30+ Thread

>You shouldn't care about "your league". I'm pretty sure women in their 30's care less about looks and more about personality.

I don't disagree but like I turned wizard this year and never had a gf. i don't who or where I would find a person with that kind of patience for someone first attempt at a relationship.

>You're 30 year old man with no self esteem.
>You have no social skills but are lonely and long for company.
>You've never been with a woman.
>You work a dead end job that you hate.

Your life sounds terrible OP but it's totally fixable. It will take a bit of work but you can get out of this rut. Possibly an unimaginable amount of work you're so used to this lifestyle at this point. You definitely don't want to keep living this way.

I'm sure I or someone else could help you better if you answered these questions:

What's your living situation? Are you still with your parents, renting or have a house?

How overweight are you? What do you do for exercise?

You seem to be after any hobby that attracts other people who also suck in social situations. Are you actually into the idea of figurine painting? What are your real hobbies?

What's your job?

What are you good at or interested in?

Who did you hang out with in high school? Do you still talk to any of them?

>you must venture into the wastes now user, alone.
oh god its fallout 76 all over again

not OP, but i appreciate what you are trying to tell him. its very good advice.

except the last part about laying down the toys and man-ing up, maybe OP jist enjoys the way he lives his life, and having couple more friends to share that would be nice.

>Your life sounds terrible OP but it's totally fixable. It will take a bit of work but you can get out of this rut. Possibly an unimaginable amount of work you're so used to this lifestyle at this point. You definitely don't want to keep living this way.

>I'm sure I or someone else could help you better if you answered these questions:
>What's your living situation? Are you still with your parents, renting or have a house?
Still live with disappointed parents.

>How overweight are you? What do you do for exercise?
Overweight, not obese. Nothing except my lifting heavy boxes at a warehouse job.

>You seem to be after any hobby that attracts other people who also suck in social situations. Are you actually into the idea of figurine painting?
Not really to be honest. Just the idea of finding people in a somewhat related hobby on my social level.

>What are your real hobbies?
I've kinda lost interest for everything.

>What's your job?
Lifting heavy boxes in a warehouse at night.

>What are you good at or interested in?
I don't know. I used to be part of the gifted and talented in school but everything fell by the wayside towards the end of uni and I ended up with a 2.2 in a STEM degree.

>Who did you hang out with in high school? Do you still talk to any of them?
That's like college in the UK? Just a small handful of people, kind of never saw them again cos of secondary where I was really wary of people. Funnily enough, I'm still in contact with people from secondary cos bad friends are better than no friends right?

Shit, replied an hour late.

Here's what I would do in your situation OP.

Move out of your parent's place ASAP. You're 30, this is a must. You probably have a bit of money saved up, use that to rent an apartment. If you can, look for a place to yourself. But if you can't, find a roommate.

Find a better job then quit your current one. Find something that isn't moving heavy boxes at night. Or, ask for a promotion at your current place.

You have to develop interests. Things like watching TV or playing video games don't count. Check out events that are going on in your city and join them.

You keep in touch with a few people, so you're not a total outcast. Once you're settled into your new place, organize little poker or board game events. Let your friends know that they're not serious games, just for fun and to have a few drinks. Get them to invite other friends and grow your social circle.

Ask your friends to help you move. If they don't want to help, that's okay. It's worth asking. It's also a billion times easier to get laid with your own place. No girl wants to go to a dude's parent's place to fuck. That's an instant turn off.

A lot of this is easier said than done. Money is a big issue and I only have a few grand saved up. And a promotions out of the question with the people I work with and it would only be quid more.

The "friends" I'm still in contact with are basically who's lives haven't quite worked out the way they'd hoped and have me as the bottom rung of their friends just so they'd have someone to look down at.

>Check out events that are going on in your city and join them.
What would you suggest?

>A lot of this is easier said than done. Money is a big issue and I only have a few grand saved up.

That's why I said you would have to put in a possibly an unimaginable amount of work. It's still this guy btw :)

A few grand is more than enough. Plus, nothing gives you a better kick in the ass than struggling and getting out of your comfort zone. You're too comfortable living with your parents at the moment. And I'm sure they're wonderful people and care deeply about you, but they are failing as parents by enabling you to live this way.

>And a promotions out of the question with the people I work with and it would only be quid more.

You don't know, you haven't asked. if it's only a little more, that's better than nothing. If you don't think you're worth a promotion, make yourself worth it. Put in the extra work, they'll notice I promise. And if they don't, find somewhere else to work where your effort will be appreciated. Just don't quit before you find another job, it's always easier to find work when you're already employed. And also don't quit on a bad note, you may need your boss or coworkers as a reference. And now that I think about it, why aren't you hanging out with your coworkers? You should be inviting them out for a drink after work or coffee during your break etc. Get a lot of social practice in at work.

>The "friends" I'm still in contact with are basically who's lives haven't quite worked out the way they'd hoped and have me as the bottom rung of their friends just so they'd have someone to look down at.

That's a horrible way to look at it. But I think it comes down to your low self esteem. You need to work on that. You have a negative view on too many things in life.

>What [events] would you suggest?
Hit up a local climbing gym. It's not necessarily an event, although the gyms usually host some fun events. Since you're alone, look for a gym with mostly or only bouldering routes. It's probably the best place for you for a bunch of reasons.

It's fun as fuck. This could easily be your new hobby.

You get a crazy workout. But it's not only about strength or height. Tall people have an advantage on a lot of routes, but a lot of them are actually meant for shorter people. Technique is involved in a lot of them too.

It solves your social problem. It's so easy to chat people up while climbing. You won't believe me until you actually start doing it. I've been climbing for a little while now and I know basically all of the other locals.

It literally goes like this:
>You try a route that you can't quite get, or you try one that other people are trying.
>Ask someone else who's trying the route for advice. Or offer them tips on what you have been trying.
>Try that advice, give him props when one of you gets it.
>See that person the next time, chat them up. "Hey how's it going, have any projects you're working on? Cool let me try it too"

It sounds like a painful social situation but it's honestly not. Plus, you don't have to keep eye contact, it's normal to look up at a route or other people climbing while talking to someone. And if you're too shy or whatever, just try shit on your own and someone else is bound to come over and chat you up. Because it's the thing to do at a climbing gym. It's not like a regular gym, trust me.

It's also cheap to start up. For bouldering, you really just need to buy the shoes which run around $150 CAD. And some chalk and a chalk bag but a lot of gyms provide the chalk for you. Then the gym membership depends on where you go, but is usually about the same price as a normal gym.

>but they are failing as parents by enabling you to live this way.
Probably.

>You don't know, you haven't asked.
It's not a small company, it's part of something bigger and moving up depends on kissing the right ass and doing unpaid labour and the supervisor position is literally a quid extra on top per hour. It's not really a place for moving up. But yeah, looking for another job, I'll do that.

>And now that I think about it, why aren't you hanging out with your coworkers?
Literally all old tired immigrants and couple of students who disappeared after the work got too much for them.

>That's a horrible way to look at it.
They're not great people, no really other way of looking at it.

Maybe.

It does get harder with age OP. Try to join groups, use meet up, or create your own group as others said. Having things in common with others opens the door to friendships.

>that autistic poster telling everyone to have children in every thread
Having children is an easy hack if you are sufficiently mindless to have no other aspirations or goals in life OP.

Alright man I hope you fix your life. Your general outlook is too negative and you have too many excuses for why things aren't working out. If there's any takeaway from what I told you, it should be that it will take more work than you can imagine because of how comfortable you are with your current living situation. You can't imagine yourself being more than you are. I truly hope that changes. I don't think a random asshole on the Internet will change that but it's worth a shot.

>it should be that it will take more work than you can imagine because of how comfortable you are with your current living situation
It would help if I could meet people in the same situation as me IRL but I guess meeting other 30-something social outcasts would they're just as broken as me.

>use meet up
Has anyone here actually tried that?

I'll paint warhammer figures with you, user. Afterwards we can wank each other off, crying silently about our lack of human contact while we orgasm

I'll pass.

You guys can't create dependencies at your age
It's one thing when you're a child, a teen, or even 21
But at 30, dependency is no longer sustainable. You aren't dealing with "romance is unfair" or "I wish I could buy all the candy"-- you deal with advanced philosophical quandary which takes more than one night of listening to resolve
All this while your output is at an all-time low, considering 30 years old is about the time to become sort of a lynchpin in your own life, with at least the potential to do it for another. At your rate you'll be in bins at 35, making those good boy REEE posts a reality.

I hate to shit all over the parade here but the behavior is no longer healthy or conducive. The sooner you admit to yourself, "The steps to change can be taken anytime; the journey to improve will take all my life no matter it's length," the sooner you can hold your own life in your hands again.

It's what humans want, what they strive for. Don't stop yourself up like this. Jow Forums, Discord, hugboxes and echo chambers in general-- these only slow you down and hurt you by reinforcing negative attributes and behaviors.
Get out there. Get your life back. It'll be long and hard to accomplish, but it'll be worth it.

>Get out there. Get your life back. It'll be long and hard to accomplish, but it'll be worth it.
I'd thought meeting IRL sad sacks in a hobby group would help. So you advise against it?

I don't know that you need to hang around people who encourage the behaviors
You are a product of never leaving your comfort zone for consistent and enduring periods of time

30yo boomer who still x memes cut deep

I feel like it would be helpful meeting real people, my age, even if they are sadsacks.

>You are a product of never leaving your comfort zone for consistent and enduring periods of time
I know, I know. What would you say is a concrete path?

I mean, like it has to be better than talking to sadsacks behind a screen right?

>Shit like yugioh, mtg, lan events are all full of normies

Dude if you approach that with that attitude then you're also going to walk into a Warhammer shop or a model-train store or a tai chi class or a bird-watching group or furry convention or ICP concert and still go "WOW Look at all the NORMIES!"

I hate using the word, but that is a toxic attitude. People who play card games are not normies, nor a single one of them. Also that whole "I can't talk to anyone because they already have a social circle" thing is some shit that you should have gotten over when you were in first grade or kindergarten.

Also, there's always martial arts. If you're still hanging onto that fear that you'll walk in and no one will want to train and spar with you because everyone there is a UFC Chad and normies reeee, then join a Chinese martial arts class. Anyone who takes Kung Fu or something is so far down the autism hole they can't even see the light anymore.

I know because I did all those things and still do.

Oh and yes obviously Jow Forums is shit and has been for years now. You share the website with literal kids, like 16 year olds if not younger that are old enough to be your own kids. They get upset at dumb things that were made up a couple of years ago like "reddit spacing" and they're the ones who brought in all this SJW vs Alt Right shit.

This is a 30+ thread, why is it full of manchildren?

>People who play card games are not normies, nor a single one of them.
I'm gonna have to attempt to go to some kind of event to meet people eventually but you can't tell me that most things like MtG, yugioh, LAN parties and the people who go to those things aren't normies. I'm not reee'ing, I'm just saying geek has become mainstream enough for them to be not outcast like before.

How is that a bad thing, you no longer feel like you have your own special sikrit club?

>but you can't tell me that most things like MtG, yugioh, LAN parties and the people who go to those things aren't normies.

They're not. I don't know what "normie" means in your book and how much time you spent taking r9k memes to heart, but people who are into things like TCG and LARP and tabletop games are not normies. If YuGiOh was for normies then they would have that shit in night clubs and music festivals. Most people, normal people, the norm, aka normies, don't play collectible card games. They might play some video games like Fifa on the XBox or fornite, and they might play card games like poker or blackjack if they really have nothing better to do, but they certainly don't play TCGs.

>I'm just saying geek has become mainstream enough for them to be not outcast like before.

It was the exact same thing 20 years ago when we were kids. Just because they're outcast from pop culture and the cool kids lunch table that doesn't mean that they can't bond over a common interests or hobby or start their own group.

The only difference is that it's more obvious now with things like youtube

>They're not. I don't know what "normie" means in your book and how much time you spent taking r9k memes to heart, but people who are into things like TCG and LARP and tabletop games are not normies.
I'm not reading from the r9k handbook, they're normie in the sense that they have enough social skills to fit in elsewhere. I'm not saying they're fake geeks.

>It was the exact same thing 20 years ago when we were kids.
No it isn't, maybe for you where you always had a group of nerds, when I was at school it was literally just me interested in this shit and you can't do much by yourself.

>you no longer feel like you have your own special sikrit club?
In a sense, yes. I mean it's cool for the younger nerds to be part of the mainstream but now I have to climb up to the level of mainstream.

You're a 35 year old's wet dream

>they're normie in the sense that they have enough social skills to fit in elsewhere

It's not even about having a social skill, 99% of the people there aren't even there to even try and make friends, they just want to play the game. The only thing that keeps them together is the game, or activity. I have so little in common with so many of the people that I spend a few hours a week with on the clubs and groups I'm a part of, I wouldn't want to hang out with them casually outside of those settings either. It has nothing to do with social skills. They don't fit in, they just hang out with each other by default.

>No it isn't, maybe for you where you always had a group of nerds, when I was at school it was literally just me interested in this shit and you can't do much by yourself.

Well now you get to do it now, but instead you're sitting here complaining about "normies".

>99% of the people there aren't even there to even try and make friends, they just want to play the game. The only thing that keeps them together is the game, or activity. I have so little in common with so many of the people
So now you're telling me even these things are pointless in making friends. Which is it?

No, I'm not planning anything like that. Just the first thing that came to my head when I read your post.

Go out, dummy. Go to a bar, go to a cafe if you can't stand bars or are too much of a teetotaler pussy to sit at a bar and drink seltzer. Become a regular at places so people recognize you and say hi and talk to you when you go there.

I'm in my 40s and I have to remind myself to do this from time to time. I have a family so I don't really need to, but over time I start to lose the feeling that you have friends and acquaintances and a neighborhood. I go to all the cafes around here and bring my kid with me so that he learns the value of being a part of a neighborhood and not some random GTA bystander. I've been going to this one place for a year, and I know everybody there now. None of the other clientele are like this so I wind up just talking to the employees, but at least I have someplace to go where I feel welcome and can talk to someone other than my family.

As for Jow Forums, I've never been called out for my age here, or maybe I did and haven't noticed, because the average age here is higher than you think, and once you're an adult you don't mind being chided for it by younger people. I'm not saying that to shame you, I'm saying stick with it and don't let the age difference get to you. This is all that's left of the old good Internet and we need to hold on to it and defend it.

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Get into modding cars and going to trackdays. Full of 30+ socially retarded people

I'm saying that if you go out to an activity full of socially stunted or literally autistic people, then odds are you won't find that many that are charismatic social butterflies with loads of friends.

At the very least it gets you out of the house on weekends and you have something to do.

If you want to make loads of friends, then don't go to the places that are full of "socially retarded old nerds", in your own words. Go somewhere where you'll find actual normies.

Fuck she's cute

Know who she is?

I feel guilty for even wanting 'a partner' as I know that people are not things to be owned. I deserve only to work until I am no longer able to contribute to society, and then to die alone. I should be grateful that I am even allowed that.

Wat

deep down I want there to be someone I can make happy. The idea itself is flawed. I cannot "make" someone experience happiness, and the idea of attempting to force such "happiness" on someone in order to achieve some perverse desire is a clear indicator of how sick I am. A healthy person would find fulfillment from within, and meaningful relationships between healthy well-adjusted individually would come naturally.

>be 30
>for whatever reason cannot tell peoples age
>like at all
>flirting with someone who I thought was in their early 30s
>they say I am a little to young for them
>ask how old they are
>52
>well fuck
>talking to another person
>assume late 20s
>find out they are 17
>nope the fuck out of there
>afraid to approach any more woman now

How do I fix this shit before it gets me in trouble? Do women actually hate people asking their age? The fuck is wrong with me?

>50
>17

How are you making these fails?

That girl looks 15 though

Asians probably. I once dated a 30 year old asian woman when I was 19, thinking she was the same age as me

I'll bite at this as well.

I rent. I live alone on a two bedroom. It's mostly two bedrooms here.
Slightly overweight. I run in the summer, but still eat like shit.
I'd like to try DnD. It sounds fun and is sort of mainstream now. There are people at work who play that, or there were.
Retail. I mostly drive a forklift and sell things.
I like making things, driving, reading, vista, and some cooking.
I know no one from high school. Hung out with the outcasts, though the school lacked the cliquiness most of you describe in high school. Grammar school moreso.
I have strong hermetic tendencies, probably resulting from avoidant personality or some fucky social anxiety thing.

Shit, and guns. I like guns but am not a gun nut.

>Shit like yugioh, mtg, lan events are all full of normies
Why can't you make friends with normies?

Also board game groups are popping up everywhere. Try that.

>though the school lacked the cliquiness most of you describe in high school.
Me too, there may have been a group of castoffs but there were no cliques. Maybe it's an american thing, though I find out WAY after the fact that the other schools just outside the area had special interest groups and clubs. I think the most we had was a chess club that shutdown cos nobody came to it.

instagram.com/nicoleeeveedavis/

I think

I'm slowly but surely losing my ability to tell people's faces apart
Plus these girls all photoshop themselves alike

bump

>I heard warhammer figurine painting is the last holdout of the socially retarded old nerds
Jesus that sounds more depressing than anything else I've heard.
And why on Earth would you want to talk people your age?
>t40

>Warhammer

yeah I did that for a bit, still enjoy it, still paint but holy fuck the people are insufferable desu. only really go in to talk to the manager since he is a really nice guy.

If you asked this question maybe 8 or so years ago, you'd get a better response. Frankly, this internet communication stuff has really gone to shit.

Can you faggots not use SN or something
Jesus fucking christ the source is literally one click away

I guess to have more common ground. I mean, with things as they are now, I have exactly the same social standing inside one of these things as outside in the wider world.

Bump

If you are still painting figurines you are borderline mentally retarded. The fuck are you talking about dude , like hey where can grown ass adults go to play TAG? There is no imagination left in this world , in case you haven't noticed everything is already explored and established. If you arent already in the upper class you are just left with a basically socialist system where its so rigged you can go to a bank for almost any low class job and they will break down exactly how long it will take you to retire. Your recreation has nothing at all to do with the current situation. This is a fucking plantation. There is a constant theme among all these people who are LOST in this gay world, they want to do all this stuff but there's nowhere to go. I love how you think these people will bypass all laws with mafias paying off congressmen lawyers judges police and invade any country that tries to slightly deviate from the norm but they are going to let Joe the Figurine Painter start his own world. No, everything is rigged and GASP the people who have been playing human centipede and eating shit out of every ass they see to the top are the ones who are content. I'm sick of seeing the same fucking posts every day , yeah no shit shit is fucked it's called social engineering. You can't even just open a lemonade stand without a trillion vampires throwing all these hurdles in your way.

Take your fucking antipsychotic you goddamn pseud.

Contemplate the possibility that speaking exclusively with people who struggle with the same things you do is the antithesis to progress. I mean, for example, if I wanted to learn how to fix motorcycles what benefit would there be for me to exclusively spend my time with people who are at the same level of motorcycle knowledge as I am? Your comfort zone is not doing you any favors.

You're such an epic #woke dude, how constructive and helpful of you to point out what is common sense to 98% of the world

Everything hurts so much. I feel so alone.

>Your comfort zone is not doing you any favors.
Why is everything such a fucking steep incline at this point?

Like I have this image in my head of when these places were small things and it was just small groups of socially awkward nerds bonding and building their social skills. But I guess you're right, a group of socially retarded late 20/30-somethings in what is an orphaned (for now, it'll probably also get sucked up into the mainstream) hobby has little social mobility.

Been a fuck up for many years now. Both of my parents failed me over the years and I tried to become self made to break away from their legacy. Worked in marketing as a copywriter but lost my job because my boss was a crook and embezzled money. Was down for a long time but now I'm picking myself up.

I'm focusing on happiness and getting into IT. Got a full time job at Staples and although it's degrading, it's something. My worst feeling is that I don't feel like I can connect to people. I am sociable but I find most of the people I meet are awkward or stilted in conversation. How do I connect with the right people and focus on my goals? Hope to do my A+ cert soon and thinking about moving cities for Help Desk support. Doubt I'm gonna find a career and happiness at Staples. Any advice?

.

Most people your age are married with families. They have careers that suck up time too. It's too late to do things like party or hang out. Leisure time is over after 30 and it's time to be serious. You shouldn't be socially retarded either by your age but sophisticated instead. Are your parents overbearing/controlling or are you just lazy?

>Leisure time is over after 30
Bull. Fucking. Shit. What gave you that idea? How old are you?

25 and it's just a fact that adulthood is about the gradual loss of fun and time. If you don't have a career and wife by 30, you're alone. You won't have anymore friends, anymore free time, your health drops, etc.

No one asked for advice from a 25 year old. You still don't know shit at that age, don't even think you do.

Gyms are for fags.

lol what... you can do whatever you like at whatever age you like

31 here. Just entering a CS bachelor's after dropping out of college 10 years ago because of poor mental health. Wish me luck and hope I don't fail and end up cold and on the streets!

>31
>NEET of 10 years
>Still live with mother
>No money
>Severe mental illness
>Taking mountains of antidepressants and still suicidal
>Spend most of the day sleeping
>Every waking moment is pain
>Haven't left home except to go to the supermarket in years
>Not a single friend
>Didn't finish university due to depression, so no qualifications
>Tried a dozen different therapies and the situation only gets worse
I'm so scared, I feel like I'm really close to the moment where it's too unbearable and I will kms
I don't have the strength to fix things on my own, I need someone to help me

Man you need to change. Start small. Why dont you do some pushups today? What about some exercies? A walk in the street? How about talking to strangers? A shower seems fine too. I tell you, start small and do small thing each day and one day in the future you will be laughing at this.

.

Good luck user! You'll make it.

What did you study user?
What do you think people should do in order to help you?

I used to study Japanese language and literature. I was doing great until depression hit. I had the idea of going back to university but after all these years I'd have to pay 6500€ in taxes which I don't have.
I just need a therapy that works. I can't function like this. If therapy helps even just a little bit then I can do things like leave the house.

.

Okay kid. You know better about life in your 30s than those of us actually in our 30s.

This thread just reminded me of my own coming of age into my 30s this month, along with the realization that people don't have to treat you well just because you treat them well. Can't believe it took me three decades to realize this lol

>along with the realization that people don't have to treat you well just because you treat them well. Can't believe it took me three decades to realize this lol
How did that change your behaviour? I'm not quite sure I get you.

>I mean it's cool for the younger nerds to be part of the mainstream but now I have to climb up to the level of mainstream.
Jigga you crazy. It's almost 2019.
We live in a very socially diverse world. If you groom yourself decently, don't wear edgy shirts, and approach people with the intention of finding something in common (but with no ill will if they aren't equally interested), you can socialize with whoever you want.

If you don't have a career or a wife (and therefore no kids), what exactly is going to eat up your free time then?

>I am sociable but I find most of the people I meet are awkward or stilted in conversation.
The people or you?

I'm 46 and he's right. I spent my early 30s partying and meeting new people, and I was able to do this only because I was newly divorced from a long, bad, codependent relationship and I fucking had to - and thank fuck I had a lot of money saved, plus help from a very understanding family. Even then I lucked out finding a young girl who would have me, and we only managed to make one kid and our financial situation sucks.

And sure enough, all my young friends started families and/or moved away. Today every single one of my real-life friends is either a parent I met at school or someone from the neighborhood. Every single one of my old friends is just ectoplasm on Facebook.

Do not waste your young life drinking and sleeping around. Find a great woman, start a family, and put all your shit in order - then you can spend the rest of your damned life drinking and sleeping around and not wake up one morning alone with a shitty job and with no grandkids.

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I might be too eager to talk and connect, I think that might be off putting. I'm not sure.

single guys over 30 with non-mainstream hobbies aren't just everywhere to be found.

I'd suggest you find a sport that you can enjoy watching, basketball is pure athleticism, but hockey and football involve tactics and plays

Id recommend hitting up some sports bars and finding a few chess partners to meet up with.

If you're trying to play MTG with the kids as an old fuck, its just going to be weird.

Poker, Chess, Sports are the mainstream, I'd suggest meeting people through those and as you get to know people you'll find out what other hobbies they have, a few of them might have similar interests.

Try forming a group thats into strategy games in general, not your niche interests, and as that group grows you could have a D+D night one night, MTG another night, warhammer, poker night, etc.

34 female never had any form of relationship. Should I just do a hookup and not tell the guy or go to a matchmaker? Wanted kids but there's no white males only pajeets and negros. Help adv

You know it doesn't have one extreme or the other there's plenty of people, most people actually, who able to balance leisure and responsibilities. They're able to party when they're young while also focusing on studies and long-term relationships, and when they're older adults they're still able to balance that.

He's also a 25 year old zoomer who's pretending to know what life is like as a 30 year old.

>>talking to another person
>>assume late 20s
>>find out they are 17
>>nope the fuck out of there

who cares as long as it's legal and the two of you get along

>single guys over 30 with non-mainstream hobbies aren't just everywhere to be found.

Someone please answer me this honestly; if this was the 90s or even early 00s would the strategy of finding other people through geek hobbies as a 30-something be viable?