I cried outside my ex’s apt and she called the cops on me. Why?

It was the first serious relationship for both of us, and we’re actually talking again. But I don’t understand why she called cops back then. She wants me to apologize for crying outside her apartment. What did I do wrong?

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An emotional man is prone to cry but also beat up some peps user. You done goofed.

Dont stay in contact with your ex's, frogposter.

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This, but more importantly don’t talk to anyone that would call the cops for anything other than an immediately and obviously life threatening situation, period. Things WILL go sour and she WILL try to fuck your life up.

If she told you to leave and you didn't leave, whether you were crying or not, she had grounds to have you removed. Not your apartment, therefore you can be trespassed.

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Again, I’m looking for answers to my question. I’m not looking for suggestions on what to do.

Please help me understand her perspective. I don’t need action items.
She didn’t tell me anything

She’s shy and introverted, if that helps. Hopefully someone here can shed light on her perspective.

She is mentally ill. Crying is not a crime, or a threat. Her calling the cops on you for it, and then emotionally manipulating you to think that YOU were in the wrong, is gaslighting. Do what you want but don’t say we didn’t warn you if you ignore these red flags.

She saw an opportunity to get rid of you since you've broken up and she doesn't want you around her place?

Why would you do that in the first place.

This isn’t what I’m looking for man. I’m trying to understand her perspective. I’m not looking for judgments on who she is.

Why would you do that in the first place

It’s because I was emotionally distraught. She blindsided me and I wanted to understand why. Yes I guess she wanted me gone at that time, but why is she now forcing me to apologize for it? I know what I did isn’t normal but why doesn’t she understand that I was just too overwhelmed. It’s not like I was robbbing her apartment

Is it not socially acceptable to behave in emotional extremes when you’re under such emotional stress? Isn’t calling the cops uncalled for? Help me understand

I already answered your question but I guess you don’t know what “gaslighting” means. Simply put, it’s when someone acts crazy and then tries to make you feel like the crazy one for having a problem with it. It is a form of emotional manipulation used to avoid actual confrontation and divert blame, as well as control someone. THAT is her perspective.

I see what you’re saying, but again I’m trying to understand the situation from her perspective. She isn’t thinking “oh, I should gaslight to avoid responsibility.” No, and my best guess is she thought the emotional stress of me crying is too much to bear? I don’t know. Again though, why can’t she just let me slide on this one, instead she’s adamant about me apologizing for behaving emotionally?

Bump sigh

Why were you crying outside her apartment OP? Over the phone or was she on the balcony and you were on the ground?

I think it would be hard to get in her head without more details, but you have one solid fact here...

If she calls the cops on you for a non-lifethreatening circumstance, then it shows she has utter no respect for you in her heart, only contempt. Even if she loved you a little bit, she'd never do that.

That’s the obvious conclusion but it’s not it. It has to do with her personality I’m telling you, which is why I’m asking here hoping someone can instantly relate to her perspective

And keep in mind, she’s forcing me to apologize for having the cops called on. She says I was stalking her and her friends, which is a completely overblown claim. We had to eat at the same cafeteria on campus. Am I supposed to not eat there? Wtf?

No we understand WHY you would be crying like that but it can be embarrassing for the homeowner when their neighbors see some guy crying outside their house, and the common courtesy is to control yourself until you at least get in your car, at home, or somewhere private.

She's being a bitch asking you to apologize for it though. Fuck her for that.

>It has to do with her personality I’m telling you
You... might.... actually be a stalker. The level of denial here is uncanny.

>can instantly relate to her perspective
Can instantly relate to calling the cops on a guy you don't like crying outside your home...

>she’s forcing me to apologize for having the cops called on.
Maybe she's forcing you to apologize here for... doing something wrong...?
I think this is quite a stretch for you, to imagine that perhaps you were wrong. But that's the attitude that makes stalkers keep stalking.

>We had to eat at the same cafeteria on campus. Am I supposed to not eat there?
I have a feeling like she's not criticizing you for eating. She's criticizing you for stalking.

>I wanted to understand why
Yeah you seem to not understand a lot of things...

>I know what I did isn’t normal but why doesn’t she understand that I was just too overwhelmed.
I know [negative thing is true] but [I deny it using this loose excuse].

>She didn’t tell me anything
Maybe she was scared. It's super easy to tell people things when they listen to you, are honest, and good-natured people. You might lack these qualities and cause her to call the cops ON SIGHT of you, instead of yeah, talking to you.

I hope I cleared a few things up for you OP. Somehow I doubt all these obvious clues will register in your stalker head. But if you need one more clue, I'll give it to you. And it's the biggest clue of them all... If you want to know where the problem is... If you want to find the source of all your troubles... you can: just look in a mirror. It should be in there.

K thanks

Here's what you did wrong: You went to your ex's apartment, probably without an invitation, and cried outside. You are making her feel like she's in danger because you're being clingy. Move on with your life and stop talking to her.

Why are you even still talking to her

>Decide to break up with boyfriend
>Tell him we are breaking up
>He knows we are no longer a couple
>Go to bed later that night
>3am
>Screeching and wailing outside my home
>oshitwtf.jpg
>"PLEASE STA-" sniff "TAKE ME BACK STACY"
>Autistc screeching
>Ex starts to shit into his hands and rub it into his chest
>reeeeeeee.mp3
>Wakes up old lady neighbour
>Ex flings his shit at neighbour
>Falls down into a puddle of tears, wailing at the top of his lungs
>911

Explain why she wants to get back together if I’m so dangerous
Drama

Lmfao OP, nice story to tell your buddies in a few years.

She treated you like shit but you shouldn't have gone there anyway. That was crossing a line. She could have ignored you though but maybe she did that cause hearing you cry made her angry.

Stay away from her, if she wants you back she will come back but you have to show her you're not dangerous. Start smiling again and minding your own business, she will notice it.

being dangerous is pretty normal for a human to be, so she’s chancing it

Samefagging. I'd add you should show some strength by not giving a fuck you were humiliated, laugh it off, you'll appear as confident.

Has she explicitly stated she wants to get back together?

If she wants to get back, she called the cops to hurt you. That's that kind of fucked up love where you want to hurt the one you love. It's sadistic but that's how messed up humans are. Don't show you're hurt, she'll be mad.

>Ex flings his shit at neighbour
Why boner?

I said it earlier, yeah

Anyway sage. Didn’t get much perspective here

I did the EXACT same thing, except my ex bf didn't call the cops. He should've but he didn't. I stayed in the parking lot at his apartments, crying, for 4 hours straight. I sat there contemplating suicide and just couldn't accept that we were DONE.

Now if the situation was flipped and he was in my place, I was in his...the night would've probably ended differently. As a woman, I would totally be afraid. An unstable emotional man wanting to save the relationship would be a little frightening. Idk the details of your relationship or why you guys broke up but, it pretty much all boils down to that.

First, you effed up by showing up to her apt uninvited. There's mistake number 1
Then proceeded to try and fix something that she didn't care to fix. Mistake number 2
She wants you to apologize because if you would've contained your emotions and not ignorantly invited yourself to pour tour emotions to her, then NONE of that wouldve happened.
As for the cops being called the ONLY justification would be she feared her life. She's a bitch for that one....and she probably did it to show you that she has the upper hand and controls things. If Im not mistaken its says you two are still talking.She played victim and munipilated you. And by talking to her again, you validated that it's okay for her to be irrational. Calling the cops is the ultimate low. Especially if that person is you SO

that's fucking hilarious. why are you back together with her, she called the cops becuase she doesn't really care about you.

our women dont like us being miserable even if they cause this misery
you are supposed to be tough and a man
so when she saw you outside she saw a desperate man she didnt like and thats why you need to apologize and make her believe you are made of rock, then fuck her harder then ever before

then leave her, she has no soul

This if a girl uses the cops on you for NO REASON,dip. You deserve better.

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This guy is right, she's clearly mentally and emotionally unstable and will try to do anything to justify the shitty things she does which will often be shifting blame to others because she can't accept being in the wrong or vulnerable
I know you're upset and rightfully so but you're asking people questions about her perspective for which they've answered to the best of their ability, they aren't her, only she can tell you exactly why she did it but I expect it's for the reasons mentioned above and no she doesn't consciously realize she's gaslighting you, she has gotten into a habit of doing that because people have let her get away with that so now it's second nature to her, she doesn't respect anyone but herself and I guarantee you if the situation were reversed she would still make herself the victim.

I also had an ex scream and cry outside my apartment. I didn't do or say anything and it never happened again. But that is ny personal private living space where I want to feel aafe so you should respect that. Just apologize and move on. Cry online like everyone else.

Cuz it's creepy and desperate as fuck
I would too

no fuck off, a man can cry anywhere the fuck they want aslong as its legal
YOU respect the human being you shat on you piece of shit prostitute
fucking hell the face of these whores, do they have rhino skin on it? so fucking THICK they will stab you with a knife and you will have to apologize for bleeding on their carpet

>no fuck off, a man can cry anywhere

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You went to the apartment of someone who no longer welcomes you there, dingus.

what are you on your period?

She called them because she felt threatened.