Is it possible to get a girl who is dead-set against butt play into it?
She admits she's never so much as put a finger up there but claims she knows it won't feel good and can recount half a dozen stories about friends or friends of friends who tried it and didn't like it.
Why do you want to do it? Most couples never do it, because you know, women have a vagina.
Stop watching porn if it affects how you behave with other people.
I don't know why women insist on taking their friends' words for it. Her friends have entirely different pussies and assholes, why the fuck should she listen to them? Utterly ridiculous.
Anyway, don't just fuck around with butt play, OP. Butt plugs are dumb as hell and for porn/kinkster purposes.
Tell her that anal fucking feels amazing (cause it fucking does). MY advice is, once you convince her to, and you definitely can is to have her lie on her side with you basically spooning her beside her after you really, really give her the foreplay of her life. Go down on her, finger her, etc. etc. Then lube her asshole and your dick up. SLOWLY and gently push it in (it will not slide in). Once it starts actually going inside REMAIN GENTLE. And once it's inside a fair amount, maybe halfway (I don't know how big/long your dick is so...let's assume 6in), STOP. Just lie there with your dick in her for a minute. Allow her to relax. Kiss her back/neck. Rub her body. Tell her how good she feels. And then SLOWLY start thrusting in and out. GENTLY. Eventually she should loosen up and then you can fuck her normally, of course don't go super fucking rough. It's anal, it's tight, you shouldn't have to.
Also may I suggest smoking/eating/whateverway some weed or drinking wine beforehand? TOGETHER! It's all about relaxation and taking your time.
--Someone who used to think they hated anal but now loves it
I know I didn't really explain how to convince her. For me, it took really fucking liking/loving someone to try it. He's the only person that's made me feel worth it because he's just a super passionate/attentive lay. Maybe start improving your sex life for a few days/weeks and then approach her and perhaps broach how she feels about it knowing that a lot of women enjoy it.
Thanks user, gives me hope. I already know what I need to do but I've never been with a girl who wasn't into it in her own right and obviously a girl who is willing to try stuff out on her own time is way more likely to have a good experience. I know that anal takes practice in terms of relaxing and also in terms of that bit of pre-stretch and my concern is that even if I do convince her to give it a go she'll be so against it in her mind that it will hurt no matter what.
>someone likes a thing
>MUST BE A PORN ADDICT
>everyone's opinion is wrong except mine
>I did it when I was drunk and high
Awful advice. Hopefully trolling. Don't listen OP.
Would you let your gf fuck your ass?
Sure idgaf I like butt stuff.
Are there anti-anal losers in this thread? Because you're insinuating shit I never said.
Telling OP that his gf should decide things based on her own experiences isn't wild. And even then, the sample size of "her friends" is so small. It would not hurt to do a little bit of research into this. If I listened to every female friend of mine about what sex positions are good or bad, I wouldn't be enjoying myself as much as I am now. I know so many chicks that don't even like giving head, I'd be an idiot to be anti-head because of that.
And another thing, it was a suggest to get high/drink before hand. There's nothing wrong with sharing those things with a partner. Literally millions of people drink and get high with their loved ones, why shouldn't he be able to do so with his girlfriend? I didn't say "GET HER DRUNK OP!!!!". Jesus, prudes are such negative nancies for no reason with lugubriously terrible logic.
I feel you. When she says she knows it won't feel good does she explain why? And does she know ANY woman that enjoys it?
Then let her finger you first, maybe let her try pegging you too.
Her explanation is just the stories she's heard from other people. No idea if she's ever heard good feedback about it and I'm being careful about how hard I press on the topic. Obviously if she's never going to say yes then she's never going to say yes and I'll just deal with it, but the hope is that approaching carefully I can get her to come around.
She's not into butt stuff mate, that doesn't just mean for herself, it means universally. She doesn't want to do that to me any more than she wants me to do it to her.
You're ignoring the fact she has tried it on herself and didn't like it. She's not listening to her friends but her own experience.
Also, alcohol is okay on occasion, but when doing something that requires trust, focus and can hurt you don't do it.
Check your reading comprehension, she HASN'T tried it on herself. Not even a finger, said so right in the first post.
Well I wish you luck, OP. Like I said, for me, it took a lot of love/trust/hope (idk if that's the right word, but I see a long future with this guy) for me to give a try with this guy. Before him I had only tried butt plugs and that was soooo not enjoyable. Hopefully with time she'll open up! No pun intended. Sexual compatibility is such an important part of relationships for folks who enjoy having sex, so I also hope this doesn't get in the way of you two's relationship. But if it does, I wish you all the best. Statistics show that anal is becoming more common in heterosexual relationships. I think it's a great thing, I think it indicates that people are more open about these things and communicating and all that jazz so that it can be enjoyable from the get-go and there are way less bad first times because people were uncaring and such.
You're making anal a bigger deal than it really is. That's the problem. There's still a social stigma around it. It's just fucking. Relax.
You're the one making it a big deal and pushing it on people who don't want it.
Actually I think there's a good hint in that. We've only been together 6 months and I'm the second guy she's slept with, so I should probably just wait longer. Thanks user.
My last gf had never shaved her crotch in her life until I asked her to and by the end of it she was almost a fetishist about being smooth and talked a lot of shit about how she couldn't see hairy women as being feminine and that she never felt better than just after a wax.
People can change their minds.
Working through reservations with a partner != pushing them. You know nothing about long-term compatibility or sex therapy it seems. There's a difference between having on-going discussions with someone about your sex life and your desires and needs and sexual assault. You seem boring and repressed.
Oooh see that's some good added context. If you're only her second partner, then taking it slow will be good. Just keep making sure you rock her socks off every time you do have sex! :)
People need to be more open-minded. This is gonna sound super corny, but before I tried anal with my bf, I thought about that Kanye West bar about "having sex like porn stars". And I thought to myself, "yeah, why can't *I* have sex like a porn star? why do I have to relegate myself to just vaginal, non-kinky sex?"
Also now that I've said that, I want to add too that my bf while into anal a lot, wasn't really into the more "bdsm" kind of stuff. Now he chokes me and slaps my ass because I asked him too and after explaining about...two or three times that it's ok, he won't hurt me, and that I love it and want it.
Communication. Wild concept apparently.
You pretend to be open-minded, but instantly try to shame people as "boring" if they want something else than you. Having a specific fetish is not a achievement and doesn't make you better than other people. You aren't in a position to give advice on the subject.
I called YOU boring. I didn't even call her friends who hate anal boring. I called YOU boring because you're up in a thread about a dude trying to help improve his sex life with his gf trying to convince him to not do so.
I sometimes wonder if she lied and I'm her first partner, or that at least she had only had sex a couple of times with her first boyfriend because she's very bad at it. For a twist she's not prudish in the least, isn't afraid of sexual humor like some inexperienced girls I've met, isn't afraid of sex or talking about it, but when it comes down to it she is very clearly still learning/teaching herself stuff about sex.