Intentionally injuring myself

I need help anons. I'm desperate for it.
I've been, over the last 18 months, trying to accomplish an extremely important goal. At this point I've put so much pressure on it, it doesn't even matter if it's effective or not. I feel like it's my last opportunity to get out of depression.
But because of my depression, the incompetence of myself and that of others, I can't achieve it anymore. So I'm gonna try the last thing I can.

Because of a government exploit, I could make it if I am briefly physically incapacitated. (I live in Europe so healthcare costs won't be a problem)
What would be the best method for this? I really don't want to fuck up and slit a major artery or something.

All I'm asking is for it to leave no scar, and to fully heal reasonably fast. Looking for any possible advice.

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just do something really stupid, just so that nobody suspects you

like maybe buy some avocado and "accidentaly" shove the knife through your hand. you wouldn't believe how many retards fucked that up

become a skateboarder

Anything done to your foot is stereotypical and screams "fraud".

that's a bit impractical

I'd be surprised if anyone cared

mfw I'm such a retard I expected Jow Forums to be useful

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I might as well keep this thread alive for a little longer

at least if I was a full normie I'd get mocked but I'm just mediocre enough to where nobody gives a shit

dont do it its not worth it
if you get investigated for fraud then you'll really wanna kill yourself

but I'm not doing something necessarily illegal, the wounds are gonna be physical, there'll be no doubt about it. All I'd need to do is make up some excuse for the injury, which shouldn't be hard

like at least reply dude

user don't do it, it's an extremely lame thing to do

I know, but, I don't know what else I could do

I feel disgusting, I want to wither away and die. It feels like someone punched a hole through my stomach

now that I think about it, it doesn't even have to do that much with actually accomplishing the goal. i just want to stay in a hospital for a while, i want to just not move for a while

I want to die fuck

can somebody just tell me to go kill myself or go to Jow Forums or something?

ah fuck i just realised I'm an attention whore

Punch the floor as hard as you can
Stop and take a deep breath then think about every inch of pain in your fist
Punch the floor again
Repeat until satisfied

yeah thats what i do, works great, except i will punch my legs

Yes you are, you fucking nigger. Even Jow Forums wouldn't stand you. Shut the fuck up and stop refreshing your thread every 5 seconds and getting mad nothing new was posted.

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nice, thanks user

Holy shit, how dumb do you have to be to respond to a open attention whore? Complete mongoloid.

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