PLEASE HELP ME. I messed up with my gf

So this girl and I just became official like a day ago and I think I already fucked up.
First of all anons, I really like this girl, she is the best thing to happen to me in the longest time.

We were out today getting coffee, and I started a dumb conversation.
For some retarded reason, I thought it would be cool to mention to her I have been in a lot of fights when I was young. I think she didn't receive it well, I played it out that I was just kidding btw, I'm not about that life. whatever, she laughed (i think she believed be) but when I dropped her off, she quickly just left.

I started texting her when i got home, and she is just answering in short texts.
I was supposed to help her with an assignment that is due next week, we started doing that, but she just went to bed in the middle of it I assume.

What do I do?

Do I come clean and say, "look I have been in fights, but that is not who I am anymore? and honestly it was self defense what not." And I promise to be honest with you from now on.

Do I ask her, "is everything alright?" and stick to my lie?

Do I just not mention this thingy, and get her a gift or something? I don't think its that big of a deal anyway; am I overreacting?

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Did you only talk about yourself while you were hanging out? Because that could be the problem.

uhmm no that was a 2 min thingy.

shameless self bump, please help me :(

Get her flowers. Don’t bring the topic up again, just leave it where it’s at for now. When she asks why for the flowers just tell her you were thinking about her and wanted to give her something to make her smile. Also you’re likely overthinking things, so relax I’m sure you can just drift past something like this

doubt it's the fight thing, it's just that you're an autist. don't mention it again. but be sweet to her and good luck.

She might of took you for a compulsive liar. I dont know what would cquse you to suddenly start lying to her. If i adated a girl and she just out of the blue started lying about shit id tell her to fuck off as well.

Best tell her. " hey i was just trying to impress you earlier, im sorry. I wont do it again, would you want to hangout again? Ill take you somewhere nice." Id send her exactly that

fuck I remember when I was 14 and thought it would be super edgy and cool to tell my girlfriend that I'd bled a lot

I meant it in like a deep emo kind of way but she was just grossed out and years later I was still face palming over why the fuck I thought it would be a cool thing to say

let her process this without putting any pressure I'd say. sometimes trying to pin people down and clinging only means you will have less chances to let them stick.

this is a good thing to do too but don't act like it didn't happen

Quickest way for me to guarantee a beat down is to date a violent guy. The thing about most violent guys, they insist they aren't or will never again be violent. That is up until something triggers another violent episode. I hope she is smart and stays away after this warning.

I understand you are upset you were so stupid to tell her and perhaps with the next girl you'll be able to hide a bit longer and suck her up close so she can't get away.

womyn like bad boys, or didn't you know?

This guy is agreeing with me.
Im right, start by being honest. People can tell when you lie to their face. Its a huge red flag.

So again.

"Hey can i talk to you about somethimg."

Yes user

"About earlier, the fights, I was just trying to impress you. Im sorry if it made you feel weird. The truth is i really like you. Would you let me take you on another date next time were free. We can go to wherever you want."


Im married have been for 8 years. Do exactly this.

No, it is. OP you shown then and there you have too much toxic masculinity. Next time talk about your love for feminism, Steven Universe, and be more emotional.

Sure, some do and they accept the risk and occasional bloody lip and swollen eyes and some think they do and try it once and are out of the relationship on the first punch and some avoid putting themselves in the position and get away like OP's girl.

I had a bad boy I thought I could reform and he keep that image and things seemed to be going fine right up until he threw a half full beer can and hit me in the head. He thought it was funny I couldn't stand up but didn't when I had him prosecuted.

>I was just trying to impress you
Well that doesn't negate the fact OP resorts to violence to settle a dispute. This isn't about a misunderstanding but she understood perfectly well what OP is about and she wants no part of it.

You need to calm down. The OP has asked for advice on how to fix his fuck up. Nowhere in this reply or the two above it, is advice on how to fix it. Only breakdowns on how he fucked up. He knows he fucked up. You going to give him advice on how to fix it?

OP asked how to spin this truth he told that fell flat because she doesn't want a violent man. What you and OP want, a way to mask a wolf in a sheep suit.

If you or OP were serious he would already have entered therapy for his violent tendencies or at least make an appointment and with appointment in hand speak to her his commitment to never again be violent.

You have issues that you need to get over. Either that or you need to break the indoctrination that was shoved into your mouth during your education

hahaha or what, you going to punch me?

Like I said not one of you suggested a real remedy the girl could believe other than some empty assurances and telling her she got it all wrong.

OP should make an appointment with a therapist to discuss his violent tendencies and with that in hand have a discussion with her his commitment to change. You know something real instead of a way to dance around the issue.

>help me oh oracle of texting, interpret the secret meaning of these words so I don't have to talk to a woman
what makes you think she is or was yours?

Obsessed with phyical violence are we?

Whatever happened to you in your past. Op is not that guy. Dont project your past experiences onto him. I suggest you speak to a therapist for your uncomfortable spitefullness towards men. Or alternatively you should seek things outside your college and highschool indoctrination bubble. Do your own research and come to your own conclusions. Dont just accept things blindly. Just because your liberal proffesor said it doesnt mean its true.

You started texting her after you hung out.... you probably seem clingy and draining. She probably didn't want to talk more, but still did because she likes you and that's why you got short answers. Loosen the reigns a little.

If you're serious about this girl then come clean bro. I doubt it's that she's probably just busy but if this continues just write something like
" I don't know if this was an issue when I brought it up but I was in a lot of fights growing up. I'm not that person anymore and I grew a lot as a person since then. The reason I want to clear this up is because you mean something to me." Just don't raise your hand in an argument or it'll be over fast.

yep, its the womans fault, typical

How about I grew up in a home my father routinely beat my mother and heard the promises over and over and over again he would change and it would never happen again. Guess what it never did until my mom ran. So don't pull your bullshit, the weak woman must have fallen for left wing propaganda.

Now you will say I'm projecting and all I'm telling you is there are warning signs and OP gave them. If he was serious he would unilaterally do something concrete instead of whine about his gf misinterpreting his confession. And lets just say for argument, OP is a reformed street-fighting man why in hell should his gf be the test case? Hmmmmm? Better safe than hospitalized or worse.

You sound needy and desperate, which is probably a bigger factor than the getting into fights thing

Street fighting is not the same as fighting your spouse. Dan could beat the shit out of Jeff, because Jeff slashed Dans tire, but that doesn't make Dan more likely to beat the shit out of his spouse.

Im not saying its your fault. I am saying your past experiences with your father has given you an unhealthy outlook towards men. If your issues dont stem from indoctrination but abuse than you need to see a therapist.

Dans first impulse when angered is to use his fist instead of walking away and calling the police.

Dan can believe in old fashioned justice without being an unhinged and angry individual.

Here's what I know, a smoldering charcoal briquet burns just like a flame so you stay away.

>old fashioned justice
ah, a vigilante, yeah that justifies impulsive violence.

It's only "impulsive" in your mind, because you're trying to make it sound like it's impossible to dish-out some old fashioned justice without being a total psychopath.

Dan could have completely thought the situation through, knowing that the cops wouldn't find much on Jeff, and that Jeff is fine with going to jail, it's like a second home. Even sending Jeff to jail wouldn't really be a punishment, so Dan punished him in a way that would really affect Jeff.

Also calling the cops is for pussies.

some great autism and rotisserie ITT

Don't he ashamed of your past. Own it. You don't have to be proud of getting in fights but don't alter how you feel based on her reaction. Women look down on that and will see you as easily walked all over.