Why am I such a fucking coward??

your heart racing because of fear can easily turn into your heart racing because of excitement, it's a good way to feel

>put your around her
The fucked up thing is that I could have done this at literally any point throughout the night but still didn't.
I even consciously considered it, but it felt so imagined and brave, that my body wouldn't respond because the thought was so disconected from reality.
Good point. I usually actively avoid this feeling in the moment, and that complacency is definitely part of it

maybe being direct is too risky for you?
try subcommunication. It's a lot more subtle.
Hey, I really had a great time = I like you

Want me to stay over?/would you like to come over (bullshit reason)? = wanna fuck?

these can be tricky to come up with, have some lines prepared buddy.

Good advice, but I think obsessing over subtlety and implications is part of my problem.
I feel like my intentions and meaning are never understood.
I just need to do/say one really obvious thing to make my feelings blatant. But as you can see my problems are:
a) being a fucking pussy
b) not knowing what exactly to say/do.
I know I'm only 18, but no girl has ever interested me this much before in my life to actually get even this far. So I'm very inexperienced, which only compounds my cowardice

perhaps imagining that if you don't act this time she'll waddle past you heavily pregnant by another man next time you see her will motivate you?

I can relate to this so much.
You know how some things seem so be so obvious once you are enlightened about them? well... I'm going to give you advice that will make you go "thanks I'm cured" sarcastically. But i hope it clicks.

You have to realize you can't make a mistake.

youtu.be/D7CH9cRN8Rg

maybe this video will help

Huh? Why would you choose to not see her anymore, that‘s retarded lmao. She seems to like you still, so you have a chance. My tip personally? Don‘t jerk off until you see her and work out on that day. Realize that she will be flattered when you make a move on her, since that makes her feel attractive and desired. Start small. Like putting your hand on her lower back when you start walking somewhere or when you open the door for her. Compliment her appearance. Tease her. Hold her hand. And don‘t kiss her at the end. That usually just puts too much pressure on the two of you. Instead, kiss her at a high point when you go out. When the two are really happy and enjoying yourselves. Don‘t wait for „the perfect moment“. You will just end up making exchses. Just do it at a good enough moment.

Cheer up OP. A lot of man have had that problem. I was on dates with a girl too once where I didn‘t make any move lmao. And when you jump into the cold water once, you realize it‘s not a big deal. Don‘t look at moves at some strategic thing to woo the girl over. See it as an honest expression of how you feel about that girl instead.

Invite her to the movies, u'll have a great excuse not to say anything, if she accepts an invitation to go the movies with you, that's half the job done! at some point in the movie, hold her hand, if it's everything going fine, after no much time after holding her hand u go for a small kiss(idk how to say it in English) a "smack" maybe? It will work, trust me, it worked for me a LOT when i was in high school, cause i was also a pussy when it comes to express my feelings towards a girl. Just do it and thank me later :)

lean in and kiss her without a word if you can't say anything
>should I give up or try and probably succeed?
I was never this retarded and I have autism

Eye contact. That shit's magic. Her eyes will give you indications.
I used to be an absolute mess around girls I was attracted to, and am now less of a mess. Getting to the point of confidence where I could actually look a girl in the eyes for a few seconds at a time was a huge shift. Things got a bit easier.
It sounds like this girl likes you, so you likely don't have anything to worry about in terms of rejection. You just have to make a move. Her eyes will tell you when. Her voice (maybe even her words) will tell you when.

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> She said she wants to go out again.
> Should I just fucking forget it and move on, and stop even seeing her?
Come on bro. She wants to go out again, and you're interested as well. 1+1=2. Set up another date, and if it goes equally well maybe you can try going for a kiss or something.

And don't stress too much about the hugs and them being weird. That she says she wants to go out with you again is all the validation you should need. Apparently it wasn't so bad to make her think that you're a fucking retard or she wouldn't have said that.

It's funny, but I'm such a jealous person that imagining her with someone else is actually enraging enough to be motivation.
This video actually does help. I love Alan Watts, but I hadn't heard that yet. I have thought about the concept of every decision being true simply by nature of it happening, but applying to this situation is very helpful.
I guess I just have to disconnect my brain for just long enough to accomplish these things.
She actually gave me a lot of eye contact last night, more than usual, so I guess she actually does want me to do something.
She is kind of passive, so I have to initiate everything. But the more I think about it, I'm starting to realise that there are times when I might have confused her being passive, with her being uninterested.
You're right, I should definitely see her again. I don't even think she noticed patting her on the back. She initiated the hug twice. She even send me a text after about that she "really liked it" in reference to going out.

This has probably been the most help I've ever got from a thread, so thanks guys.

Here's what I'm going to do:
I'm going to go out with her again soon, and make it my sole goal to make it obvious how I feel about her.
I'm going to fucking snap out of this cowardice once and for all.
I'm going to put my arm around her.
I'm going to make a lot of eye contact and smile.
I'm going to stroke her fucking hair.
I'm going to fucking kiss her if it's the last thing I do.
This lowliness needs to stop, and she needs to know how much I like her.

One last thing guys, should I text her something like:
"btw I forgot to tell you how cute you looked in that jacket last night"
or is this cucked and weird?

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> go for a kiss
You have to escalate, you don't start with a kiss. Jesus you're thinking too much. We're talking laughing, more contact, eye contact, smiles, signals, the things you say. There's a clear difference between interested and not interested and yes you gotta flirt to some degree somehow, however comes naturally for you and is well recieved by her but even then I'm making it sound harder than it is.

You escalate things bit by bit until she either nicely tells you to slow down or you end up kissing. How's she handling nonchalant compliments your alpha mouth?

> "btw I forgot to tell you how cute you looked in that jacket last night
You could bit if you're still a bit chicken shit, mix in some humour to keep it light hearted but still show interest. At least, at the very fucking least do that. A humorous compliment. (if you're not funny, don't try to be)

How do you come across to her anyways?

Alan Watts is a total bro. It does go back to a lot of simple ideas that you've been genetically engineered for thousands of years to attract and procreate like.......women really do like guys leading they just can't do it like a spastic where you walk up, say hi, ask for a kiss and then sit there with your eyes closed like a sped.

Remember that will smith movie? Laugh a bit, touch a bit, some funny compliments, lean in and if she leans in, finish her off. When I was like 18-20 I had so many girls tell me that they were waiting so long for "it to happen" and I was such a chicken shit. Then I realized so are they but I get to be the guy and control everything within reason.

Yeah, sorry I should have been clear.
I do mean kiss after escalation, not straight away, that would be pretty odd.
>how's she handling compliments
That's another thing, I haven't really complimented her. That's why I was thinking of sending her a text.
I am funny in person, I'm basically that 20 year old Pagliacco meme that's floating around. So I try to ease up so I'm not a court jester.
I'm competent socially/conversationally, just not good at letting people know how I feel about them.
I guess I come across as a nice person, she laughs at everything mildly funny I say, and I think she likes being around me.
>I get to be in control
Fuck, I never really thought of it positively like that.
I've been thinking of it like I HAVE to be in control, like a negative obligation. But I should actually use it to my advantage and make what I want to happen, happen.

Exactly.
She wants to be desired, it makes her more comfortable with her feelings for you if you show her your feelings for her, the man gets to be brave and that lets her open up and reciprocate.

The best part is, not only do you get to control the interaction, she'll give you signals. That's why people say to escalate because you're checking for the non-verbal greenlights but not asking for what you want. If she stops you she stops you. Hell that's not even necessarily a bad thing, sometimes she'll play hard to get and then regret not going further that time and go further the next time.

It's almost like sales, Belfort always said the sale doesn't start until you hear the first objection, easy sales are very rare and while some girls are easy, some play the game and some aren't interested. But you can fucking tell she's at least somewhat interested or else she'd tell you and then you know and can stop fearing the "does she, doesn't she" unknown.

Why do you think low iq thugs have so much success? Going for what they want is confidence, you don't have to be creepy, you don't have to pretend to be someone else, you don't have to be cooool like Fanze, you can just be you, genuinely being in her and seeing if he's genuinely into you. (which she is, so once you guys makeout, I want deets ITT or another)

hell if it helps, the kiss as a the cherry on top is a foregone conclusion at this point, you shouldnt even think of "will I, will she" but "after we" then what....lol

Not gonna lie bro, the patting her on the back was a BAD move, at least you made me lmfao tho

Not OP but I've been seeing this girl for a few dates now and when I look into her eyes she usually starts laughing and smiling. That's good right? Im just getting my foot wet with this shit at 30.

You know your shit.
It's up to me to hype myself up and go through with it. I'm supposed to be in charge.
What do you think about texting her a compliment like I said?
I'm glad my imbecility is amusing

Oh, and I will make an update thread, but it might be a couple of weeks.
If you actually care, make a note of this thread (wojak picture, content)

I don't know how your text convos go, especially since you said you havent complimented her yet, but connection and escalation of your relationship is supposed to be done in person, human connection is, the closeness, the tone of the voice, body language, the memory. It's hard to get emotion across or produce the right emotions through text.

I would savour the first compliment for in person. That will actually help things grow more than a text would. She might smile and you might remember it for the rest of your life.

What I'm getting at is, this is all a good thing, to look forward to, not be afraid of. It's starting to flip in your brain from one to the other. Like when you first learn to drive, it's scary, you don't know, but once you learn and realize it's easy you get to look forward to hopping in the car and going off on a holiday or something. YOu're in the unknown phase, and after a bunch of times you'll be in the other end, it just helps to think of it as something that you're both going to enjoy.

I know a guy who waited until the fifth date to ask if it was okay to kiss her, he's still married.

Good point, I'll save it for next time, and it will have much more impact.
And you're right, this thread is actually helping me flip fear into anticipation. I just have to harness it and be bold enough to act.
Stories like that legitimately make me feel much better, and that the important thing is to act, even if I've delayed it.

I hope they didn't fuck before marriage.

The way I got over this is just by being ballsy.
Just go in bro she clearly is being patient with you.

I never thought of it as her being patient, but it's probably accurate because she is pretty passive. Like I don't think she really initiates conversations with new people.
I had to muster up a lot of courage to even introduce myself and get her number in the first place.
Thinking back on that should actually be my motivation to escalate with her, because if it wasn't for that moment of bravery, I wouldn't even know her at this point. Then I would really hate myself

Christ man this is literally the exact situation that's happening to me. got my 3rd date with a tinder match this weekend and she's the most compatible girl i've ever spoken to. What # date are you on?