I'm 23, virgin, and all my life I've had horrible anxiety which has led to me avoiding most social situations. That's the cause of my virginity, not being super ugly or anything (not great looking but not ugly, just an average dude). I've had girls interested in me before, but my horrible personality turned them off.
Now my anxiety is getting a bit better, but I still worry about how awful I'd be at sex. So how can I practice? I'm in the US so I can't go and practice on hookers. What should I do, fuck a fish? I know for a fact I'll cum instantly if I ever had a naked girl in front of me. How can I fix that?
The only way to make sure the first time isn't horrible is to be honest with your partner. I don't mean you need to tell them up front, but when you're headed toward sex the first time you should tell them that you've never done it before. 99% of the time a girl who is ready to get into bed with you is not going to be so turned off by the virgin thing that she'll change her mind, but it will help to set her expectations and make sure that she knows she needs to help make you as comfortable as possible.
Gabriel Jackson
I can't imagine ever doing something so degrading and humiliating. Isn't sex something that comes naturally? Drunk people have sex all the time, how hard can it be? What is it about the first time that makes it so bad?
Landon Cruz
>I'll cum instantly if I ever had a naked girl in front of me. How can I fix that? Just let it happen and tell the girl you can do a second round better. When you've cummed once your sensitivity will be low enough to have sex properly and cum again after a while.
Nolan Perry
What if I say I need to piss and then I go and rub one out real quick? I know I can do it quick to because if I was ever in a situation where a girl was interested in having sex with me I'd be hard as a rock. Then during the 5-10 minutes of making out/foreplay I can recharge and be ready to go.
Angel Wood
>What is it about the first time that makes it so bad? Your anxiety over it. Anyone who says they weren't nervous the first time is lying. It's a vulnerable thing to get naked and show your imperfections to another person, and then do something incredibly intimate with them. There is no real way to separate sex from the attached emotions unless you have done it a lot, so there will always be that trepidation going into it.
It's neither degrading nor humiliating to admit you're a virgin. Everyone is until they're not. What would really be humiliating is to let a girl believe you're a stud and then get into bed and be rubbish at it. Admitting you're a first timer is far more likely to result in the girl letting it slide when you're not skilled and choosing to show you the ropes rather than just running the opposite direction because the sex was bad.
Gabriel Phillips
But what if they only want you in the first place because they think you have experience?
Kevin Wilson
Why would you not let the girl see you cumming? It's part of what makes the experience arousing for her. Cum on floor or towel while she watches or something.
Samuel Collins
Girls rarely think like that. Unless you've let a girl think you have a giant dick and she's a size queen then the vast, vast majority of them will be primarily interested in your personality.
Henry Torres
Why would I just randomly jerk off into a towel though? I don't want them to see me cum as soon as we make contact, that would be humiliating. If I came 15 minutes earlier I'm sure it wouldn't happen.
In my own experience (not a lot) girls flock towards guys they find good looking, and if their personality isn't so offputting (like mine) that they don't repulse her, then she'd be down to sleep with them.
Also, don't girls like guys a couple years older than them because they're more experienced/mature?
Christopher Richardson
>(not a lot)
Good, open up your fucking eyes and read what I'm writing assuming that I know more than you then. Girls like good looking likeable guys, yes, but not specifically because of the sex thing. Girls like older guys because they are more stable, mature, and experienced AT LIFE. Not because they're hoping he will be a god in bed due to a few more years practice. Sex is a learnable and perishable skill, which means that if you end up with a virgin that person can learn and be taught what to do to make sure you both have a great time. It doesn't even take that long to learn enough to be "good" at sex.
Be honest. Don't fucking lie about it.
Justin Adams
No. Some girls like virgin guys.
Gabriel Gutierrez
Okay, I'll trust that you're right that it's not necessarily about sexual experience. However, part of me being able to get over my social anxiety was "faking it till I make it", meaning acting overly confident, not letting it show at all when I'm nervous, acting like I don't care about something when I care a lot etc. If I project this image, won't there be some expectation that I'm not an old virgin weirdo? Maybe I'm just not mentally well enough for this.
Ayden Rivera
>don't want them to see me cum as soon as we make contact, that would be humiliating. She would find your embarrassment cute so it's okay. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of girl in private. Make out first, let her jerk you off in a towel, lick her pussy wet, then have sex.
Samuel Stewart
You're right, you do sound like a cunt.
Just don't make a big deal out of it. When it looks like things are going that way all you have to do is say something like >hey just so you know, this is sort of going to be my first time and in the (unlikely) event where she wants some kind of explanation about why you've never done it before you just have to say >I've really just never been with anyone who I wanted to do it with
It's that easy. The less of a big deal it is for you the less she will see it as being a big deal. Girls are human too, they get that this kind of shit happens, that maybe a guy misses some opportunities or wants to save it for a special person, and there isn't a girl alive who wouldn't be flattered by the idea that a guy they want to sleep with thinks they're just that extra bit special.
Tyler Brown
I too feared that I would cum early so I did what this site advised (basically male kegels making you able to have non-ejaculatory orgasms). nateliason.com/blog/multiple-orgasms-men I'm still a virgin though.
I don't have any experience, but isn't the whole point of intimacy to be vulnerable and accepted by your partner ? Am I misinterpreting ?
Jonathan Miller
Well I think some girls would find it cute, but some would find it pathetic and feel like they've been tricked.
I guess you could be right, I think because I have very little experience in general I'm assuming that there will be a negative response to everything I do, but some girls out there would be considerate and understanding about it. I'm just picturing me trying to have sex with a girl, cumming on first contact, and then her being turned off and leaving. Then she'd tell her friends about her embarrassing story and I'd be a laughing stock.
Ideally my first time would be with someone I cared about and who understood me, but I don't think I could ever attract someone like that. I'm picturing a one night stand type deal in my head.
Jose Peterson
I lost my virginity at 34, had told my gf beforehand, she took charge and everything worked out fine. Be honest, if she wants to be with you you have nothing to lose.
Mason Garcia
trust me, you know how to beat it up and if you really like the girl it will be great for both of you. straight up ask the girl what she likes, or rather, IF she likes what you're doing, women are extremely pliable ESPECIALLY in such circumstances. work your way up the foreplay ladder if you're still worried, literally dry hump with her on top and she may teach you a few things
Dylan Robinson
Be glad you aren't mixed-race because I never saw a pussy until I dated foreign girls in LDR. American girls hid me from mom and dad and fucking cheated on me.
Chase Campbell
Have sex with her first. foreplay/finger/oral. Then she has sex with you. Sex isn't like porn. It's only 5 - 10 minutes, irl. Edge to practice. As you fuck this girl, think about baseball or grannies and slow the fuck down.
Gabriel Long
This Your firsr time will not be great anyway
If you don't feel comfortable in saying it's your first, just say her you're not "too expert. She'll notice anyway
Josiah Lewis
Lol
Nathaniel Johnson
Don't listen to this OP, never ever tell a girl you're a virgin.
Jeremiah Martin
Why?
Hunter Johnson
He's trolling.
Asher Cook
Same boat. Why not lie about doing it a long time ago? That takes away some stigma and explains the nerves.
Reading all this has made me comfortable to tell the truth, but idk tons of people seem to react very negatively with the whole incel thing.
Adam Moore
> I'm in the US so I can't go and practice on hookers.
I thought the US had legal brothels in some states?
Jordan Phillips
Bro, girls are people too despite what incels here would have you believe.
Luke Lee
I’m not trolling you fuckwit. Girls are repulsed by virgins aged 18+ and you become lower value in her eyes, consciously or subconsciously. That being said, don’t lie about it, just don’t bring it up. If you mess up and she asks if you’re a virgin then be honest.
Charles Richardson
OP here, what do you consider "messing up"? And what is it that makes people so bad their first time? What are the things you learn with experience that makes you better? Can I possibly fake these things?
If I don't bring it up, will it still be obvious from the sex itself I'm a virgin, or is it not that black and white?
Ian Hernandez
>just don’t bring it up but isn't it common for people to talk about this before doing the deed? Why not lie? Srs >uh oh yeah awhile ago
