Is it normal to not feel anything for a girl at the start of the relationship or is that just the sign I should move on...

Is it normal to not feel anything for a girl at the start of the relationship or is that just the sign I should move on and go find someone I feel enamored with from the beginning???

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That isnt normal

Why would you possibly start a relationship with someone you don’t feel anything for?

to see where it goes. Idk man I did that with the last girl I was with and felt nothing but eventually fell in love but im starting to think something is wrong with me since no women are sparking such interest in me
exactly why I asked

Normal? Probably not. But it still can be functional relationship. Honestly, i would rather be in relationship with someone who's not attractive to me, but whose good friend and good person than the opposite.

Also, people tend to grow on each other.

Have you told her how you feel?

yes but she still seems to pursue being my gf and stuff despite me seeming "mentally ill", well thats how I feel I sounded when I explained my apathy

This is a good question OP. I dated a girl for 3 years that I was absolutely in love with. I can't remember if I even felt a "spark" with her when he first started dating. I def thought she was hot and wanted to fuck, but I can't remember if I was like yknow feeling shit for her at first.

how many women have you dated?

Only her seriously. I've "dated" girls for about a month maybe 5-6 times. I have a problem where I lose interest and motivation in pursuing them, but never for her.

Op here. This right here is exactly how I feel. Id go flirt with a girl then when im alone id get depressed and try to get as far away from having a relationship with said girl. Why'd you break up with her user?

It's normal the older and more experienced you get. Young people have raging hormones and experiencing new sensations fall head over heels rather easily. But the closer you get to 30, the less you begin to feel for these chicks. You've been there, done that, it's not new, it's not novel. She's going to have to stick around and continue to impress you before you start feeling stronger emotions.

If you're a fucking teenager and you don't feel shit, then you're probably just wasting your time with her. If no girls make you feel anything and you're a teen, see a professional.

No, you're good. Proceed.

You don't need feelings.

Because if you do, your "feelings" are going to fuck you and your emotional state.

So learn to be in relationships without feelings, pussy.

I think it stems from a couple things. One is that you're lonely and you DO want that relationship but you're in a mixed hormonal state and just kinda grasping for it with people you ultimately don't really like, and when you're alone you see that. Two, I think you just have a standard and you're not meeting it. When I'm horny, I'll feel really energetic about talking with some girl but once I bust a nut, all that goes away and I see how I'm not interested. My ex was a girl that I'd bust a nut and STILL want to be with her.

I didn't break up with her, she dumped me. She was depressed and I wasn't taking it seriously, I stopped trying to take her out and keep things new because I was so busy with school. So some other guys basically "identified" with her feelings and she felt an attraction. Recently reconnected with her and I feel 20x stronger for her now, but she's dating someone new and she's got feelings for some guy who left her after me still. Its a mess really.

>she's dating someone else and is pining after someone who came after you
I wouldn't waste my time with her if I was you, sounds like she wasn't super into you.

should I just quit messing with these people then? what do you suggest?

I'm not wasting my time with her. I've let her know that I still care and that I always would and if she ever wanted to come back to try again, I'd be down. I'm not pursuing her though.

The only reason I feel that way is because of how good our relationship was. It was an extremely loving, supportive one. She took me from a loser with no ambition and no drive and now I'm in medical school.

That's nice but you're setting yourself up to be the rebound guy if her current relationship goes south. To each is own.

Its tricky because I don't know the answer myself. I think its deleterious to keep contact with girl you know deep down you want nothing to do with. If you have to TRY to be with them, its not worth it. I think you can TRY to get to know them, but if getting to know them feels like a chore its not meant to be. I think emotions can come, but just seek a woman you find attractive and would be proud to be with. One you'd bring around your friends, not just to your bed. If she's cool you'll catch feelings. If she's not, you won't. You'll know its time to move on when you want other girls. But once you're in a relationship its normal to want other girls, but not when you're really falling for her.

I really doubt she'd ever try me again. She's big into tinder now and has 50+ dudes in line. She'll probably try me again when she's 35 and her time is running out. But I'll have moved on by then, I pray lol.

I feel you brother. I'm in the exact same spot. Last time I felt something strong for a girl was 17. She was my best friend but things didn't work out well (as in I was miserably rejected) and I decided to put the whole finding a female sub-quest on hold. I'm 21 now, and have been in a relationship for one month with a girl who's objectively good waifu material. She's decent looks-wise and pretty affectionate. Also since she's been sheltered for her whole life, her decadence levels are pretty low. I thought I could outsmart life by settling with someone with great prospects on the long run, even though I don't particularly feel anything strong for her. I don't even feel anything when hugging her. I'm in this very dire situation where I can't backpedal without destroying her emotionally since I'm the first guy she gets close to, and I don't even know if I should to be honest. The rational side of my brain is telling me to stay, but the other side just keeps bugging me that something is very wrong and that I'm headed for a miserable life. Help me anons.

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Or a hot guy instead of a professional....

It would be better for him to see a professional in case he has some sort of underlying medical or psychology issue instead of trying to see if he likes it in the ass. If he was gay, I'm sure he'd know and not need some man to convince him he is.

good thread
was going through the same but didn't pursue it further, I think I should next time