How can you tell when a shy girl thinks you're attractive vs. when she's just creeped out by you?

mm yeah this especially. If they find any excuse to be really close to you or touch you then she likes you a lot. When this happens you have to deliver and touch her back so she can go home and fap away

But I don't 'have' other issues. I just want a damn gf to remind me what love feels like. We are not built to live alone, and spending years and years with no contact WILL fuck you up, no matter what some pseud tells you.

>Yeah, I doubt that. Happy people don't say: it's still kinda sad to realize how unwanted you are.
I mean, I wouldn't day I'm particularly happy, but in an objective sense my life is pretty on track. I've got good friends, a good job, a good family and other than dating my future looks pretty bright.

>You can't ignore what you feel. Thinking of yourself this way I bet you don't put yourself out there. Why would you flirt with a girl if you already assume she will reject you? This kind of thinking has ramifications.
Bingo. I didn't know you could read minds.

"Single" is not "alone". If you have really spent years of your life with no human contact and love, then you have issues beyond a Gf mate.

Is not the guy you were talking to, is.

>I didn't know you could read minds.

I've been on this board for a while. You kinda find some patterns of behavior.

> other than dating my future looks pretty bright.

So, you really don't worry about anything beyond dating? Your family never drives you crazy? Do you love your job? Does everything work towards making you happy?

Alone in the context of actual fucking intimacy m8, I've known my roommate since we were in kindergarten together and I unironically refer to him as my brother but neither he nor any of my other friends are a substitute for real love.

Love is love. If you ever date you'll see it's not that different from any other sort of attention. Sure, you get to fuck your GF and not your friends, but as F wirh Benefits and people that hire hookers can tell you, sex is not love.

>So, you really don't worry about anything beyond dating?
I worry, but as long as I keep doing what I'm doing things are likely to work out OK.
>Your family never drives you crazy?
Sometimes, but so far it's always either been really minor or we've worked it out.
>Do you love your job?
No but there's not a lot of jobs I'd rather have.
>Does everything work towards making you happy?
No, but that's OK.

My life isn't perfect, but I'm lucky enough that my problems are relatively little compared to most people. The only thing I dread about the future is whether or not I'll find someone.

I really don't have that. I usually can tell when a female is interested
It's the complete lack of reasoning I have that I'm so unsuitable that makes me barricade myself in desparity. Fucking living at home, chemical imbalance, lack of ambition, future looks dim, and when I feel something for someone I can't help than act on impulse of my desire. Like even after all that shit i still chase and act like a complete fucking tard.

>My life isn't perfect

That's the worrisome part. What kind of problems are you ignoring?

Because, hear me out for a second: If you really are an average looking, self-loving person with a regular social life, enough money to leave and have some fun, and a healthy relationship with friends and family, I don't get why dating would be so hard for you.

What are, specifically, your issues with dating?

>What are, specifically, your issues with dating?
I have no idea how to do it. Like it's not a "you need to see women as people" thing because I have a handful of female friends I enjoy talking to, I just literally have no concept of the most basic elements of romance.

>I have no idea how to do it.

How do you usually start doing things you have no idea how to do?

I Google it.

Have you Googled dating tips?

In what universe? The attention I get from my bro is way the fuck different than attention I get from my real brother is different from that I get from my dad is different from that I got from my mother was completely different from what I will get from a gf. I don't think you understand the fundamental truths going on here.

Yeah. Look man, I'm not saying it's utterly hopeless, I'm just saying it sucks when you realize someone's not into you, and doubly so when you late to start the dating game.

>I don't think you understand the fundamental truths going on here.

Your mom, your brother, your dad, those are individual people, each loving you in their own way. I know it's hard to separate their "role" from their person, but their love isn't different because of what kind of "role" they play in your life.

>Yeah.

So, what's the issue, then? It's like doing any new thing.

>doubly so when you late to start the dating game.

Oh, see, we are getting somewhere now. Your life isn't just lollipops and rainbows. Here's something that makes you look down on yourself.

Plus, I know that i know, in this moment, that I'm unsuitable. I know that their is more problems than "finding" a relationship. Getting jumpstarted in life, caring about myself, and putting myself out there. People always say " You have social problems. Every time your around adayada or idayada you get tense" no. I've had genuine relationships in the past. I've even had a one night stand or just sexual relationship at first. I think overtime just giving in to insecurity after insecurity that I realized a close relationship being with whomever is unattainable. I know the person I am is unsuitable at this time . To be who they want me to to be or a forbidden feeling anyway. That's why I've acted on impulse a couple times. I desired it with a women I know that wants someone that's at a better state. Not a class state, but overall well-being. And this is just a figurative one person. When I worked in a environment around customers. I use to get hit on or i would do the flirting. In Lehman terms it's just something that isn't achievable momentarily. Not that I don't want it, but that I want companionship so much to make a better version of me . Someone can't be their in that process

>So, what's the issue, then? It's like doing any new thing.
>Oh, see, we are getting somewhere now. Your life isn't just lollipops and rainbows. Here's something that makes you look down on yourself.
There isn't really an issue, I don't think it's controversial to say that if my biggest problem is dating then I must not have very big problems.

Dude, listen to me for a second: If your biggest problem is dating, then what's stopping you from addressing it? That's how I know it's not your biggest problem.

It literally is though. I'm not going to cuddle my roommate and try to hash out my fears for the future, I'm going to smoke with him and bitch about work. Fundamentally different.

>what's stopping you from addressing it?
I am addressing it, it just takes time and it sucks when things don't work out.

a girl is creeped out by you if her tone changes. If its hard and sharp she thinks youre repulsive, but if it soft and warm she wants you inside

No, you are not addressing it. You came here because you had a crush on a girl that doesn't pay attention to you so you make up this idea that she is shy, but secretly into you.

It sounds like you just don't have a deep relationship with your homies. Talking about the future is not reserved for GFs.

Also, some people smoke and bitch about work with their GFs, never developing a deep relationship either. As I said, "sex" is not the same as "love".

when the girl says to you " I see you every where, when I close my eyes at night,youre there," its time to make out and have children.

Attached: tastyarrangedmarriagelove.jpg (312x387, 91K)

I mean if she starts to "see you everywhere," which includes wet dreams then its "destiny," right? Like if she's day dreaming and suddenly youre there then i mean knock knock?

Attached: knockknock1.jpg (637x900, 214K)

Nah she pays plenty of attention to me. We're friends and we talk pretty often. She not into me, I thought she might have been but I was wrong. Feels bad but it's not the end of the world.

At what point did I ever mention sex you nincompoop? The problem in this conversation is that you are utterly incapable of differentiating romantic love from platonic love. And hell no, I absolutely have a deep relationship with my bros. I was making an overt comparison. There is a huge difference between "I want this guy in my foxhole when the yankees come back" and "I want this woman to raise my children."

>I thought she might have been but I was wrong.

This these five lameass replies convinced you? You didn't think she was into you if this is what it took to get the idea out of your head.

For me it isn't dating in the end it came down to sustaining a friendship into dating into a full fledged relationship. I lost my whisk in the batter. I feel like I desire the companionship of someone that I failed to realize that to be dateable you got to have your shit together. I want to date someone of my age or older and that relatively am not suitable. I'm too depressed, I'm a needy bitch, I jumpstart into revelerie at the fact that I feel like "see, she really does/did want that" but I'm like anyone else. I can read people and they can me. They know I'm fucking unsuitable and the whole I don't want want a relationship right now is part of that. I've went along with the whole friend thing in the past and it eventually went to sex to dating to never talking to each other for years. Happened with me with an ex talked to her years after and she had kids got married, but still asked me to a bar at 11 at night. Some you know is just unavoidable and to save face from situation at one point it was plausible is no longer plausible. I guess affection plays a big role

>"I want this woman to raise my children."

Not every girl will make you feel that way. And the problem s just your social expectations. If this is not about sex, why can't a dude help you raise children?

If your wife dies, can't you have a male friend/roommate help you with your family? After all, you said it yourself, the point is not romantic love. Child rearing is not romantic.

I should have realized I was being trolled.

if you have to double take to check if shes not in the bushes, or try to recognize what car she drives when youre walking alone to the library because you dont have a car, then theres a slight chance she might like you.

Attached: 4ce0ba083754cfb6756c9a48671730c5191147f1_hq.gif (400x240, 771K)

I mean, I wasn't 100% beforehand, and I might ask her out anyway just to be sure. Why are you so concerned about this?

You are the one that offered a task anyone can do. Being a partner for child rearing, an example for your kids to follow, emotional and/or financial support, etc. can be done by people of any gender. The only thing a male can't do is get pregnant with your child, but beyond that, there's no issue.

Because you are worried enough to come to this board for help, but not willing to open up to deeper issues.

I'm worried that you will just walk away from here and keep denying that there's more to this. I hope you see that.

Is this the 1920's??

You're trying to tell me that love isn't real. Fuck off.

Whats the underlying issue then? Then again thinking someone might "like" you for blushing or refraining eye contact when you started talking isn't delusional. I had my doubts so what??? I think in a general since that's over. Maybe one of those famous life lessons I found out? Shut like this has happened beforehand. Know what happened? I was down and got over that shit.

Love is real, but you think the love of a girl is somehow "more" than any other kind of love, and if you ever get to date, you'll see it's not.

The underlying issue is that you are reading too much into your interactions with women.

I don't think that's the case. Love is real, but the love for someone or something can outweigh the love you have for others. Not the fact you believe each love is different, but the want of love from something or someone means more. In a capitalistic sense.

test

The assertion that you get the same validation from a fist bump as you do from a kiss is baseless and asinine.

What? If you are saying that you are making yourself believe the love of a woman is better, then yeah, we agree. It's not better, you are just convinced it is.

And the only way I can prove my point to you is by letting you know the truth and waiting until you experience reality first hand.

So if your homie kissed you it'd be better than a fist bump?

I'm not saying all love is the same, read up when I mentioned the members of your (or any) family are individuals with their own takes on love. I'm saying that just because you have a GF doesn't mean her love will be deeper.

That's true, but then again I never questioned ever interaction I've ever had with every women that I ever came into existence with on the daily. Maybe one woman but many? Nah

>Maybe one woman but many?

>Shut like this has happened beforehand.

It's not one woman.

Is not

No, because in that relationship what I would "want" more Is a fist bump. Because that's what I see. And no I don't believe will be deeper, but at the moment love from that sense would mean "more".

Again, would a homie kissing you be cooler because it's a kiss and not a fist bump? The act is not what makes it deep, the act is not what makes it more. A kiss can be empty.

But you made the generalization? Maybe love can be defined by an act maybe you fall for helps you when you have overload of things to do and cuts it into. Maybe her act means "more" than if a person also commits this act. Well, I guess it can empty?

1. You are now arguing with more than three people.
2. I am now convinced that you have never had a real relationship that wasn't shit with a woman who wasn't ruined which is why you think that the love of someone who thinks you're they're everything and isn't blood related and thus obligated to care is the same as the love of a good friend or a brother and not a whole order of magnitude more intense and meaningful.

>But you made the generalization?

Which generalization? I made the opposite. I'm saying kissing, sex, cuddling, etc. doesn't mean you have a deeper connection or deeper love with someone. If you feel "alone", as user said, kissing a girl won't solve it. Being "single" is not the same as being "alone"

A kiss can be empty if you pick up someone at a bar or on tinder. Your giving out if love is mutual.

Dude, of course someone choosing to spend their life with you is a deep, wonderful connection. Choosing to share everything, your highs and your lows, is huge.

But do you really think every romantic relationship is like that? Get out of the honeymoon face and then tell me that.

As I said a thounsand times, "single" is not "alone". If you really need someone to pledge their life to you to feel complete, then sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not likely to happen on your first date. How many more years are you going to sulk that you are "alone" because you don't find a life-long partner?

If being single makes you feel bad, the problem is that you don't like yourself, or that you imagine you need to have a partner because of some reason (social, for example).

Dating, heck, living, is being at peace with yourself.

No, that's reverse psychology and a play of words. When did being someone's everything join the discussions? Maybe if we were watching some shitty vanity fair video on a fucking timelapse of an old couple would be brought up. Then again, who even said this is real.

Refer to this post: I'll write a quotable sentence, though: You are going to be "alone" (as in, with no lifelong partner) for a long time. Most people never find a good partner in marriage. It's fine to look for love, but don't think dating is this wonderful thing when it's not.

Ay, you got it by the balls. I don't like myself and I don't see it as a social status.

>I don't like myself

A GF won't fix that. Not liking yourself will make it harder to find a deep connection. So I guess you have something to work on to improve your chances of finding a partner.

lol I'm not the guy you've been arguing with but god damn I'm sorry you had to go through that, reading that debate it was so obvious that guy is projecting hard and pseudo-intelligently giving you totally unnecessary advice, though I got a good chuckle out of it and you seem like a sensible guy, you write like you're from the UK, at least that's how I read it in my head, reminds me of my friend Connor, anyway man gl on getting a gf who'll love you and treat you right, we all gonna make it, have a good evening mate

When have i ever said it was???? Plus, who are y'all? Atleast give me closure to this charade.

I can't be at peace with a solitary unloved idiot. Until this retard driving around in my body proves to me that he is capable of actually convincing a real living human female to spend her time and energy on him then nothing he ever does is worth shit. There is a difference in thriving and surviving. Being single is surviving. We are not here to merely survive.

>Until this retard driving around in my body

That's you, take responsibility for your actions.

>I can't be at peace with a solitary unloved idiot.

Is that what being "single" means to you? I made several posts pointing out that being "single" has nothing to do with being "solitary", "unloved", or an "idiot".

You need to see that.

No, I want answers for this bullshit I was placed in. The fact I'm being pushed around like this shit for weeks on end with threats, pushing unreasonable forms of bullshit, even doubting my existence altogether. All I know is that you thought I was weaker than I am.

You sure you quoted the right dude?

Another user here, that's not true.
A gf would improve his self-esteem a lot.

The answers clear as air. If they can respond in a matter of seconds to other post then the same goes for this

>A gf would improve his self-esteem a lot.

No, we see it all the time. People that are constantly worried their girlfriend will leave them, worried they are cheating, worried they are not enough, reading into every change of mood she has, blowing every issue out of proportion, etc. etc.

When you don't like yourself, other people can't convince you that you are worth a damn.

Well, that wasn't how it was for me. In fact, I was the one who dumped my gf. And my self-esteem was so shit at that time to the point where she asked why I can't look her in the eyes.

I kinda feel you replied to me (I'm here ) but the fact that you didn't quote me or said anything when asked if you quoted right is why I didn't reply.

So, are you sure you quoted the right person?

Self-esteem has nothing to do with not being able to look her in the eyes when dumping her. I don't get your point.

What? That wasn't how I dumped her, you fucking idiot. I dumped her by simply ignoring her texts and calls.

I'm crashing this thread with no survivors. How do I learn to like myself?

Then what was the eye thing?

Oh, I get it, sorry, I get it now. She asked you "Why can't you look me in the eyes?" while dating. Later, you dumped her.

Ok, I see.

And you think you love yourself now?

Do things you find valuable. Work to be the type of person you think is worth a damn. And avoid the patterns that make you not like yourself (parent are a great example of the type of thing that sometimes you need to leave behind).

>Oh, I get it, sorry, I get it now. She asked you "Why can't you look me in the eyes?" while dating. Later, you dumped her.
Yes, exactly.
And not really, I do some self-destructive stuff.

So getting a GF didn't help you, you proved my fucking point.

It did though, I was happier and motivated enough to take care of myself.

this may sound weird but i am genuinely unsure if a girl i'm interested in has autism or not. she is very quiet but always uses "precise" movements, she gives stuff to you with two hands at a really slow pace. she's hot as fuck im not sure what is up with her

It was a crutch, man. She is not here anymore, and you fell down. You didn't learn to walk.

That's at self-love or self-esteem, that's putting your worth on other people.

Autistic or not, just because you like her doesn't mean she likes you.

well yeah obviously i just wanted some insight for if she has autism or not

Just sounds like a dead end. Girl messaged me but I didn't message back. Maybe because at the time I was being ran off my ticket with false accusations and threats and the fucking fact shit was being brought up about fucking actual intimate things I felt. Things that that actually made me think it was cause.....no one was around about how I had a fucking sensory overload and how she fucking came to divert and help. Something that made me start looking her way.....Something I even forgot and brought back that moment. Then I ask if it was her and was dumbfounded and felt like a fucking complete nutcase. Twilight zone level doubtfulness. That, shit fucking hurt.