The fuck do I do to turn my gf on?

The fuck do I do to turn my gf on?

I want to do something sexy for gf, but wtf does men do to be sexy? Can't think of shit besides dickpix.

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9/10 girls have had an orgasm during rape, i suggest dressing up like a stranger and raping her

Most girls are sexually submissive to at least some degree. Try man handle her a little.

I should've mentioned, she's not here.
I want something I can do over whats app.

Do the dishes, vacuum, do the laundry, wash the windows—all without ever saying you did it.

Try sexual rp then op. 9/10 girls would rather have you tell them something sexually charged instead of seeing your dick with 0 context.

Build something or make a good dinner. Learn a classical instrument (not guitar). Survive a nature trip that includes building a fire.

...idk, thats some stuff that gets me going.

Never ever a dick pic or a shirtless photo. Ew.

You a femanon? Good.
She actually likes my dickpix, but I want to mix shit up.

Plus I'm a skeletor looking mother fucker with a chubby belly. While you are computing that I'm here saying the only saving grace of me is my face, which is glorious and bearded nicely.

In case you haven't noticed I'm also about 75% drunk. So excuse that.

Lol shes most likely lying dude. Honestly it doesn't matter if youre hung like a horse, a picture of a dick is so objectively clingy.

What about if she actually asks me for them?
Plus, must I remind you she's my gf, not some random girl I want some booty call. She's familiar with my documents.

exactly. duuude, girls hate dickpics.

This

Dick pics are just weird. Unless she asks in which case do it obviously.

>asks for them

Thats for your selfesteem. Not her sexual benfit

Lots of assumptions here.
The first one is tahat I'm in need of any.
The second is assuming you know my gf enough to know her ons and offs instead of me knowing her for over 2 years..

They won’t ask if they don’t want to see. I get what you’re saying and not saying that may not be partly the reason but. They wouldn’t even begin to ask if they didn’t want them.

Jesus, sorry for the grammar.

No excuses needed, I downed a bottle of red because I wanted to cry while watching Beauty and The Beast. But it didn’t do it for me this time so here I am, reading threads about guys liking girls. I say that’s a good second.

Idk what else sexy you can do though... rent a cinema screening to watch Beauty and The Beast? I really want that...

Dude, I watched the live action one and both me and gf got out of the cinema fucking crying.

I know! Bit slow start for me, but when Beast burst into song after letting her go... so much cry. So much want sexy beast.

You could cosplay as Beast? Your gf might be into that.

She'd laugh her ass off. Plus I'm nowhere as thicc as the Beast.
She does like feeling dominated tho (going back to topic), but I'm a scrawny ass mother fucker that can't lift for shit. How do?

Take up swimming. That will fix it. Don’t need to be super fit muscle head. Swimmer body on a lanky ass guy. Sooo good

Really wanted something more in promptu.

Idk then... get a strap-on and ask to be pegged. That seem to be all the hype these days.

Nothing turns a woman on more than setting her in the mood.

> Dinner
> Candlelight
> Music

Etc. True today as it was 500 years ago.

I guarantee you it would turn her off like a desert instantly.
Trust me, I'd actualy like it a bit.

Ask her what turns her on. Nobody knows better than her.
Try some toys, amp up the excitement in bed with the usual trite (i.e. bdsm, roleplay). Just make sure that it's something that SHE wants to do, and even better if you like it.