I'm 26 and never had a gf. It feels like everyone good is gone now and there is nothing left but giving up

>I'm too bad to really show it off.

Wrong mindset, go in with a positive view that "I'm self aware enough to know I suck and I'm here to get better", it's way more confident, if you mean it, it's true, and nobody worth your mental energy ever looked down on a guy who said "Yes, I know I'm not good yet, but I will be soon."

>Women just seem to stick with their groups.

At some point you will probably have to make compromises with respect to interests, your primary ones (TTG, programming, working out) have not put you in contact with enough people, you may have to move on to secondary interests (things that people who do those things might also be interested in, like the ones I listed) or tertiary interests (things that often have a same underlying core interest but are themselves pretty unrelated, eg lifting -> hiking, or TTG -> improv).

Don't give up though, if you're improving yourself and meeting a consistent stream of new people of the opposite sex, at some point math is on your side.

No shit, that's why I'm asking for advice.

I guess I'll go out to even more things.
I don't really know what to do even when I'm talking to a girl to make it go further.

Just post a profile on OK Cupid with that and I'm sure you're going to get some hits.

How do you meet people hiking?
Not OP, but I love going for long walks, but you are pretty much alone out there, even when you stick to official hiking routes.

i remember asking this same question at 26.
the short answer is there is no hope. give up now so you can at least have peace.
for some of us having a gf is like a fish hoping to fly in the sky or a bird hoping to swim in the ocean. i.e. it's unnatural and impossible. focusing on it will only drain you.

it's true that the good options are gone. your options are now: much younger girls who you can't connect with, single mothers who need beta providers, and leftover girls who you can settle for who will in turn settle for you (a fellow leftover).
in other words the work of maintaining a relationship is simply not worth the payoff at this point.
once i gave up and buried myself in my work, fitness, and hobbies, i've achieved so much more in the last few years than in all the time before it. it's a bit lonely from time to time but on balance it's not bad.

Join a local meetup related to hiking, they usually post a schedule in which groups of 4-12 will take some kind of hike of varying difficulty. It's pretty chill, based on how my hiker friends describe it.

Things naturally progress. There aren't any words to say, unironically put your best self forward, see if you'd be good friends, and at some point ask them out if you enjoy their company and you think they'd say yes.

I already feel like killing myself thanks this helps.
I might try a hiking group.

Man I'm only 19 and I already feel like I'm so far behind that by the time I catch up it'll be too late. Hopefully we're both wrong.

You are all huge fucking pussies. You are 26 and it's normal for guys at 26 to date 21 year olds. You're telling me all the decent girls are taken by 21?

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah why can't I meet girls at my tabletop RPG and shitcoin meetings. :(

This is literally you OP. Kill yourself.

So where does one find those decent 21 year olds?

Bars, online, out in the woods smoking weed.

It's so stupid to go out of your way to find a girlfriend. If you're trying to just let laid that's understandable though, but that's what Tinder is for.

>I already feel like killing myself
there are millions of activities you will never participate in, this is just another one.
there's other things to live for.
girls will actually approach you from time to time as you go about your business, don't fall to the temptation or you'll regret it as it invariably goes south over and over again. if you were bf material you would have already had a gf by now -- that fact won't change.

>Bars and weed
>decent

lol people here really want real life anime waifus

>It's so stupid to go out of your way to find a girlfriend
Well if your current interests aren't putting you near girls I don't see what other means there are. Are you saying that it's dumb to want a family if your hobbies aren't in line with women's?

>Are you saying that it's dumb to want a family if your hobbies aren't in line with women's?
If you want a family, go knock a girl up. You'll get a family real quick.

You want a wife that you like? Don't put yourself in situations you don't enjoy to find someone who does enjoy those things. You are already setting yourself up for failure.

There's a thing called compromise incel. Probably less than 1% of the population actually actively enjoys the neckbearded hobbies OP is listing, with none of them being woman.

Hobbies are always changing but yeah, go ahead and limit your search to women who play board games and watch anime instead of finding someone with similar moral values that you enjoy being around and think would make a good mother. (hint, the women watching anime in their 20s are probably more likely to march for womens and trans rights than want children)

New user here.
Guys join a community college and mingle. To op specifically I'm on the west coast as well and it's worked for me. I suggest you take an Introduction to Philosophy class to find in greater detail where you stand on things politically and spiritually, then look for women of a similar mindset. You have to be able to talk about more than Dnd and programming. I've played a ton of Dnd but I'll admit Dnd conversations aren't the most interesting thing in the world to someone who doesn't play. Also you mentioned that you were into art so why not take an Art class? The ratio of men to women in these classes are closer to 50/50 and people will appreciate your abilities there while you can further your side skill. Hiking is another option, but taking some classes will allow you to expand your talking points to a more general area. This really helped me meet a girl in college that I really like. While allowing me to mingle with other girls.
>Posted by a Philosophy Major so I'm a little biased.

Put together a profile on tinder and other apps. Swipe a few minutes a day and don't have any expectations. Over time you will get matches and some will actually be worth talking to. Dont make it the center of your life but it's a good way to talk to women if you aren't good at it in real life. It's how I met my soon to be gf as a nearly wizard.

>Guys join a community college and mingle.
My dude, It's my second year in a program that's got a ratio of 4 girls for every guy and I'm still a khv. This is the scale of my ineptitude.

You know, some pleasures are really gone, some of them will remain unknown for you forever.

If you hadn't anxiously lift by your hand the hem of the beautiful gown of your girlfriend in, for example, your seventeens, on a pretty summer evening, then it's a really big omission...

I was actually planning to write something hopeful afterward but i'm not gonna do it. You, me and thousands of other outsiders are doomed to feel the anguishes of penitence 'till the end of our days.

Stop being so fucking dramatic. You're being ridiculous.

First of all sick dubs dude.
Secondly, you got to talk to people about morals, life aspirations, dreams, and some other really scary stuff to develop bonds deep enough to ask for a relationship. Don't be afraid to go out of your way to crack some jokes and find common interests. This is why I recommended philosophy because everyone has their own outlook on life. Everyone can say something on matters of the soul and happiness. It's an easy way to bond with people. I really recommend philosophy. It allows you to learn more about yourself. I came to terms with being single for a while and to start learning who I was when I met the girl I wanted to be with. There wasn't a need to compromise much on our viewpoints. On top of that, we found each other sexually attractive, funny, and wanted to continue growing together. You can't really look for romance its something you feel.

Attached: MeaningOfLife.jpg (1000x1500, 501K)

I'm already graduated.

I might take some kind of art thing though.

I definitely recommend it. I actually hated art for a while and found it to be a waste of time, then I started taking philosophy classes. Now I view it as expressions of the soul and interpretations of the human condition/ Duality of man. My girlfriend is an Art/Chem major and without my appreciation of art I wouldn't have stood a chance. When you take these classes though actively socialize. Don't just go to class, but bond with you class mates. Most people just go and leave never knowing if they have just left friends behind.

I would be older than most there though, is that OK?

>you got to talk to people about morals, life aspirations, dreams, and some other really scary stuff to develop bonds deep enough to ask for a relationship. Don't be afraid to go out of your way to crack some jokes and find common interests
I already do all that though.
I have song ass discussions about stuff like whether morality is objective, or whether Von Braun was at fault for the deaths his research made possible. I make a lot of jokes, and I talk to people about whatever they're interested in.

Sounds like you need to learn how to have fun. From how you said that, you sound like a handful.

I mean, the topics all came up naturally and it's not like that's what every conversation I have is.

I'm assuming you're OP. If you're 26 it shouldn't be too bad. Just be careful dating girls in their early 20's. They are usually immature, don't know what they want from a relationship, might use you for alcohol, and just might have unrealistic expectations of romance. I wouldn't date anyone beneath 20 as they will likely be immature and more hassle than their worth. Just make sure when you find someone you want to date, after spending some time around them, you actually ask them out. I suggest the 3,2,1 FUCK IT method.

Count backwards from 3 in your head then say something that you can't take back.
Example, "Hey wanna grab coffee sometime? Would you like to go mini-golfing? Do you like hikes?"

How is your self-care? Are you hygienic? Are you handsome? Do you need to work out? Women don't need a muscular man, but I've found they do like strong men. You don't need abs you just need to be able to life them with one arm. Don't talk about objectivity btw. That is the most boring Philosophical stance to take and stifles intellectual discussion. Most people unfamiliar with moral quandaries don't know how to properly argue against it. If you would like some suggested readings on Ethics I would happily oblige. Have you actually asked any of them out is my last question.

This ain't me but I hope you do more with these people than talk. I'll agree with him on that.

I'm also 26 and I had my first girlfriend in late January this year. Met at workplace. Lots of young people there. I didn't initiate contact, she did. Turns out she had been interested in me for quite some time.

But prior to meeting her I had gone out with 3 other girls in the week before. I just told myself "Fuck it, I'll ask them out." It was kind of magical, really. I just went for it. Of course, none of the 3 were interested, nor were they wife material, but I got lucky with my gf.

Here comes the sad part: My inexperience brought a lot of friction and miscommunication into our relationship, and things eventually fell apart.

It fucking sucks and I want to die. If she had been only decent it wouldn't hurt so much, but she was virtually 10/10. Lots of culture, loved writing, loved literature, photography, music, and sports, which meant she took care of herself pretty well. Total wife material. And she was super simple. Didn't dress like most girls.

It's like the Universe or God gave me the finger and fucking laughed in my face. That's what it feels like. To have my first gf be an incredible, almost one in a million type person, and then take her away from me.

It's been 4 months and it still hurts. Depression, anxiety, and uncertainty.

Scared that I won't be able to let go and adapt to someone new.

Your first break up will hurt. Trust me on this. Be mentally prepared. It'll fucking tear you apart, but alas, we all must go through it some times.

Be in places with young people, start by saying hi every now and then to as many chicks as you can, small talk, etc... smile. Sooner or later someone will notice you. Either that or ask someone out. Don't think. Do it.

>How is your self-care?
I don't know what that means.
>Are you hygienic?
I brush my teeth, shower, wash my face, and wear clean clothes like a big boy.
>Are you handsome?
Hell if I know.
>Do you need to work out?
I'm not in bad shape. Could do with a little bit of upper body mass, but I'm pretty fit overall.
>Women don't need a muscular man, but I've found they do like strong men. You don't need abs you just need to be able to life them with one arm.
Yeah I'm good.
>Don't talk about objectivity btw. That is the most boring Philosophical stance to take and stifles intellectual discussion. Most people unfamiliar with moral quandaries don't know how to properly argue against it. If you would like some suggested readings on Ethics I would happily oblige.
Oh nah, I wasn't saying "x is objectively immoral" I was arguing that morality is as objective as reality, but that it's also just as impossible to experience it objectively. It was a pretty decent conversation.
>Have you actually asked any of them out is my last question.
Once or twice, I'm just too acoustic. I know this is the problem, but I just can't do it.

>Once or twice, I'm just too acoustic. I know this is the problem, but I just can't do it.
I feel like this is most incel's problems. So you tried once or twice and your reflection was, I'm autistic and that's why I had a bad experience, instead of trying to understand why it went bad.

1. I'm not an incel. I fully recognize that my problems are my own fault.
2. I know more or less why they went poorly. The honest to god answer is that I just sperg out whenever it comes to anything romantic.

>Once or twice, I'm just too acoustic. I know this is the problem, but I just can't do it.

This is important; do you have social anxiety? If it gets to the point where you have some condition that impedes you from being comfortable around and talk to other people, or girls in this case, then get that shit checked out. Everyone needs help. A therapist and meds (latter if necessary) will go a long way. The other half is you working hard.

In case that's not the case, here's what you do. Don't think whether or not you'll fail. Don't think about what she'll think about you. If it's someone you occasionally engage in small talk with, then ask her out for coffee, couple of beers, lunch, dinner, afternoon at the beach, or whatever the fuck you enjoy doing. Then, ask her about her. What she likes, what she studied, aspirations, etc... small talk, man. Just let it flow. If she starts showing interest in you you'll notice it.

Oh, and smile. Every chance you get, dude. Maintain eye contact when talking with her and just be yourself, really. Show some confidence and let things flow.

It'll come eventually. I'm also 26 (user from a few replies back) and in my case it eventually happened. If you're in a social environment with other young people constantly, it'll happen. Talk, talk, talk. She ain't interested? Focus on someone else. Talk, talk, talk. Be yourself, but be confident. Find common interests.

It'll come, dude.

Now, as for getting back up after your first break up and coming to terms with it? Different story. Since it's our first relationship we grow EXTREMELY fucking attached. I know I did. It's like someone who's never had this one thing, and then suddenly you have it, but then it's gone. It hurts.

Speaking of which, once you find someone, give her some space initially. It's hard to control yourself since you don't want to lose her, but it'll do you more harm than good.

>If she starts showing interest in you you'll notice it.
You underestimate my power.

Go to church.

>The honest to god answer is that I just sperg out whenever it comes to anything romantic.
So now you're just blaming it on aspergers. What is the ACTUAL root cause?

Let me try, user
>work, woodworking, surfing
>strep throat, work
>hourly, fast food
>shower 2x, shave, workout m/w/f bodyweight
>USA
Explain where I went wrong.

I meant "sperg out" in the colloquial sense, not that I actually have asperger's.
I'm generally pretty sociable, even with girls, but whenever it comes to anything to do with romance I just can't force myself to go for it.

>Phil user Here

Thanks for picking up the slack for me while I was gone user. Had to work on my truck cuz she broke down two days back and I need her for school.

Perhaps I made a mistake when reading your previous post. From what I understood you were saying the the Morals of all people are relative to that person. That issue with this is that it assumes people don't have an independent universal criteria. Most of ethical philosophies are trying to set independent universal criterions to live by. These are whats fun to debate. Simply saying, "Morals are in the eye of the beholder", is boring and slows the conversation. While its true that one must prove that their independent universal criterion is correct, defaulting to relativity just means morals don't exist. Under relativity murder is allowed, rape is acceptable, and we have no basis by which to praise or blame others. This is because, "That's just like your opinion man."
>Baby rage tangent over

Just ask people out. Maybe not close friends but people your attracted to after talking to them. You have to not expect anything to come of it and be willing to accept that outcome. Failing is part of life and it makes those following dates so much sweeter. Finding a life partner is hard work, otherwise we wouldn't have to spend so much time searching. Previous user said it lovely,
>"Don't think whether or not you'll fail. Don't think about what she'll think about you. If it's someone you occasionally engage in small talk with, then ask her out for coffee, couple of beers, lunch, dinner, afternoon at the beach, or whatever the fuck you enjoy doing. Then, ask her about her. What she likes, what she studied, aspirations, etc... small talk, man. Just let it flow. If she starts showing interest in you you'll notice it."

Continuing my previous thought, just practice being super sappy and romantic. I'm supper sappy. Romcoms can be your friend my dude.

>Under relativity murder is allowed, rape is acceptable, and we have no basis by which to praise or blame others.
Maybe I'm misreading your post now, but what I was saying boils down to
>we don't experience reality objectively
>we recognize this, and negotiate an approximation of objective reality between our perspectives
>likewise, we have our own subjective experiences of morality, and are equally justified in assuming there exists an imperceptible objective version of it
basically you can know something is wrong with the exact same certainty that you can know something is true.

>You have to not expect anything to come of it
This might be my problem desu. I never expect anything and then decide it's not worth trying as a result.

>Continuing my previous thought, just practice being super sappy and romantic.
That's not quite what I meant. Like I think my ideas about what I *should* do are pretty decent, I just can't bring myself to actually do them.

Same problem as the other guy, mostly:

>Dating other people in fast food is a hard "not interested" for most other fast food workers due to low pay, same team, hostile environment if management finds out, and bad gender ratios
>Surfing is good and can be social, but you need to have access to a stream of new physically fit people who have surfed or are interested in surfing to have it be social
>Woodworking is a solitary activity

Honestly, for most of you, it's that you don't leave the house, or, when you do, the destination doesn't have any people who you don't know yet.

You cannot meet a girlfriend if you cannot meet girls because you do not do things in a group with girls.

bump.

If you don't think you'll get a gf, you're to insecure to get a gf.

It's always like this
Everything I am is always wrong

Im in the same boat
>I'm overweight,
>socially awkward
>financially, just getting buy
>not particularly attractive
>and live with family
my life seems to only get worse when I try to fix anything. so the above probably will only get worse.
so what I want to know is should I just give up

>My friends are starting to get gfs and wives and vanishing.
>vanishing

Bad friends.