Never had any signs of attraction from women at college

How many times must you be told that you are wrong? That you lie to us and yourself? You literally do not want a girlfriend, if you did you would not be such a liar that no girl on the planet is interested in you because you are a special snowflake.

Are you the guy who claims that no girl wants to be more than friends with you, and that you refuse to approach a girl until she has "shown interest"?

In what way am I lying?

I go outside, I go to parties and bars, I speak to girls. Most are very friendly to me but none flirt with me or show any signs of being interested in me as a partner. It’s purely platonic conversation. There is no lie. This is just reality.

I’m not sure how I suddenly became famous on adv but ok

I’m sick and tired of it. I’d love to never post here again. But things never get any better. No one gives me any advice other than “ask out girls who aren’t interested”. No one tells me how to overcome the crushing, debilitating fear of rejection I have

>No one tells me how to overcome the crushing, debilitating fear of rejection I have
You get over it by exposing yourself to it. That's literally the answer. Ask out some girls and take that risk.

>take shots in the dark and ruin friendships until it gets better

You probably aren't good-looking then, sorry bro.

Because you create this same fucking thread every day, ignore all advice, and repeat the same inane ramblings like a broken record. You do not want advice, you do not want to improve. You only want to wallow in self-pity.

You don't ask your best female friends on a date. Ask out girls you know a little (but enough to know that you're interested). Yes, if you ask someone out and they say no it will ruin any relationship between you in 99% of cases, but that's part and parcel.

Do you show signs of attraction towards women?

When you talk to then, listen intently and don't gaze around look at their eyes. Nod during conversation. Compliment something about them (nothing sleazy but still superficial), close distance between the two of you during conversation. Make a stupid joke, talk about your interests. Most of all, don't give a fuck whether she contributes to the conversation or not. You're doing this for yourself.

Some women don't show interest till the men do.

We've been over this with him, and he admits he never shows signs of attraction on his end but also refuses to do it unless a girl does it first.

In the last thread of his I was in we got down to "but how do I flirt?" before I noped out.

Another thread of people who have had girls show signs of attraction to themselves telling OP that it is unreasonable for him to expect the same. These are my favorite.

gf i used to have i known before the relationship for 1.5 years she said she was crusing on me for a long time and i couldn't pick it up WHATSOEVER. you should ask girls out

>1.5 years
Further proof that women's ideas of hints are total shite.

It's unreasonable for him to expect the same when he doesn't know how to flirt and won't put himself out there as a potential romantic prospect. Women see me that way because that's how I position myself. I flirt with them and I avoid being too platonic with them if I'm interested.

It's like anything else in that you've got to put work in. This guy is the equivalent of "I don't go to the gym but my muscles should be big anyway, right?"

But I can’t expose myself to it because the fear of rejection is SO strong that I can’t even bring myself to take the first step

With asking out girls there’s no “kiddy pool” so to speak. I have to throw myself in at the deep end. That’s too scary for me

Fuck you

You don’t know what I would give to be free of this emotional prison

I do try doing these things when I like a girl but it never works. Like sure they don’t seem repulsed or put off by it but they don’t reciprocate

It’s like women just have a neutral view of me. They aren’t DISGUSTED by me, or at least don’t seem to be. But they don’t seem to be attracted to me either

Well, as I’m a dateless virgin, things are different

For a regular guy they can feel some degree of confidence flirting with a girl because they know they’ve met girls who were interested in them before

With me, because I’m a dateless virgin, I CANT know that girls are interested in me. I have no evidence that any woman has ever viewed me as attractive. So if I were to flirt and show interest first, I’m taking a MUCH LARGER and scarier risk than 99% of guys do when they do the same

i agree with you, but in my case
she wasn't trying to hint at all because she thought i don't want to date her. i really wasn't but after getting to know her i wanted to give it a shot so i asked straight up.
girls that are overly signaling are kind of iffy in my opinion

bro you are thinking about this way too much and how you emphasize certain words make me feel like you're a bit of a cunt irl. stop watching jordan peterson and take it easy my cunt

>I have no evidence that any woman has ever viewed me as attractive.

>When I was in high school I was funny looking, depressed and awkward, and I still occasionally had girls crushing on me (though I never acted on them)

You are delusional.

There is a kiddy pool. Go to a club and ask a girl to dance. Alternatively, since you seem to know already that you have to ask a girl out to get over the fear, why don't you tell me what you think will be the outcome if you never even try to get past this fear and never ask a girl out ever?

depressionalliance.org/vulnerable-narcissism/#What_is_Vulnerable_Narcissism

I don’t watch Jordan peterson lmao. I’m actually very left wing and liberal but that’s beside the point

I think about it way too much because this is my life’s struggle. I’ve struggled my entire adult life and most of my teenage life to figure out why girls don’t like me

So tell him how to position himself. You use all these vague terms that someone like OP will never understand.

I kissed a couple girls at clubs in the past year but it hasn’t made me any more confident. I still get really dry responses from every girl in the “outside world”. It’s just that a couple times I’ve been lucky that drunkenness and loud music have made one or two girls fleetingly attracted to me

The outcome if I never ask a girl out is being a dateless virgin forever. I know that. Because I made threads like this on r9k and adv when I was 16/17 years old, and I am now 22, and the same problems are here even though my life has progressed leaps and bounds in other ways. I’m terrified for the future. I’m terrified I’ll graduate college a dateless virgin

I relate to this a lot yeah

>I CANT know that girls are interested in me
When I was 17/18 I was friends with a girl who was a couple of years younger (but she was the sister of one of my schoolmates so we ended up running in the same social circles). We attended the same house parties, went to the movies with our group of friends, talked daily, and most importantly every time we got drunk we'd end up making out.

Now, by this point I'd had a few girlfriends and I had a good idea of what it looked like when a girl was into me. The fact that we made out any time we had the excuse was a bit of a dead giveaway.

Anyway one day we were going out to the movies in a big group and I went to pick her up separately for some reason. We stopped back at my house to kill 15 mins before going to the cinema and we were sitting on my bed, it was about as strong a 'moment' as you ever come across, and I decided it was time to stop beating around the bush and ask her to be my gf.

And I was fucking terrified. Of asking out a girl who'd had her tongue in my mouth dozens of times, to whom I spoke every day, who people (including her sister) were constantly hinting that I should ask her out or asking if we were dating. I was so scared that I barely whispered it and she made me say it again, but louder.

The point of this story is to illustrate that no matter how sure you are that a girl likes you, you cannot conquer this fear of rejection entirely. In your case I believe strongly that a girl could grab your dick and you'd still be too much of a pussy to even consider that she might be showing interest in you.

Oh man I've tried. I tried at length in the first thread I was in. Mostly I got a lot of deflection and repetition out of him "but if she doesn't show interest I won't do anything," kind of shit.

>In your case I believe strongly that a girl could grab your dick and you'd still be too much of a pussy to even consider that she might be showing interest in you.

Yes. This happened almost word for word (can’t remember if she grabbed my dick but she certainly came close) when I was 18 and I sat there frozen and internally shitting myself

I need a girl to say, in actual words, that she is attracted to me.

Actually, no, I need even more than that. Girls have told me I’m attractive before but I have to brush it off cause they never give enough additional signals for me to view it as a genuine flirty comment

I NEED a girl to tell me she’s attracted to me, while touching me, and then I probably also need her to force her tongue down my throat

I know it will never happen. But that’s what I need. I’m too scared to do any initiating at all by myself

This thread again... you are not as handsome or attractive as you think you are, or you are like Brandon, meaning that your mental issues or whatever are easily discernible and it makes girls keep their distance. Protip: no amount of reposting this thread will lower your creepiness/blandness

>I know it will never happen.

Looks like we've resolved your question then and you can stop making these threads.

I know that it’s Jow Forums and it’s cool to make these snarky ass comments, but you don’t HAVE to do this. You could give me some actual advice and help me out

There is a real human being behind the screen. I have emotions. I want help

You've received lots of actual help and you dismiss it all because it involves making some kind of change in your behaviour or taking some kind of risk when those are the two solutions.

You seem to think the risk is small. It’s not. The risk of what you’re asking me to do, for me, is massive

I don’t know what will happen to me if I get rejected. The last time I asked a girl out was when I was 17. Rejection could destroy my life. It could ruin me. Do you not understand that?

Explain to me in minute detail how a rejection could ruin your life.

>ask a girl out
>she says no
>wow that hurts my pride, ego, and feelings
>will never be good friends with her
>4 weeks later
>you no longer give a fuck

>I want help
You don't, I've seen enough of your threads to know that people offer you applicable advice but you always ignore it or try to debunk it. And you just said that you want something impossible, so what kind of advice do you expect to get now? Things like that don't happen irl, no woman will ever coddle you THAT much, unless you get a whore and demand this particular service. Your mental issues and pathological insecurity, these are not things Jow Forums will help you with. Do you really want to get help? Go to a mental health specialist.

>Rejection could destroy my life. It could ruin me. Do you not understand that?
And you call yourself a man? Good god my dude, have some dignity...

Attached: 1527105007952.jpg (500x307, 20K)

>You seem to think the risk is small. It’s not. The risk of what you’re asking me to do, for me, is massive
I've never seen your previous threads but you give Elliot Roger vibes.

>hurting my pride/ego

That could destroy me. My self esteem is already fragile because I’m a dateless virgin. Rejection will make it worse. Then I’ll be a rejected dateless virgin

I just want someone to tell me the magic answer that will make it all better

When I make these threads I’m secretly hoping someone will post here massaging my ego and telling me that I’m attractive and can get girls. That’s what I need

I’m so so so sick and tired. I don’t want to be a dateless virgin anymore

chuckdegroat.net/2018/06/28/when-narcissism-doesnt-look-so-grandiose-vulnerable-narcissism/

Get help dude.

>When I make these threads I’m secretly hoping someone will post here massaging my ego and telling me that I’m attractive and can get girls. That’s what I need
Jow Forums is not your hugbox and won't be. Go on Tumblr if you need that kind of bullshit. I think you need a reality check, like most anons on this site: your low self-esteem, lack or maturity, abnormal need for validation from other people and mental issues make you undateable. You can be a 10/10 looks-wise, but with rotten mentality you have, no normal woman will ever touch you with a ten feet pole. If you want help, go to mental health specialist and sort out your issues. That's all.

I’ve had therapy for years. It hasn’t helped

I NEED validation. I NEED women to love me. I crave it so badly.

Here's a pro tip for you, that I can't believe you haven't figured out by your age: everyone's self-esteem is shit. Some people do okay, but by and large we all hate ourselves to one degree or another simply because we are each our own harshest critic.

Every man who has ever asked out a woman in history has overcome his own self-esteem issue and fear of rejection. If you can't even do that then you have bigger problems and need to look harder at yourself than you are right now.

>I just want someone to tell me the magic answer that will make it all better
We know, which is why you're so particularly annoying. Also even if we did tell you that girls like you you'd dismiss it and say "why don't they show it then!!?!?!?!" like the answer isn't obvious.

I mean shit, the first reply to this thread is someone telling you that girls are interested, you just aren't noticing it.

Why do you people insist on replying in these threads? You've clearly lost all hope for this guy. Do you actually enjoy watching him squirm and relish in the fact that you're not as scared of the world?

High school and collage girls function completely different.

>I’ve had therapy for years. It hasn’t helped
Try different therapist, different approach or different medication

>I NEED validation. I NEED women to love me. I crave it so badly.
And I NEED Mary Poppins to give me a blowie while flying on her magical umbrella above Mussolini's grave. I REALLY FUCKING CRAVE IT
tough luck friendo, we usually don't get what we want, and women don't own you affection nor validation. I advise you to come to terms with this.

>Do you actually enjoy watching him squirm and relish in the fact that you're not as scared of the world?

Yes. I have real problems that I try to dismiss as being unimportant given the things that other, even less fortunate, people face on a daily basis, and it's healthy to get this reality check and remind myself that my issues are so much bigger than rampant narcissism.

Likely because the therapist hasn't been able to identify that you have highly pronounced narcissistic traits. This type of narcissism is the more unusual kind and often manifests symptoms similar to depression or anxiety even though the thought patterns have a different origin. Vulnerable narcissism = Delusional ego and narcissistic thought patterns coupled with a lack of positive validation and affirmation, Elliot Rodger likely suffered from this.

you're like a kid standing on top of the waterslide being too much of a pussy to go down it

But can you not understand that my self esteem issues are obviously bigger?

I genuinely don’t think there is anyone in the world who is as scared of romantic rejection as I am

The worst thing is that a few years ago I wasn’t even this bad, I was just lazy/stupid. But over the years I’ve built up my dateless virginity status to be so massive that asking a girl out is now an insurmountable task.

Can you explain how?

Okay so I can’t get the validation I crave. But can I not get ANY at all? Not even a bit? Not even a bit of flirting or admiration from a girl? It’s been years since I last felt the admiration of a woman. Like I said, in high school girls used to crush on me, but in college no one ever does

how is your relationship with your mother?

>I genuinely don’t think there is anyone in the world who is as scared of romantic rejection as I am
Vulnerable narcissists are the biggest plague on society these day. We honestly need to create suicide booths so they can kys themselves

Why be so cruel? I didn’t ask to be born this way

You need a perspective check. People your age are dying of cancer and starvation and fighting in wars and missing limbs and living in poverty and your biggest problem is that you're worried a girl will say thanks but no thanks when you ask her out for coffee?

>be me, a femanon
>somewhat motherly and nurturing
>like almost exclusively shy quiet nerds who aren't completely crazy
>somehow all guys with these traits I dated turn out to be mental ward cases like OP
Feels bad. I just want to have an adorable nerdy bf with weird but cute character who will let me take care of him and sensually fuck me whenever he wants. All guys like this seem to be damaged beyond repair though :(

You're probably boring

How shy are we talking? I fit the rest of the bill but I'm not particularly shy because I trained myself not to be when I was younger.

It feels horrible. I’m obsessed. Whenever I’m alone and unoccupied my thoughts drift right back to my dateless virginity. I’ve been known to cry myself to sleep over it

I’m not a “nerd”. Never been into that kind of culture. So I’m not your type of guy anyway

you're gonna get what you need, not what you want. the fact you're absolutely obsessed over this and won't fucking stop thinking about it means it's all the better that you're not getting any pussy right now.
this is what my instinct tells me: unironically, you need to get your ass whooped. you need to be at a bar or at a social function somewhere and get pissed off and say the wrong thing to some other guy and have him put you in check. after that you might see things a bit differently.

Not cripplingly shy, but not totally extroverted either. Just shy enough to make him sometimes blush and stutter with lewd comments or actions

If anything that would convince him that hitting on girls without clear consent is wrong and make him need the signs he desperately craves for even more.

No good then. I'm a thorough introvert but I'm not going to blush or stutter enough for your tastes. Too confident and comfortable in myself.

Good luck on your search.

Thanks, and good luck to you too :)

>basing your entire self-worth as a human being on what random thots in bars think of you
wowie zowie my dude. I have huge social anxiety and haven't asked a girl on a date in roughly 2 years and even I don't debase myself this much.

Because you’re probably the typical Jow Forums introvert. You don’t really care what people or society think about you

I, on the other hand, am mostly extroverted. I enjoy the company of people and I want them to think highly of me

I just want to be a real human being. Is that too much to ask?

I want to be free

THERAPY you narcy basketcase

No amount of therapy can calm the thousand voices in my head screaming at me all hours of the day in horrific tones

>I am too special and complicated for therapy!!!
t. narcy

In college I was in great shape and dressed well and I omen didn’t seem into me. Now I’m 30 fat and dress like shit and got young girls lining up
To be with me

you're not special, you're just not making enough of an effort, or maybe you're focusing in the wrong things. Everybody can change their personality, the problem is that a lot of people just don't realize how fleeting personality is.

Fascinating. Do they form the queue at your door or do you meet them halfway somewhere? Serious question.

You're an American, aren't you?