GUIDELINES: Before you post a question, check the FAQ to see if it's already been answered. Keep questions short for more answers. If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question. And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ: >Do girls/guys like ? >What do girls/guys think about There is no one answer. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do? Get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever.
>I like someone. What do I do? >How can I tell if someone likes me? Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys? Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean? Nothing significant. You're overthinking it.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please We're not in their head, we don't know.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this? Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.
>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance? No.
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date? Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, .
>Why is there no new thread? Create one yourself.
>Why am I the only one who makes these threads? Quit your bitching, no one's holding a gun to your head and making you do it.
Girls, I recently found out that a group of 4 girls I made friends with think I'm a fuccboi.
In conversation with one of them I mentioned that it had been a couple of years since I dated anyone and she made a quip about how my tinder game must be amazing by now and I told her I wasn't about that tinder life.
Anyway she said she was surprised because "the way I act" made them think I was a player.
To be clear I'm definitely not a player, and I'm not some 9/10 chad, I can manage a 7/10 on my best day.
Is there anyway to reverse that opinion of me?
Aiden Richardson
No, not really. Besides, why do you care?
Jonathan Moore
Girl here.
Ex-bf (we were only going out for a few months, then he faded away albeit the two of us are still good friends) just got dumped by his crush. Any methods for how I can successfully win him back?
I've invited him out and we're planning on a date, but I want more than that. How should I communicate with him through Skype and text?
Nathaniel Evans
Because I like one of them and my reputation matters to me?
Samuel Williams
Posted in the last thread, post it here too:
There's a cute girl in my classes that I remember from a few years ago
I tried to talk to her back then and got her number, but I was pretty awkward in general and never did anything with it after I got it, which is dumb as fuck.
I'd like to talk to her again but she seems to be in a group of friends, how do I approach this and start talking to her again, considering the awkwardness of the past + that she's in a group?
David Hernandez
You won't be able to change their opinion, but if you're good looking and charming they'll still date you. There's usually a basis for opinions that you're a manwhore, it's a big red flag, but a pretty face is too good to resist.
Jordan Powell
The guy I’m dating is getting really sick of how insecure and jealous I am. I want to stop but it’s so hard when I feel like every other girl is more beautiful than I am. He is really handsome and his ex gf was gorgeous and I can’t understand why he wants me. He used to reassure me and tell me that he finds me attractive but I can tell he’s getting tired of having to constantly reassure me, and I don’t blame him. How do I become more confident?
Ayden Brooks
If it bothers you so much ask them what about the way you act makes them think that, but if you're not doing anything that would give them reason to think that, and they think that anyways, there's no point in caring about it. Just live your life man.
Chase Anderson
I’m a girl and I think you can change their opinion if they get to know you better. It will just take time. I admit sometimes my first or initial impression of a guy is completely off base.
Jayden Sanders
If he dumped you once he'll do it again.
Christian Ortiz
My boyfriend has horrible depression and is always saying he’s dead inside. There’s no way he’ll go to therapy. I love him so much and would do anything for him. How can I help him?
Parker Anderson
Keep having the conversation. He will need therapy. Also remember you can’t always save people from themselves. Your loyalty and love might not be enough. Decide if you can handle such a relationship.
Hudson Morales
In the same position, my bf has resorted to long winded comparisons and such of people who love and marry for non physical attraction (which makes it worse imo).
Just learn to not vocalize your anxiety. You can still feel it but don't moan about it constantly. You really will push him away.
Robert Gonzalez
I asked her what she meant by the way I act and she said it was because I flirted with all of them from the start.
This has been brought to my attention before, and it's not really intentional as such. I make a lot of jokes and my sense of humour can be a bit mean and I'm free with my smile, and all up it makes me seem like I'm teasing and flirting when in reality that's just what my sense of humour is like and it's how I deal with other people, especially new people. Being funny has always been my best way of connecting with new people and when we actually managed to attract a group of pretty girls I admit I turned the charm up to 11 but I didn't want to sound like a slut.
I hope it's possible. My friend and I met them about 4 or 5 weeks ago at a hobby we do, we told them they should come back and they did so we talked more and swapped normiebook and shit and we (my friend and I) are going to hang out with them on the weekend for the first time outside of the mutual hobby.
I'm kind of hoping that being up front with this one girl will spread to the others but I doubt they give enough of a shit to gossip about me just yet.
Jeremiah Cruz
Am I weird for not being interested or maybe even slightly disgusted by the idea of psychological dominance play or outright BDSM and rape fetishism? It seems like basically every girl I meet is into some form of this, statistically there should be exceptions but I don't know of any, and I feel it's actually straining my chances with women. I'm tired of and really sloppy at feigning interest in this stuff and all I really want after a bad day at work is to get along with my significant other and let off some steam together instead of bringing some kind of a "drama fetish" into the picture.
Ayden Moore
As a last resort, leaving is also an option. I know there's no way his depression isn't affecting you, but it doesn't have to. At least not directly and not constantly. And maybe if you leave them he'll find a reason to do something about why he feels empty and dead inside even when he has the love of a good woman. You can't fix him, he has to want to get help, then he has to get help.
Caleb Kelly
Yeah. Lots of women like that out there. Know a whole group of women that have sex only on Friday, like it’s a scheduled date. Whatever you are into, there is a girl that likes the same.
Jeremiah Sanders
Girls, im trying to get with a chick I last spoke to two years ago. we stopped talking mostly because I didn't think I had a chance with her back then and we didn't really live nearby or go to the same school to hang out or do anything. she wasn't into dating than either. im going to ask her anyway, but do I have a chance? any advice?
Julian Anderson
Two years ago is bit of a stretch for hoping something will come of it. But nothing else to advice than, try.
Jayden Robinson
Tbh I'm not sure if your post was addressing the "Am I weird" or the rest of my post. >Whatever you are into, there is a girl that likes the same. Where do I meet her?
Levi Phillips
any advice on how to explain the 2 years of nothing?
Jason Long
Obviously for girls:
Why am I not attractive enough to succeed on tinder and apps like that?
I’ve asked this before but didn’t get any actual replies from a female. I also have bdd which makes my quality of life a living hell and doesn’t cease to occupy my headspace as long as I keep trying and failing at attracting anyone...
How do you meet people and form relationships when you work shitty hours and have no social interactions outside of work?
Jaxon Lee
I'm a girl and I've replied exhaustively to your other threads and now the only thing I can say is: fuck off Brandon
Asher Hughes
You're not ugly. The only flaw I can see is that your eyes are too small, but it's quite a minor thing. You have nice face features.
You look unhappy and uncomfortable in front of the camera, tho. Might be that. I wouldn't contact you, even if I find you cute enough. Try to smile, take better photos around friends or while doing something you love.
William Sullivan
Online dating.
Robert Reyes
How is that a minor thing? Tbh a lot of girls have said I’m not even attractive to them BECAUSE my eyes...
I never thought of them as “too small” like I thought they were fucking normal eyes. I have intense bdd and it causes me to obsess over how I’m being perceived and I read that eyes on guys are important as fuck.
Hudson Taylor
I’m And I make good money and I have been using online dating for over 5 years and have spent a lot of money on it and I get nothing. What’s the next course of action? Suicide? I’m a 26 year old kissless virgin
Angel Baker
They can smell the reek of your mental illness. Get therapy or something, because unfortunately your head issues don't make you seem charismatic or more attractive than you are. They only make you look more creepy than you probably are.
Ian Bennett
Ok but why do I look not attractive enough to get a fucking tinder match or on any other site?
Nathaniel Lopez
Your microexpression conveys mental illness
Carter Jackson
Because it's a minor thing. They're just a little disproportionate. It's not like you're disfigured, or tremendously ugly. You're average.
I think that the main thing is that you give a really weird, kinda creepy vibe. You look nervous, uncomfortable, unhappy. Go to therapy and work on your bdd, try to get happier and it will get better.
Therapy.
Asher Baker
Average is not attractive.... ffs average literally means unattractive... nobody calls average cute
My sisters friends are early 20s and literally told me being called average by a girl is the same as ugly more or less and means you’re not good to her eyes
Just tell me what I can do to be better than that.... I’m short af and not big dick so I OBSESS over my face and want to make it nice even with surgery
Brandon Hill
There's a big negative stigma around online dating in my workplace (I'm a nurse) and frankly I'm afraid of running into people like this
Austin Baker
Also I AM in therapy and have been for fucking years and my therapist said I’m above average and that girls should be seeing me as attractive and not just average every time
She also LIED and said my eyes are by no means small or disproportionate so I’m about to stop seeing her. It’s unhelpful af..... if I was cute enough I’d be SUBJECTIVELY BETTER THAN AVERAGE
average means like any other guy on the street wouldn’t look twice or notice or think about... I would NEVER call a girl I found subjectively pretty fucking average
Average, like attractive, is just subjective. This is what my therapist said.... and she said girls shoukd statisticallu sometimes find me above average
Since this is bullahit OFC I LOOK NERVOUS
Hudson Wilson
Average is average. To me, you're a 6/10. Which is cute enough, really.
Again, I don't think you need surgery or anything. You look okay. Just go to therapy and better yourself.
Ethan Flores
I work in healthcare too... and I’m him.... maybe I wouldn’t be so fucking miserable and crazy if I could just get a fucking match!!!!
Noah Flores
No wonder chicks dodge you
Easton Russell
It's probably more something you perceive than something real. Basically 3/4 of the people I know in the medical field are on tinder.
Blake Rodriguez
6 is my least favorite number and it’s always been bad luck for me.
I want to be a SEVEN
7 is attractive but not amazing... that’s why it’s not 10 or even 8... 7s have flaws but ACTUALLY ARE attractive... if it was just my eyes then why does it knock my face down 4 whole points?? That’s not minor.... my sisters college friends say they want a guy who’s AT LEAST a 7 to them
THIS IS WHY IM LIKE THIS
6 is not good enough for myself. I want a girl I personally think is a 7
Please just say how I can be a 7... I’ll get surgery. Just say how I can improve PLEASE I’m willing to spend all my savings
Is tinder not just some casual hook up app for cheap flings in your area?
Gabriel Bennett
This is meI WORK IN THE MEDICAL FIELD IN NYC AND PAY FOR TINDER AND CANNOT GET A MATCH
WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME AND WHY CANT I GET A FUCKING MATCH MAKING 100k????? WHAT CAN I DO TO FUCKING MAKE MYSELF ACTUALLY MODERATELY ATTRACTIVE??
Leo Rogers
No it’s not my sister met her fucking bf on tinder
Carter Gomez
user, I mean it, get help. You really don't seem to be mentally sound, and I don't think it's only BDD. Understand that they way you are - not the way you look - is the reason why women don't like you. Your looks is fine, 6 or 7, who cares when your entire aura is just... very negative.
Camden Roberts
How about you 2 start working out
James Long
met a girl recently when out on the town recently and hit it off, think shes great and i'm pretty sure she wants to fuck soon and will see her again friday
but I dont want to take it that far (moral reasons), how do I tell her (without offending her) while at the same time wanting to keep seeing her
voluntarily celibate for context
Asher Morgan
I CANT GET HELP THE ONLY HELP IS PEOPLE THINKING IM A SEVEN OUT OF TEN
I LNOW WHAT A FUCKING 7 IS
ID LITERALLY RATHER DIE AT AGE 40 of cancer and be actually found attractive and loved than be a mediocre 6 with a weird short body and small dick
I HATE THE HAND I WAS DEALT AND NO THERAPY OR PILL CHANGES WHAT PEOPLE SEE WHEN THEY SEE MY FACE
Charles Fisher
Lol ok The guy I fancy is way uglier than you but he isn't mental case and has big dick Stay crazy, virgin boi
Christian Lee
Don't give it (You)s.
Austin Brooks
Brandon, dude, these numbers are unsignificant. They're subjective and change from one person to another. Also, you have to understand women are different from men on this. If you're an average looking guy and have lots of qualities, they'll find you more attractive than a guy who's good looking but no other quality whatsoever. You have to understand that your problem is your insane insecurities and not your actual looks. You know what, I'm even gonna go asf ar as to say that if you think facial surgery will make you less insecure and more of a normally functioning human being, go for it. But you have to understand that it's all in your head and you're perfectly fine as is, physically.
Luke Sanders
I don’t fucking care
Just say why my face is below 7... JUST ONE FLAW DOESNT MAKW SOMBODY NEXT TO HALF BAD
Brody Robinson
They are not insignificant it’s like eating an album or movie.. IF MY FACE WAS FINE SOME PEOPLE WOULD LITERALLY RATE ME HIGHER THAN JUST 6... I’ve seen pretty basic guys rated 8 and 9 CONSISTENTLY on soc
And I’m going insane because OF THEY ARE JUST SUBJECTIVE THEN WHY HAVE I NEVER BEEN RATED A 7!!! Why is the highest rate I’ve ever gotten just a fucking 6????? I’ve been posting the same questions for years and have had thousands of people reply sayinf the same shit
Ryan Watson
LITERALLY JUST SAY WHY ITS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO LOOK GOOD EVEN WITH SURGERY
Michael Clark
WHY CANT YOU JUST SAY 7
Why 6 OR 7??? What’s the hesitation? Nobody can say I’m just a 7... 7 isn’t 10... or close to it
Hudson Barnes
This is going to be me... just another sad reality of the disorder... it’s like having anorexia but people literally around you saying YOU ARE FAT, YOU LOOK MEDIOCRE
What are the flaws with my face that make me less than attractive
Thomas Walker
Small eyes far from each other, big nose, facial expression like you are about to slit my throat and start crying simultaneously
Robert Clark
Why don't you consult an actual plastic surgeon about your concerns if you're actually willing to invest cash? IMO - and just judging from my own (!) taste, not every girl's - a clean shave of all that facial hair would be enough for a 7-rating. Surgery-wise you could try getting a more defined, less-wide nose, but desu I think it suits your face just fine already.
tl;dr - You're too obsessed with looks when all you should care about is getting financial gains. Those generally trump looks anyway.
Nathan Russell
What can I do to change it? Would a nose job bump me to a 7??? I look miserable because I AM because NOBODY EVER LIKED MY FACE
Jaxson Collins
I already make 100k and have money.... it literally doesn’t make a difference I’d rather be poor as dirt and capable of attracting a girl with my looks
I am entirely confident that when I shave I look worse... girls irl literally asked how come I shaved when I did last time and I also get folliculitis
Why can’t the stubble suit me? It seems the only thing that makes me look close to my age (26)
Kevin Young
I've seen you rated 7 and higher on /soc/, fuck off. Nowadays you're just too famous there, you can't expect honest answers from /soc/ because you're you, try somewhere else. But like I said, your face is fine, just try and be normal and talk to girls.
Julian Jackson
>Just say why.... that’s all I want to know Because you have a shitty attitude and reek of insecurity and girls can pick up on that a mile away. First impressions are the most important part of whether you will like or dislike someone. Your posturing is slouched with a neutral look on you which isn't appealing. Every time you see a picture of a chad they are always chin up, shoulders back and smiling/happy. Very confidence posturing. You're also looking directly at the camera lens, don't do that. Look at an imaginary spot about 2 to 3 inches above the lens. Another problem is that you haven't shaved. It doesn't make you seem rugged or chiselled, just lazy. It looks even worse if you have a weak jawline (yours isn't weak, just okay). Facial hair can work but it has to be well groomed. Neckbeards are fucking gross and a big no no. You have some acne which is obviously bad, try some clearasil or something. Overall you're physically average. Neither good, nor bad. You won't stand out of a crowd. It's your attitude that's fucking hideous and puts girls off. You can see it instantly in your photos. Girls have spent millennia honing their ability to detect this to find suitable mates. If you can't improve it then you're shit out of luck. Don't bother (You)ing me. Fuck off Brandon.
Gavin Morales
Like I said, just my preference - I don't like hairy mugs. Others might love them.
Well, if all else fails - and from the vibes I'm getting from your posts - it might be your attitude. Stay cool, don't be needy, don't be desperate, don't be clingy.
Liam Johnson
Guys: So I tried to reach out to my old friend with whom I lost touch some time ago. I sent him a message and he responded the same day and it seemed like he felt enthusiastic about talking with me again and even suggested some activity together. I messaged him back in a similar way and... no response from him. It's been over a week so I'm a bit confused. I don't think I said anything rude in my last message so I don't get why he went silent. Any ideas?
What surgery can I get to be more standout in a crowd? I am below average height.... I don’t want an average face
I have so much money saved that I want to use it to fix my face
I am not okay with standing out to NOBODY
Henry Wright
What are things you consider if an ex wants to get back with you?
Andrew Cruz
Please answer this... as somebody suffering with bdd for fucking years on end.... I promise you my personality or attitude is impossible to change as long as my fucking looks appeal to NO ONE SUBJECTIVELY
Jackson Nelson
>Date this shy waifish girl >Third date she admits she forgot to wear underwear Fucking hell, are all girls this retarded? How do you forget this kind of shit?
I’m only 5’7” and I know it’s a big factor which is why I don’t ever say my height online dating and don’t hbe it in my profile
The reason I want a nice, not average at best face is because I want to compensate for my height so fucking much.... and I wouldn’t even care if some opinions varried and some people did find me attractive
Brandon, mate, you are a midget but have the nerve to ask why you can't be a 7? Girls rate holistically. Which means she's thinking about your personality and success and whatnot in addition to your face. Being 5'7" is the thing that's really fucking you over.
Andrew Lee
Okay this gave me a chuckle here's your (you)
Carter James
Okay so should I just end my miserable life? Especially since nobody ever liked my face...
I never even thought height mattered much till I got on Jow Forums....
Benjamin Cook
>I never even thought height mattered much till I got on Jow Forums.... Because it doesn't.
Levi Foster
To some extent it does, but in Brandon's case it doesn't even matter.
Ryder Lee
Except it does. Tall and handsome is better than short and handsome
Jonathan Brown
I would rather be with a dude that's 5'9 than a dude that's 7'4
Robert Turner
Yeah but you're not a woman and we're not talking about you extremes. We are talking about averages.
Asher Turner
It's not simply that it's tiring to reassure an insecure person. At a certain point, by clutching to your insecurity, you're basically saying anyone who loves you is either a liar or an idiot with bad taste. Self hatred is just another form of self obsession. Step outside yourselves for a moment to actually witness how the ones who love you look at you, and embrace the chance to connect with them rather than questioning them.
Luke Cox
I don't know what authoritarian country you live in where a 22 year old dating a 17 year old would be considered rape. And as I said, I would want to talk to her outside of the school context so we are in a neutral position in regards to each other. Of course I wouldn't try to use my teacher's position for my advantage, that would be creepy af indeed. I don't want to force anything on her, it's just that I'm taking a liking to her and she seems to be taking a liking to me. In that regard I don't see what is creepy about this.
Charles Lewis
Yes, my boyfriend has said that it's insulting when I vocalize my insecurities and belittles his affection.
What if when I try to step outside of myself, all I see are malicious reasons he might be with me? For example, because I'm young, naive, manipulatable, a place holder, he'll dump me once a better girl comes along?
David Howard
At least tell me how to be habsksne sick I cannot change my height
>I don't know what authoritarian country you live in where a 22 year old dating a 17 year old would be considered rape. Read the post, creeper. Statutory Rape is when a person in authority above another, usually teacher/student relationships, occur.
Anthony Mitchell
Just save him the trauma of dating you, a childlish and mentally unstable roastie, and dump him
Kevin Price
Read the rest of my post. I don't intent on using any authority to force her to do anything, I even stated that I would want to make contact with her outside of the school context explicitly because we would be on neutral grounds.
Jose White
>Of course I wouldn't try to use my teacher's position for my advantage But you do.
Brandon Bailey
Not how it works. She views you as a teacher. Meeting her elsewhere or "not abusing it" isn't enough.
Samuel Allen
Just met the new gf of my bf's best friend and I know her and never likes her. When I was 18/19 she and I worked at Hooters but a few of us, started stripping at a kinda nasty club a few nights a week. I'm not proud of it and tried to put it behind me and my bf doesn't know about the club, does about Hooters, and ok with that.
Problem is my bf's best friend is a wild guy and dating her because she is a stripper. She gave me a wicked smile all night when we met and mouthed does he know pointing to my bf's back. Talking to my bf after, he thought she was pretty but talked shit about her, wondering why his friend is with a stripper.
I am petrified she'll tell her bf and he will tell mine. She doesn't owe me anything and like I said we never really got along.
So, would this be a deal breaker for you guys? I'm almost 21 and been almost 2 years since I last worked there.
Jaxson Lopez
How? Just because there is one place where I am in a position of authority over her, that means that everywhere else that is the same? I cannot ever talk to her in a context where I am not her teacher and she is not my student? That is retarded. My cousin, when he was 21, started dating his 26 teacher. No one saw anything creepy about this. My case is creepy just because one of the people involved is one year shy of 18?
Aiden Gomez
You sound like one of those fucking creeps who bang their stepdaughter and claim "I didn't abuse my authority, really! She just liked me, and completely forgot I have been functioning as a male authority figure for her!"
Hudson Rivera
>Just because there is one place where I am in a position of authority over her, that means that everywhere else that is the same? Yes, exactly. >My cousin, when he was 21, started dating his 26 teacher. Sick fuck. Hope that teacher got jail time.
Henry Edwards
Why are you being creepy like that mate? If you are her teacher then you are a figure of authority in the school and outside it. >My cousin, when he was 21, started dating his 26 teacher. No one saw anything creepy about this. It is still somewhat creepy and inappropriate, obviously less because she's not 17 or whatever. There is a substantial developmental difference between 17 and 21 If you don't want to be a creep maybe just took a liking to someone who isn't your underage student hmmm?
Josiah Cooper
How many dicks did you suck while doing it?
There's always that element of it's easy to shit talk someone else's girlfriend but your own gets a pass on things that you'd never tolerate from anyone else. As long as you express regret at working there, stress that it was very temporary, then you're probably fine.
Wyatt Hughes
Ok, you people are insane. Comparing a student and a teacher liking each other with a stepfather fucking his stepdaughter, saying a 21 and 26 couple is sick simply because they met in context where one was the other's teacher, and saying that a teacher/student relation spreads to every single interaction between the two people and they can't ever interact as anything but... Seriously, this is all complete non-sense. I'm going to figure out this thing on my own and with the help of RL friends, since this place is clearly filled with loonies. And if you guys and up being right and I get arrested or people get weirded out by what's happening, then I'll concede the point. Until then, I think you are bufoons.
Dominic Long
Think about your relationship and how (presumably) insane it would be for that to be the case. I say all this as an insecure person myself with the same fears. I've had all kinds of paranoid theories run through my head about why my boyfriend is "really" with me. And yeah, someone who buys me things on a whim, says all kinds of sweet shit, and fucks me like a very adventurous rabbit could very well be using me. But someone who's using me wouldn't text me all day just to see how I'm going, wouldn't stay up late to talk to me on Skype when we're apart, wouldn't nurse me back to health when I'm sick, wouldn't always be the one to put a stop to sexual things when he sees that it's too much for me and I'm only doing it to please him, wouldn't hold me when I cry and ask me how I'm feeling, wouldn't introduce me to his equally lovely family who have nothing but good things to say about him (they can't ALL be manipulative psychos!). After a certain point, if your relationship consists of anything below the surface, the idea of it being a farce is just crazy. It's okay to have these kinds of thoughts, but it's a choice to let them take over. Acknowledge how you feel, and use logic as your tool to let that feeling go. And for all the horror stories you hear about people who unknowingly marry serial killers or join cults or what have you, realise that those stories are often a result of the victim not having any such worries. If you're worried, you're aware enough to spot any genuine red flag and KNOW it's real. Paranoia is just paranoia, and that's something you need to learn to let go. When you stubbornly hold onto your insecurities, you're willing them into reality. Become fearful enough that he'll leave you, and he'll eventually be left with no other option. You're scared that he doesn't really love you, well how do you think it feels for the person you love to think you might be a monster? Is that really love?
