I don't really feel depressed but it seems like I'm doing a lot of the stuff other people on Jow Forums are doing when they say they're depressed. Basically >Really no motivation to do anything, not even fun stuff like watching a movie, listening to music or playing games >Spend entire days thinking about stuff I would like to do career wise but I know is way too ambitious for a single person to achieve or pointless shit like thinking about what Fallout 4 character I'd build even though I don't play it for example. >Drink way too much, way too often while also being alone 99% of the time >Never follow up on any human interaction and just stay alone >Nearly 25 and I'm only just finishing uni next year (if I actually manage it) >A perfect day is just laying in bed all day watching the same youtube videos over and over with no interruptions by life
Basically a hermit and phasing between study, employment and NEETdom, but I don't actually feel particularly unwell or anything about it other than occasionally shame but I suppose that's natural.
I used to convince myself my life was terrible, my family sucked, people are assholes and the whole world is engineered to make my life difficult when it comes to getting a degree, finding a job, money not being an unlimited resource. But I knew deep down I was just looking to justify this lifestyle, sadly that didn't stop me from drunkenly arguing with my brothers and sisters about this shit I've overexaggerated to myself.
Am I just a man child or is there possibly something worse here?
>no social interaction >12 hours a day on the internet Man, I'm so out of touch with normal people. What does everyone do in their off time?
Kayden Hernandez
kek'd
Gavin Butler
Currently I read, study and workout. Don't go on dates, broke up with the girl I was dating, and have very few friends. But I go to work everyday and have social interaction: buy some stuff to have breakfast and talk to the attendant, talk with my coworkers, my boss, the people who comes to court, etc. This meme is refering to have absolutely no social interaction besides the people you live with. Is not neccesary that you become the king of the party and talk with everyone, just a few interactions is more than enough and healthy. You can be a loner all you want, just don't spend an entire day without speaking, at least go outside and buy a soda or something and make chitchat
Levi Kelly
I did go to uni every day this week but didn't speak to anyone so far.
Luke Ramirez
Next time try to talk to the people who sits next to you, ask them something about what the teacher said, comment on the traffic, whatever it comes to mind. If you can talk to the teacher at the end of the class, even better.
Xavier Myers
this thing is fucking bullshit, stopped most of these and became the most depressed i ever was in life WHILE having a good paying job, its better now i watch porn, drink occasionally (read drink a bottle of vodka alone every saturday)
i was a neet for 4 years and im working again and im unmotivated in general now, i can basically only read books now, usually games i play are long which i get very involved in and i cant be bothered with work
i thought money would make me happier/easier but nope, nothing changes
Josiah Moore
But you stopped most of them and felt better.
William Murphy
the social interaction i get from work (which also "fixes" the sleep schedule and internet/gaming) is causing more of a negative as they are just a bunch of oppurtunistic backstabbers you cant trust, giving up alcohol was a huge mistake and im on the verge of starting drugs like shrooms to deal with the bullshit
it depends on what kind of thing you have, i was never really depressed but im nihilistic and destructive in nature so i learned to cope with that, so "fixing" these things was never the point from the start anyway, it just made me learn im not a depressive kind of person but have different issues
Carson Jackson
>oppurtunistic backstabbers sure, this social interactions are not made so you find friends and people who can trust in them, rather than keeping your "social muscle" in training, for instance, to discriminate a backstabber from someone you can trust. It's self-defense, survivalism if you want. I understand what you mean with a destructive nature, I am too very well connected with my thanatos, but the line between hate against the world and depression against oneself can be very thin, I hope you can always read your signs correctly and do what you must to feel ok
Christian Wood
That actually sounds good, thanks.
Owen James
tons of people on Jow Forums are actually not depressed, they just think they are, we just need to learn and embrace our personalities, accept that we are supposed to be "alone", at best we could get a girlfriend who would accept us for who we are and thats it, no bigger social circle/interactions shizzle, all the bs is for depressed people, it aint for people like us
for op, read confessions of a mask, the savage detectives, the stranger, stoner, there are more but start with these, try to use your unmotivation in a way to fuel and embrace it, drink but dont overdo it, try to look into light drugs but dont overdo it, i personally literaly watch the same 20-25 movies on repeat as i dont care about anything else (harakiri, the human condition, taxi driver..), i gave up on manga and anime ages ago, for music i just search up 2+ hour relaxing classical music videos on youtube and let it play on the background, used to visit /mu/ but cant be bothered to care about music anymore
people like me were just supposed to be sent off in some war to die among strangers, our personalities dont go well with the comfort of modern life, i push myself constantly to purposely put uncomfortable challenges in my life but its all meaningless in the bigger picture as the risks are just always too low
Jace Thomas
lmao >not depressed >we are supposed to be "alone" this is what I used to tell myself when I was depressed
>i push myself constantly to purposely put uncomfortable challenges in my life but its all meaningless well obviously, you are depressed. you enjoy and grow from those "challenges" when you are no longer depressed
I cant believe you tried drugs and you are still comfortable being depressed drugs made me realize what happy feels like and I do all I can to get there
your personality can change, it instantly changes when you get high
Ethan Perry
i only seek a nice country loyal gf that does her job and doesnt talk too much, if needed ill import one, i dont need anything else, i had great friendships, around 3 were supposed to be lifelong and they all just fizzle out, its not worth the hassle anymore, sure social interactions are cute and fun but thats about it, money also doesnt help, i live at home and save 90 percent of what i earn, just sits in the bank, used to be fat, got fitter, getting pretty shred, doesnt help, at this point if you would offer me a million dollars i could care less, its weird in the sense that there is a beast inside me that wants to escape but also a void that wants to be filled, i need to find a link for them but there is nothing
like i said, i just wish i was born centuries ago when war was everyday life and it would have just been keep fighting till you die or make it to the top and be a general or something
maybe i should get into boxing or something
Jacob Wright
you are lying to yourself
>i only seek a nice country loyal gf this is a fantasy, this will never happen. even if you meet her she wont like you because you are depressed. even if she does, you wont enjoy her company because you are depressed things were worse before, you are healthier and wealthier but you still dont care. why would having a gf be any different?
>its weird in the sense that there is a beast inside me that wants to escape but also a void that wants to be filled, i need to find a link for them but there is nothing look up schizoid personality disorder, it doesnt matter if you have it because there is no cure or treatment for it besides the same one as depression I feel like I may have it, I struggle to feel strong emotions. I didnt cry when my grandad or my cat died, I never feel sad. im bored all the time
you have a lot of potential you are not realizing (you might, I feel like I do at least) and nothing you tried can bring it out try microdosing on shrooms or LSD, it truly helped me a lot
in any case, you are not well or healthy. and you dont have to feel this way. you could be feeling much better
Thomas Campbell
>this is a fantasy, this will never happen. Nah, i live in west europe. There are 2 guys at work who have Ukranian wives. The only real problem is my preference is no kids so that would be hard. I literally said 2 seconds ago its all about challenging myself to overcome this boredom which i do constantly and here you are saying this simple thing of getting some easy east european chick wich there are millions of and dying to leave their shithole is a never to happen fantasy? Its really not that hard.
>why would having a gf be any different? This is a valid point, but also its a last resort, maybe ill find a smart girl who accepts me for who i am but dunno about that.
>I feel like I may have it, I struggle to feel strong emotions. I didnt cry when my grandad or my cat died, I never feel sad. im bored all the time troughout m years i turned more into a "be happy it happened" instead of "cry its over" kind of person, when my third friend who i was really well friended with, and contact was lost over time, i didnt feel sad anymore, there was a sense of melancholy but ultimately happy, when my granddad died i was happy and sad, but the only reason i was a bit sad was i wish i asked him more questions about life
>in any case, you are not well or healthy. and you dont have to feel this way. you could be feeling much better in a way i feel like people like me are not supposed to feel "well" (im healthy af), i dont try too, but im naturally charismatic in a weird sense, people literally tell me all their secrets even after only knowing them for a short while while i could care less and never want to know about them, like i said, feel like im a leader type of person that would gladly suffer for the people and fight for them but born in a comfortable western country with no risks attached to life
Easton Ramirez
>this is a fantasy, this will never happen. by that I meant that no one will ever cure your depression or whatever you want to call it I was in a year long relationship and I never felt love towards them. things turned out that way and I was comfortable so I didnt felt like breaking up.
>when my third friend who i was really well friended with, and contact was lost over time, i didnt feel sad anymore, there was a sense of melancholy but ultimately happy >when my granddad died i was happy and sad I get that when I feel sad when my dog was about to died I cried on my way back home and I felt alive, it felt good when my best friend at the time asked me to never talk to her again I felt sad but in melancholic kind of way, I just layed in bed and slept like a baby. I was feeling glad for some reason I can count on one hand the amount of times I felt sad in the past 5 years and its weird, it makes me feel alive. I had to force it every single time, it wouldnt happen naturally Ive talked about this before here on Jow Forums
I feel like we are very similar I tend to get my hopes up and idealize things like dating, fucking, drugs and I always end up disappointed.
>would gladly suffer for the people and fight for them I always tried to be that guy
do you feel like you think more objectively than most people? do you feel like you are good at debating?
Jacob Williams
yes modern western life has made me numb to the sick point where i almost hope really fucked up things happen just so i can feel something real again, people around me get "stressed" they need money for the next iphone, they look at me weird when i tell them i wont work at a holiday because i dont need the money that much and rather rest and they call in, they look like im some weird alien life form because i cycle to work (7 kms, 20 minutes)
the chaos and fear after the hebdo shootings actually felt fun and nice, gave people a small reality check (but then again, for what? its pointless anyway)
the very occasional non bot genuine person you meet now and then are a nice relief
>do you feel like you think more objectively than most people? im hardcore, for example watchmens end was very satisfying to read during my youth where ozymandias kills millions to save billions
>do you feel like you are good at debating? I could care less about debating. Im more diplomat kind of person. I can easily hold a group of different people under me and let them work together while they wouldnt really like each other otherwise. I always inform myself by other specialists if i need good information.
ill probably call it in a couple years and move to mongolia
Jose Cooper
I have what you have
do drugs like LSD or shrooms, its the most fun you are capable of experiencing id argue its the only fun you are able to experience, even the worst trips are still enjoyable
Connor Scott
ill try it for sure, but ultimately i think the only real solution is just to leave the west and live a simple low maintenance lifestyle in a third world shithole or something
i read "wolf totem" some time ago, i dream of riding my horse on the mongolian steppes, living on the peruvian mountains and keeping a llama farm, these simple fantasies about escaping this numb hell are the only things that keep me going
Luke Watson
imo you are the problem, not your surroundings you will be bored anywhere
