Femanon here,
I get told that I’m a very straight-forward person and I know that I am. When I also get annoyed by someone I just straight up tell them and I couldn’t care less about their feelings at that moment. I also get told that I appear really angry and annoyed when I’m beig straight-forward and I am because I just get really fast annoyed. Apart from when people do things that annoy me, I really do care about their feelings and I’m always glad to help them out. If a friend does something stupid I tell them. My friends tell me I’m a very loyal caring friend but they never want to admit to me that I can be rude(?) at certain times even though I ask them if I am. It just bothers me that I have some ‘anger-isssues’ I guess and I don’t know how to deal with them and to get rid of it. How could I?
Femanon here
What sets you off, particular people or just a general short-temper for everyone?
>Femanon here
*CLICK* *CLICK* *BANG* *BANG*
I'm a straight forward person too. I rarely tell a direct lie and call it like I see it. But I'm not an angry person, anger is just about the last thing I reach for because I prefer to remain in control of my emotions. You can be that person who says it like it is without being a bitch about it.
People are being dumb? Why do you need to get angry about it again? What purpose does you being annoyed over it serve? They are the idiots in the situation, put it back on them and don't bother wasting the emotion on something that doesn't deserve it.
Nothing worse in the world than people who throw hissy fits over minor inconveniences. An adult should be able to control emotions, even negative ones, constructively. Almost as bad are people who hide behind "honesty and "straight-forwardness" to be absolute assholes. You can be polite, even kind, when giving criticism, but people like you, who say they're straightforward, usually just say whatever the fuck they want. You're a cunt, as simple as that. Learn to bite your tongue, take a breath and find better words. When a friend does something stupid they probably already know it was stupid, you don't have to spell it out. Just say shit like "that could has gone better" or whatever if you have to comment. It's super fucking easy not to be a cunt, if you give it a moment's thought.
Pretty sure the clicks go in between the bangs.
its not anger issues, its self importance over the bar
guess what who cares you are annoyed?
behave like a normal human being
Saying things like "I'm straightforward/honest/real" is just excuses for being rude.
Either you're autistic, a sociopath, or just a bad person.
Social etiquette and knowing when to shut up and/or lie is an important part of being in human society and disregarding that makes you a shitty person.
You need to reflect deeply on why minor everyday inconveniences are angering you so deeply you feel the need to lash out at others. There is no reason someone being slightly annoying should set you off. Annoyance temporary.
I used to be like you. It's possible to learn empathy, patience, and restraint. Meditation helped me and my own narcissistic tendencies helped me once I learned to manipulate them. I decided I wanted other people to feel like I was a better person than them, so I put a lot of effort into being as kind as possible and moving my own business and keeping my own mouth shut unless I had something substantial to actually contribute. Eventually those things become a habit and you actually become that kind if person.
People hated me. Absolutely hated me. Now others often say of me that I'm the kind of person they want to be. It's great to feel respected out of admiration rather than fear of what I'll say.
Good luck user.
Annoyance is a form of anger. Check out the chart to see which kinds of anger you struggle with.
The first bit of advice I want to give you is: Anger is not a bad thing. People who seek help for anger problems often make the mistake of trying to "cure" anger and never feel it again. That's a mistake because anger is a very healthy emotion, which produces good results, motivates you to fix problems, and defend yourself..... but only when it's controlled. So my first tip is to focus on controlling anger, rather than removing it.
To do this, you need to focus on the right "time, place, and intensity". This is the hardest to do, especially when you're angry. But when people do things that annoy you, it's perfectly valid to feel angry and express it... you just need to adjust the intensity in regards to the situation.
Generally, people feel anger because they experience a loss of control. They also anticipate other's thoughts, feelings, words too much (again a form of control). And angry people often lose sight of the big picture or fail to understand the feelings and experiences of other people.
So consider the time you got angry or annoyed. Did you feel like you needed to control something? Then learn to find security in how you respond to things. A good reaction might be better than good control.
Did you not consider the feelings of others as much as you could have? Then next time you're angry (and I know it's difficult) try to put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment, and understand they make mistakes.
Again, don't try to stop anger. That's an impossible mission anyway. Just manage it.
Lastly, to deal with the guilt you feel. Focus on honesty. Other people will often try to make you feel guilty for telling the truth. Took me years to learn this but NEVER FEEL GUILT FOR THE TRUTH. No matter how angry you were when you said it, no matter anything, if it is *true* then you owe no apology. Anger maybe helped you say it, but it's still true.
I JUST GET REALLY FAST ANNOYED
it's a dumb woman
pack up
Its goddamn annoying to read an OP about being annoyed by people saying they are annoyed by annoying behavior. Fuck, can there be something any more annoying!
People whom I have an emotional bond with, for example my friends and family.
Not for pistol dumbass
spbp
>fema-
stop
reddit is that way, foid
do you have a boyfriend OP?
asking for a friend/
Yes I am.
am what?
I have*
good for him!
nothing like a short-fused little minx!
this
would be fun
And what does that have to mean?
This isn't Jow Forums
Go back to your incel reddit board
You're justifying yourself. Being straightforward isa good quality, getting annoyed or angry over nothing is not s good quality. There are good ways to talk to your friends about something stupid they did rather than thinking less of them, reacting emotionally and letting they feel bad because of the way your say it.
More importantly, you put yourself above everybody else because this is the way you feel about yourself. If this doesn't change, people will keep abandoning you, because even if they like you, everything has a limit. Nobody likes to feel like shit, to be treated like shit.
It's very important to talk to the people you've wronged, to learn where you wronged and to show that you care enough to ask and to do something about it. Stop being entitled, you're not.
Another important point is that the good things you do don't make up for the bad ones. Stop screwing up.
You're spoiled because you get away with not being the best person at times. You're spoiled because you don't know how precious people in your life really are, so you feel entitled and superior.
Stop being selfish. When you’re about to blurt out something stupid, stop, think: what are the consequences of this action?
I know a straightforward girl and she's losing all her friends because she keeps being atrociously rude just to put people down, even though the things she's saying are totally unfounded.
The problem isn't "she is mean", the problem is "she is liable to ruin a good mood over literally nothing", and so being anywhere near her in any capacity becomes a chore.
You probably don't want that. Don't confuse straightforwardness for rudeness
This is exactly what is happening to me right now as well. My friends always had been really distant to me and now I get why, not only my friends but the relationships I have with other people as well. I never really looked into the perspective of the opposite person and I should. I just don’t wanna be rude anymore, I don’t wanna ruin anyone’s mood anymore. I just really need advice on how to get rid of this rudeness shown in steps, I want to improve.
Straightforward means you're honest about your feelings and you act accordingly. Which is commendable. No one likes fake people.
But you have got to learn why you have the worst thoughts and feelings about people that hold you dear, people whom you supposedly care about. Because actions comes from feelings.
When someone I care does something stupid, my reaction is not the same as when I see a stranger doing something stupid. Because I know this person and this affects my judgement and my feelings, and therefore my actions. I'm not faking for not getting angry as the first reaction ever. You should learn that something is up with you, not in others.
The first thing you have to do is think about what happened, why it happened, and talk to them right now.
and what do you want it to mean?
I didn’t get what you meant.
is English not your first language?
it means short-tempered girls are hott! :)
If you really can't stop saying rude things literally the only step is 1. Shut up
Ask yourself - am I answering a question that was directed at me? Will people smile or laugh genuinely at what I'm about to say? Is what I'm about to say not only extremely relevant to the conversation but is something necessary to continuing it? Is what I'm about to say going to help someone or improve their day?
If the answer to all of those is no, then shut up.
People who are well-spoken and poignant and thought to be so because they only say something when necessary. Be that.
Indeed English is not my first language. Get off my thread, sexualizing bad traits.
What have you done to make amends or to better yourself since you started the thread?
>sexualizing bad traits.
quel gachis!
Actually I really thought about all of this. I’ve accepted that I’m the one who needs to improve and not other people. I appreciate all of the Anons giving advice, first of all I want to talk to people I’ve wronged and want to know from them where I exactly went wrong to show that I care. After that I’ll see how it goes, I’m really going to try hard not to be rude, be straight-forward but in a respectful way and not in a rude way.
You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow. What are you waiting for? Life doesn't wait and it tends to be less forgiving than you are used to.
Where do you think your anger issues come from?
>*girl who isn't straight forward and honest about her feelings appears*
>Jow Forums: "Women are such children, they aren't capable of being mature or honest"
>*girl who is straight-forward about all of her emotions, even the negative one appears*
>Jow Forums: "Wow what a bitch, you're the worst kind of person"
Some bad events I went through as a child, before that I never had any anger issues.
This.
I wouldn't worry about it, lady.
You have a boyfriend, so at least one person finds your autistic ass sexually appealing.
In all seriousness, it's just cute, unless you're actually throwing childlike tantrums. Embrace the rage and then let your boyfriend be the one to fuck it out of you.
Surprisingly, I never act like this way towards him.
That's really fucking cute.
And really fucking gay.
He really does fuck the anger out of you.
The world expects too much politeness for how fucked everything is, and how fucked you'll be if you think courtesy is anything more than a facade.
Maybe your life wouldn't be shit if you talked like you did in that post anywhere other than Jow Forums faggot.
Let's be real here
OP is probs a guy and just knows that more orbiters will try to give him advice if he says he's a girl
>femanon
Totally unnecessary
You could put a cock in your mouth. That might help
Kawaii desu
Maybe you should give it a try first.
>Maybe you should give it a try first.
I have. Its really relaxing
What could putting a cock in my mouth help me with?
that way you wouldn't be talking shit, for starters.
Then it’s worth a try.
You dont fight frogposters by giving them (You)s. You fight frogposters by hiding their posts or even better reporting them.
Have a nice day and please next time remember: you starve them and silently hope they will finally hug train.