Hi Jow Forums, I'm 26 and I've never touched a girl in my life. What should I do to get a gf?

you dont start with getting a gf, you start with touching a girl, idiot

>being gay is horribly wrong

Everything in baby steps because you're essentially starting with a blank slate at 26. Start by making small talk and getting yourself comfortable with women so that you don't panic and freak the fuck out and push them away. If you try a strategy on a few women and generally they don't take to it then try something else; change your tone of voice or your wording or what you're saying.

If you strike out a thousand times its very OK. Don't feel discouraged! Keep trying and keep improving on yourself and eventually you'll strike gold.

t.tumblr/reddit fag

this. walk up to a girl you like and start rubbing her back. if she looks distressed just remind her that you won't be charging anything.

I am one year younger than you and in the same boat.
I have slowly become convinced that I will never have children of my own, and it is filling me with total apathy and antipathy towards life and society in general.
Why work or do anything at all, if I can't even reproduce? Might as well just fade away and die as the evolutionary dead end I am.

Are you an underaged virgin male or a bitter sjw female?

honestly this.

having sex with a hooker a few times will make you much more relaxed around women and probably more confident around them.

my first few times were with whores when I was 16-17, and later on I managed to seduce women on my own.

JFK lost it to a prostitute too.

Careful there...

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What is the point of this?

Strippers and whores are a good way to get used to intimate female contact. I didn't touch my first boob until I was 25. Women's bodies in general just feel good so it was cathartic on top of being educational.

>What is the point of this?

Whats the point of anything?

I totally relate to being a Sigma or a Lone Wolf.

I don't have good standing in society, am pretty introverted and don't have many friends, but I do have a pretty exciting sex life with multiple women who think I'm edgy and cool.

>I totally relate to being a Sigma or a Lone Wolf.

>I don't have good standing in society, am pretty introverted and don't have many friends, but I do have a pretty exciting sex life with multiple women who think I'm edgy and cool.

user don't lie you just wrote you never touched a girl.

This is a meme. I did the same and once you get used to buying sex you don’t see a point in putting all that work in to get a gf/sex.

Think about:
Either you pay 20-500 bucks and have 100% sex or you start talking to women, text with them, go on dates with them, tell them all the stuff and sex is not garuanteed and it’s a path full of try and error and awkward situations....

>This is a meme. I did the same and once you get used to buying sex you don’t see a point in putting all that work in to get a gf/sex.

>Think about:
>Either you pay 20-500 bucks and have 100% sex or you start talking to women, text with them, go on dates with them, tell them all the stuff and sex is not garuanteed and it’s a path full of try and error and awkward situations....

Sounds like a beta thing to do.

Maybe but It makes my dick feel good. hell and there are prostitutes that do really fucking kinky shit.

I can’t even imagine how a conversation goes in which you suggest pissing in your girlfriends mouth....

>This is a meme. I did the same and once you get used to buying take-out you don't see a point in putting all that work in to get a recipe/meal.

>Think about:
>Either you pay 15-30 bucks and have 100% of the meal cooked for you or you start learning recipes, experimenting with spices and styles, go outside of the recipe's guidelines, try all the seasonings and the food is not guaranteed to be good and it's a path full of trial and error and awkward smells from the kitchen...

You, right now, in this thread, how you sound.
If you don't want your independence, fine. Nobody's asking you to get it. But don't act like you want to be treated like you're independent. Without sex on monetary tap, you'd be in the exact same hole as you are with none of the skills needed to get out.

>Maybe but It makes my dick feel good. hell and there are prostitutes that do really fucking kinky shit.

>I can’t even imagine how a conversation goes in which you suggest pissing in your girlfriends mouth....
Yeah... If I was king it would be off with your head; lucky for you I am not yet king.... But you are sick in the brain.

You are right I can’t even deny it but I’m older then OP and I accepted my faith. I’m married to my job and working out. That’s it. Beta? Sure.

And this wasn’t even the real degenerate stuff. Better start constructing an iron bull ;)

>And this wasn’t even the real degenerate stuff. Better start constructing an iron bull ;)
Don't even want to know what that is...

>You are right I can’t even deny it but I’m older then OP and I accepted my faith. I’m married to my job and working out. That’s it. Beta? Sure.
Definitely a beta and even proud of it. I guess that is why you are a beta and why I am not. I assume you are still the person with the weird piss fantasy.... One day you won't be able to pay a hooker to do this; you simply don't do this to a fellow human being... Then again you are the exact reason why I label myself as God and not a human (I would seriously kill you and defend my right to do so).

>For example you're gay.
Nope, just never had any female attention.

>>For example you're gay.
>Nope, just never had any female attention.

Give attention to them; go for a party with girls from work. Go for a party alone (just talk to random girls).

I once went out with someone who was also a total idiot (in which I showed how easy it is and that it is more about trying and being a bit confident) and then 3 days later he had sex in the dressing room of a club.... It can go that quick just don't become an idiot like that guy he lost my respect as the woman was married.

I'm actually trying to have as much conversations as I can during the day. Any advice for talking with women? Most of the times I can't think up any topics to talk about.

I've never been to a party. How do you find one?

>I'm actually trying to have as much conversations as I can during the day. Any advice for talking with women? Most of the times I can't think up any topics to talk about.

Can't help you there... Just talk about things you like (they should like you) but the best thing is to have them talk (so ask them what they like, why, how come, etc).

Incredible milkers.

To simplify a complex world of relationships into a primitive linear model, so it will fit into a small mind of a typical incel.

>Any advice for talking with women?
Open your mouth, say human words. But most importantly listen.

Don't forget the most important trait: be physically attractive

In my life I've seen such freaks getting laid this advice doesn't hold up.

>In my life I've seen such freaks getting laid this advice doesn't hold up.

Not the guy you replied and I truly want to believe, but I just can't.

Have you really seen these "freaks" get laid/seduce women ?

Are you sure they're freaks and just distinguished ?

Just can't believe you bro.

I'll take bullshitting for 1000, Alex.

>and not distinguished

maybe

also maybe

its about perspective, and OP is probably a sensitive wussy little bitch, so my money is on second user

hate to break it to you user but this is to bait idiots into saying 'i relate with sigma'

Try online dating, or Tinder. Hit the gym and get fit to increase your odds at a stable relationship.

Yeah sometimes they puke because I make my piss extra disgusting. Maybe my fantasies are the reason why I can’t get a gf... life is cruel.

I drink my boyfriend's piss, it's my fetish.

You'll find golden shower gf soon user.

Thanks. How did you even get started talking about it? Did someone just say „hey, would be cool if I could pee in your mouth“?

Just have sex with her while playing some smooth r kelly and the rest will flow naturally

We discussed our fetishes - we were both open about them. He was pulling his pants down to piss in a cup in our room and I told him I wanted to drink every last drop that came out of him. He put down a towel in case, and he regulated his flow, and I drank his rancid piss by the mouthful.

You are dirty. I like it. Will suggest to my first gf and post outcome on adv.