How important is a father figure or is it just a meme?

When i was young i remember i always admired my dad so much, i thought he was the greatest, he had an ability to assert dominance in the household without ever raising his voice that my mum never had. i wanted to be just like him and that to a large extent has shaped who i am today. Id hate to imagine a childhood without him in it

Guy here.

I've never had a strong masculine presence in my entire life. I was basically raised by women, many of whom were/are dysfunctional in some respect.

It's set me back in major ways. I've never had any strong guidance in my life, so I've pretty much just trudged along figuring things out as I go. Because of this I'm waaaay behind people my age in terms of life advancement.

Don't worry about masculinity man. I struggle with that too.

Woman here, my dad was present but absent at the same time. He was also an asshole towards my mom and everyone else. I recently discovered I have huge trust issues because of him, can't trust men like I trust women. It's now up to me to fix it, I am almost there but it's been really, really hard for me.

Father figures have been the most important thing in my life so that I don’t become a chick with daddy issues since my own dad was gone for like, 5-6 years. I think they’re very important. Mothers do their best but they absolutely cannot fill the same role as a dad, men are women are just too different and while I love my mother, she is unfortunately the strict, bitchy, never-proud-of-you parent, and I, and a lot of people, need something to balance that out.
Bond with some male bosses, teachers, grandparents, etc. Find a mentor. When you find that one you really mesh with, it’s fantastic.

probably more important than a mother honestly.

Does this also apply if you were forced to live with your abusive mentally ill father every other week because he had joint custody? Also had to live with him for extended points of time when my mom was homeless

>muh anecdote

same experience here.

What?

Yea.

1: Raising a child one parent is like trying to go through life with one hand. Two is the norm for a reason.

2: When pervs and assholes are thinking about targeting a vulnerable young person, the first thing they worry about is the young person's father. The mother isn't even on the list of concerns.

3: Acting like men aren't good for anything is just called sour grapes. It's the equivalent of bitches&whores memes.

he posted statistics, not one person's story.

It matters, but everyone is different. Just because you have a shitty father figure doesn't mean you'll turn out bad

>life has many doors

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Ive only had girlfriends with absent fathers and thats saying something

Yes its important. probably one of the most important things in growing up is to have a father bond I think. Women want to cover you in a comfortable blanket of love and that doesnt prepare you for independence..

While my father was around i was pretty ballsy and used to chase around after girls in kindergarten.

He left when I started grade school and I became more and more shy, got overweight and had very few friends.

He became more active when i got to mid-teens but by that point he'd just prostrate me about my lifestyle

My father was a narcissist and a hoarder. When he died it was so liberating. I wish I had grown up without

This, nice job user

I would have preferred not to have a father because my father was shitty. He actively tried to destroy my confidence and the only reason why I'm relatively stable now is because I'm self-aware and worked on my stability. I think that fathers are important to a child, but only the good ones. It's better not to have a father than to have a shitty one.

Statistically, you are fucked.
You end up as a thug, a drug addict and in very extreme cases, you become a pathetic weeb who posts on 4channel.

>waaaay
Gay or bi?

Same. I have bipolar after all the stress. Unable to hold a job especially not if they know im mentally ill. I am just probably suicide before 30. Im in my early 20s.

same here
I've been looking for father figures in professors at college lately

father figures are cool but not integral for development. whats most important is being your own man, and happy with yourself.

I think very important just because being a single mom raising one/two children is really fucking hard if you have a full time job at the same time and just being two people will greatly reduce the work load while also improving the amount of attention each child can get

t. raised by single mom and a failure

Same. I'm on the path to hating men, and realised that men can be fucking inferior after seeing my father. Goddamn I hate most males so much

Same here.
I feel I never learned how to be a man, and it drives me crazy because I have no idea how to approach women.

>All these bipolar children from broken families claiming father figures aren't important
lol I love this website sometimes.

I see, you have no brothers then

Depends on how good your mother is/was.

t. raised by single mom who had her shit together and became a success

Martial arts teachers are good too as external father figures

Statistically it's important, but that doesn't mean you automatically have some hidden issues that you didn't know about just because your dad was gone.
Don'tknow if that counts as a meme or not.

>men can be fucking inferior
>men can be
Yes people can be good and bad. Welcome to being an adult.

It obviously has an effect on you during your upbringing but using your father or lack of father as an excuse for shitty behavior is pure cope

>social structures older than civilization itself were constructed for the purpose of spiting muff masticaters
Sure.

I'd find lesbians insisting they exist as an unwavering identity less laughable, if they didn't regularly show an abject irreverence and skepticism for everything that makes up the identity of half the fucking species.

Thank you for voluntarily removing yourself from the gene pool. We don't need more bitter, self-obsessed people.

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That's definitely part of it.
Ever seen Diamond is Unbreakable? It's really cool, because both the protagonist and the bad guy are from a single parent home. The protagonist's mother is this little battle axe that badgers him relentlessly to do the shit he's supposed to do, while the villain's father constantly tries to cover for his son and protect him.
That's a duality I see all the time in single parenting, they either shoulder up the responsibilities of both halves and let their kid figure out the gender-specific stuff on their own, or they're apathetic and enable the shit out of them.

Same 3/3 were either bipolar and sexual, bipolar, insecure and suicidal or just emotionally unstable

It's important, but it's not an excuse.

At one point, who you are is YOUR responsibility. There's no such thing as,

>i'm not that type of person/i can't do that because i didn't have a father growing up

once you're an adult.

I have 2 young girls I havn't seen in about... 4 years now. One of them is 4 years old, the other is 8 or 9. I only spent about a year of time with the 4 year old. The mother is a fucking nightmare, and I have an urge to choke her to death every time I see her or even hear her voice. I've kinda just wrote the kids off, and I tell people I have no kids. Hope they turn out alright. Should I try and be involved when they are older and can reach out to me, and if so, what should I tell them?

>be me
>dad abandoned me
>my stepdad hit my mom
>fucking hate man
>i am on the verge of transitioning to female because of this.

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You sound like a turbofaggot.

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>Because of this I'm waaaay behind people my age in terms of life advancement.
Huge ditto

My mother is a nutcase, ripped my father out of my life at a young age. My entire adult life has felt like a "late bloomer" I'm always years behind peers my age. I'm 27 now and still working very hard to close the gap, but damn it's hard. You're really on your own and have to learn most lessons in life the hard way.

Hijacking this thread for my own related question. How important is a mother figure?
>t. had a dad, only see my mom every ~5 years

I had a brother like you.
Please don't follow in his footsteps. I know how much that experience tears you up inside, but you have to find a way to take back the things you feel he stole from you. There are very positive forms of masculinity, and I'm sure you have that inside you somewhere.

Isnt that a prerequisite to being here?

He’ll be more adjusted assuming his dad is normal

>He’ll be more adjusted
I'm asking this from a female perspective, in case that makes any difference.

You'd know more about it than most of us.

I've heard of single dads raising little tomboys, Think Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird, but I don't know what that lack of a nurturer does to girls.

Same thing? Do you feel like you never learned how to be motherly?

>very positive forms of masculinity
Such as?

Oh, so a girl being raised without a mother or more adjusted by a females standard? I wouldn’t know about the girl being raised without a mother; but I’d say a guy would be at bare minimum equally adjusted by anyone’s standard

Well, this just doesn't seem very common and I don't feel like I know a lot about it either. But I certainly am more manly than the average girl in the sense that I do dress much like a guy, and don't have many girly interests either.
>Do you feel like you never learned how to be motherly?
I'm starting to think this is part of the reason why I'm so bad with kids and why I feel so awkward around them. Anyway, thanks for the insight.

Anger that doesn't result in destruction.
The drive and ambition to earn the things you want, the cavalier playfulness to shake off your rejections and losses, and the emotional fortitude to be a rock for people around you.
The feeling of confidence and pride that comes from developing your physical abilities, seeing all these weird and fascinating shapes form in your arms that you had no idea were even there.

Above all, the pure strength of will to be alone and downtrodden and still thank God that you were given this little chunk of space and time to live.

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Extremely.

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