Just plz, some fucking help for once?

I don't know where else to turn I've never asked for advice, let alone help. I am a alcoholic. I am a drug addict. I am confused. I am lost. I am a sissy man. I am just feeling completely hopeless. Have you ever been in my shoes? How do I stop feeling this way? Plz help, I'm desperate and the last thing I want to do is disappoint anyone by ending up seeing my brains all over the wall. I've already felt the sweet embrace of a pistol to the skull and it feels welcoming. Plz! Advice! I don't want the easy way out!

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I've been on your shoes, OP. I don't have simple advices, but do you wanna talk?

You are strong my man, I know so because you reached out for help. I did so too once, and it has changed my life forever. You are not a sissy man, in any way, I truly don’t think so.

You need to try to grasp the realization that you’re sick. Alcoholism is a disease my friend, in every respect. Decide for yourself two things: (a) you are going to come to terms with the fact that your relationship with alcohol/drugs is beyond your control (i.e a psychologal disease) and (b) that you will actually, for real, seek help in some anonymous narcotics group. Do these and you’ll be set for self improvement

Don’t skimp out in these user. Road to perfect recovery is hard and may feel impossibly far away, but usually it’s a matter of actual month or even weeks til radical improvement. Trust me

You are not going to haveyour brain across a wall user, don’t you worry about that. We’ll make sure of it. I’ll be staying in this thread if you just wanna talk

>ask for help
>doesn’t explain problem
If your problem is just drug and alcohol, then that’s a good 40% of people on this earth deal with.

Sounds like this life you are living used to be fun and then the party stop and you want off.

Shut your mouth, you can obviously tell he’s legitimately asking for help

>How do I stop feeling this way?
know what triggers you, know how your mind works, change your habits, avoid some people and some places, also, a N.A. group might help you.

Okay, let me get a little bit more into my life. I have been diagnosed with more problems than anyone should deal with or a t.f least that's how I feel
Ever since I was a young I have always felt different. Not due to the lack of social or parental experience. But genuinely I have felt like I have never fit in, even though I seemed to be well liked. It's hard to explain really, but it's like I'm sitting in a glass room and every one is just examining me for what I am but not who I am. Then came the family problems. Dad started drinking super heavy and who did he blame for everything? ME! Why? Somebody would piss him off and I would get the lesson for it. I never understood still don't to this day. He is sober now and he acts like I should completely forgive him like what he did to me never happened. Obviously I have turned to drugs/alcohol to ponder on this more, or that how I feel at least. I've lost all my friends due to it and I've laid off for the most part but I cant completely give it up. I know it's a problem but why cant I give it up?

>But genuinely I have felt like I have never fit in, even though I seemed to be well liked.

This is an extremely normal feeling user, there's nothing wrong with what you've experienced. I'm so sorry for the things you've had to go through, I truly am. Having complex relations with your family members like that sucks, I have had similar issues. Good news is they are solveable, no matter how impossible that may seem

Also,
>why cant I give it up?
Because you are unable to, you are in all practical terms legitimately unable to do so on your own for the time being. And thats normal user, that isn't even strange. You're dealing with some really really difficult shit and also you have to stop using the one type of product that creates dependence by design.

It's beyond your control, and that's OK. It really is. You wouldnt judge someone in your situation, and neither will anyone else. Find an anonymous group or phone line and call them user.

All you have to do is follow the damn train CJ

call the suicide hotline and then go to rehab fool

^this, though worded more nicely

would you describe an avarage day you go through, from wake to sleep?

When I wake up I just feel so disconnected from everything. This feeling last until I go to work. Where I guess you could say I feel more "lively" for a bit but then it fades. Then the day begins to melt and feel exactly like the last. Then it ends and all I can think about is getting just a little faded. Then its 4am and I am fucked up and I have work in just 4 hours but I just cant go to sleep. That is my average day I guess you could say.

How long have you been feeling like this?

Now that I really think about it, I would say the last time I haven't felt this way has almost been 5 years.

you are depressed user, clear as day. Would you agree?

I would agree completely but the thing that I guess I am really asking is what do I do next? What wont make me feel like a coward? What wont make me feel even less about myself then what I already do? How do I not concern anyone about this but still get the help I so desperately need, now that I see that maybe that is what I really need?

What advice would you give me if I told you the things you've told me? The answer is for you to seek assistance.

The feeling of cowardice, being a burden and all other things wont go away until youve fixed this. The unfortunate truth is that itll be something you'll wade through, not something you'll get rid if before starting. What do you think would be a wise next step for you?

That's the thing every fiber of my being says hide it away, I can figure it out myself. That's why I am asking how do I get help cuz i can't figure it out and I don't want to raise alert to the few people I still have left in my life. I've always maintained a calm and collective persona and honestly don't want to ruin it now, even if I do need help. That really is my main hold up, my ego!

Go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. They are free and will help you.

I wake up, hit that fridge grab that fo oh. Lay back cool like, listen to mah radio.
Roll up a fat green bud blunt.
Tell my mom to shut her flappy cunt hole and pass out.

Well then here is the answer you're looking for: seek help

It may not be what you want to do, and it may be what your entire body is telling you not to do, but it's what must be done. There isn't anything other than that to do. There is no way of beating this on your own my friend. And you dont have to tell or involve your friends & family, I didn't right away either. You tell them when you feel like, but for now it's all about you. Get help, you know need it, you even told me so yourself

Your right, I never even thought that maybe I could just keep it hush hush till I was ready. I always felt like it's something that I would have to involve my family/friends in. Like how could I go this alone but hey I've done so this far except for now. I've got to say thanks, I've really thought about a lot. I've realized a little help can make you look on things in a new perspective. Maybe I can be better, it just requires an outside look. Idk but I already feel a little better and honestly I think I will seek out help but is AA or NA really the best option I have?

Do you have anyone you trust to help? When you need a kick in the ass you cant do it yourself. I am a proud dude and that was hard for me but I eventually caved and turned to people. Even in simple ways. People itt will undoubtedly tell you what a huge difference exercise and diet make. But that wont stop you ignoring that. Get a buddy who goes to the gym to basically force you into going with him. Eat all your meals with someone you know who eats healthy and make them force you to do it. Then of course on a more macro scale, seek proffesional help, it makes it 100x easier

I'm proud of you user, I really am. You're smart no doubt and I'm sure you'll beat this. Talking about things with someone helps a lot, feeling alone is usually what's difficult. As for your question, there are no best options. Thing about getting help in these situations is that you try and try again until you succeed. Go to an AA meeting, if you feel they didn't understand or aren't listening to you, go someplace else. If you feel the depression is the biggest problem, call a depression hotline. It's really important that you read these next words carefully:

There are no wrong answers when choosing where to get help. Don't give up, i repeat do not give up. Keep at it user, and it'll go away faster than you right now think is reasonable. I promise.

If you want I can give you my email to keep tabs, your choice entirely.

Underrated post.

My dad drank and did drugs his whole life and he's been clean for almost a decade thanks in part to AA. I'm sure it depends very much on the individuals you work with, and certainly you're not going to get more out of it than you put in, but it's worth a try.

At the other end of the spectrum, do you have a bar that you go to, or are you just drinking alone? It sounds like you don't have any company or anybody to talk to except for a few people so precious you're thinking about them in terms of suicide. I'd rather send you to a cafe or a malt shop if they existed anymore, but the fact of the matter is your neighborhood bar is sometimes the only place there is to go where people like to talk and want company but won't usually judge you. This is dangerous territory for a legitimate alcoholic, but I'm not sure you are one. I'll drink too much if I'm alone and miserable, but if I have someplace nice to drink in public I'll sip at a couple of beers, talk to some people, leave feeling a little less lonely, and walk it off. Easier for me to say as I can come home to a home life that isn't unbearable and toxic, but it's worth a try.

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