Okay, how do I get a lot of money fast without robbing a bank?

That question is too broad. A lot of people can easily come up with a large sum of money while a lot of other people can't.

But one obvious way to come up with a large sum of cash is to sell your assets. That means anything you own: possessions and wealth. Assuming your things or ownership can amass a large sum of money, that is.

There are also seedy money lending conglomerates you can solicit for a large sum of funds. Some let you borrow with assets such as a deed to a home or an ownership certificate for a vehicle. Get smart. You are on the internet. Use your head.

Everything I own wouldn’t half cover what I need, so pawning isn’t much of an option unless I want to be further behind than when I started.

Uhhh so... interest plus the backers and then the loans I took out, plus Jackson needs to be paid off...I’d need about 50K in two months, 53K if I hold them back an extra month.

Gambling is what got me into this shit.
I’m barred from anywhere I’d have a decent chance.
I mean, there’s Tyler’s, but they don’t pay much and that motherfucker is ruthless

Nah, I have income, I just can’t cover everything and still have a house, or any of my solutions, which is probably another reason I’m so deep in the hole.
Do you know how difficult it is to smuggle organics overseas?!

I mean, any sustainable solution would be great, just so the suits don’t cut my balls off later

You take a loan to pay off the loan shark or whatever fucking criminal scum you work with, tyrone. If you can't do that you might as well bite the bullet before they hack you into pieces

The fuck did you get Tyrone from?
Oh yeah, take out a loan to pay off another loan, then how am I supposed to pay that?
I need the money so I don’t get fired, and to pay off the debt accumulated otherwise.
Unless I have something to show the suits, my entire life’s work gets thrown to some newbie who has no idea what he’s doing and I get kicked out with an NDA taped to my shirt.

It's going to give you more time. It's bad, but it could be worse, like not having money at all.

You could just go to a casino and gamble, but chances are, that you will literally lose everything and more

>Oh yeah, take out a loan to pay off another loan, then how am I supposed to pay that?
By taking a loan from someone who wont literally cut your balls off so you can pay this new loan back over a longer period of time instead of two months. See the additional dept as a reminder of your shit choices

Okay, We’ve been at this for hours and I do not have a single fucking answer other than gambling, which I’m shit at and will probably make my situation worse.
Anyone have any ideas that are actually useful?

Some anons have already given you the only sensible course of action, which is to try to refinance the loans.
That's the only sane way to quickly deal with loans coming due. All other options boil down into 3 things regardless of details
1.) Crime
2.) Gambling
3.) Running

Amusing larp Tyrone. I suggest sucking cocks without STDs. Might earn you less for your time, but since that's your only limitation I think that's the most secure, source of income as long as you're good. And by the way, no one gives a shit if you're sucking dick. Don't be a dumbass (get the irony?) and get caught. My tip: suck it the way you would've liked it to be sucked. God speed you glorious larping bastard.

Learn to hack.

Or buy a mask and gun and rob like 70 7/11 stores.

I mean there's no way to do that without scamming... it would be illegal but you could always do like a gofundme for some sappy cause

Hey hey hey. Pay them in Bitcones, but actually wassa wassa you give them a generic ERC20 wallet with BITCONNEEEEEEE in it

Well, I don’t live in Vegas, so there aren’t any casinos round here,
Bitcoin...maybe, but the gold rush is pretty much over, so it might not work.
What was that someone said about hacking?

No such thing as quick easy money. Better luck in your next life when you are reincarnated as someone who isnt a financial retard.

There is if you don’t care about legality.

It's summer, turning into autumn. If you live in or near an area with lots of houses and lawns, you can go door-to-door and mow lawns or rake leaves. In my area, you usually get $40 cash per yard.

Rob a mint

Sell your organs

You mentioned you have a house. I say add to the mortgage on your house.

If your house is freehold, then take out a mortgage against it

If need be, sell your goddamn house.

Now is not the time to be picky here; even if it's an ancient inheritance from your family, you really don't have a lot of options. A couple extra years paying it off/getting a new place is better than being tortured/permanently maimed or even killed by debt collectors.