
>wanting to be a doctor to protect what's worth loving rapidly turning into sheer hatred and spite towards disease as an abstract
>probably going to be completely fucking alone in less than half a decade

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I honestly don’t give a fuck.

Could you reply to it?

You need to get ahold of her the day the plans are made, YOU need to make the plans

I often get a nagging urge to hurt myself, yet what prevents me is that it wouldn't solve anything and at worst would only make things worse. I hate who I am as a person and used to feel like killing myself would be some kind of duty to the world. Now the feeling of inadequacy has mellowed to the point of me hating how weak and small and stupid I am. I feel ashamed that I'm not enough for the people around me.

I’ve been here before. Every time something traumatic happens in my life I go on Jow Forums to type something up knowing I can hide my identity...I can hide my failure, I can explain what’s going on and how you’re slipping through my fingers..

I am so gorgeous, talented, hilarious, intelligent and more..yet despite my attributes the person I am severely in love with is backing away. It’s really quite frightening. Nine months ago you were blown away by me. You bought me a promise ring and told me you would an engagement ring on next. You took me to yourhometown thousands of miles away to visit your family... our sex life is heavenly, We always satisfy each other physically...but something has severely changed and I don’t know you well enough if it’s because of me or because your ego hurts. You don’t apply for jobs, you have a masters, you don’t even attempt to look online...It makes me so uneasy seeing the days go by and you don’t make progress and your family badgers you. You told me you are unhappy. Did I do this?? Is it me? Or is it your heart hurting because you aren’t fulfilled with your career.. I know I raise my voice when I am angry, but I ask nicely so much for you to pay attention to me. I want affection and adoration, you were so good at providing that. Now you want space, you haven’t spoken to me...you’re distant, you’re slipping away. I am scared we are over, I am scared you’re done with me. I cry for days and you told me you want space so I leave you alone...but you won’t say I love you anymore...and that’s all I need to hear. Please just tell me “hey babe I still need space but I love you, I’ll let you know when I am ready”
That’s all I need...

Oh yeah. He posted just to rub it in my face the second I got off the phone with the police with him standing there.

I'm gonna go and I wont be back. Been a good run yall. Had a lot of fun here. Did a lot of crazy shit here. But i dont want this life. Take care keep being retards. It doesnt pay off but that's just things here. We're all just retards in the end. Not everyone makes it.

I can't accept the fact I have autism and its made me to kill myself

I push the people I love away because of my own insecurities in life.

I'm not muscular, i'm not succesful, I have a debt, I don't want to travel, I don't have any ambitions, I lack motivation to be better, I am subpar in my trade and for some reasons it's always the women with the biggest dreams and goals in life that like me for who I am.

Even if they say that, I know they're looking at better men, hotter men, men who do have goals or are ambitious in what they do.

I am worth nothing.

Welcome to the club

She looks like and reminds me of you - I hope you're doing well.

youtube.com/watch?v=AJT7SgO1Jl8

I fucking love you so much man, I can deeply relate to you dude. Please man, I need you to stay strong for you, your family and for me. Don't let me down bro, I need you to live good and end great.

I give myself 2 years before I lose what little sanity I have and kill myself.

Boo!

I've become comfortable in despair and automatically try to drag everyone down into a self-made abyss. I never asked for it to end up like this, yet also feel like I made those bad decisions with the full knowledge of consequences.

A recent experience has made me aware of the growing monster inside, but now I'm paralyzed in fear at its ferocity. I cry out in help, although silently, afraid that anyone coming to aid will be swallowed as well.

Lies, truths, feelings, reality, and morality... they're all so tiresome. Maybe everything should just disappear.

You want puppy off the leash? She is worthless like this anyways.

Then that's no fucking good, let go of me already.

I found someone too.

Though my post is very ambiguous (intentionally so), I was actually referring to the woman on the cover art of the album I linked.

what'd you fucking do.

I waited too long

I hope you get fat and cut yourself becuase that indonesian loser has a rice penis.

Fuck you all for making me feel selfconsious.
Fuck society for making me feel like I'm worth less as a human for not being as smart as everyone else.
And fuck all the porn on Jow Forums. Like wtf? Just google the porn instead of post a million threads about it.
Talking to you >>Jow Forums