I somehow ended up in the position of dating(?) one of my best friends who happens to be a female. I haven't put up a front around here at all during the time I've known her so I think she knows who I truly am. The problem is this: she lives a bit far away (~300 miles) so I have to plan stuff out in advance. I have about 3 weeks until I go to visit her for our first official date, and I need recommendations for what to do, as I have zero experience in this area. For reference she's a tomboy and likes the same stuff as me like hiking, anime, shooting, video games etc.
Pic somewhat related, she's a reverse trap most of the time and has a lot of females trying to date her
tl;dr first date with tomboy best friend wut do
I somehow ended up in a dating relationship with my best female friend of 4 years, help!
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hiking, anime, shooting, video games - is nothing in terms of how perfect you can be in real life: come to her each weekend, bring something small as excuse to be near... Because one day she will be pregnant, and you will still play video games, or hiking... or bring to her fresh croissant ...
I still don't fully understand this reply lol
You should ask her things she likes under the pretense of getting a good idea for a date instead of hoping we strike out with a good idea.
In general remember that you two are the centerpieces of the date. You're there to get to know one another.
Good words...
The problem is that we already know each other really well, and first dates are supposed to be the information gathering time (I think), so what I'm worried about is that I won't do much different from us usually hanging out and disappoint her. How do I make it seem less like hanging out with a good friend and be more date like? Or should I just stick with the same old same old?
I don't know about you but I can enjoy just talking with friends just fine. What do you actually like to do together? Dinner at a nice restaurant is something I always enjoy, and like I said just talking to interesting people can be fun. But hey, if you both prefer to watch anime then fucking do that. Seems a bit cringy to me but in the end you gotta do what works for you, right? Or maybe combine it: Go out for dinner, have some drinks, anime and chill?
>I somehow ended up in a dating relationship with my best female friend of 4 years, help!
Or you've both been dating for like 3 years and are too retarded to realize it.
Are you two sexual yet? If I had some cutsie romance like that, I'd want to just keep her to myself in her apartment for the day, or go camping, especially if I had to drive across state to see her.
Nothing sexual, but you should expect that by remembering where we are. And it's entirely possible that I'm just too retarded to notice things, she said she's been hitting on me for two years (allegedly)
You wanna hear cringy? I've ballroom danced with her at a con before. I've actually competed in waltz and Latin dance before, so maybe that makes it a bit less bring, but still, it feels turbo autismo to me.
>information gathering time
you know all or most of that already, so time to up the ante by going onto more sexual territory. getting to know her like that, and getting to know her body. throw in some touching and physical stuff and you're away.
OP here with more info
I'm a 23 y.o. virgin (apcel) and I have a generic and unspecified distrust of females. In essence, I just treat everyone as a male. I have certain issues with physical contact that I am working through that may be PTSD related from the military, and may have issues related to forming deep relationships with others due to a number of my friends from the service now no longer being with us, whether it happened stateside or downrange. She knows all of this, and still seems insistent on starting a closer relationship. If y'all want I can post the text messages between jobs at roughly 1:30-2:15 EST if you think it would help in giving me more accurate advice on the situation.
bowling is the classic
it doesn't really matter though
Dude, it's not cringy at all, it's actually quite adorable. She wants you to go for it. Do you wanna go for it? You've got a girl that likes the same shit as you, that likes you as well, and that wants to push it further, and she probably liked it when you ballroom danced with her. I don't wanna say it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, because there's a non-zero chance you may find someone like her. But you've got a great girl in your hands and you can go for it. Don't try and fake shit that neither of you will enjoy. Do something both of you enjoy. And, if anything, from what I've gathered, you might have better chances by going to her house and cooking her dinner.
sorry user but if you're sexually attracted to someone who presents themselves as male, then yes, that is incredibly gay. Traps at least present as feminine, which is straight.
OP again, here's the text message in question where I was asked out(ish), can any of you read into her intentions?
"So I've been wanting to talk to you about something, but I didn't want to be weird or pushy about it. Also idk you are so far away. Anyhow, I think you'd make a pretty good husband, so if you are still depressingly lonely please consider me as a possible alternative to dyeing alone. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or pressure you into anything tho so if you aren't interested just say so and I won't mention it again. Im not asking you to mary me or anything creepy its just a thought"
I think she's genuine about it, but I'm also a bit retarded, so I really can't tell too well. I'm hoping she is though.
>deflecting this hard
and they have a "feminine penis", right?
I am curious... What do people mean when they say hiking as a hobby?
How far do they go and how often?
>How far do they go
all the way, user
>and how often?
5 times a night
Night hikes are unironically great desu, I may have to go on one with her. Maybe not a whole 5 times though.
>if you are still depressingly lonely please consider me as a possible alternative to dyeing alone.
sounds like she is in the mariana trench of depression
>I think she's genuine about it, but I'm also a bit retarded, so I really can't tell too well. I'm hoping she is though.
yeah you're retarded alright
she LITERALLY wrote to you telling you to ASK HER OUT
Do you like her? Ask her out, she REALLY likes you.
I'm really hoping that she's genuine, but this isn't the first time she's asked me something on those lines. This January she asked me if I would "hypothetically" marry her, but then she said it was because of a conversation at her work, so I'm not sure where that really puts me. Anyways, I'm struggling to put together information to prepare for if this isn't all an elaborate ruse. How does one date a firearm appreciating weeb tomboy who was (is) one of your best friends? Pitfalls to avoid? Key goals? Good date plans? I need help fampai-tachis, because I don't know how this shit works. The only reason I'm not a kissless virgin is because a girl kissed me before, so just think about me as a guy ruined by army sexual harassment briefings and other trauma, unable to read advances or cues from others in any intimate way.
Pic somewhat related, probably what it's gonna take to get me to become intimate in any fashion
bump
absolutely based, wife material confirmed 10/10
you're a lucky man op
it ranges widly. for example my friends go backpacking for like 30 miles in the wilderness over the weekend. they go a few times each month. these same people walked the pacfic coast trail, about 3 months walking 10 miles per day.
that's the extreme side more often you'll find people who do day hikes and pack lunches. they'll swap stories about their favorite locations: "hey have you gone up Mt. Diablo?" "no, but I really want to whats the best time?" "its pretty easy only 3 miles, I'd recommend leaving early before the crowds in the spring before it gets too hot, there's a really nice lunch area near the top if you make it in time"
my favorite hike ever was to the top of half dome:
youtube.com
>firearm appreciating weeb tomboy
You absolute magnificient bastard. She likes you, you like her too, go for it. Don't put her on a pedestal, act just like you have so far. That's the guy she likes. Key goals? Marriage, motherfucker, this girl's one in a million. But don't rush it out of the gate. But she REALLY likes you.
>Anyhow, I think you'd make a pretty good husband, so if you are still depressingly lonely please consider me as a possible alternative to dyeing alone.
GOD DAMMIT OP YOU LUCKY MOTHERFUCKER
How long do I have to wait before I [spoiler]put a ring on it[/spoiler]? Also how long would be acceptable to have trauma over intimacy and therefore unable to make certain moves? Like, if I take over 5 months or so to become intimate after three start of dating, is that going to chase a girl off? I think I'll be able to fix myself in a month or two, but just in case, how long should I have until she gets upset about stagnation in that area?
imo both of your are going into this v fast so feel free to take your time and discuss your and her feelings openly and seriously.
>that picture
absolutely based
>This January she asked me if I would "hypothetically" marry her, but then she said it was because of a conversation at her work
>work conversation
no it wasn't you really are a daft cunt
I'm pretty good at being patient with things, but my only fear her is disappointing her. Thank you very much for the advice anonymous.
>no it wasn't
Is there any other thing it could be? I'm literally retarded when it comes to EQ in this area
New info!
Just got some messages from her, these are here date suggestions:
Range trip + skeet and archery
Science center visit
Escape the room game
Arcade bar
Christmas village
Laser tag + movie
hiking, but
"Idk what the weather will be like so hiking might be questionable"
So, what should I do for a first date? Is letting her suggest the first date a failure on my part, or is that ok too? I've been kind of wrecked by years of SHARP classes and Jow Forums taking turns at wearing down my ability to have a normal relationship.
bumping for interest
>Is letting her suggest the first date a failure on my part, or is that ok too? I
no. plus it's up at her place so she would know what there is to do. you have a long list of fun stuff to do, so quit overthinking it and just do it. and have fun!
yes, cute tiny penises are feminine. A cute trap with a little dick is great.
can you post her picture or something I'd like to vicariously live through you thanks
Thanks fampai
...no, just no, penii are inherently masculine
I would, but I don't want to dox her or myself. Have this instead, some of our kids (students) made a great cup tower during day camp
I'm thinking about Christmas village and then marathoning spice and wolf at her house, which is also where I'll be staying over for 2 nights, how do those plans sound?