I actually just found this board and thought I’d start a thread I’ve been thinking about making somewhere else. Seems more appropriate for this board.
This thread is for people who have never had a relationship in their lives. Virginity is not a requirement. Post your thoughts on relationships.
>what you’ve observed about people who are in them
>if they are generally good or bad
>at least what you think it’s like to be in a relationship with somebody who you love
>or even someone you don’t love
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30 year old girl friendless user here.
>Observed from people in relationships
That relationships are incredibly overrated. It seems like many people force themselves to like the relationship because they're too insecure to handle not being in one.
>Good or bad
Neither. All relationships are unique and fulfill some need for both parties.
>What it's like to be in a relationship
Probably like having a best friend that's always there.. and likes to have sex with you.
>Someone you don't love
I imagine that it's alot of walking on eggshells and/or lying to yourself/partner about the relationship. Unless the sex is good it seems like it would be terrible.
>relationships are incredibly overrated
No, don’t tell me this. I’ve seen and heard this, too. Don’t fucking tell me this.
Relationships are fantastic when they are working. Perhaps the most fulfiling thing you could imagine. When they go wrong, they are awful and stifling, and you feel starved of air, just hoping it will all go away.
Don't rush into one anons. Find someone good, and take it nice and slow. Don't put it on a pedestal.
This is coming from someone who has dated, had LTRs, had FWBs, and has had one night stands. You are better being alone until you find someone who is worth not being alone for.
They're vaguely interesting. Early stages are kind of fucked up in a way. It's like 90% pure projection and fantasy. And people get SO invested in it. In people they "knew" for a month or less. It's fucking crazy to me. Emotionally stable people in relationships are pretty cool once the fantasy stage passes and they figure out if they can actually stand the person they thought they love or not. Having someone to share good moments with, who supports you during bad moments, but also lets you be your own person seems great. A lot of people aren't emotionally stable though. I think that most of them just can't let go of the initial fantasy stage of the relationship. They either stay with shit people because they used to be x, y, and z, or they get mad at the partner because they aren't x, y, and z anymore. When in reality they never were. They just didn't know them, and made up shit that they wanted them to be.
I've had a relationship, and a short thing that i like calling a relationship. Because the latter was better.
After the first month she never made time to see me, and the further it went on the more clingy and needy i got.
But seeing someone twice a month is not a fucking relationship, and i don't think it was overbearing of me to ask for more.
3 weeks before we broke up i asked "Ok, what the fuck is going on? Something is wrong"
She just said "Nothing's wrong, the honeymoon phase is just over."
I think she was deliberately torturing me. I used to be emotionally stable before that, but i swear she deliberately withheld spending time with me.
>what you’ve observed about people who are in them
There's good and bad sides to everything so complex as relationships. Friends of mine who are in relationships seem to really thrive. Of course things go wrong, but that's part of life, and it seems to be worth it in their lives.
>if they are generally good or bad
Same answer I guess
>at least what you think it’s like to be in a relationship with somebody who you love
I think it would be pretty awesome to be able to be really intimate with someone you're really attracted to both emotionally and physically, or just to get a hug from them.
>or even someone you don’t love
That's probably hell. I think the worst mistake one can make is to start a relationship with someone out of desperation or something like that; I wouldn't know what's appealing about that at all. I don't think you'd really appreciate the intimacy or be able to trust them fully. It takes the irrational element of love to get you over that.
>Perhaps the most fulfiling thing you could imagine.
I feel fulfillment maybe 3 times a year, and it's always when I break a cycling or running PR (zooming downhill at 38 mph, shaving seconds off your time, risking to die or at least seriously injure yourself -- it might sound scary but it's blissful; At least I'd die doing what I love).
Other people, except for the two oneitises I've had in my life (and even that was short-lived, as I soon learned my projections of perfection are impossible. Yes I am a khhv.), have not been able to provide fulfillment.
>You are better being alone
I've been emotionally completely isolated for almost a decade now. I don't have anyone to talk to, and this is influencing how I see other people; Not that I'm not worth their time, but there's no reason for them to listen to years worth of psychological trauma.
I fucked up when I was a kid, because I didn't know any better, and I didn't have anyone to tell me (I have three older sisters so my parents never needed to sit them down and teach them about society -- Kinda useless when you can just wear a low-cut top and a push-up bra and have people fall head over heels for you).
I guess a relationship would be a dream come true for me not because of the relationship itself, but because it signifies that I've (somehow) fixed my problems and am *capable* of getting into and maintaining a relationship.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, I'm just derailing the thread by letting my thoughts onto the screen James Joyce's Ulysses style. Sorry anons.
>what you’ve observed about people who are in them
They may not be happier, but they seem more fulfilled.
>if they are generally good or bad
I think they're good if you're cut out for them. Honestly gays probably have it better.
>at least what you think it’s like to be in a relationship with somebody who you love
I don't even know at this point. I used to think it was like being really good friends with someone, but now I'm not so sure.
>or even someone you don’t love
That's probably just hell on earth.
>or even someone you don’t love
This was all of my relationships. I've never had an actual, normal, fulfilling adult relationship.
My ex did something similar. Except she was always busy. She really was but made time for me. Even if it was a few minutes before bed time. Later on not anymore. I was not that important to her anymore. That hurt. A lot. Like, really bad.
She literally passes by my neighborhood when she catches the bus. The only time i saw her after the breakup was at that very bus stop, and that was a gut punch.
She just didn't want to make time for me, and i'd always keep my schedule flexible.
We broke up either today one year ago, or 3 days later (cuz i refused to end it via text and asked to talk in person).
>Honestly gays probably have it better.
I’m starting to think this, too.
I'm an 18 year old kissless virgin.
Relationships seem fulfilling, the times I thought I may have had a chance made me feel, amazing in a indescribable way.I'm super jealous of people who land a relationship yet I'm happy for them. Relationships are good if the people involved are good for each other and talk things out. If I was in a relationship I think my life would be as close to perfect as possible, it's something I cannot seem to forget about for longer than like 10 minutes. If I was in one I would be happy all the time nothing could keep me down. I'd start feeling ecstatic and fulfilled overall.
Yeah, there seems to be less expectations about power dynamics. It's not like a bunch of shit is just "the man's job". There's an actual negotiation about it.
Women just aren't capable of love.
26 year old and I’ve never been in a relationship. Sometimes I feel like I’m incapable of love.
I chuckled
19F here. I'm probably going to get shit and trolled for this but I've asked out 3 guys so far and none of them ever reciprocated. I was ghosted for all, but 2 are now my friends. Ironic.
I have a pretty masculine / tomboyish crude personality. On one hand guys like that as "friend" material, but reject it as GF material. Plus I feel really uncomfortable being super feminine, even though I see my ultra-feminine and pretty friends getting BFs easily and getting along life so much better.
I'm a little bitter inside since people say girls have it on easy mode, but I've never experienced the pretty girl female privileges everyone talk about. idk i'm just going to keep a positive outlook on life.
I'm 26 my fucking life is over. I have fucking nothing on this planet. I cant get interested in women; we never have similar personalities (I'm not really blaming them for this before you start reeing at me). I'm just going to fucking quit. I think I connected with one female in my entire life, and she doesn't give one single shit about me. I'm just tired, really really tired. I wish this were over, I can barely stand it anymore.
fpbp
Hey, 24F here. People who tell you women live life on easy mode are the people who have, until very recently, been living life on easy mode and are having temper tantrums because they're losing that. Don't take it to heart, your journey isn't easy.
I'm crude, masculine, don't wear make up, swear and enjoy make dominated activities. I've asked friends out, been rejected, but also had a couple say yes. Stay true to yourself and you'll definitely get someone interested in you for you eventually, it's just hard to see everyone else get sorted before you. It's not an easy path but if you're sticking you who you are then it's the only one.
>People who tell you women live life on easy mode are the people who have, until very recently, been living life on easy mode and are having temper tantrums because they're losing that. Don't take it to heart, your journey isn't easy.
They do generally, you can look at any dating site statistic. Its kind of just the nature of the game: women can be generally more passive, men do the asking out and approach women. Thats the problem with a lot of these men is they think they can just get a gf passively, when usually thats not the case. Not that anons life couldnt be hard or have unique circumstances. 19f single isnt such a big deal at all.
>People who tell you women live life on easy mode are the people who have, until very recently, been living life on easy mode and are having temper tantrums because they're losing that.
What a stupid post.
the deck is stacked against us
introverts will be weeded out by natural selection
>im ready to settle the post