Good Evening Anonymous!

You're welcome!
Now, I don't remember every detail of what we discussed. But this eye contact and whispering thing stood out to me. It appears as though something is going on with her below the surface. I don't know her, so I don't see any of the nonverbal cues she gives off. But that's how I drew my conclusion

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I need some advice. How do i deal with Roll being a lil' bitch?

Hm I get what you mean. I have a hard time initiating these kinds of things. It gets tiring for me. Ah I'm just overthinking things again. I let my anxiety take control some times. I just need to keep at it really. It's hard being patient but I'll get there.

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What do you mean something is going on with her below the surface? I don't understand how she was normal a week before the breakup, but then became very cold and distant to the point she avoids me like the plague. It's been 4 months and she still acts like this. Why does she act like this?

And I have no doubt you will succeed!
Just move at your own pace. Don't try to rush yourself. Enjoy the journey!

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Okay, that sounds reasonable.

I wish I could bother you a little more for this but I think I'll make another thread for the rest. But before I go, do you have advice on this:

>I might end up with an extrovert and I'm 99% sure it wouldn't go well

part specifically? The standard advice seems geared towards getting a specific kind of girl (at least that's how I see it).

>>>Why does she act like this?

That there is the million dollar question. I don't know. I don't know whats going on in her head.

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You know how they say Opposites Attract? It might work that way for you. You never know! I know couples who are like this. And they are just fine together. Dont write someone off just because they are extroverted. They just might be the perfect match for you!

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I won't. Honestly, I'm just going off of experiences with extroverted people I know (male and female). Thanks for the advice, Mantis!

That true. What do I do? We sit next to each other and she avoids looking and talking to me. There is only 2 weeks left until the semester ends.

Ah I'll try not to. Thank you Mantis! I hope you have a good night tonight.

little steps. don't expect to be an extrovert if you're not, just try something small like asking someone how their week was once in a while. it's a slow build.
I suggest using jam. I know a lot of people are fond of butter on bread rolls, but I really think a fruit spread can elevate them.

>>>she avoids looking and talking to me.

I suggest you give her some space.

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So I shouldn't talk or look at her unless she does right? How do I give her space if we sit next to each other in class?

By not approaching her. Don't try to talk to her Just leave her be. If she wants to talk to you at some point, she will innate this.

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*initiate

Fucking autocorrect

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Ah It is most definitely a slow build. I need that reminder from time to time. Thank you!

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So I just sit in my chair and mind my own business? It's going to be hard since we sit next to each other but I'll do it. I want the semester to be over so we can have real space and see what comes from that.

I agree. She might be waiting for that, too.
,

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Also I wanted to ask what should I do when I see her talk to a guy she's been talking to before class? I try my best to ignore them and mind my own business.

I feel insecure in all my endeavors, like I don't know enough about anything other than reactionary political philosophy to hold a conversation and nobody wants to listen to me go on about why my antisemitism is a rational response to Jewish political activism.
I feel like I can't get into anything, like I can't get good at anything. I try watching movies or tv shows and just get bored and give up 10 minutes in. I've been playing guitar for 15 years and still can't play a single song all the way through. I got Higurashi on Halloween and haven't even finished the Onikakushi.

>>>I try my best to ignore them and mind my own business

This.
I think, deep down inside, you already knew this. And its true. She can speak to whoever she wants to. Leave it alone.

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Do you like sports? That's a thing people like to talk about.

I have feelings for one of my best friends, who says she doesn’t reciprocate, which is fine. However she likes to tease me sexually(referencing me sexually, jerking off objects in my room while staring at me)
Normally I’d disappear for a bit while the feelings subside, but I can’t manage it as she is also best friends with my roommate, I HAVE to see her every day.
I’d like to tell her to stop, but I enjoy until she leaves into which I sink a deep depression. I can’t fathom why someone would tease someone like that unless they actually want me to make a move.
Any advice?

>>>I've been playing guitar for 15 years and still can't play a single song all the way through

Do you allow yourself time to practice? What happens when you try to play a song?

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Girls enjoy attention. That's old news. But that looks like the situation here. She has your attention. And your sexual interest. And she appears to enjoy it immensely. If you politely and respectfully tell her to stop, she probably will.

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communicate. tell her that it feels awkward given the situation between you two. it'll be even more awkward for a while, but hopefully it will even out in the end.

I'm doing my best to move on now. I wanted to know was deleting her off social media a good idea? She deleted me from snapchat and Instagram but kept me in Facebook. I deleted her so I don't I have to see her but didn't block her. Did this ruin our chances of ever getting back together? Sorry for asking too much.

Well I would’ve hoped she would know better, if she didn’t want anything to happen, but those are reasonable answers. thanks

You're not asking too much. Not at all.
Deleting her off social media is a good thing. It's all about giving her space at this point.

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taking time away is one of the best ways to heal. ripping the band-aid off in one go and deleting her was healthy.

Thanks for all the help, it's calms me down. Well I'll just mind my own business until the semester is over and give her real space. If she wants to rekindle things, she should still have my number and email. I deleted all her info so I can never have the urge to call her. I guess I should start dating again to see there are other options.

I hit it off with a co worker a few weeks ago. I've been here 5 years and she's been here 2. We work in diff departments on different floors. Our jobs in no way shape or form line up other than of course working for the same company. After laughing at all of my jokes and twirling her hair whenever we were chatting at lunch and giving off what I assumed was genuine interest I decided to ask for her number and she happily scribbled a number out and handed it over. We chatted for a few days via text and it went well so I asked her if she wanted to go out after work the following night and get drinks. She said she was busy and politely declined. I said no problem and said some other time. It's been about a week now and she hasn't asked about grabbing drinks or food or anything with me. She asked me a few times what I was up to. I tried saying out watching the game at a bar by myself. I tried saying I wasn't doing anything. I even said I had nothing planned but I was itching for something. But she just laughs and tells me what she's doing. I don't want to come off as overbearing or desperate, but I don't want to do the should I shouldnt I dance. Should I ask her if she wants to go out again? If so should I instead just tell her I'd like to take her out sometime but ask which day is best for her? or should I just let it go and just be friends unless she brings it up? We're not kids either, we're both in our early 30s.

You're welcome!
And yes, you are free to date other girls. And you should have fun with that!

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Hello! I've got a friend I have a close relationship with. When my dog died, she was the only person who reached out to make sure I was okay, and that meant a lot to me because things were pretty dark back then. There's quite a few turnoffs about her for me, so I'm never going to pursue her, but I thought she was a good friend, and I really don't think I can repay how she helped me back then. Unfortunately, some drama happened between me and one of her close friends, like the "contact me again and I'm calling the police" kind. My friend had a small role to play in that, and now whenever I end up hanging out with her (which is much more infrequent post-clusterfuck, which is understandable on her end), all I want to do is cut ties with her because I'm reminded of that gigantic shitstorm. However, with what she did for me before, I still feel like that's not enough of a reason to end the friendship - that sort of clusterfuck is kinda par for the course with that part of my social circle, and if she ended up in a bad spot or needed my help, I want to be able to lend her a hand if she needed it. How can I reconcile this? I don't even know if she wants to be friends anymore.

don't be afraid to take some time for yourself as well. it's not something people are fond of admitting, but being alone and working on some self-reflection and self-improvement is a good way to build some of your confidence back up.
just my opinion, though. by all means, get back out there as soon as you feel comfortable.
nothing wrong with being the first person to talk. ask if she wants to grab lunch or something.

>>>should I ask her if she wants to go out again?

Yes.
She will do everything and anything but ask you out directly. That's your job.

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Who is this girl you keep posting? She's a QT

Good Evening!

How can you seem less cocky/needy to people? Like the genuine person I'm trying to be.

Am I spending too much money on my new GF?
I just like her a lot, and every time I see something fun, I don't think about the money and instead think of how happy she would be if we do this together.
She says she likes me a lot often. I feel like I do this because I am a bit insecure? IDK
She just texted me telling me she just made a reservation for a dinner for us. So I think either she feels bad, maybe she felt pressured, or maybe she is just that nice.

I spent around 600 this month, but this is our first month together, is this normal?

Firstly, I'm sorry about your doggo. This is devastating for most people. I'm glad you had this friend to help you through it.

With this issue, this "clusterfuck" as you call it, I recommend the utmost caution. You don't have to give me details. But you also don't need trouble with the law. If this girl no longer wants to be friends with you, let it go at that.

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I don't know how to handle my sex drive. My body wants sex and a woman's touch, but I'm so far behind on the learning curve I can't do much about it. What do you think I should do?

Having a quiet, easy self confidence is irresistible to most people. But don't confuse confidence with arrogance.

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I have been working on myself these past 4 months. I've been going to the gym, making a few friends, and watching corey wayne and reading his book. I've realised I messed up when I became clingy, needy, and complacent at the end of the relationship. I over pursued her when she got distant and some what begged a month after the break up.

Well what do you mean by a "quiet, easy" self confidence? What are somethings I can do to put this into practice in my life?

Desperately need this

How much do you take home in a month? What are your expenses?

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Fapping on the regular will help you with your sex drive.

>>>I'm so far behind on the learning curve I can't do much about it. What do you think I should do?

Explain this pls

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Both of us are currently students, I did have an internship last summer I was making 87K a year, I saved some money. She works full time while studying making around 56K a year.

I don't have that much of expenses since I still live with my parents, I only pay for gas/insurance/phone bill around 300/mo. I'm moving out in couple of month!

I forgot to mention that I will start working full time in couple of month, making 100K/year. i'm moving out because it is in a different state, and it will be a LDR that's why I'm spending money as well. so she remembers these moments

I mean, being comfortable in your own skin. I mean not wallowing in self pity. I mean, playing it cool.

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>Fapping on the regular will help you with your sex drive
What?

They mean jerk off so you don't think too much about sex

Then I guess $600 on the first month of dating isn't going to get you into financial trouble. But if you think it's too much, then scale back this month. And let her pay once in a while.

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Oh...

That makes a lot of sense. I guess really not caring as much and focusing on being my self.

In regards to conversations with people, how could I put this into action? Thanks again

When she offers to get the tab, I just refuse. I just feel it is wrong for me to let the girl pay.

Sure.
Are you prone to anxiety? Stay away from caffeine and chocolate. Remember to take a deep breath or two while talking to someone. That will help you stay relaxed. Start with this and see if you notice results.

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What the fuck do I talk to women about
like, how do I show a girl im worth talking to and honestly, I'm fine with having really personal deep conversations its just getting to that point which im having issues with. Like, how long can you go on having meaningless convo till you want to talk about something real with someone?

Hm. I don't have issues in that sense when talking to people. I'm very sociable, can connect well with people, etc. I'm asking what I should do to avoid being accidentally cocky or whatever it may be when conversing with others.

How do I get over my fear of the opposite sex?
'Realize women are also people' doesn't seem to be working. I keep getting scared of being accused of being a creep, and I feel like I'm being judged constantly when I talk to them. I can talk to other dudes just fine, but girls legitimately scare me.

On the mess, yeah that's in the past now, we've blocked each other and that's about as good an outcome as can be.

With my friend, yeah I noticed things were dialing back, and I've done the same in turn. If she doesn't like me anymore then, that sucks, but fine. But she still tries to sometimes invite me out and do things, so I dunno.

The weather. Sports. Food.

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Is watching corey wayne good for learning relationship skills? I hear that he gives great advice while others says its bullshit and he's a conman.

Girls do not bite. (Unless you politely ask them to

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So, whenever I become friends with someone, I’m really happy and excited to get to know them. I’m always in the mood to make friends and shit. But there’s this little voice in the back of my head that pops out and fucks everything up by making me believe small shit they do means they don’t like me. It’s usually ignorable, but it balls up until something actually happens and it results in me pushing people away or overreacting. It’s gotten to the point where I’m nervous to make friends now, I’m scared that one day they won’t like.
This is especially a problem NOW because I’ve found a mentor that I really like who seems to genuinely care for me, but I keep finding myself worried that somethings going to happen. I know I’m being paranoid. What do I do?

I know, but I can't believe it (if that makes any sense). I forget stuff like that as soon as I approach one and I don't know how to fix that.

It hasn't. My hormones will not shut up.

My first time was something other people might call female on male rape. My mom was dependant on me emotionally more than a teenager should probably have to handle

Be me. Work for Gov for years, advance to trusted position. Discover horrible things, so evil I can't imagine it's reality, Things I was not supposed to know. They thought I was stupid, turns out I was the best. Realizing the evil was too deeply rooted I go dark and drop out, I quit.
Wife mysteriously murdered shortly there after.
Spend next decade collecting evidence, raising children, staying hidden. Years later my torch is picked by others and carried further then I ever dreamed, soon their may be fruit, a light at the end of the tunnel, my long nightmare ended. Try to explain to children who are now adults what is happening, they think I'm crazy, I'm trying to protect them and they are blind. All my relatives save two act like the aliens in that movie where all the people are replaced by pods. They repeat things they hear on the news unquestioningly. They sound like crazy people, mob mentality prevails in their train of thought, independent thought seems to be beyond them.They are smarter then their brother who quit his good Gov. job for no apparent reason. They never liked my wife anyway, Their callous disregard for my marriage burns in my heart nearly as much as the pain of losing her. I have to be careful what I say, they are always triggered. I've been fighting this battle alone for so long now, alone, in the shadows, always moving forward , inch by inch, closer and closer, alone.
Soon, soon, I tell myself.
Check the beretta, lay down and close one eye.
Don't try to find me, I'm behind 9 boxes.

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Also, everytime I approach a girl I feel like people would laugh if they saw me. For thinking I had a chance at her.

You have to get rid of that thought. You have just as much chance as the next guy to be with whatever girl you're talking to.

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I'm not sure what's going on here. But you are welcome to speak your mind..

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Hey there Mantis! I hope you’re doing well because I ain’t feelin’ so hot as of the current moment. I wanna blame finals getting me down but as I think about it more, this is something that’s been in the back of my head.

See, I’ve been working on myself for the past couple of years and it’s come to a point where I’m living as positively as a broke college student can be. Everyday I try just to be a bit different and try to make life more interesting and fun for myself and everyone around me.

Now, the big problem is that I sweep my actual problems under the proverbial rug. The one that sticks out the most is my crippling loneliness. I have female friends and I always try to be positive/funny around women but holy shit am I starved of romantic contact. I figured my love life would start at some point “by itself” but it just hasn’t happened for me. I want to take the initiative but when I’ve tried it either goes nowhere. I think I’m just really bad at romance or I just haven’t found someone with legitimate romantic interest in me yet. What’s a guy to do here?

Op Here.
It's Zero Dark Thirty here in Op City.
Time to get some rest.
I recommend we all get snuggly and get some good sleeps.
If the thread is still up tomorrow, I'll be there.
If not, I'll see you all next Sunday.
Goodnight Anonymous, wherever you are!

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Please

Wow, you caught me in the nick of time! I was just getting ready to log out.
If you haven't found a girl you are interested in., I suggest putting yourself in places where girls congregate. Such as the local laundromat, for starters..

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So your first sexual experience was with your mother? If this is so, than there are issues here that require more than a Jow Forums thread to resolve.
I would start with an experienced professional therapist. Someone who is trained in how to work through this.

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No, no, nothing that extreme, but it was not something I wanted

There is a lady who comes into where I work a few days a week who I would like to talk with and get to know a little better but she always comes in when its busy and I never get the chance.

Then just smile and say hello. Start with that.
How badly does it affect you? Do you think therapy would help you?

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>Talk to girl ive known for years
>Left overseas to help with humanitarian aid
>Had a romance, sent her sweet things to let her know my affection, she was interested
>Get back seems like nothings there
>I stopped talking to her and moved on
>She starts trying to communicate with me again after 3 months
>Play the "Idk who this is card"
>Starts talking and wanting to hang out
>She flakes on everything we plan and I start to ignore her again
>Weeks later happens again. I give her short talk because im tired of the games and slowly im just not caring/ losing interest.

Whys this happen user? And why do girls do this?

I doesn't help for sure, but I think the learning curve is the bigger issue

I am quite sure that it's the attention she thrives on. When it comes time to actually do something irl, she bails. After a brief cooling off period, the cycle repeats.
And that is how it's going to go with this one.
Best to move on.

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I still say a therapist is your best bet.

Ok, I really need to go to bed.
Goodnight Anonymous, I'll either see you tomorrow or next sunday!

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I moved on to another girl. But whats crazy is that now that i just give her short talk and not talk to her. She tries her hardest to help me out. Before applying to a couple PhD programs she offered to help look over my personal statement, etc. I sent her my drafts not expecting her to help and submitted my application days prior, she had revisions done three days before which was a shock because she never comes through. I kind of told her i submitted my applications already, was honest about her not coming through, and just ignored her again. She messages me telling me if I need anything with school shell help me out and that she wanted to go camping. I planned it and she bailed, but i went with the girl ive been seeing instead so it worked out regardless. She before would never look at any messages I had or my snaps, social media. But now she always looks at my snaps and messages me. Shes cute don’t get me wrong but I just feel like shes socially akward?

Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years and it seems like the connection we used to have is fading, so far it feels like we are just roomates living with each other yet will still cook, clean, do few intimate things, sex every two weeks sometimes. Is this what love leads to or is this just a dying relationship?

>Then just smile and say hello.

I do but unfortunately that is all I have time for.

Can I get an answer to

I'm a currycel and a mentalcel life was over for me before it even began

I looked him up now because I had no idea who he is, so take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt. He seems like the kind of guy who gives somewhat useful, fairly generic advice. Which might be useful on a subject like business, but relationships are something that are heavily focused on your personality, so having someone who doesn't even know you give you advice on that is kind of.... you know. All they can say is a bunch of cliches that may or may not apply to you.

You want to get better at relationships (whatever that means)? Have more relationships and put some thought and effort into understanding how people work. Generally a decent psychologist can teach you how to improve your relationships much better than all these self improvement gurus you see on youtube and whatnot.

A laundromat? My first thoughts would be a bookstore or cafe lol. So, I’m guessing you’d want me to be in a place where women congregate, strike up conversation, and go from there, right?