i've started abstaining because
> std stats at my uni and other unis are scary high
> fake rape accusations are fucking real
> accidental pregnancies or crazy bitches stopping their birth control are a real threat
even if you both get tested, regardless if you're dating or casual, she's gonna fuck someone else eventually and it'll likely be impulsive decision and lead to getting and STD that she passes onto you.
am i being crazy or are my point(s) valid?
you're being overly cautious and letting fear rule your life. this is not a great way to start adulthood.
Have you never heard of condoms before?
>am i being crazy or are my point(s) valid?
Not entirely, no. STD prevention is a fairly easy thing to accomplish but its a legitimate concern. You'd want to make sure that you were using condoms and probably having the morning after pill on standby just in case. If you're using condoms properly your chances of contracting an STD are drastically reduced. As far as the other things go you're being a little ridiculous. Firstly, the "false rape accusation" meme is pretty much an incel dog whistle meant to stir up misogynist rhetoric. They like to portray false rape allegations as this gigantic epidemic when in fact, if you look at the reality of the situation, they are very few and far between if you compare the number of false rapes towards the number of people that are sexually active. False rape arrests/convictions are also statistically rare. You're actually more likely to be raped than to be falsely arrested or convicted of rape. All of this can be pretty much 100% mitigated by understanding the concept of consent and using common sense. Don't have sex in ambiguous situations. Don't have sex while intoxicated or with intoxicated people. Make sure you're being mindful of the people you're sexually active with and avoid anybody who seems unstable, unreliable or at all compulsive. Take time to get to know the person you're having sex with. Its fairly easy and straight forward. Avoiding mentally unstable people is a skill that most normal people have so if that is a legitimate worry of yours then perhaps you should do some introspection. I think you're a tad insecure and a tad paranoid, thinking that betrayal and disease are creeping around every corner. Perhaps its time to stop getting your information from Jow Forums and start living in reality.
they don't 100% protect you though
being abstainant for stds is more than enough
>they don't 100% protect you though
Seat belts don't 100% protect you in a car accident but we wear them anyways because driving is a part of life. If you're looking for a 100% guarantee in life you're living on the wrong planet.
its pretty damn close, user.
that was honestly very insightful, thank you. the reason i'm incredibly paranoid is because i had an ex that cheated on me and caught an std and gave it to me. luckily it was chlamydia, thankfully it's easily treated. she was the ideal "good girl" and it was such a shock. i then left her and dated someone else a year later, i maturely broke up with her and she got upset and tried to kiss me and pull me to the bed for sex, i got up and left and she tried to accuse me for rape. but she had no evidence and her story kept changing so i was in the clear. but ever since those two things hap;pened i've abstained and avoided going on dates, etc. it's been over half a year.
valid points, i struggle to identify red flags because i have aspergers, is there links i can use to learn how to ID these flags?
what about kissing though? oral herpes, hpv, etc
This is not the angle to take.
You're neither wrong nor right; it's the sort of deal where one failure can result in your life's work being undone.
On the other hand, stay on guard all the time and you'll miss out on opportunities.
Having sex is stupid. I've never done it and I never will
Use condoms until you find a girl that you trust.
Yes, she could go and have unprotected sex behind your back , but the chances of your intuition about her being wrong + her having unprotected sex when she cheats + that person giving having an STD and giving it to her is pretty low imo
yikes. That is crazy. I had a friend who hooked up with a girl in college and she accused him of rape. He had to go to court and everything, luckily he wasn't convicted. It definitely happens and you need to be smart about who you associate yourself with. Not just for sex but your friends too. They can get you in a lot of trouble if you let them.
You are being over-dramatic but all of those things are real concerns. Just don't do casual hookups and you can avoid all of that. Sex really isn't good enough to justify the risk. Find a good girl and have a happy relationship and sex life, good luck.
>Don't have sex while intoxicated or with intoxicated people
So avoid clubs and music shows? And don't go to college parties? How is sleeping with drunk girls rape unless she's actually blackout drunk?
based 777
lol wait till you do it with someone who actually cares about you and vice versa.
cause i'm still waiting
You're being paranoid. The only serious things you can contract from kissing are diseases that would put the person in hospital (cholera, typhoid fever etc...). If the person doesn't look diseased you have nothing to worry about.
it's their bullshit excuse when they A, want free money or B, realize that sleeping with you will ruining their social life that will mean nothing when they graduate but they need to save face so they can live with themselves instead of puking into the toilet tonight
you sir have clearly not read about hpv, hsv2, ghsv1, or chlamydia, etc
Haven't heard of the other two but HPV and chlamydia are transmitted by contact with genitalia
It sounds like you have a pattern of dating dysfunctional women. With your tendency to attract these kinds of girls its honestly that bizarre that you would be worried about it but I again encourage you to look at the reality of the situation vs. your personal perception. The reality is that the vast, overwhelming majority of people function every day in their sex and romantic lives without being falsely accused of anything. The vast majority of people, when using proper birth control and contraception, manage to remain clean. Focus your energy on how you can be more like those people. The steps are quite easy.
Don't kiss anybody with open sores. Easy.
Well that's just wrong. Sometimes there's not any outward symptoms, or they only show under ceartain conditions.
>So avoid clubs and music shows?
Don't play dumb. Nowhere in my words did I imply that you can't drink or have a social life and use common sense at the same time. Having sex in this context is no different than letting someone borrow your car. If you meet someone at a club who maybe seems cool and you've been talking for awhile do you hand them the keys? Of course not. You don't know this person. They seem alright but do you trust their emotional investment in you enough to make them responsible for your $15,000 vehicle? If the answer is no then why would you trust a stranger with your body and your health.
>How is sleeping with drunk girls rape unless she's actually blackout drunk?
Don't put words in my mouth. I never said that having sex with drunk girls is rape. What I said is that ambiguity breeds misunderstandings. What I said is that trusting an impaired stranger to be mature and consistent in their thoughts and actions is a gigantic risk. You could have sex with 100 drunk girls and probably be completely fine but you take the risk that one of those drunk girls maybe doesn't remember what happened the next morning and gets scared or maybe she was the victim of a sexual assault in the past and the experience brings up old feelings. Maybe she thought she took her birth control pill that day but actually didn't. Maybe it wasn't rape but the combination of her having no idea who you are and having a fuzzy memory leads to one or more parties feeling violated and a conflict arises out of that. These are all things that can happen that have nothing to do with purposefully assaulting someone and nothing to do with women just maliciously accusing men of rape out of some kind of psychopathic to ruin their lives for no reason. These are all things that happen when people are impaired. If you want to trust a drunken stranger with that kind of responsibility then go for it but understand that its a risk, that's why they call it "high risk behavior".
hpv can be transmitted through kissing
The chance of contracting a serious oral STD from an asymptomatic person whilst having no open cuts or sores in your mouth is incredibly low. We're not saying its impossible but what you're talking about a serious perfect storm of events and conditions. You're being solidly paranoid. I understand where you're coming from but you can get the flu from touching a door knob or get mono from sharing chap stick. Every activity in life is a risk, dude. You can't avoid them all. All you can do is calculate those risks and do the best you can to not take any unnecessary ones.
>Caring about your health over fun feelings in your genitals
You're making the right decision, the sexual revolution was a mistake and you would be a fool to partake in it. And condoms are definitely not close to 100% effective as some have claimed. The failure rate for condoms with perfect use is 2% per year and with realistic use it is 15% per year. That might not sound to bad but remember that is PER YEAR. Imagine you're rolling a hundred sided dice for a decade, even if you are using condoms perfectly 2 out of 100 aren't amazing odds, and realistically no one always uses condoms perfectly, 15% is just average use PER YEAR.
HPV is incredibly common and does virtually nothing to men. Most dudes don't ever know they have it. Its such a non-issue they don't even recommend that men get tested for it. There are over 100 different kinds of HPV and only a very small handful of them are in the high risk category and an even smaller handful of dudes with HPV in those categories ever develop any cancers or complications. Its incredibly, incredibly rare. Seriously, dude. Chill the fuck out.
Put your trip back on, faggot.
wrong. I had an LTR who wore lipstick everytime I saw her. she gave me hsv1 herpes and never told me she had herpes
there is hsv1, mono, menengitis and a few other stds you can get by making out alone
condoms break, and are not perfect. you can get hsv2 while wearing condoms
also false rape accusations will get you killed and raped in prison
>also false rape accusations will get you killed and raped in prison
You have no clue what you're talking about.
I personally know a guy who had a false rape accusinaton against him and another guy who got raped in prison. he had to go to isolation to make it out alive
there are terms such as KOS which is kill on sight. prisoners will find what you are in prison for and they will beat you to a pulp if your crime is rape against women. look up shaun attwood on youtube or get his book
what's a trip
Mono and meningitis aren't STDs. They're just regular diseases. And you can catch almost any disease by kissing someone, that's why you don't kiss people who are sick.
There's a serious lack of male data in that infographic.
mono is spread by saliva
I know a girl from university who died vis menegitis from making out with a chad. the next day all the sorority girls had masks over their faces at the university hospital
menegitis is a stealthy infection because it is inactive and doesnt affect some but they are transmitters and will kill people who are effected by it
making out isnt sex so maybe your right theyre not stds but you can get those from kissing and thats a fact
if someone with hiv has a cut in their mouth or if a chick recently swallowed a guy with hiv you can get hiv from making out with them
yep that does it. im offically a celibate. people in my generation are too sketchy and fake as fuck to be trusted.
javascript:quote('20260012'); yep im done fucking with thots or anyone in general. thank you for the insight. it's not worth it anymore. once i get my own place i'm buying a fleshlight and i'll be good til i die
Sara Stelzer, who was taken off life support over the weekend, contracted Type B meningococcal meningitis. While she had been vaccinated against meningitis, the vaccine did not cover the rare Type B bacteria.
Two other students nationwide died last year from the Type B bacteria. A student at Pennsylvania’s Drexel University died after coming into contact with Princeton students who had Type B meningococcal disease.
A student at University of California Santa Barbara also died from the B-strain of the disease during a campus outbreak
Meningitis is incredibly rare and mainly affects small children
None of what you're saying contradicts what I said. Most diseases can be transmitted by saliva, this is a known fact. That's why you don't kiss people who are sick.
You can also catch diseases in many other ways, but you can't be so afraid of catching something that you never go outside. If you look at how often people contract diseases, kissing and sex are not the most common causes overall (obviously for certain diseases they will be but for all diseases they're not).
youre right menegitis is rare. mono is not rare at all. further, over fifty percent of adults have herpes
hsv1 is easily hidden via lipstick on women
unlike women, when men get hsv1 they cant wear lipstick to hide it
we can agree to disagree. you can go get mouth herpes for all I care but you have been warned
>he doesn't want to be part of the majority
From my Doctor : "most couples get pregnant within a year when using only condoms"
My Advice? If it's not someone you would be ok with raising your kids for the next 20 years, don't put your dick in them . Never stick your dick in crazy. Find a girl you trust, make it official and stick with her. Good luck user, you're smarter than most out there
Like you said hsv1 is incredibly common and it's usually asymptomatic. Odds are you have it and caught it from your parents. Don't know why it's such a big deal
I never kissed my parents growing up. I did not kiss any adults growing up. I did not have hsv1 my entire life until I started dating at 21yrs old with an LTR who was promiscuous before we dated. She hid it with lipstick and never told me
Not OP but now you just added more confusion to me. I’m 25 and idk how to properly be an adult man. My relationship with my dad is really toxic. So I’m still shy, socially anxious, and I can’t maintain friendship. Therapies are expensive. Idk where to start. I’m too attractive to end up like this. If I was ugly maybe I would just shoot up a rave party and die.
You're allowed to abstain from sex for whatever reason you want.
I abstain partially because I'm paranoid about hurting a girl after my last relationship ended, but also because I'd have to learn from scratch how to approach women for casual sex and can't be bothered putting in the effort.
As long as you're honest with yourself about why you're doing it, don't convince yourself you're doing it for altruistic reasons if you're just afraid of the potential for conflict.