Did I rape my girlfriend? What do I do?

So my birthday came up and I entered the bedroom and found that she had handcuffed herself to the bed and said that I could do whatever I wanted. We established a safeword started. I went a bit crazy with it and she seemed fine, she never used the safeword. About 30 minutes afterwards though, she started crying and wouldn't talk to me. I'm really concerned what should I do?

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Talk to her about it. Make sure she's alright. From how you've described it, you were in the clear so don't blame yourself.

Lol... wow.
So time to get a new gf, ypu failed that shit test like no bodies business.

Some want what they don't want...

You should make her some tea and ask if you need to talk about what happened. "Do you want to talk about my birthday" if she says no the just say sorry but don't try push harder.

fuckin hell op what did you do

She sounds like a stupid bitch if she didn't use the safeword. Talk to her about it.

You probably didn't do aftercare

>Did I rape my girlfriend?
Who knows... You didn't give us dirty details.

>What do I do?
Try to find way to make up for what you did.

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What did you do?

Who cares what he did? They had a safeword. She sounds super fucking dumb.

It doesn't sound like rape, but comfort her. Ask her what you did wrong. Tell her it's okay to feel this way and do some after care. Seriously. This is what you do when you do rough power play stuff. The dom needs to comfort the sub. Tell her she doesn't need to talk until she's ready, and that she can shower if it'll make her feel better. Offer to order in food, and that you two can watch a Disney movie or studio ghibli together quietly. Ask her want she needs from you, now and in the future. Be compassionate.

I stuck as many things in my possession into as many orifices as I could, excluding the mouth for this exact reason. There was slapping and hair pulling, I put some force behind it, her ass is bright red right now and I have a really conflicted boner about it and I don't feel like I can comfort her while still having it. She's staring at some scratch marks I made on her thighs for a bit. I bit her clitoris really hard I put pins through her nipples and pulled a for a few seconds before I stopped.
But I think the main thing were the insults, she's kind of sensitive but I assumed it would be fine. I said the word "slut" and "whore" a lot, she's always hated the Stacy party girl thing and I think implying that she is one made her upset. I also kept using the word "big" and "huge" and I think she may have been concerned that I was implying she was fat.

Fuck man this is just where dom play gets overrated. Just fuck your girlfriend, if she wants to get rough smack her ass, pin her wrists, and maybe a bit of deep throat, if you want to use dirty talk I always like to lean in and say to her "tell me what you are", that way she gets to decide what direction and how far she wants the dirty talk, plus I find it sexier when she degrades herself.

You've just described an excessive scene - why shove things up her ass? It's just frankly not erotic. I'm not trying to diss your fetish out but I feel like people get carried away with the hardcore play because they forget it's supposed to be erotic, aggressive sure, but sensual, it's still your girlfriend, you're supposed to insert yourself as the sexy freudian father figure who's in charge, not the next door neighbour who kidnaps her and locks her in the basement.

No wonder she cried after all that. You humiliated the poor lady. I'm sure when she said "do whatever you want to me" she didn't mean it in the most literal of sense. She probably thought you would do some basic S&M not enact your favorite degenerate hentai scene(s) Shit like that you're suppose to ease a person into, not full steam ahead.

She doesn't mean LITERALLY you shit lord
She means be as rough as you want but treat her human

She was probably too overwhelmed and shocked to say the safe word

I would have broken up with you, you sound like a retarded man child.

I asked about it and she said "I told you to do anything you wanted and you seemed like you really wanted to hurt me"
It's over, not officially yet but I don't assume this is going to last long now, I feel so shitty

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Well, you dun goofed up OP.

Care for her number? I will comfort her for you

You are a sadistic individual. I hope she runs.

pictured: how Jow Forums would have sex with a girl

Yeah bro, that relationship is toast. What’s your next move?

Just comfort her, I guess. I'm not sure what else to do, I'm not sure I can come up with a rebuttal because that's literally what I did.

This is the product of modern porn consumption

No, what’s your next move in life? Be single for a while? Tinder?
Your relationship is completely fucked up beyond all recognition.

>get bf
>he's shy but sweet
>decide to help him get out of his shell
>handcuff myself to the bed and tell him to have his way with me
>he starts shoving objects in me and calling me a whore
>scratches and slaps me and continues insults
>think the worst of it is over
>he surprises me with pins in my nipples
>in utter shock
>after a couple hours of pain and insults, it's over
>eventually break up
>will never feel safe being completely vulnerable with a man ever again

*slow clap*

Fuck man, I can't do this I really like her still, is there really nothing?

OP is a fucked up person. I did this for my boyfriend, including telling him he could do whatever he wanted. He kissed me all over and made love to me bc that’s what he wanted. Never crossed his mind to hurt or humiliate me.

Oh man did I really ruin her? Reading it over makes me feel so shitty what do I do? There has to be something

You really shouldn't say that shit and then get mad if it escalates. Have a safe word and act like adults. Props to OP for actually trusting his gf enough to try out his fantasies. How many people are never honest with what they want in the bedroom?

>I entered the bedroom and found that she had handcuffed herself to the bed and said that I could do whatever I wanted
>We established a safeword
>I went a bit crazy with it and she seemed fine
>I stuck as many things in my possession into as many orifices as I could
>There was slapping and hair pulling, I put some force behind it
>scratch marks I made on her thighs
>I bit her clitoris really hard I put pins through her nipples and pulled a for a few seconds
>I said the word "slut" and "whore" a lot
>I also kept using the word "big" and "huge" and I think she may have been concerned that I was implying she was fat.
>she never used the safeword.
But I'll bet that you didn't ask before doing whatever you wanted too.
Also what the fuck is your normal sex life like? have you ever done any of the above with her?
Even if a woman lets you have free reign, she expects you to do what you have previously done. You have to remember that women are the fairer sex not the more intelligent sex so she won't say anything at the time because she doesn't want to go back on "do whatever you want".

In that case she has no one to blame but herself. Safe words exist for a reason.

>n that case she has no one to blame but herself
see>You have to remember that women are the fairer sex not the more intelligent sex so she won't say anything at the time because she doesn't want to go back on "do whatever you want".

We got into scratching and she's slapped me before. I've talked about a lot of it with her but I never did it.

I read that. Again that's not OPs fault. She had a way to stop and didn't use it. Dont do these kind of scenarios if you cant pull through. He didn't rape her.

Wow you guys acting like OP is some kind of monster.
Should OP have gauged her reaction better? Probably. But in this situation I feel like it's 100% on the gf to ask him to stop/use the safeword. How else is he to know he's crossing boundaries?

I've legally raped my gf twice and she was okay with it because she had fun and knew I'd stop when she made it clear.
OP really just sit her down, talk to and comfort her and most of all make sure she understands what happens in the bedroom is not a reflection of the rest of the relationship, that even though you insulted and humiliated her during sex you value and respect her as a person.

You treated her like a piece of shit... which sucks, but then you literally stabbed her with needles
I would have gone into a panicked frenzy and definitely would have forgotten the safe word at that point
I'm sure she was crying and saying stop

Yes, you ruined her
Recommend therapy, tell her you're a monster and that not all men are like you, and then leave her

Why didn't she use the fucking safeword then? Is your gf retarded? This is all on her.

Now this is autism.

Fuck that. It's not OP's fault his girlfriend has the emotional and mental intelligence of a child. She's 100% to blame for this regardless of whether OP has fucked up sexual fetishes or not.

>Never crossed his mind to hurt or humiliate me.
How do you know ? He probably saw through your lie and understood that you were only testing him.

My boyfriend and i had a similar thing happen, but i was the one too kinky for him

He forgot the safe word while he was panicking, but i picked up on his reactions before anything happened
I stopped and asked him how he felt and if it was ok to go forward
My boyfriend wasn't stupid for forgetting the safe word, but the human brain is prone to forgetting things like that in fight or flight mode.

If you have hardcore kinks that inflict pain like stabbing, burning, and heavy humiliation, talk to them first about those specific kinks. Someone who isn't as deep into kinks might have not even considered that being something you'd try in bed.

People aren't perfect, but as the dom it's your job to be the eyes and guidance for the newbie

You blew it

Dumb girlfriend and autistic degenerate boyfriend aside, how do we combat the jewish porn industry having such a hold on young men nowadays? It's concerning that you faggots can't enjoy normal sex anymore, it's all anal fistings, cuck shit and other degeneracy. No wonder so many young people are depressed, cynical and can't enjoy the simple things in life anymore.

She didn't say anything she was giving the same kind of looks she gives after we have sex after we haven't been near each other for a while.

What did you do afterwards?
I feel like I betrayed her so badly

I kissed him, cuddled him, and made him dinner

I explained that i never want him to feel unsafe and that next time, we'll find a middle ground that he can feel safer in and i'll be able to explore my kink with him

You make your partner feel like the most loved and appreciate person on the planet and don't stop till they're melting in your arms, saying how happy they are to be yours.

We finished that night watching movies and falling asleep with him being big spoon. A couple weeks later, we tried again based on the compromise and enjoyed ourselves!

i mean hey she said "do whatever you want" and didnt make it clear so....

It wasn’t a lie, I would’ve let him do anything.

Don't respond to incels


Maybe you would have at the time, but you were not indifferent. You still hoped that he would do things you enjoyed and cared for you all the time. And had he gone too far you would have resented him after, like OPs girlfriend, as you proved by estimating she is justified to do so.

"You can do anything" means not only that you will be be resisted, but that you will not be judged and punished for what you've done. It's an outlandish lie, everyone should be able to understand that it is not to be taken at face value. Which is why safewords exist too. But it is still a lie.

I agree with you. OP you were just doing this nasty shit because you "think" it's hot.. Everyone wants to be a freak nowadays lmao. Think with your own brain next time.

Fucking lol. Your soon to be former gf is dumb as fuck. Don't feel bad as she can't be much of a catch.

What the fuck? Did she proposed this only so that she would have something to be mad about afterwards? What a dumb fucking cunt, jesus.

>tfw not having a slightly abusive GF that comforts you after rough sex

General question: how do you talk with your partner about kinks and stuff?
I'm kinda scared to talk about those things...

Wtf, that's sick dude. Who even does things like that to their significant others? That shit ain't healthy, thats not how sex should look like. I think you should seek some therapy because you have some disturbing issues if you get off from sadistically hurting women and think its okay to do shit like that without discussing it at length
Not even a white knight but she should report you

Are you some authority on how sex is supposed to look like? Just cause you dont like it doesnt make it wrong.
She had a safe word and didn't use it. They both were consenting adults. Get off your high horse.

No shit she didn't use her safe word. She was probably scared op will hurt her even more if she does or just shocked. Bdsm is one thing but doing sick shit to a person youre supposed to love is fucked up

Here are some things:

1) girlfriend didn't expect your kink to be that sadistic but went through with it for you, because it was your birthday and your pleasure
2) girlfriend is shocked of how you treated her, it hurt and humiliated her and is now ruminating and reading between the lines
3) girlfriend is shocked of your kink and how it made her feel more humiliated than hurt
4) girlfriend is shocked of your kink and herself for going through with it
5)girlfriend is shocked of your kink and her enjoying if not most, some parts of it but feels humiliated
6)girlfriend cant get over the fact you made her feel and treated her like a Stacy whore
7) she wanted to say the safeword but couldn't find the strength to do it (or as you said if you filled her mouth orifice as well then she couldn't). My gf told me when she lost her virginity it hurt her and she bled yet she couldn't voice it and tell him to stop, tears rolled down her cheeks but her body felt weak at the new sensation of a painful sex act

Also could be , ive had girls tell me that while they enjoyed more or less degrading kinks, it was physically pleasurable but psychologically degrading and they felt like crying afterwards

Sadists are broken people with no empathy so it figures that they'd have trouble understanding why absolute humiliation and torture reserved for extreme S&M porn would upset their partner.
I bet you're one of those psychos who thinks he has to walk on eggshells around women because they'll claim rape at the drop of a hat

She said do whatever you want. They had a safe word. OP did nothing wrong.

Legally no, he is in the clear. But his gf probably isnt autistic so he should take into consideration how she feels
>hurr she said anything

> reserved for extreme S&M porn
That's where you're wrong though. She got him into a situation where it was implied she was going to tell him when they reached her limits. "Do whatever you want to me" can literally include rape play where "no" and physical resistance means "keep going", so how was he supposed to know she wasn't enjoying herself as well?

Yeah, I think you have to be upfront when looking for BDSM partners

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user, for normal and mentally healthy people "everything" in this context never means literally everything. His gf's fault was not taking into consideration a possibility that her bf is a sick sadistic piece of shit. She fucked up big time by trusting him, basically.

>so how was he supposed to know she wasn't enjoying herself as well?
Literal autism

>it was implied

This us why BDSM has a bad name. No one with half an ounce of common sense goes all out when something is "implied". This type of shit must be discussed properly to avoid misunderstanding and miscommunication. Trying to defend a total fuck up is idiotic.

See fellas this is who women like this is who they go for the state of western women time to go mgtow.

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>man vows to disregard females for the seventh time this month

>you can do whatever you want

This is the stupidest thing a bottom can say. Any sub or bottom that says they have no limits is naive.

In truth, you both fucked up. Her, for not telling you her actual limits, and you for not making sure what you wanted to do was ok. Negotiation is BDSM 101. Sure, negotiation isn't always sexy, but it's fucking important. You should both be clear on what the scene is going to be like before you get into it. And you should check up on the sub periodically to make sure they're alright; it can be difficult to remember to safeword out of the scene when you're in shock.

All in all it sounds like a complete shit show. And to the retards saying that this is a test: issues like OP's are what you're inviting into your life. Use explicit consent for this kind of shit.

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Dumbass, she had no idea her bf is a deranged sadist because he never brought it up before

This. If I say “do whatever you want to my body” to my boyfriend I’m not going to expect him to pull out a knife and start cutting me up or eating slices of my flesh or some other sick shit. To normal people that shit just means “you can be a little rougher than normal” not “torture me physically and stick needles in my nipples and pussy” ffs.

Y'all are actong like crossing a line is an all or nothing thing. OP almost certainly went too far for comfort, considering the way his gf is reacting, but she probably didn't expect that, and it may nkt have been to safeword level. Too far, but in small gradations. It's easy to justify in the moment, but afterward she probably thought "gee, that really was a bit much. Why did he want to do those things to me?"

Tbh I'm just tired of all the drama with women. I'm a introvert so I don't need attention all that much I just wish there was a way to have kids without women with no social stigma.

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How about being explicit in what's ok? Some women like being choked a bit. With all the normalfag memes these days you'd assume damn near every woman is into that. But it's not always so.

If you want to role-play the whole "I'm at your mercy" thing you should still have both partners with the same general expectations for the scene. Stop fucking implying shit. Have conversations. How much "rougher than normal" is your sex going to be? Are you both on the same page? Because if your boyfriend has always wanted to slap you hard in the face during sex and you burst into treats when he does, you've invited that upon yourself.

>He didn't seem mean like all the other guys
Yeah sure I've heard that before it's not really hard to guess someone character just by looking at them. Yeah because someone who look like this is a nice guy.

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This is why kinks are degenerate.

>seemed like you really wanted to hurt me
I don't get this shit. OF COURSE he wanted to hurt you, THAT'S HIS THING. God damn women need to stop thinking 50 shades of grey is a template for a healthy relationship.

>tfw depressed, cynical and can't enjoy the simple things in life anymore but don't watch porn

It's a choice, men can always drop porn and just choose not to watch it

Kinks are fine. People just need to stop playing games with "signs" and assumptions. The BDSM community is all about explicit consent. If the rest of the world followed that example, we would see less rape. Shit like Pic Related was teaching guys that no means yes. Now with #metoo and shit guys know that "no" means no, but some women are still trying to play coy and undermine that.

this isn't a shit test you fucking retard, failing a shit test is when a man submits to avoid conflict
op dominated her speechless
>pins through her nipples
what the fuck op? how does that help make either of you cum?

Fuck I forgot to attach the damn image. I should sleep.

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holy kek I'd probably cry too

This is just part of girls playing into their rape fantasies don't pay it much attention. I had an exgf who claimed I raped her even though she enjoyed it


Yeah you dun goffed

What if he wanted to slice off a nipple and force you to eat it? Or pull your vagina outside your body and jerk off with it like a Tenga egg? What if he wanted to pierce one of your eyeballs with his cock?

Boundaries are important to establish when there are people with those fetishes and they repress them because of people like you who don't understand.

Oh those poor, poor people who have to hide their fetishes because the society just won't understand that the only way they can cum is to mutilate their partner. Won't someone think of their feels?

People like you should be gassed.

I'm sorry you're into anal prolapse and vomit, user. Maybe one day your girl will let you mutilate her asshole!

>said that I could do whatever I wanted
This is a test to see how well you know her and how much you respect her. You failed miserably. Your relationship is over. I don't think any formal charges will come out of this as it is difficult to prove what was agreed upon. For the sake of this discussion the consensus seems to be to take your word on who instigated the cuffs, but this is yet another thing that is difficult to prove.

Seems like you were experimenting sexually. You realized that you’re not into that but you hurt her in the process. We all fuck up from time to time; own up to our mistakes and learn from them.

>her ass is bright red right now and I have a really conflicted boner about it and I don't feel like I can comfort her while still having it
I'm sorry OP but that's the funniest shit I've read all day

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How do I slightly abuse my husbando? Emotional abuse doesn't really do it for me, and he's so much stronger than I am.


You did nothing wrong, don't worry about it.

>This is a test to see how well you know her and how much you respect her.
lmao, fuck off, virgin

unironically seek Christ

You guys are seriously overreacting.

Get some help dude, cause you are fucked up

This is what happens when you're raised on internet porn

go be gay your own way somewhere else

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The only thing you did wrong is here:
>I don't feel like I can comfort her while still having it
Why the fuck not?

I like having rough sessions with my girl, where I call her a worthless dog, make her crawl, choke her, slap her face, punch her in the stomach, etc. She thoroughly enjoys all of it, many women do, it's a cathartic feeling for them and they often cry afterwards, but it's crucial that, once the sex is over, you cuddle them and give them compliments so they don't think they're actual worthless dogs. If you do that, they'll keep coming back for more.