Half Japanese samurai bro here?

well I'm Jow Forums, tall and I look like keanu reeves

If he actually looks like a Jap and isn't a lard-ass they would definitely shiver in fear, otherwise yeah....

Make up stories about previous friends and acquaintances who tried to convert to Judaism. Say they went through all the steps, did the whole song and dance, and were "converted", but they and their children were never accepted by the Jewish community. Say their children were bullied by their Jewish peers. Say the woman was bullied and ignored by the Jewish women. The story ends with them drifting away from Judaism and returning to their original faith. They found a church which was welcoming and discovered that it was that longing for a sense of community that drove them to do the Jew thing. In the end, they found it among their own people.

They'll tokenize you if you go in TradJap garb. They'll fawn over you and pose for pictures to show how tolerant and welcoming they are of other cultures. They won't fear you.

Her best friend is converting to buddhism We asked her to join us but she was too busy sucking literal jewish dick

Not even if I have a hella deep voice and say "Jews, Your time has come. I am your reckoning, I am ronin"

Seriously brah I need advice on how to do this I got 20 days

I mean, yeah, if you go full SevenLivesForMyCountry!-mode, they might spook, but I kind of doubt that's going to happen. Best case scenario, you show up and MOG a bunch of squirmy Jews and visually illustrate what your gf's friend is abandoning.

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Is she converting for a husband/fiance?

No shes converting because she found "hashem"

shes an 18 year old autistic blonde girl

She looks like a poster child for the hitler youth, doesnt help that shes actually from europe too

Simple, really. Tell the people she is concerting for that down the line, she had family members that were part of the Nazi Party, and involved in the eradication of Jews.

Even if it doesn’t stop her, it will throw a spanner in the works, and will make the other kikes be wary of her, and talk about her behind her back, since the Jews are massive gossip mongers.

Wtf is a Hashim?

Also, don't Jews make you apply three times? I still think you should tell tall tales about other converts regretting it.

Hashem is apparently god

If she's not ethnically Jewish it doesn't really matter. It's not the religion that's the problem, it's the people.

She wants kike babies and kike dicks

The religion is part of the problem though if we are being honest. Eliminate the disease instead of fighting the symptoms

She's probably doing this because she wants a sense of belonging and direction. For all their faults, Jews are good at this. They have their myths and narratives about being a (persecuted) community and they have this sense of destiny. The have just enough exclusivity to make it feel like you're joining something special, and they temper it with self depreciation to dodge accusations of arrogance.

Your friend can get a lot, but not all, of this from a church.

I will suggest introducing her to martial arts (I assume you do karate or judo or kendo or something, because you're half Japanese).

A bit of martial arts will hopefully give her some self confidence and a sense of belonging to an exclusive community. If she mentions krav maga, mock it.

Yeah Kendo is great, Krav Maga is a bunch of bullshit and isnt practical despite how much people say it is.

Street fights are rarely ever that long and that controlled. Usually no one that holds you at gunpoint wants to shoot you in my experience

Invite her to your next kendo class.
Tell her she's a natural.
Go out with your gf and other kendo pals after the class and socialize with her.

Have a bump for posting a pic from the greatest samurai movie ever made.

Odd situation

cook at 400 degrees for 5 hours

That math doesn't seem quite right...