I took a tinder girl out for a date, went for coffee and a movie. Held hands and kissed at the end. I thought the date went well, she mentioned she didn't know what she wanted from dating in the next conversation we had over text, we spoke a little more, then she ghosted.
Was the issue here that I held her hand, and took it in a "serious" manner, when Tinder is supposed to be for more casual encounters?
I really liked her, which is my own fault. I got out of a 5 year relationship a few months back and this was my first attempt at dating.
Can someone give me some advice? I guess it must have went st least okay, since she clearly wanted to kiss at the end. But reflecting on our conversations, I came off too strong, and she was probably just looking for casualness. Any tips or advice would help.
It didn't hit me that holding hands was not something you do unless you're in a real relationship, I got used to it with my ex. Do you think that's probably the big fuck up?
Also it feels terrible to be rejected like this, put me out of misery.
You did nothing wrong. Girls are like that. Forget about her and move on.
Connor Martin
Women act based on how they feel. They will ghost you for no reason and feel no obligation to justify it and they dont care if it makes you feel like shit. Dont worry about why she ghosted you. Just keep dating until one doesnt.
Caleb Taylor
Shit happens, you did nothing wrong. Smetimes people don't find each other in the same period of their life
Josiah Gray
That's happened to me three times on bumble, not sure why women do that, but it seems to be very common
David Gray
Probably because tinder and bumble are for hookups. If you want to find a nice girl to date, look in real life.
Jason Nelson
Because girls are stupid.
Nathan Hall
Tinder sucks ass even for casual hookups, I'm hard pressed to conjure up a single positive point about it
Like I'd say it's convenient but it's not really, considering it doesn't get consistent results
Cameron Smith
Thanks for the support my dudes. It's my first time feeling rejection, and it really does make you feel like absolute shit.
MY first relationship was also the 5 year one that I got dumped in a little while back.
What do you recommend instead of tinder? I'm 23, my ex and I were hardcore in each other's lives since 17. I don't really have any friends left, and I don't know how to make new ones, or how to meet women.
I'm just really lonely all the time. I feel bad that I fucked it up with this new girl so fast, it was my own fault for projecting so much on her I think. But lesson learned on that.
Tyler Price
I think part of your problem is that you’re coming from this long term relationship, you’re lonely, and you’re looking for a girl to fill that void immediately. You tried to be too serious with that tinder girl after meeting her once. It’s possible to get a relationship out of a dating app, but take it slow and don’t be discouraged by rejection
Carter Richardson
Ya lmao same thing happened ot me, op, well similar.
She was all over me which i wasn't used to, first time i used tinder, okay i flirted back.
Saw her and I kissed her hand at the end of the night, didn't feel like kissing her lips honestly (she was kind of boring but i liked her). Then after that ghosted on me.
In real life when dates went well i'd know pretty quickly, but i got ghosted hard after this.
Brandon Kelly
I’ve studied this a bit and I agree apps like this are pretty poor for relationships and the most successful matches are often bolt on lies and social absentee. Long and short you have to be a little sociopath to be good at tinder
Yeah, I know my mistake now, I feel like a dumb ass because she was actually a great gal to talk to. I keep thinking about what her and her friends think about me. I don't know why. The idea of getting roasted in the group chat is on my mind a lot, and I don't really know why I care. I guess it's because I'm new to rejection and dating, and I've had a double whammy of rejection.
Kayden Fisher
Still OP, I actually feel really guilty, not just rejected. She was sweet, and I clearly ended up making her uncomfortable. I won't apologize because the best thing is to let her move on and force myself to get over it. But I feel like I did her wrong and that doesn't sit well with me either.
Christian Morgan
You came off too desperate and needy. The fact you wrote this blog about her shows just how bad it is. You went on one date and you were talking to her like you wanted to marry her, that'll turn any girl off. Why tf would you make the conversation turn into what she was looking for? You went on one date. If you acted like she was just another girl out of the billions out there, you'd be banging her right now. Instead you treated her like one in a million.
Nolan Robinson
My ex was a god at tinder, dude could match and get five dates a day, he was fit and charming. He was also a massive alcoholic, had a history of abuse and perpetually unemployed. Like I said the winners on there are not marriage material
Gavin Reyes
Thanks for the kick in the ass, that's what I figured when I reflected on it. Lesson learned I guess. It's hard to control your emotions and feelings, I guess the solution is to just date a lot of girls and carefully watch myself to prevent doing that in the future?
Landon Lopez
Just know that tinder is a meat locker, I’m not saying it can’t lead to more just as a one night bar stand can but it’s not the norm or expected
Isaiah Barnes
There's too much to unwrap to tell you all in one post. But basically stop treating these girls like they're marriage material and you care about them and they're perfect little angels. These girls are tinder thots. They hand out nudes like memes and give out kisses like handshakes. They know they're shitty women, they know they're sluts, and they want a guy that can see through the little angel act they like to play, and instead know they're shitty and knows they're sluts. Next time after a date, don't talk to the fucking girl, don't message her, don't ask her what shes fucking looking for. Ghost her, if she's interested she'll message you to hang out. If she doesn't message you then no witty or funny or clever message you send would have gotten her back anyway.
Julian Perez
That makes a lot of sense, puts a lot into perspective. Lots of good advice so far I think, thanks again
Leo Evans
Girls are fickle etc etc.
Sounds like she wanted you to take the lead and define a course of action for the both of you.. Because she can't be bothered to be a responsible human, she has to parasite a purpose that's conveniently provides by her surroundings... You didn't give her enough of an easy mode for her weak will..
Women are immature, but they also need to get this done sooner: before their youth runs out and their options dry up. So the generalized average of these factors mean that women coast and try to wing things as some kinda enlightened opportunist, until the settle after finding enough of their immediate and imagined future desires securely provided for.
This means most women make terrible companions, and aren't good relationship material, and rely on dishonesty and self-deception which you are expected to cater to. Consider that most women are entitled children until she proves to be a real individual.
Samuel Russell
Typo edits:
Provides = provided
But they also need to get this done sooner = but they also need to get *things* done sooner
Until the settle = until *they* settle
Kayden Diaz
Mate you can get ghosted for the worst date or the best date. It is pure, 100% randomness. You barely know these people, and you have no idea what kind of state their lives are in, or they themselves are in. It's happened to me several times (8+ ghosts over 2 years, with a hookup rate of about 3-4 a year). It seems like no matter how hard you try, there is always a chance it will go no where. You just have to shield yourself from that as best you can. You can do it user.
Anthony Hill
Superior autism a+
Ethan Peterson
Fixed grammar: >Girls are fickle etc etc. >Sounds like she wanted you to take the lead and define a course of action for the both of you.. Because she can't be bothered to be a responsible human and communicate directly, she has to parasite a purpose that's conveniently provided by her surroundings... And so you didn't give her enough of an easy mode for her weak will.. >Women are immature, but they also need to get things done sooner: before their youth runs out and their options dry up. So the generalized average of these factors mean that women coast and try to wing things as some kinda enlightened opportunist, until they settle after finding enough of their immediate and imagined future desires securely provided for. >This means most women make terrible companions, and aren't good relationship material, and rely on dishonesty and self-deception, which you are expected to somehow cater to. Consider that most women are entitled children until she proves to be a real individual.
