What would a Joe Rogan presidency look like?

A whole bunch of government programs organized on finding the key to unlock your mind that just turn into people sitting in a room getting baked and watching animal planet top 10 countdown shows

>number two on our countdown of surprisingly strong animals............THE CHIMP
>!!!!!!!!!

fucking gay

jamie pulling that shit up

The policies would wildly differ from day to day. Neo-nazi one day, communist SJW the other. Joe Rogan has no beliefs, ideas, or backbone of his own. He would be a puppet of whoever else is on the room when he makes a decision.

beat me to it

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>The Chinese invaded the Western United >States?
>Where is that exactly, I know that involves >California, probably Arizona.
>Jamie, can you pull that up?
>There was this fighter, Cung Lee...
>Did you know that some say Chinese culture is >older than the ice age?
>I just don't know. But I think they like opium.
>I wonder if they like DMT?
>When you talk about Bruce Lee, I mean, he
>was amazing, lots of theories but for sure
>FOR SURE the Chinese revolutionized martial
>combat, and Bruce Lee was the first to distill
>thousands of years of martial arts into what
>later became the UFC. I have so much respect
>for Bruce Lee. Who knows what that guy could >have done.
>So if the Chinese HAVE invaded the Western >United States. If that's TRUE, and so far I'm
>just hearing that from people that I'm not sure
>I totally trust (Operation Northwoods), is that
>BAD?

Has he ever talked about being molested as a kid? He seems like someone who was.

Lack of principle.

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Isn't that Santorum?

*during first state of the union*
>well no because
*brings the mic closer*
>every ten years the economy completely changes
>I was reading this article about how new immigrants can actually increase this process into about six years
>Jaime could you get that article up
>here we go
*looks over at screen*
>look at that...
>yeah that chimp must be what? 400 pounds?
>Jesus those things will tear your to shreds

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gitmo becomes chimp lockup (like it ain't already)
i.4cdn.org/wsg/1547336620513.webm

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>Lube, fecal matter and jizz
so a santorum presidency?

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5’3”

>dude weed lmao
>open borders (except for Joe in his gated community)
>pedos everywhere
>DMT alien propaganda
>steroids given to kids
>Christianity wiped out
>alcoholism

JUST

>What would a Joe Rogan presidency look like?
Short.
And I don't mean duration.

Government mandate forcing every citizen to own an ounce of weed at all times and complete a compound bow hunting course.

Tax Returns in the form of DMT instead of cash.

*leans into microphone*
"I do solemnly swear.."

I hate this fuck so much

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joe rogan is a cunt

kek

He wouldn't get past the minimum height requirement at the White House.

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Joe Rogan thinks everyone should be able to vote from their phone but wont read his own Youtube Comments

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fucking keks

Government mandated dmt

im pretty sure he's against pedos n steroids u tard

I always get Joe Rogan and Dana White mixed up.

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problematic.

>tries to spread psychedelics to awaken the masses, starting with DMT
>literally assassinated Kennedy style by the jews

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>What would a Joe Rogan presidency look like?

short

I'd like my presidents to have at least 3 functioning braincells, not just one...
To quote Rogan: and Blabla, and Blabla, ans Blabla, ans Blabla, and Blabla, and Blabla.
You want a president that sounds like a retarded?

>"This country is too big. It's outdated! You're going to tell me that we ALL vote for ONE guy to rule the country? It's a popularity contest! That's what it is... you see that video where that car hit that moose? Jamie pull that up."

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>DMT would be legalize
>rogaine treatment would be socialized
>would spend 95% of his presidency in a deprivation tank

Rogan hangs out with all the kikes from the "intellectual darkweb" along with Juden Peterstein.

School lunch program with little juice boxes of Ayahuasca.

>Jamie pull up that black bull that serviced my wife yesterday
>Now zoom in on his cock
The guest is uncomfortable.

>Now listen Tom, I can hook you up with this guy, he can do a discount for you if you use the code ALPHABRAIN, I'm sure your wife would be pleased.

BUCKLE UP BITCHES!

THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)

THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST

TO POP YOUR:

- ALPHA BRAIN
- SHROOMTECH
- KRILL & MCT OIL
- PRIMATE CARE PILLS
Fear Factor - Theme Music YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE

>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES
FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA

DUDE BOOOOM LMAO

DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"

- Joe Rogan, 2015

>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING

- Brought to you by SquareSpace©

cue the hempforce mustard

vocaroo.com/i/s1SahCWLFeJr

First thing he'd do would be to legalize weed throughout the United States. Then...nothing. His job would be done.

About 5'3"

He'll have a bunch of academic advisors pushing him around and making him do the Jews bidding.

Joe would be the biggest globalist jew cuck of all time. the guy is a huge sellout..

>all those pictures with other world leaders
>he is always the manlet

topkek

A big toe with a tie on

He'd says some dumb shit and ask for someone to pull something up on screen

>what's your opinion on x?
>yeah i agree, that's so fascinating.

Putin wouldn't have to look up

>tfw even Putin is taller then you

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supervillain plot to spike the nation's drinkable water with dmt

fucking gay he's not a maverick like trump, he's a normie and he sides with the mob

kek

>bring me your weak and weary and I will agree with them on my podcast

>tfw State of the Union #156 with Gavin McInnes gets delayed because of the shutdown