Had a bad breakup with someone i truly cared for. She broke up with me because after dropping her off at her house i went back to the party we were at and talked about her behind her back to a mutual friend. The mutual friend told her and then a couple of days later she finally broke up with me.
Said all of the stuff behind her back while sleep deprived and just spewing out random stuff but apparently the stuff i was said was terrible. I was completely sober at the time.
Friend group which consists of 5-6 people learned about this and all hate me now and probably contributed in her breaking up with me. I told my ex that they made stuff seem worse than it really was. ( her best friend didnt really like me in the first place )
She sent me text logs before the day of the breakup and also deleted all signs of me on her social media. i texted that its not what i really think of her and that im sorry for the things i said. ( sent walls of texts and it probably contributed to why she did it )
This didnt seem to fix things and she never responded to what i had to say.
The next day i didnt text her at all and let her think about what she wanted to do. The reason why she broke up was that she couldnt be with someone who disrepsects her like that. I said thanks for the great times and goodbye.
Proceeded to have no contact with her and just forget about the whole thing because it was my first relationship and i knew i was bound to make a mistake at some point.
Cant stop thinking about her at night and ive dreamed about her forgiving me and the relationship being normal again
This past weekend the friends group were all at the same house so i asked my friend if i could come over and just apologize to everyone since i felt terrible and maybe i could talk my ex into thinking about things. He told me my ex left and i still wanted to come over and apologize to everyone for saying they made the situation exaggerated. They said no.
Haven't said a word to anyone in the group since then.
She probably hates my guts and im trying to respect that. But at the same time i just want to be with her again. The relationship hasnt lasted to the point where she would trust me over her friends and i feel as if they dont approve itll never work out in getting her back. The mistake i made was huge but i doubt she will ever forgive me for it.
What do i do anons? Do i contact my friend and ask for advice on how i should get her back or simply text her something and ask her to meetup somewhere to talk?
2/2
Lincoln Watson
what did you say behind her back?
Easton Mitchell
She chose her friends over you. Don't beat yourself over this too much. This wasn't because of one incident. Her friends have been beating it into her head for a while that you're not right for her, she just happened to finally give in. Go to a strip club, hang out with some sluts, and forget about her.
Carter Sullivan
No contact. As in NO CONTACT. She will come back. But only if you play it cool. When she eventually contacts you (and she will) no more apologising. Don’t talk about the incident at all. It’s beneath you. She blew it out of all proportion and made a mistake. Hold that frame and she will realign her thinking to fit.
Luke Bell
Some things thats shes very sensitive about and some sexual jokes in my mind i was just shooting the shit with this guy but apparently he took it all wrong. But damn i felt like shit the next morning when she texted me " user how could you say that stuff to me "
This is the only person i really cared to be in a relationship with so its kinda hard to forget about her.
No contact is hard user just cant stop thinking about her. Im pretty sure the mutual friend who told her about everything i said that night is into her and i feel if i dont act now itll be too late. But im going to keep doing no contact.
Eli Perry
Preach anons. She was Just looking for an excuse. Dont let her victimize herself. You didnt do anything that bad
Julian Reed
Just because something's hard to do doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.
So, what exactly did you say about her? Just minor complaining or something worse? Because if my gf started saying to her friends that I have a small dick/I'm shit in bed etc., I'd probably leave her too. Some people have a low tolerance for public disrespect.
Austin Reyes
I realize now that what i did wasnt even that bad but just losing someone over something this stupid is beating me up inside.
thank you wise user
How effective would no contact be tho if she hated my guts when she broke up with me what would change? And i doubt she would get back together with me and face the social stigma within the friends group.
Brandon Phillips
You cant do anything to stop him. Any action will make you look worse and push her into his arms. Now its All out of your control. Try to not give a Fuck, If she comes back- do as anons said. If she doesnt- Fuck it. Things like this happen. It may be hard for you to believe but there are other girls, more stable ones.
Ian Campbell
Think about this. If shit like this was enough for her to drop you, What If something seroius happen? Would you be able to count on her?
David Peterson
What you said matters. If it isn't that bad then her friends are toxic and she will believe them instead of you.
If it is indeed worse what you said, its time to learn a lesson and move on
Adrian Sanchez
This. She prioritized her friends over you and had a predisposition to break up with you anyway. Have no contact and do shit you like, make new friends, talk to old ones, whatever. You'll forget and eventually come full circle.
Justin Murphy
Ive been trying to better myself so if she doesnt come back im prepared for the next person i meet but i still have doubts.
Thinking of how the relationship only lasted for a few months i guess in her mind it was alright. But i did lie to her about something a month ago which she did not like at all but after a while she forgave me.
Shes helped me out with some of my problems so i could count on her for personal stuff.
Yeah her friends are the determining factor if she comes back, her best friend is highly manipulative but i think she realizes that. But i dont want to move on if i can salvage the relationship other than just learning about a stupid mistake i shouldve never made.
a few days before she broke up with me i showed my insecurity about if i thought she was still interested in me and she made it clear that she still was. Its hard to make new friends and meet new people since im currently at a community college for another year. Im not an autist but theres simply no socialization where im at in life right now.
Kevin Cruz
How long does it usually take for no contact to possibly make her miss me and come back?
Thanks for the replies anons it cheers me up to talk about it
Camden Diaz
Hard to tell. Dont hang on the idea od her reaching out to you. Just be ready for everything
Nathan Cox
Wait for four months (seriously). If she contacts you during that period run with your plan (ignore past events, don’t chat much, invite her over and escalate. If she wants back in then you’re good to go). If she doesn’t contact you in the four months then feel free to hit her up again.
Mason Jones
The relationship only lasted for a little bit over a couple of months. Waiting for 4 months might be an unreasonable time and shed probably be over me entirely by then. But i see if i make the first move too soon to try and reconnect it will never work.
Dominic Martinez
Goodnight anons
hopefully she comes back or I get over her soon because this is the worst emotional pain ive experienced in my life
Angel Evans
>This is the only person i really cared to be in a relationship with so its kinda hard to forget about her. And it ended for good reasons. You are the one that feels that way, she does not. Grow up
