Relationship help

I have had a amazing time with my girlfriend of 4 years, but after the weekend my entire family confronted me and told me that I have completely changed for the worst. They told me that she is manipulative, and after a comment my dad made that hurt her feelings, she as well made me feel frustrated with my father who I have the most respect for.... I am slowly realizing what is going on..... I need help has anyone ever been stuck in a similar situation where they feel trapped in a relationship?

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More details user?

Your family sucks ass, user. Blood family doesn't want what's best for you. They don't want your penis to be happy, or for you to leave the "tribe" and be a "real man in the world" because they have abandonment issues and want you to get with some ditzy idiot who behaves like they do and is easily controlled, like you've been.
This is very common and you'll be happiest when you grow the fuck up and stop trying to please your family, and start pleasing a strong woman who will raise your children better than some dingus your family approves of.
Real men don't need their blood families' approval for a mate.

Also when men are frustrated, it's typical for the first person they point to blame is their partner, not themselves or their blood family, especially sisters and mothers who in fact enjoy having their brothers and sons as emotional tampons, forever giving them the attention they crave and never able to cross the line sexually. Don't be a statistic and break some fine woman's heart because you can't deal with your mummy or sisters being upset. They don't give a fuck about you.

I have a very strong bond with my family. Shit has slowly been going down hill for awhile. I should have seen the first sign when she told me that I couldn't go visit my family or she kill herself. She has lots of issues with her mother...because she is an alcoholic

Everyone in my family, including my brother in laws said she is toxic

First I do agree with other anons, you need to not let what your parents say always affect your image of yourself, otherwise you will never be an adult


Normally I would agree with the other user's about your family not caring, but a threat that big is major. I still think I need more details because she might protecting you from them if you're comfortable with giving us a full picture and not tldr.

I'll keep it short and simple. I have been in this relationship strongly for two years, and the last two have been long distance. With school being our primary goal, we dont always have enough time for each other. It seems the last two years that I have not always has the strongest feelings for her, but I do love her and couldn't imagine being without her. Whenever I have a family event, it seems as if she is never comfortable being around them. But she is completely fine with me. I feel like I am stuck balancing between her feeling and my families.

I'm not gonna lie user you sound like you're going through exactly what I went through a year ago.

>GF and I were together for 2 years, saw each other every day and never hated one another, so much in common
>Only close with her dad out of the whole family, mom and everyone else were alcoholics
>My family is large and always does stuff together, was pretty close to all of them
>She never really got along with my family because they were "full of drama" and to many of them (had some cousins and uncles she liked)
>Family never liked her, eventually told me I was changing for the worst, she manipulated me, have no friends (friends part were a lie)
>GF and I never fought about anything but we always had disagreements before going to visit my family because I couldn't stick up for myself

We ended up breaking up after 6 years over something stupid that we fixed but she refused to change. To be honest, I think it was the driving force of what drove her away from me was our disagreements on the family issue, it was what started other problems.

What I wish I could of known back then is the fact their family can hinder your judgement towards them ALOT. It wasnt until to late into our relationship that I realized alot of what she would say about my family was true. They were full of drama and actually very manipulative towards me, more than she was (she wasnt the best in other ways but that's another story).

Only other thing I will say is tell her to cut that "I'll kill myself" shit off, my gf had depression and minor bipolar disorder and not gonna lie it would fuck up my judgement too because I would worry she actually would do it at times.

This is exactly why me and my husband are getting a divorce after ten years. His sisters and mother are extremely manipulative, not to mention alcoholics and his sisters are bartenders on top of that. BUT they're "hot" in everyone else's eyes, giant tits and bubbly and act stupid on purpose for male attention. Women are friends with them because they literally cannot compete socially. I'm attractive myself, tits not as big but bitch attitude and "hotter" than most so I've gotten to deal with these women up close and it's kinda like the Kardashian family of my city's social scene. Everyone knows them. Everyone love/hates them. Every problem in our marriage has stemmed back to his undying loyalty to his mother and sisters, who use him as an emotional tampon and for publicity points because he's cute. He was a mess before I met him and shaped him up a bit. But he can't get away from them. At first it was his mom, then his older sis but she got married, now his little sister is pulling him around while hopping from dick to dick. I was never his first priority and it sounds like she never felt like she was yours either. Just let her go while acknowledging you can't give her what she wants because you're giving it to your blood family. That's your decision. It has nothing to do with her or her personality.

>can't see family or she kill herself
How is everyone ignoring this. She clearly is crazy. Anyone making that threat is a lost cause. Next it's gonna be your friends.

>Saying “I’ll kill myself” over a disagreement
That’s not depression or bi-polar, that’s just selfishly exploiting something that works to get their own way.

Definitely listen to your family, this bitch sounds crazy

Agreed, if that's not a fucking gigantic red flag then there must be worse shit going on in this relationship than he's neglected mentioning.

Yeah, well, as someone who used to be equally crazy she's just using you for histrionic purposes. She's not suicidal from anything else besides she has severe control issues.

That's the shittiest piece of advice I've read on this site.
If your family doesn't want what's the best for you, then who does?
There's also no proof that they are acting this way to screw user over. It's just unrealistic and filled with ideological garbage about "stronk womyn".
Unironically kys.

Now the point here is that your family probably doesn't think she's the best for you, and don't want to deal with her the rest of their lives, since those bonds form.
You've given tips that she's broken to some degree (alcoholic mom), but I also think that's not a reason you shouldn't stick to her.
I have stuck to my GF that has virtually NO FAMILY and is messed up personally because I love her, I love our son and I want to make our relationship work, even thought it grows worse by the day.
It's really up to you to decide if you want to stick to this chick. Maybe the good she does for you overcomes the fact that she has problems (as everyone does). Maybe your family has it right, but all they can do, as we can, is give you advice.

As for me, I've chosen something that I don't even know if it will go on. She doesn't seem like she wants to stay with me anymore. She's a broken person and has created some sort of enmity with my mother and grandma. I should stick to my family, but I'm also trying to create a new one with her and our son. I think I can help her overcome her hardships.
It's really up to you if you think that's better for you. The fact she's got problems doesn't mean you both cannot overcome them. It's up to you if you want to build something with that person, that's what relationships are all about.
That doesn't mean your family is full of shit. It just means picking what's best for you.

Is she actually manipulative though

Retarded retard never post again

My mom was like that when I first introduced her to my girlfriend. More or less told her to fuck off, and that she had no right to insult her like that without giving her a fair chance and getting to know her.

Your family can have your best interest in mind, but it's important to realize that they're only human, and that what they believe to be the best is skewed by their own beliefs and perception.

Probably be less of an asshole than I was about it, but do stand up for yourself. As per your girlfriend's, "manipulation" I think that's a personal problem. You can't take things at face value, and you can't put people up on pedestals such as your father. People can misrepresent facts, and derive unintended meaning from things that otherwise would've been benign.

You're just as in the wrong for being roped into all that as she is for getting emotional and presenting things in a way that inspires empathy, even if it it's inaccurate.

Most people I've met tend to skew facts like that, now that I think about it.

You should try and get your head out of your ass, if your family thinks you've changed in a bad way, then that's a red flag that she's not right

L

What was the comment? It sounds like someone (your dad?) had a disagreement with her, and the rest of the family sides with each other instead of with your girlfriend who is practically a stranger to them. Any girl would feel uncomfortable around a family that made an offensive comment against her.

This reminds me of when my entire family collectively decided they didn't like my uncle's girlfriend. Nobody said it out loud, but they all treated her coldly and sometimes made passive-agrassive comments. Can your family give you concrete examples of something manipulative she did to you? Or is your family actually manipulating you into thinking she's not good for you?

You are not traped in your relationship, but rather in your stste of mind. You have to change it. Two options, manup and put her in her place. Or leave her. Third option is stay with her and do nothing, but that will ruin you and your family.