What the fuck was my week?

What the fuck was my week?

Co-worker I had a crush on meets a new guy, and brags about it to the rest of the office; so already, that put me in a foul mood. But then she invites us out with him last Friday night, and while the guy wasn't the worst douche I've met, it still made my eyes roll that she's wasting his time with him.

Anyway, he's telling jokes, and making everyone (but me) laugh. Finally, one joke was essentially a "x within x" Inception joke, with the "In" replaced with some other word. Which I absolutely hate, no matter who's telling that joke, because it's basically misusing what the word "inception" means. So I told him that's not how you use it, and that he was thinking of "recursion" or something similar, and accidentally blurted out "you fucking retard!" I know I blurted something like that out, because the entire room immediately fell silent. He then pulls her to the side to privately talk with her, and then simply leaves. Suddenly she's screaming and crying at me and calling me "asshole" and "jerk" and slapping me around; everyone had to pull her off, and told me to go home. I quickly learned that "because" of my little outburst, he broke up with her on the spot over it.

Starting Monday, there was a different atmosphere to the office. People were more quiet and keeping to themselves; almost like they're avoiding me. HR then has me come in, because she filed complaints against me related to what happen, while other coworkers, who were present at the time, corraborated her story. They then put me on paid leave until they figure out "where [I] stand with the company."

I don't know where to begin.

Attached: wtf-man.jpg (600x588, 41K)

Maybe don't be a freak next time. You should have gotten all of this shit out of your system in high school. Consider this a lesson you learned a little too late.

you acted like a fucking retard

why did you go out with your crush and her new bf in the first place? and also why would that make him break up with her? and why does HR care what happens off company premises so damn much?

I don't believe any of this.

You've been retarded.
Not saying you deserve it, but hey. Don't really feel sorry for you.

cringiest most autistic shit I ever read, OP immediately kill yourself

Okay let's make this clear from the get go. You didn't like the dude.
What you said was definitely pushing bounds but their collective reaction was pretty fucking weird lol.
Especially the guy breaking up with her on the spot instead of confronting you about it or coming to a reasonable conclusion.
Her reaction was also completely unwarranted. I hate it when women get abruptly physical like that. Even if he did break up with her because of you.
And in conclusion I don't exactly understand what the company has to do with that. You oughta grow a back bone and confront the HR department about it because of the fact that they have no legitimate reason to put you on paid leave. At least ask for a constructive and valid reason.

put me in the screencap

Ahahahahahaha lol

thanks for the laugh

dude you gotta chill out. The world is full of dumbass retarded douchebags.
Also HR shouldn't be able to fire you for this. I would file for wrongful termination if they let you go. Or atleast threaten them for a good severance package.

I love this story and I want you in the worst possible way! I love a hateful jealous bitch!