Be me

>be me
>Right now
>dating someone online
>suicidal
>don't want to online date
>know online dating doesn't ever work
>trying to explain it to them makes them feel worthless
>just want real life love
>end up just saying "yeah we can stay together"
>They want to grow old with me
>Makes me feel worse knowing that im only dating them so they don't feel bad
What do I do, im crying and I just wanna end it all now

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Can I date the girl instead?

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It's a boy or
Im the girl(trans)

Does he know that you are trans? Why don't you want to date him?

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Yeah, he knows. (he loves to mention how im a "tgirl")
I don't wanna date him for his sake, hes so sweet but I've hurt so many people because of my depression.

I know I'm going to get flak by saying this but, you should keep going with him. Depression is a bitch, and you should be strong and get better. Like do activities that you like, go out with him and do fun stuff, those things.
Never give up!

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We're dating over the internet, so we can't go out lol. I can't get a job and he's literally starving himself just to meet me, im scared that we won't meet after all he's doing... He even wants to propose to me when we meet

How far do you live from him though?

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He's Serbia, im Scotland, my family hates LGBT.

Yeah, not going to work. LDRs never work. You are better off not pursuing a relationship with him.

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Yeah that's what I thought.

Do you want me to help you out with your depression?

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Sure I guess

Well, why are you depressed?

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My family don't accept the fact im trans, im bullied irl (have been for about 8 years now) in online communities im hated for attempting suicide or being trans. The list can go on but idk

Well, trans people have a bad reputation in online communities because a tiny fraction just so happens to be a pain in the ass to the rest. You don't seem like that, though, so it's more like a prejudice they have against you.
About the bullying and attempted suicide, have you ever gone to a therapist?

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You're right about that, if you met me elsewhere im only annoying if you're annoying to me
British therapists are just there for a reason to send you to a mental hospital for ages

If they annoy you, just ignore them. Being annoyed at someone sometimes ends up with you getting that frustration out with the rest.
Also, how many times have you gone to a therapist? I would expect you going to 3 different ones if you say somthing like that.

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I've been to one, it's been from talking to numerous people that have though and told me that made me stop it

What was your expecience with that one therapist?

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She told me to either get anti depressants or go to a hospital on day one

That's a shitty therapist. A good one would help you though with saying that stuff.

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You aren't wrong welcome to Britain though

Look, you should try again. If this new therapist is also shit, then I can tell you what to do.

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