she's my first love, been together for 6 years now for the last 4 years it was a long distance relationship since i was at uni and she was at home (5.5 hours away) things got really bad at the end of it, we were very distant and at the same time she met her ex at a party, which led to them texting i know all this because when i came back home and graduated i saw her text a blank contact and delete the text straight away, i copied the number and went to send a message to it and since its an iphone it said maybe: his name i confronted her about it, i was fuming but she broke down and told me she was talking to him out of loneliness since things were really bad, she assured me that nothing happened and i was even getting calls from her cousin and mum saying they were really worried about her and that she did nothing it took a while but i started to look past it, i agree that things were really shit between us and i trusted she didnt do anything so we started to move forward that was about 5 months ago, but this morning at hers i had a horrible dream about it, and when she left to go out with her dad i went on her laptop and searched his name on imessage i found one text to her female friend which basically said 'i really have to decide what to do here, im worried im going to end up sleeping with him' that was a month before i found out anything about it
what do i do? my heart aches, i'm constantly paranoid and i don't know what to do, do i confront her and admit to searching through her messages? if she lied once she'd lie again, how do i actually find out and get closure? i dont know if you can even help, but i needed a place to open up because i'm really hurting thanks for reading the blog post, like upvote and subscribe
Tell her what you feel and that you want reassurance that nothing happened and if she can't you would like her to be honest and let you go.
Alexander Reed
it sounds so easy when you write it like that, should i tell her about the message i read? i think i'm more scared of the answer, i love her with all my heart but the thought of someone else makes me sick
Joseph Cox
Do NOT do this. If she really didn't cheat, this only serves to push her away; it will cause a world of doubt, self-doubt - there is no good outcome to this. You either trust her, or you don't, OP. Break up with her, or stay.
Brandon Russell
You can. You needed answers and went for it since she wouldn't provide. What I said was just summing it up. If she lets you go then that's probably because shit happened.
Isaiah Powell
Well you have been in a relationship long past where a girl (and her friends) expect an engagement ring...
...of course she’s going to start looking around.
John Cook
Imagine you don't say anything, how will you feel in a couple weeks. If you think you can't get over it then you must have trust issues with her. If you can't trust her or be confident in what she tells you, you shouldn't be with her.
Asher Martin
well this just adds more confusion since i see valid points in both i don't want to make things worse and i wish i never read that message now so i could have carried on living in ignorance, but i don't know if my head can take not knowing
we're not shy about discussing that or our futures together, but we're both young and i've only just left university, there's never really been a point where i could buy a ring and we could move our relationship forward like that
Brandon Murphy
His trust is already broken. He needs answers.
Julian Gutierrez
the past few months after it first happened i really had moved on from it and we were in a good, happy place, of course i thought about it from time to time but i knew that letting it take over our relationship would cause it to die and no good from come of it its really the fact ive seen this message which makes me think theres more to it than what she told me
Andrew Ross
>there's never really been a point where i could buy a ring and we could move our relationship forward like that
So why does it shock you that she needs to find someone that can?
Julian Lee
if you even suspect this, its already beyond salvaging
Samuel Baker
This. Its over.
Anthony Hughes
because as we've spoken about it we've both agreed that it wasn't the time but it was always our intention to be together through it all, i mean how could we be engaged if we don't even live near each other let alone together the plan was always that i'd graduate this summer and then by january once i had a job and was back to normal we'd move in together and build from there do you really think thats the problem, that things are going too slow for her? i cant help that i went to uni and she didnt so her life went on hold, what was i to do?
Noah Myers
you think i should end it regardless? the idea of being without her makes me sick, but so does the idea of her betraying me like this and the constant doubt like i said, its my first love so it'll be my first heartbreak, i don't know what i'm doing
Grayson Brown
Engagements can last years, but is does help establish a solid commitment.
David Howard
>'i really have to decide what to do here, im worried im going to end up sleeping with him' Realistically, you will never trust her again. No matter what you'll end up searching on her phone or laptop for signs of cheating and it will always eat you from the inside
Xavier Cox
i only fear that its too late now, fuck the whole premise seemed far too rushed, to be engaged in my early 20s, i just never felt this would happen
i've searched her phone when i first found out and then this morning after that dream, i havent wanted to do it again because thats the first start of a toxic relationship but you're right, i dont think i can just forget, and i fear even if she tells me she did nothing i wont believe her this is it, isnt it?
Jack Brooks
Imagine you don't say anything and how you would feel. If you can't be confident in what she says and you really can't trust her, you don't need to be with her.
Christian Ward
I think if you're even the slightest bit suspicious something happened, yes you should end it. Even if it's a hunch alone and you don't have any proof, the fact something feels wrong is signal enough. I would rather end things with someone based on mere suspicion alone rather than potentially risk taking the chance of staying with someone who cheated, lied or seriously disrespected me in anyway.
Jeremiah Bell
OP, if your gf of 6 years rekindles shit with an ex from that long ago your relationship is over already. He's her bf now and you the ex.
Michael Watson
You are a pathetic little bitch.
No shit she is cheating on you.
You are little children and live almost 6 hours away.
Stop being a whiny little piece of shit and grow some balls.
Stop talking to her you pathetic fuck.
See what happens when guys don't have male friends or an older brother to guide them? They act like you .. pathetic.
You are opening up on here and "hurting" because you don't have friends and you are either to young and inexperienced to understand how pathetic your actions are.. Fuck...Grow up you bitch.
She lied to you and is fucking her ex and you are on here whining how hard your life is? How sad you are? Fuck you!
I wish I was there I'd hit you in your little bitch mouth and kick you in your sorry ass.
6 fucking years wasted on dating this bitch.. pathetic. you make me sick
