Be a 23 year old kissless virgin

Yes, definitely reach out to her. Confess and say you're sorry, that you lied about your previous sexual encounters because you yourself were insecure. It'll probably take a lot more time before you guys will be able to meet in person again but I think she'll understand and feel a different kind of connection knowing that you are more like her with the self-esteem issues and stuff.

>You fucking idiot, you spent a year and a half pussyfooting around with this one girl, have one bad experience in bed and let her run away? And you think that's being dignified??

To be honest mate, I don't think I had much of a choice. It was her decision. This is the last message she wrote to me

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part 2

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sorry man, she has met Chadsworth H. Chaddington.

>What I did was cruel, I've been feeling very confused lately
What did she do...? Sleep with you?

Hahahaahaha I won't lie, that did cross my mind. If I ever catch wind of it I may just end it all.

I meticulously check instagram to see what posts she has liked. Is that normal?

>What did she do...? Sleep with you?

I guess ditching me after I couldn't get it up might be perceived as cruel. But I understand her point of view

Tell her you miss her. And how you regret not telling her you were a virgin and you apologize for not telling the truth.
Maybe offer to meet in person again but nothing sexual. Just meet as friends and talk. If you really care about her, you'll accept being friends for now, you can't force a girl into a relationship. Just take it slow and try and reconnect.

OP, you have a way out of this, but you won't find it here , between the incel degenerates and other sperglords. check about online elsewhere on how to get out of the friendzone, then take it from there. bone up on your game, this is salvageable, especially given your shared history with her. plan this carefully before you start crying and spilling your spaghetti mind.
Go get this Camille Lapute!

>OP gets rejected cus he didn't get hard
>"lol just keep talking to her and apologize"
the absolute state of Jow Forums

Every guide out there on 'getting out of the friendzone' is to just move on with your life and not be so fixated on the one girl. I feel like this applies in this case

>My love is as a fever, longing still
>For that which longer nurseth the disease,
>Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,
>Th’ uncertain sickly appetite to please.
>My reason, the physician to my love,
>Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
>Hath left me, and I desperate now approve
>Desire is death, which physic did except.
>Past cure I am, now reason is past care,
>And frantic-mad with evermore unrest;
>My thoughts and my discourse as madmen’s are,
>At random from the truth vainly expressed:
> For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,
> Who art as black as hell, as dark as night.

rejection hurts, man

He isn't fucking friendzoned. He fucked her. She rejected him afterwards. But there was still attraction there, enough for her to fuck him.

Just because a girl says "let's be friends" doesn't mean you're friendzoned. In cases like this it's a way of dressing up a rejection.

OP wants to try and reconnect with her. So I'm giving advice on how to do it. If she's not interested when he sends her another message, then he should definitely just leave it and move on even though it hurts.

My first time I couldn’t get hard, but since the girl stuck around I eventually got to have sex. I had a hookup recently and couldn’t get hard, so we both slept together and in the morning my dick finally worked so we banged it out. It’s stage fright and nobody talks about it but it happens to me

>In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,
>For they in thee a thousand errors note;
>But ‘tis my heart that loves what they despise,
>Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote;
>Nor are mine ears with thy tongue’s tune delighted,
>Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
>Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
>To any sensual feast with thee alone:
>But my five wits nor my five senses can
>Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
>Who leaves unswayed the likeness of a man,
>Thy proud heart’s slave and vassal wretch to be.
> Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
> That she that makes me sin awards me pain.

>Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
>Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
>Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
>And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
>Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
>And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
>And every fair from fair sometime declines,
>By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;
>But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
>Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
>Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,
>When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.
> So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
> So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

>In cases like this it's a way of dressing up a rejection.

so you're saying that I categorically have absolutely no chance with her?

Actually I think you have a better chance with her than if you were legitimately friendzoned. She fucked you and presumably found you attractive. If that's the case, there's potential there. Most times guys are friendzoned it's because they pursued a girl (pretty much in the same way you did; long-distance/over the internet for a very long time) but never got to the "I like you" phase, and the girl can only see him as a friend. This is usually because the girl didn't see the guy as attractive in the first place, and had he tried to date her early off he would've found that out soon and saved a ton of time.

In you case, you actually took her out on dates and got her in bed. That means she at least found you attractive and liked your personality enough to fuck you.

I honestly think if you were to meet up with her in person and talk about it, there's a decent chance, at least 50/50, that she'd give it another shot. You just need to get her to meet up and talk earnestly and honestly. Talk about why she feels the way she does (i.e., why she feels like she doesn't want a relationship) and how you feel about her (as a way of gently turning the screws to get her to capitulate).

Worst case, she more or less tells you the same thing she texted you and won't shift. You'll have wasted the drive out there. Best case, you dispel the retardation from her mind and get her to let you have another shot.

yes
move on

Ignore this guy. She rejected you because she was having an emotional breakdown over your erection. It's far from a certain thing. It may be the opposite of what she wants.

Sometimes you have to chase after the girl when she runs away crying, my friend.

>My reason, the physician to my love,
>Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,
>Hath left me, and I desperate now approve
Hahaha holy shit Shakespeare was fucking incredible. Goddamn.

Amazing how little shit has changed, isn't it?

Fuckin' ay. I can't believe that was written hundreds of years ago. Thanks for posting it, friendo.

Ok I need to clarify that we didn't actually fuck. I couldn't get it up, so there was no actual fucking involved - fuck me the shame.

About her finding me attractive, I think she found me a lot more attractive via WhatsApp than in real life. I'm a recovering fatty, still fat with man boobs. I look much better with clothes on and that's the only photos she ever received of me, except from my dick once or twice. I'm a muay fighter with a few amateur fights and I could tell she was attracted to the danger/alpha aspect of that but literally everything else about me is beta. My day job is an accountant and I'm not very 'alpha' in my every day persona. I think I maybe painted a more alpha image of myself than what I actually am. I could tell she didn't find me attractive when I got butt naked. And I know for sure it would have been a sight for sore eyes when I was standing there with my 3 inch flaccid prawn in hand with hairy man boobs and stretch marks on my stomach.

It's my fault for not completely telling her the truth but I thought I could get away with it. Turns out you can't.

I have this strong desire to not contact her for a while and just work on myself. I want to shed the fat and study for an exam I have coming up soon. I also want to give no fap a try and see if it helps my dick. Problem is she is going back to France in may, time isn't really on my side.

>Problem is she is going back to France in may, time isn't really on my side.
Are you stupid? That's more than six months away!

Also just to throw a curve ball in here, but she was anorexic as a teenager and still is. She has overbearing parents and a twin sister that she mimics. She was raped when she was a child and has told me about her fantasies for really rough sex. I guess she desires a strong man that will really just have his way with her and no have no regard for her wellbeing. The trouble is, is I'm a very caring and loving person. I wouldn't dare be rough with her, I don't have it in me to do that kind of stuff.

Well I'm going to sleep. Thanks everyone for your advice, I hope this thread is still up when I wake up tomorrow morning so I can see any more responses. Good night

Well it sounds like you've made up your mind to just surrender as soon as a little adversity crops up. Guess you picked the right kind of women to chase.

I don’t get it. She said she doesn’t want a relationship with OP. Is that not the end of it? He can get another girl, she’s not the only one

>She said she doesn’t want a relationship with OP. Is that not the end of it?
No. Women, especially upset women, will say stupid shit like this. "I don't want to be with you anymore" and then expect you to chase after them. I figured OP had a good thing going and actually wanted to be with her. There's no harm in chasing a little until it's actually clear she has no feelings for him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to change a girl's mind if she still harbors affection for you.
>He can get another girl, she’s not the only one
Never said he should pursue her exclusively at this point. He shouldn't have been pursuing her exclusively in the first place. But if things work out and he does get a relationship with her, then there's that.

Look, OP. Don't try to win her over, girls move on quicker than men when it come to break ups. She left you over something that could've been overcame easily, she should've said "Well, there's always next time". No, she didn't. She left over the most superficial reason that you couldn't get erect. If you want to try her again, go for it, but she really weren't in it for the talks or humour or even wanting to be with you for the long run i.e., marriage, she sought the relationship as purely sex driven. If you get with her again, you'll get your heart broken even harder.

>the shame.
you laugh it off, then relax and cuddle some more.

I have some problem as OP, is there any way to fix it? Because now I just finger my gf for an hour and eat her out, but it doesn't make me feel good at all.

>No. Women, especially upset women, will say stupid shit like this. "I don't want to be with you anymore" and then expect you to chase after them. I figured OP had a good thing going and actually wanted to be with her. There's no harm in chasing a little until it's actually clear she has no feelings for him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to change a girl's mind if she still harbors affection for you.

Wouldn't you want to do the opposite, act like you don't care, that it doesn't matter to you and that you've got better options than her?

I feel you man. I was soft my first time too, it felt really shitty.
I've talked about it here and it doesn't seem that uncommon. Other people have also said their first time they couldn't get hard. It feels bad but you just have to get over it and try again ASAP.

Never cry or kill yourself over a bitch

So you think when she said she doesn't want a relationship, what she really means is 'i want you to pursue me harder'?? Do you think that is the case? If so I might message her tonight and tell her I miss her. I do miss her, I was/am infatuated with everything about her.

It may seem stupid but the only reason I go to work and work hard every day is so I can save enough money to buy a comfy home and eventually ask her to live with me. It sounds pathetic but I've planned my whole life based on her being in it.

Story?

I dunno man, avoid coming across as a wimpy kid. also the idea of working your arse off just for her is a bit beta. you ought to be doing that anyway, but don't put someone else in front of you like this .

>Wouldn't you want to do the opposite, act like you don't care, that it doesn't matter to you and that you've got better options than her?
Both are an option. My feeling on the matter is that the reverse psychology gambit you're describing is overplayed, and even when it wasn't, was an exceptionally high-risk maneuver. What's more, there are circumstances here making that maneuver difficult to execute; she's 40 minutes away from OP and they're not going to be in regular contact anymore. She's not going to really see him pretending to move on.

Women find straightforward behavior in men to be refreshing these days. Added to that, faking "I'm moving on" is something that takes time and effort just to see if it fails. A last ditch pursuit can be over in a few hours. All you really need to do is look her in the eyes and confirm that she's done with you; that any attraction that was there is now gone. A campaign to induce jealousy might take weeks before you're convinced it has failed.

So I'm going to tell you a story that's got some relevance here.

I had a crush. She was my best friend going on 5 years and we texted every single day (it was long distance). Over the previous six months we'd started flirting pretty hard but never openly stated that we were into each other. I was getting ready to suggest I come out to visit after I wrapped up this business that'd been taking all my attention.

Then we got into a fight. She sent me something, and I reacted that it was funny. She got incensed, insisting that it was sexist. I argued, at which point she called ME sexist for finding it funny. That hurt, a lot. As I continued to argue via text, this time defending my personal reputation as fair and impartial, I began to cry. I felt the five years I'd been friends with her, and the closeness I'd finally started to achieve, slipping away. As the conversation ended, I saw no way forward.

For about a week, we weren't talking to each other. I tried awkward little olive branch moves just to get her talking about something else. Nothing. At one point, she asked if I was trying to apologize... what the fuck? Why should I apologize? I got angry again and just stopped.

Then I figured it was over. I was gonna just yell at her for not understanding how hurtful it was for her to call me a sexist... and that would be it. In what I wrote, I told her that she'd made me cry with how she'd been to me.

She responded. It was an awkward conversation at first, with her asking a lot of questions. Then, finally, she started confessing her feelings to me. That she'd been considering giving up on me because I'd not made a move, but my telling her how much I was hurt was a revelation of how much I actually cared about her.

The lesson is that sometimes you've got to show an opening, a little weakness, to draw in the other party. In military terms, think of it as a feint to draw the enemy from his fortifications, so your stronger forces can flank and annihilate them.

sorry mate, you've gone full retard with your b/s self-justifying faggotry here:
you said it yourself, she wanted you to man up and make a move, you didn't so she gave you the classic shit-test and you fell for it like a true-blue beta.
yeah, so where is she now then? if you haven't wifed her up and are living happily ever after, the lesson here is not to be a dumb wimp. Chad up, lad.

Not OP, but you talking about love relationship with military terms because he's a man is sexist and makes your crushes accusation sound quite true.

>buzzwords
wew

What would you say to me working on myself and my problems for a month or two and then reconnecting? I feel like I want to give her some space and let her miss me (if she does). I think it would be more effective than running after her right now

good idea. go for it!

Not that interesting. Was 18 about half a semester into uni. Had some luck hooking up with girls at clubs but never sex.
One night we're out with friends and I have a chat with a girl. Mutual friend tells me she's into me so I go ahead with it.
When we got to my room it wouldn't get up even though I was hard making out with her before. Gave up quick but just kept making out pretending it wasn't a big deal.

I was depressed the next day, especially when I told my friends about it and they suggested I was gay. But then a week later I tried again and it got hard but I couldn't finish without going soft again.
You just get over the nerves after you've tried once or twice.

*note: she had a pretty face but not a great body and in hindsight that was an important factor
Haven't had a problem since

That's understandable. She knows she is in the wrong.
Just ghost her. Nothing else needs to be done or said

>dropping someone because he can't get hard the first time
kek. females I swear

Well, obviously you’re where you are and know her. If you feel like working on yourself is a good idea then do so. My take though is that there’s nothing wrong with giving her a “last chance” before moving onto focusing on yourself.

There’s a reasonable chance in a couple months you’ll make similar excuses.

>she had a pretty face but not a great body
shoulda stuck it in her gob then mate

this thing happens very often to guys, so dont overthink it too much. here is what i would do:
write a short text and tell her you were nervous. tell her its ok that she does not want a relationship and perhaps, if she is interested, you can stay in touch as friends with benefits and practise, since you have now more trust to her.

what do you mean by giving her a last chance? She ended it with me. Do you mean texting her and begging for her to take me back?

>She ended it with me
maybe not.
> begging
never!

>She ended it with me.
Not really. She sent you a text and you're accepting it without a fight. You're basically telling her you didn't feel passionately about her to begin with, that you didn't care that much about her beyond having sex. Essentially that you were fooling around with her. Because if you did love her as much as she definitely loves you, your reaction would be much more visible.
>Do you mean texting her and begging for her to take me back?
No, I mean having it out with her. Actually talking about it, telling her you aren't letting her get away with just giving up. I mean applying pressure, veneered with reason, to get her to stop this stupid shit.

I had this issue aswell the first time i started having sex aswell, its because you are nervous and probably overthinking, you just need a girl who gives you time, and then the boner comes natural, atleast thats how it was for me.

>Not really. She sent you a text and you're accepting it without a fight.
This honestly. If you listen to most of the men on Jow Forums, you'd think anytime a girl does something shitty you're supposed to dump her and move on. Or any time she says "do this or we're breaking up" or "I'm breaking up with you because of X" that you're just supposed to be broken up and move on.

Reinforcing your own tendency towards passivity is far, far worse than being "beta" and chasing after a girl when she runs away.

A sample size of one is not enough to make any strong recommendations, but if this continues to be a problem, discontinue porn

Which one is the chick in the picture?
>inb4 you get mad
sorry OP i had too

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:(

I think she's pretty man, she may not be a traditionally 'hot' woman but I think she's beautiful. She is just such a delicate creature. She has such a pretty French accent that I loved to make fun of. The french accent is so dramatic it's honestly my favourite. I could cuddle up to her forever and never let her go. She is my darling

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no bro I was trying to roast you, but i was just kidding she sounds sweet, I hope you figure shit out.

be honest guys, do you think i'm reaching?

I'm in the black t shirt

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>stroller
bruh

nah, she babysits her young cousins

Definitely don't just stop.
I had a similar experience.
>dating ex coworker that I always crushed on
>we fool around for hours but she never lets me fuck her
>seriously, like three hour foreplay sessions
>doesn't even touch my dick or let me mess around with her
>the time comes for my dick to be escape my pants
>can't get it up
>"uhhhh this never happens"
>happens three more fucking times
>eventually, spend the night with her and fuck her into the ground with an unstoppable piece of solid morning wood

Just try again OP

listen man, we're all rooting for you (no pun intended). we are all hoping you can get it together and get back with her. you all look like you guys do muay thai or something in that pic, so I can't figure out how you turn to mush when faced with a young girl. good luck dude.