How do I get my daughter to go to school...

How do I get my daughter to go to school? I’ve tried fucking everything and it seems that every time she begins to enjoy it, she takes ten steps back and starts staying at home again. She’s 14 so I can’t legally let her stay home, and we’ve tried homeschooling before but she got so depressed that she stopped doing all forms of work. So far she’s missed over a year and a half of school desu. Are there any scientific methods to help her go? I should also mention that she enjoys studying and does it when she doesn’t go to school and after she comes home, but i can’t trust her (neither can she trust herself) to start homeschooling again.

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beat her till she stops being a lazy stacy

Looks like anti-depressants and adderall should do the trick... Don't know how you let it get this far... also nice larp

Old Black Guy Voice: "Beat yo kids so they stop all this foolishness"

>drug your daughter while her puberty hormones disrupt normal behaviour so she will neve develop correctly
You fucking braindeath NPCs need to get in front of a wall. Pharmaceutics are not the solution to bad parenting.

You make her and if she gets depressed, that's because she is probably lacking social activities and Vitamins (check out Vitamin D at 5oooIU daily plus K2 and Trimagnesiumdicitrat (magnesium)). Authority is key after having a serious talk with her. Ask ehr about her goals and make her give you an answer. She can't get her ass to work if she doesn't have a goal to shot for.

Add physical activity to her shedula like sports, a mind can't work properly without activity promoting better blood flow.

Be strict. Kids need guidance. Throw out any social media and eletronics. A pc in the living room for school pirposes is enough. During the summer vacations subscripe her to educational classes so she can learn something she cares about.

Bring her to school and take her home afterwards. If she doesn't want to get dressed, she's going in her pyjamas. Show her that she will go to school and she can only pick in what condition. And if she fights back, she will sit in her room without books or any other entertainment till she begs you to go to school.

Additionally make sure she's asleep between 10pm and 2am. That'S where your body is most productivly doing his business, especially during puberty. Staying up late means that your body as less o no time to develop properly which results in things like smaller build and psychologically prolonged puberty. Sleep is most important during puberty. It takey a couple days to get into a proper sleeping shedule, so don't give up after a day or thwo of her bitching.

Bad parents wouldn't care, so doesn't necessarily have to be a parenting issue. Suppose it was a parenting issue, you think the parents could improve? I doubt it...

Depression = Mental Illness... Looks like the child has been depressed for a while, pills and therapy could help take the edge off and allow her to try school again. Nothing wrong with taking medication...

She’s already taking 100mg if sertraline but it doesn’t help, and she’s offered talking therapy but that doesn’t help either. She has depression and eating disorders and goes to a school for kids with psychological health issues. It helps sometimes, but not all of the time. Back when she first started not going to school, i tried to literally drag her out of the house and punish her by getting rid of all devices but none of it worked. it just made her even more depressed. I don’t understand how this situation got so fucked up and how it can be eased

Bad parentng doesnt only mean "don't caring", larping as an anti-authoritarian which simply doesn't have any real rules or doesn't know how to impose them is bad parenting as well.

>Looks like the child has been depressed for a while, pills and therapy could help take the edge off and allow her to try school again
I have been depressed for 20 years and on pills which fucked me up. Puberty and such problenms are NORMAL. It's a phase which will go out on itself and can be helped by physical activity and a healthy diet, which most parents don't understand. Disrupting a growing organism with artificial exogenic hormones and pharmaceutics only makes sure that that body will never find it's own natural equillibrium. Giving kids hardcore pills like anti-depressants or ADHD meds is child maltreatment, it disrupts the body for ever.

If such symptoms keep persisting after the 20 birthday and DESPITE a physical routine, checked bloodwork for malnourishmend in terms of vitamins and checked thyroid THAN and only than we can start talking about a depression which needs to eat pills.

>14yo girl
>She’s already taking 100mg if sertraline
>I don’t understand how this situation got so fucked up and how it can be eased

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Depression simply means that the body lacks something, in nearly all cases it's Vitamin D, the cun vitamin, which is why most people get depressed during winter. And considering the latitude your body is physically unable to get ANY throught most of the year, so a depression will get worse and worse. Get her tested for vitamin D levels, iron and thyroid (free thyroid 3 and not only the TSH). Low functioning thyroid is very common in women and leads to weight problems (both extremes) and depression.

*free levels of 3 and 4
Read into the subject, most physicians are not exactly well read on this topic and rather prescribe shit than to bother. Her tyhroid gland should also be checked as well as anti-bodies, which would indicate a hashimoto thyroid malfunction. Both easy to work with, and to prevent further damage through substituting Thyroxin oraly.

what the fuck else am i supposed to do? i’ve only put her on sertraline recently and i don’t want to run into legal problems, this isn’t a normal issue she’s missed over a year and a half of school and just the thought of going makes her ill and sob

that's right daddy needs to give her some of the 'ol vitamin D ;)

We’ve gotten her tested for all of these problems numerous times and she’s fine

I missed 3 years of school due to depression. Anti-depressants are like a lobotomy. It doen't cure the problem, it only makes you not give any more fucks - which for the most part makes it even worse.

I can assure you that you haven't gotten her tested for VitaminD and the Thyroid, as this is something practically no physician doesn on himself and it goes on the private bill.

If the thought of going to school makes her ill, maybe the social clusterfuck is the problem. Try anothe school or homeschool properly, meaning you are the teacher and control her progress during the day and be strict. You cant just let her stay home and call it homeschooling. She's a teenager, of course she will find ways of prevventing to do any work. Also, how much ophysical activity does she get? Is she in any fitness class? Batminton? Gmynastics? Running? Cycling? Guess what, sitting at home in front of a screen doesn't make depression get an ybetter.

If you can, trial other anti depressants, since anti depressants are all about finding the right one.

Also if you haven’t get her blood work done to see if there is any deficiencies, if she has an eating disorder then she will most likely have one or is very close to being classified as ‘deficient’.

>not doing things because you don't want too

I was not aware that this was an option.

bump

she's probably bullied or has to see a guy she likes with someone else. homeschool or new school. have a tutor teach her and then sign her up for something fun to meet new people. structured school is kinda bullshit honestly. I wish I dropped out and go mynown schooling because it was a waste of my time. material is too easy. people are bullies and dumb and annoying. teachers are cranky and insane. waste of time. education can be better achieved at their own pace.

instead of shaming her ask her what she wants out of life. even depressed people can find hope in a passion.

I hated going to school. I wasnt bullyd or anything. I just hated the environment. I left school at 16 and got my ged. Let her get hers maybe and from there she has to find her own path in life. Like i did. Took me two years tho

Look, I don’t want to be a downer, but I’m going to hopefully spare you some optimum heartache in the long run:

Prepare yourself for coming into her room one day and finding her hanging from a light fixture. It’s macabre, I know, but all this shit is pointing to her doing her best piñata impression due to her own inmate sense of hopelessness. Honestly, there’s not a lot you can do about it either. She’ll just do it one day, probably seem like she’s perking up for a few days before she does it. That’s how it happens.

Sorry to be a downer, but steel yourself for this and maybe you’ll be spared some degree of heartache.

She sounds exactly like the past me. I really feel for than girl. I can't say I am/was anything 100% like her but if you have any questions about what might be going through her mind you can ask me and I'll answer from my experience.

Let's see... take her to a counselor ASAP, that's a must. School counselor, psychologist, whatever, and if necessary, a psychiatrist.

Be there for her. I know it's hard, but be careful, and have faith. It's gonna be hard for you, but it's probably even harder for her.
Don't asspat and echo chamber her, but don't beat her and deprive her either. Know the balance.

>likes studying and does it on her own
God, really sounds like me to a T

>failed homeschool
Ok, what kind of homeschool? Have you tried online schooling? Like the classes are through the Skype and all?

see what she really likes. see if you can find specific schooling/courses for what she likes.

Most of all, i emphasise: COUNSELOR, user (or like I said, therapist, psychologist, etc), seriously. not only should help her, but also you/your family deal with this.
It's what saved me. Wasn't a magical cure overnight, but it did (and still does).

god i hope she makes it. fuck. empathise with her so much, and with you too as a father, user. best wishes.

Sounds like she's being bullied. Try tutoring.

thanks user, how are you now? what kind of stuff did you study? She hasn’t tried online schooling, we just brought her homeschooling books and called it a day... looking back at it, that was probably a bad idea. I’m just worried that if she won’t be able to go to school everyday, how will she go to work everyday in the future? She wants to be an engineer. Thanks for empathising, she’s on a waiting list for mentalisation based therapy right now

bump

op, if my parents ever gave me the choice of not going to school, i would have started being depressed everytime i had to go too. or the fact that she goes to a school for people with psychological problems... i don't know. doesn't that make her more depressed, knowing she doesn't fit in?
but anyways your empathy is admirable it doesn't sound like you're being a bad parent.

>how are you now
now... I'm still struggling, definitely, few weeks ago had a suicide attempt, so I'm not a good role model, hahaha...
doesn't mean your child will go through the same though; one of my problems is precisely that i lack family support/grew up in a sick toxic household. and you sound like a very concerned dad which even more coincidentally, sounds like mine... who has been saving my life all along as well.
so just be there for her, trust me.

but right now I'm taking up online classes to complete my high-school qualification (im 19), and still being followed by therapy and all of course.
my online classes are really good, they're practical, simple, e-learning kinda stuff... I'm surprised at myself I've made it this far honestly.

>what kind of schooling
I stayed back a lot of years. In total, 4, I tink.
I did regular school up to 8th grade and the start of 9th grade (which was very hard of course), then in my 2nd time of trying to do 9th grade, I joined a course that gave me the qualification of 9th grade, plus professional qualification in Commerce field. It's an European education system thing I think.

>work
I definitely understand your concern.
I've worked myself, and it's hard, very hard, but in the end if it's minimally something I like, I can make it, and I think she can too if only she gets into something she likes. Having real experience/practice is a whole lot another level than theory/just reading stuff from books.
(... and the money, man, having your own money is so satisfying)

>engineer
Yeah... I guess she needs at the very least high school... Or middle school, then see if there are any vocational schools/courses that offer an equivalent to a high school diploma.

Sorry for weird English and explanation, as you can see I'm European (portugal).

Sometimes you can’t change a person like that and you should just let her go to school. I’m not saying that you should completely stop caring about your daughter, but I would lay off her because that’s just how some teens act and if you pressure them to change too much, like when you put her into homeschool, she will again become depressed.