1993

>1993
>6 years old
>I bring a close friend, a black boy, to the home where I live with my adoptive grandparents
>Grandfather was born in 1915 and gets mad at a black kid being in his home
>screams at the "little nigger" to get out and afterwards beats me with a belt and dunks my head under water
>remain close friends with the kid throughout our lives
>Grandpa died yesterday at the age of 103
>my friend tells me that he's always resented not writing off my grandfather for being a racist
>gives me an ultimatum: either skip the funeral to prove my loyalty and friendship, or he'll cut ties with me

I loved my grandfather, I love my friend. My heart hurts.

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Your friend is an asshole. Never cave to ultimatums, especially petty and artificial ones.

Say that you'll go for your family but you won't go for your grandpa.

Unironically this. If I ever had a friend try and guilt/manipulate me like this, I'd cut ties with them first.

It's not their business if you attend the funeral or not, and they're just trying to exert power over you.

I sort of disagree with the others. My grandpa was also born around the same time as yours and he was never racist like that. Sorry but he was just an asshole, has nothing to do with when he was born. Your grandpa is dead now, your friendship with your friend could last for the rest of your lives. If you loved him, silently pay your respects or go to the grave later or something, say a prayer if you’re religious. But if you love your friend, don’t go to the funeral. Good friends are so rare. That or make it clear that you’re only going to support your mother or whatever.

It's less about the grandpa, and more about the friend trying to control OP. I don't know what your friends are like, but I've never had a real friend try and force me to prove my loyalty like this. It's a pretty huge red flag.

This. You can disagree with what a family member's opinions and still go to their funeral. That sort of ultimatum is totally unreasonable.

Your friend has pulled a dick move.

Don't ask for permission.
Don't ask for forgiveness.

only a sith would deal in ultimatums

Is that little nigger more important than your grandfather? What has he done to prove his loyalty to you? Oh wait he can't because you're probably white and you'll look racist making him prove his loyalty to you. It's just a nigger being a nigger.

You suffered abuse but you still stuck to your friend. Seems like a proof of loyalty to me, but I can understand where your friend comes from. See if there's any way your can get to a compromise with him (ex: You get to go to your Grandpa's funeral but you donate x amount of money or x amount of time to an organisation against racism).

>78 year old capable of hitting someone with a belt or dunking their head under water
No.

>but you donate x amount of money or x amount of time to an organisation against racism
lmao

Your friends an asshole for demanding something like that of you, but considering everything it makes sense.

Go to the funeral OP. Tell your friend that if he's a real friend then he'll understand that you can't be held accountable for the actions of your grandfather, and that you need to be there for your family.

You guys obviously have a long history together, something like this shouldn't be the reason why the two of you fall apart.

Wow. Only a nigger would be so insensitive to the passing of a family member.

He's quite literally telling you that his feelings are more important to yours. Why do you have to "prove" you're a good friend? Either you are or you aren't. This is manipulation 101. Which brings us back to the original point, why would you friend demand this? Because it'll make him feel better in an evil way, as his feelings are more important than yours.

Why do you need to prove you're a good friend when he is so obviously a bad one?

This is what you get for being friends with niggers. They are incredibly selfish.

Time to tell this "little nigger" to fuck off

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While I don't at all agree with your grandpa, he sounds like he was right. While he didn't approve of your friend, you continued being close instead of turning your back on him. Now your friend demands you turn your back on your grandpa and insult a dead's memory by not attending his funeral. The funeral of a person you love and who put a roof over your head and food in your plate. Your friend has drawn a line. Either you accomodate him completely or he doesn't want you around him.
The choice is yours.

Impossible to give up that bbc isn't it femanon?

I had a ‘friend’ like this who would guilt trip me into hanging out and doing stuff with him. I have anxiety and stuck around but would feel worse and worse. When I finally stopped putting up with his bullshit and manipulation and cut him out of my life I felt amazingly better.
If someone is pulling this sort of manipulation, they aren’t worth having around in your life. Go find someone else who’s more mature and considerate to spend your time with.

This
Tell your friend you have no need to betray family at his behest and no interest in humouring someone who needs friendship 'proven' by such an underhanded act
I would in fact tell him right there that "it's a damn shame I didn't listen to my grandfather because that's a low fucking blow from you and I am very fucking done with that already." And when he pulls his nig head out of his nig ass, he can come back

That's be me anyway, but I'm that kind of harsh person

What? Why wouldn't he be? My great aunt's husband is 96 and he still mows the lawn and doesn't need a walking stick

>All old people are totally feeble and brittlw
Just because being feeble is in your genes, doesn't mean it's in everyone's.

Friends will come and go anyway.
I have only one of my friends from highschool left today, maybe we talk once a month.

Right now he only cares about his wife and his kids and yeah, he has no time for me.

My friends from college, they call me on my birthday abd say ”hey, we should hang out” and then it never happens.

Many times i have made plans with them, but in the end its something like ”no, i forgot i promised my gf i would spend some time at home this friday, sorry”

>asking a nigger for permission

Lmao, get some self respect you cuck.

sounds like your grandfather was right about him
if he knocks on your door to talk things over after he cuts you off, have no doubt he's there to rob and murder you

>but I can understand where your friend comes from

Dude what, why? I mean, "your grandpa was a racist asshole but he was your grandpa" is about as far as you go with that shit. You friend's family business is not your family business

What compels people like you to constantly make these comments? Aren't you embarassed?

>i don't consider anything I write or that comes out of my fat fat stupid face
How large is a fucking 6 year old monger?

You're right but it also goes both ways. No friend would tolerate their family being so much of a cunt towards their friends.

Basically everyone involved in this mess is a total dickhead.

skip the funeral, your grandfather was a piece shit who deserves an unmarked pinebox in a shallow grave

Why do you think he was a piece of shit?

Go to the funeral. You'll regret it if you don't and your friend is trying to manipulate you.

hey op

everyone here is calling your friend an asshole and stuff
honestly what your grandpa did probably traumatised him
i got shaken and screamed at by the headmaster of my school at 8 and as soon as anyone does that to me now i just go blank and start hitting them
stuff at young ages fucks you up bad
so im not sure hes an asshole maybe hes just really hurting and its salient right now

i think you should talk to your friend and explain
your grandfather isnt you
if your grandfather was that important then you would have taken his opinion way back then but you didnt
you value your friendship
you dont want your grandfather to be the most prevalent thing in your friendship with him
that your friendship ALWAYS came before your grandfathers opinion
but you gotta say goodbye to your grandfather
because itll hurt for you not to say goodbye

Your grandfather was right.

i want you to know that this thread is bait, my dear user.