before you teach him how to masturbate Jow Forums? I busted my first nut when I was 12 (priest taught me how to at Catholic school) so 8 years old seems too early to me, but that is what they’re teaching in the public schools now. Was Protestantism a mistake, Jow Forums? Some people are even starting to say that 5 is a good age to start now.
dailymail.co.uk
I was 2 when I taught myself how to masturbate. You shouldn't have to teach your kids about that unless they are retarded or something.
>>Be me, 13
>>Go to goodie goodie Catholic school wheee sex stuff wasn’t taught
>>Have visceral fantasies about Meghan Fox after watching Transformer movie
>>Feel extremely frustrated with a hard on. Try my usual method of dry humping my mattress but as usual no relief.
>>Decide to google “wanking” and hear about moving your hand up and down.
>>Try it and end up coming lightening fast
I’m retarded
I have no idea why parents would even tell their kids about that shit in the first place. The later they find out, the better. They'll probably figure out what masturbation is when they're like 10 anyway because they have the internet.
you mean the kids at your school weren't making sex jokes at lunch breaks yet?
They were and I never understood any of it. I used to think girls peed out of their butts. I heard boys talk about “fingering” and “getting her wet”. I had no idea. My parents thought it was too “lewd” to talk about.
sheeit, niggas at my school taught me about vertical dancing, two person limbo, and other clever analogies by the 3rd grade. Beavis and Butthead, Dumb and Dumber, and Ace Ventura Pet Detective memes also contributed to my sexual vocabulary around 7th grade.
*horizontal dancing
sorry I'm still hungover from last night
I fathered my daughter when I was 13.
If you refuse to teach your children about sex and, more importantly, the consequences they may bring, at least don't spout bullshit about "the stork" or something.
I was to obsessed with my Pokemon Walker thing to care about all that. It was an all boys school too.
>dry humping a mattress
Yes this is what retards do
It was all I knew. It felt good
i had my first fap when i was 10. i found my older cousins erotic picture stash, got a hardon and started playing with it
>act like teaching children to masturbate isn’t paedophilia
Paedophiles
That's what sleeping men do
>it's called a wet dream
Never. Have the teacher teach them in a class.
You don't have to teach your kids disgusting habits like that. Buy them a fucking guitar.
that'd probably get them laid faster
sounds comfy, must have been all white school eh?
Yeah it was 90%
I bet it more like 60% blacked now
let them figure it out on their own
Just let him watch when you fuck the family dog. He'll learn it by himself.
No it’s still really Huwite. The school is across the street from me. It was a top tier childhood
Could be worse. I knew a literal retard who squirted lotion between couch cushions and fucked his parents couch in the living room. He also spit dip on their carpet.
Where the fuck does it end
just put a plastic baggy in a hot pocket what a dumbass
No. You shouldn't teach your kid how to do this. Masturbation leads to nothing but misery. Don't fall for the "its normal and healthy" (((meme)))
>t. boomer
If you want to get your kid layed give him some face tattoos and Xanax and tell him to be a Soundcloud rapper.
Dogfucking is an anti-Leafite canard and most of us don’t indulge in it. Plus only getting fucked by, or receiving oral, from animal is legal now. A human penetrating a dog is still illegal, which makes sense. The stated legal reason for bestiality having been illegal was that animals can’t consent because the can’t speak. Balderdash. Can you legitimately argue that an animal has not consented when he’s the one doing the fuckin and is the aggressor in the situation? Of course not! Just plain old common sense at play here.
>be 7, sailor moon starts airing on local tv, get all flustered watching sailor mars walk in the opening
>start rubbing me peepee, feels good m8
Thank you Sailor Mars
I remember humping the bed for pleasure ever since i have memories
Remember seeing sperm for the first time after my humping and getting worried
But i kept doing it cause it felt good
It came naturally, nobody taught me shit
And you shouldnt bother your kids with that stuff either
If they're healthy they'll learn it on their own
I was seven, when my dad tricked me into having sex with him by pretending to be my mom.
>catholic priest at catholic school taught me how to masterbate
w w WHAT?!!?
user please explain.
I did masturbated wrong at first...durrr
I was 11. Used thumb and forefinger of each hand. This would cause me penis to get wildly thrown back and forth. Later just around listening to other guys making jokes and hand gestures realized I was an idiot. Still was hard to switch to othodox jack.
>not fucking your pillow for maximum stimulation
>leaf finally and for the first time brings up very serious topic
>finns are ruining it
>der finne, shitpostanstifter, shitpostverlängerer
>asking what is a good age to start playing with your kid's dick is a serious topic
It might be a serious topic on /lbgt/ and in Germany but not on Jow Forums