My girlfriend got triggered at me when I told her I refuse to teach girls self defense. She was considering getting into a martial art or even boxing to “defend herself” if need be. I shook my head and told her to just get a gun. She said why not both and I told her no woman can defeat a violent man in straight hand-to-hand combat so it would be a waste of time. Then she got mad because I teach her younger brother already. She challenged me to a friendly fight to prove a point and I waved her off because I would just let her win. And because it’s not the same as a rapey or murderous bastard trying to get her.
I’m a straightforward dude, did I actually do anything wrong?
Why even ask? It's clear you're not open to dissenting opinions
Leo Morales
I am. And when they’re wrong I say so.
Thomas Jones
>no woman can defeat a violent man in straight hand-to-hand combat That’s dumb. Women can learn self-defense moves to stop guys, even if they’re stronger. It’s a meme that a woman is always helpless in a violent situation. Alternatively, she could carry pepper spray if she doesn’t like the idea of guns
Nathan Murphy
fine then, you're wrong. You deny helping someone improve themselves because of a limit to their capabilities you believe they have. According to you her max ability is less than yours, therefore she never deserves to reach it. If we accept your belief that she will never be physically capable of defeating a man, what about if she is attacked by a woman? You would damn a person to weakness because they could never be as strong as you. Nothing about your philosophy demonstrates any logic or the desire to help others despite the fact that you supposedly have a job helping others.
Christopher Jackson
Not OP but in a 1 on 1 situation where both combatants are unarmed the male will absolutely obliterate the female. If you want a ratio, I would call it 90:10 or 95:5, male's favor. I honestly think that the muscular gap between men and women is much more pronounced than most claim it to be. Also, stop watching those dumb meme "self defense techniques" for women videos, 99% of it is fucking dog shit.
Jose Green
It's really insulting and I'd be surprised if she stays with you much longer. Who needs such a dumb and condescending boyfriend when there's better out there.
Caleb Smith
I hope she learns self defense and then beats you up
Fuck off with your bullshit stats. If men can so easily obliterate women, all the more reason they should be trained in self defense.
Parker Mitchell
The best self defense is a gun true but martial arts for self defense isn't the same as a brawl. She doesn't need to be able to kick the dude's ass, she just needs to be able to GTFO of there unraped.
Grayson Gutierrez
This is absolutely ridiculous. Techniques in self-defense have nothing to do with strength. I could easily flip a big guy down hard and I'm not that strong. How about this scenario; a buff 5'10" weightlifting fit woman vs a 5' Jow Forums nerd? I know who would get the snot knocked out of him.
Noah Jones
mass/size is what matters in physical confrontation no matter how you slice it a big girl will btfo a small man but girls are smaller overall that's why this is a thing
Julian Richardson
The weightlifting chick?
Men have drastically higher muscle density. I’ve seen scrawny computer nerds utterly dominate female cops with delusions of competence at my gym before.
Adrian Bennett
>I'm open to other opinions > I know when other opinions are wrong because my opinion is 100% right
Even though you have the personality of a dumber than average rock and don't deserve a girlfriend, my honest advice is to realize that most violent offenders are not trained in martial arts and most women who are trained in martial arts can beat the fuck out of most men who aren't.
There's a high extreme where a competent female fighter would always lose against a competent male fighter due to genetics, but the world isn't on the tip of the bell curve.
Also martial arts teaches discipline, not just defense/how to beat somebody up. Your failure in your original post to understand this makes me think you don't even know martial arts near as well as you think you do, and are not teaching her brother well/at all and shouldn't teach anyone in general.
There's my opinion. If it's wrong just "say so."
Jaxon Brown
>bullshit stats >If you want a ratio, I would call it 90:10 or 95:5 I was stating an opinion. I also forgot to state it was the average male vs average female. I don't think 95:5 is unreasonable at all, if anything it's probably more in the male's favor than that, kek. But yes, men are significantly stronger, have greater lung capacity, denser muscle mass and are overall larger than women. You can have all the technique you want, but when a beast is chasing you down you better pray to yhvh for a miracle.
Jaxson Cook
>most women who are trained in martial arts can beat the fuck out of most men who aren't I don’t think you’ve ever semi-seriously sparred with a woman before. They always describe it as getting manhandled by a Neanderthal. Even adjusting for size. A man with no experience will absolutely crush a woman with years of it.
Guns are the only real way a woman to stand up to a man. Besides crying for help anyway.
Aiden King
>Believing that muscle density is the primary factor in a physical fight Its brainlet season
Gabriel Hall
>muscle density has nothing to do with strength
So this...is the power...of feminism...woah...
Noah Jenkins
You're an idiot, plain and simple. Engaging in any kind of conversation with you is utterly pointless because this situation has nothing to do with the benefit of teaching women how to defend themselves and everything to do with your childish inability to admit that you're wrong.
Easton White
Guns are a good equalizer in general in societies that allow it. So I'm with you, getting a gun for defense if you feel you need it is fine, men or women.
Again - it really depends on the man/woman. I've done some bjj with some badass chicks and lost to a few, though yeah with training men win more times than not.
But if you're talking about an average dude with no weapon and absolutely no training in martial arts, it doesn't take much to subdue/run away.
And guns can be good unless they're taken from you, and women have that problem just as much as men, not always but sometimes.
So... There's multiple avenues for self defense, but martial arts is one.
And what if a woman attacks her?
Asher Ward
I’m not going to deny that men are generally stronger and bigger than women. But a man vs a woman is not really comparable to a beast chasing you down. I don’t understand how you know women are more vulnerable yet decide that they shouldn’t learn to fight. Like even if it only increases their chances of survival by 5%, it would still be worth it.
Jonathan Martinez
>Thinking that strength is the only factor in a fight >Throwing out Jow Forums buzzword insults to cover up your incompetence
Andrew Nguyen
Yeah, some guy is gonna swoop in there and get her attention and then she'll be gone.
Cameron Garcia
>muscle density has nothing to do with strength Nice strawman
Oliver Green
Look up Lucia Rijker vs Somchai Jaidee. The dude was pretty much some random unknown, Lucia was the best in the business in Kick boxing.
Christian Collins
Again - martial arts isn't just about defending from being raped/attacked in hand to hand combat against a trained male.
That's actually the least important part of martial arts.
You're simply wrong factually but above that you're an idiot when it comes to recognizing there are more benefits to martial arts than women beating up men. Nobody is keeping a woman who is trained in martial arts from also carrying a gun/pepper spray/whatever else she can.
Nathaniel Hill
I think what OP is getting at is that teaching them self defense would encourage them to fight when it's far better for them to run. In principle, it's best that they have whatever means necessary to protect themselves, but practically speaking it might not be the wisest thing to do.
Jayden Martin
Learning to use weapons properly and effectively is a much better asset than any form of unarmed training. It's much less costly on time for a woman to learn how to wield a weapon, because let's face it, women are just not as interested in unarmed combat, resistance training, combat in general etc..
Juan Mitchell
Martial arts teaches you to avoid conflict whenever possible.
So unless OP is teaching her (because OP seems to think martial arts is about wanting and trying to fight people) - she could still benefit from learning martial arts, just like anyone else.
I love martial arts and I haven't been in a fight since high school.. so years. The benefits of martial arts are well above how exceptional I am at actually fighting people. The only time that matters is if you're training for competitive fighting.
It's a tool - like any other. Your legs are tools, your speech to de-escalate situations is a tool, control over your body is a tool, discipline is a tool, hard work ethic is a tool.
Anyone arguing against martial arts for women on the basis that "they can't beat up 'x'" doesn't understand martial arts at all.
Evan Peterson
Sorry meant to say it's been 10 years since high school.
Joshua Flores
>I think what OP is getting at is that teaching them self defense would encourage them to fight when it's far better for them to run. That isn't what OP is getting at at all. He's stated several times that there's no point in teaching them to defend themselves because it wouldn't help at all when that statement is blatantly, objectively incorrect. Its safe to assume that any reasonable person, when faced with a larger opponent, would absolutely prefer retreat over a fight. The entire principal of self-defense surrounds the concept that they are techniques you employ when you have no other choice. If you have an opportunity to reasonably bow out of a fight with no detriment to you but you choose to fight anyways its not self-defense anymore. I don't understand the logic that teaching a woman how to effectively escape from an attacker is going to encourage her to face him head on. That doesn't make any sense. OP is also an idiot in not realizing that self-defense, particularly women's self defense is not about winning a fight, its about stunning your opponent, neutralizing the threat to yourself and disabling them to the the point that you can escape. There is absolutely benefit for a woman to have this knowledge. OP is 100% incorrect.
Parker Thompson
"I’m a straightforward dude"
You pretty much answered yourself with the same question.
Your personality dictates a form of leadership in a bossy way. You could've argued with her more before "flipping her off". You just cut to the chase and made it sound like you're sort of an asshole.
If you would've taken the time to tell her that a 100KG dude would literally piss on her defensive skills no matter how good she is at them, she would've eventually understood.
But this way... you just told her "you're useless, go away, I ain't wasting time on you". Go back to her and have a conversation with her on this.
Do her a favor and teach her a few moves, you won't die if you waste a few hours on her.
Charles Thomas
>Learning to use weapons properly and effectively is a much better asset than any form of unarmed training. No, not really. Self-defense scenarios are particularly dodgy because they're typically close quarters. The last thing any small woman needs is a larger, more powerful opponent getting a hold of her weapon that she's trying to fish out of her purse while he's 4 feet away. The first thing they teach you in armed defense is knowing when not to draw your weapon. If you can't draw effectively or at the right time in the right context then its infinitely safer to not use it. Unarmed defense is far more effective and practical in an everyday context.
Op is almost as autistic as the incels on /r9k. Self defense is supposed to help escape. Op apparently wants his gf to get raped because anyone with a brain knows that some defense skills are better than having none.
Carson Bell
No
I want her to just ventilate any fucker who tries to go after her instead of LARPing as a kung fu master
Benjamin Johnson
A gun isn’t going to be effective in situations where the person is already too close. If she gets snatched she can at least have some sort of skill to maybe get him off of her or stun him so she can get away. Your logic makes absolutely no sense.
Jose Ross
Your argument is illogical. There is no way to frame your argument in a way that is even remotely logical. At this point you're just digging your heels in deeper because you aren't capable of admitting you're wrong.
Aaron Clark
As I said, it's not the idea of self defense I'm against, and OP doesn't seem to be of that mindset either. It's just priorities. I find it mildly odd that he outright won't teach her some basic things to do (i.e. "here's the best way to crush a guy's balls"), but the main point is understandable. A bit more so given that she wanted to fight him, which is exactly the kind of unwarranted confidence that could get her seriously hurt or raped in real life.
I think he should accept her offer of a fight, then after he wins (to dispel her idea of being able to put up a fight), he should just teach her the basics while stressing that running away from or shooting the bastard should be her first instinct.
Luke Torres
He's right, you're the dumb one here honestly.
If his gf is the type who is YEETing the instant she feels the slightest power inside, why would you teach someone this unstable anything that offers her power?
She'd commit suicide faster this way.
Jace Nguyen
You sound like an absolute retard. In what way is having no defense more effective than having some defensive. In situations where someone grabs you from behind or corners you how will only running help in any way. This person would only need a few seconds of her digging for her gun to snatch it from her or stop her. At this point you’re desperately in need to feel right that you’re rejecting the simplest logic that everyone in this thread has been trying to explain to you. But continue to be a cuck I’m sure if she’s smart she’ll apply for a defense class without caring about your sperg opinions or help.
Jayden Fisher
it's better knowing than not knowing, especially against someone who doesn't have any training. it can mean life or death, as long as you teach her to avoid the situation and run for her life before trying to defend herself and losing.
And yet you used a photo of the world's most iconic warrior woman in your post. Do this girl a favor and break up with her so she can find someone who's not a controlling dick who won't get in the way of her self-improvement.
If your girlfriend is reckless and takes on fights then I can understand not teaching her. But if she’s not and wants to learn in case of an emergency then that could be helpful. It can be as simple as showing her points on the body that are weak to help her get out of the situation. My nephew, who’s about 14, had some guy try to pick her up and run with her. Luckily she’s ruthless and went straight for the eyes and then ran home.
Andrew Walker
Not really. A can of pepper spray or a small caliber rifle will do a much better job at defending yourself than martial arts. If she wanted to take a self-defense class that would be a different story though, as those can teach you how to avoid physical confrontations entirely.
Regardless of your reasoning you're not obligated to teach anyone anything you don't want to.
Oliver Lee
>If his gf is the type who is YEETing the instant she feels the slightest power inside, why would you teach someone this unstable anything that offers her power? That's pretty detached from reality. There is absolutely nothing "unstable" about being pissed when someone condescends to you and treats you like a silly, defenseless defenseless child. She told him she wanted to get into boxing to better learn to defend herself and he basically said "Aww, that's cute. You're a woman so its a waste of time.". Either you're being willfully ignorant or you've never spoken to a woman in your entire life if you think her reaction was at all unprovoked. Even though she would get her ass kicked in a fight with OP its extremely demeaning and insulting to be told that there's no point in learning self-defense because you're too weak to ever use it. She responded the way she did not because she thinks she can win a fight with him but because she's pissed that he acted like such a dick. Its as simple as that.
James Turner
>a small caliber rifle Yes, there's nothing impractical or ineffective about walking the streets with a .22 around your back for self-defense.
I think you've replied to the wrong person.
Leo Taylor
>White knights getting triggered because gurl power memes don't actually follow trends within sexual dimorphism in humans You realize that we're still mammals, right?
Sorry, I meant a small caliber pistol. In retrospect using something like a bolt action .22 for self defense would be hilarious.
Hunter Harris
>no woman can defeat a violent man in straight hand-to-hand combat
Are you fucking retarded? Stop with your edge Jow Forums persona and use your fucking brain retard. My GF and I been through some jiu jitsu training, we're not even that good, but she can beat some niggas up that don't know how to fight. Even if she doesn't match them in strength she can at least get out of a bad situation.
Nathaniel Scott
this thread is bait OP has no gf you're just refusing to teach your hand to defend itself
Jiu Jitsu is pretty much negated by the mere fact that eye gouging and hitting the groin exists in most streetfights. God don't hate seeing someone in a headlock in holy wood movies not biting , gouging, or going for the groin.
Fighting dirty works, rules are for competition not real life.
Cameron Ross
Say that to my face motherfucker and not online and see what happens
>She can beat some niggas up In 90% of cases it's a better idea to run than to fight , especially when you are outnumbered. I've seen too many people try to emulate Hollywood movies and get their shit kicked in because they didn't think people would hair pull, go for the groin, or bite them.
That's not to mention knives, clubs, glass bottles, even fucking pens. Even people who are well versed enough to teach a martial art can't handle being gang beaten by people with weapons without a scratch or just straight up losing.
Chase Howard
Of course, when you can run, run. But sometime its unavoidable, and you gonna which you know some techniques. We don't learn JJ to start fights and look for trouble, imo its a good skill to have and confidence booster as well
Tyler King
actually, Id say youre wrong women need to know self denfese, hell, even children get taught that. And this is self defense, not an arm wresling match. Its not about strenght, its technique. Most self defense classes are full of women from what ive seen
And from her perspective, you probably made her feel weak. Of course shes physically weaker, but no one likes to feel helpless
Definitely bait no woman would date a complete brainlet like this and if not bait then she’s definitely going to bone her Chad Jiu Jitsu teacher because hes Improving her unlike the autist who thinks no technique is better than some technique
James Nguyen
Op, you’re a fucking idiot. Just sign the cuck form and go jack off your students.
Nolan Parker
>no woman can defeat a violent man in straight hand-to-hand combat so it would be a waste of time.
It's self defense, not a boxing match. Don't they just teach them stuff like scratch the guy's eyes and try kick his balls? That might work enough to let them get away. They don't have to "win" the fight.
Josiah Morales
A girl with self-defence is better than a girl without self defence.
The best self-defence is running away. Second to that, knowing how to block a punch or get someone off you could be life saving.
I don't really know why you think a gun is useful, it's more likely that the gun would be taken off the person and used against them.
Also, I don't really know why you'd deny someone the other benefits of martial arts.
>I’m a straightforward dude, did I actually do anything wrong?
You're not straightforward at all lol
Matthew Green
1. if the martial art style is worth anything, it should teach you to defeat a stronger opponent (who doesn't have the training) Here, we are assuming rapists are some lowlife who could never be social enough to be good at martial arts himself. 2. The reason people learn it is to feel more secure and less scared when they go about. It also gives them discipline. It is generally a good thing to learn regardless of how effective you actually is when you are in combat. 3. She is a person you like, why is spending time with her a bad thing?
Christian Gomez
>Here, we are assuming rapists are some lowlife who could never be social enough to be good at martial arts himself.
Now I'm imagining some black belt rapist doing roundhouse kicks with his dick sticking out of his gi.
Evan Martin
>Wise old sensei: True mastery comes with asserting mind over matter. If you don't mind that she doesn't want it, then it doesn't matter.
Jackson Roberts
I was thinking along the those lines. In a fight, with no rules because if someone attacks another person on the street there are no rules, it would be hard for a guy to win if the woman just you know kicked them in the weak point everyone knows about. Sure you could argue a guy would defend that area with their life, but when they are thinking about things such as assault I doubt the first thing in their mind is, "I must protect my balls rn." Though this is just my opinion. Also why are we talking about if men were to fight women, when talking about self defense? It might sound like a dumb question, but it's not like most self-defense fights are two people in their fight stances, about to duke it out. From my knowledge it's usually someone, with a weapon of some sort, behind a, presumably, defensive person. So in my opinion it doesn't really matter who could win in a fight if the fight is already rigged in the attackers favor. Also the whole women can't beat men thing is a fallacy. Anyone could beat anyone if they strategize properly. Like I said I can't name anyone that isn't apart of the Jackass Crew who could stand up from a kick in the balls. And finally I believe everyone has the right to learn to protect themselves in any way they see fit.
Aiden Green
>a woman could never defeat a man in physical combat >therefore women should carry a gun instead >so violent men can overpower them, take the gun, and murder them instantly good plan
Blake Anderson
Could you take a professional female martial artist in a fight? You'd get crused into a fine paste by Miesha Tate
Jayden Hall
You're a dumbshit. Fighting is not about raw power. It's mostly about dexterity and agility too. Yes, punching and kicking power can be useful, but for self-defense purposes, it's mostly about knowing which nerves to hit and how to redirect your opponent's energy.
Zachary Sanchez
Nah.
Fist fighting is a terrible way to defend yourself, and requires a solid foundation in order to be effective. Often the mere presence of a firearm is enough of a deterrent to end such situations before they even begin.
I think that I personally would have fought her. It's tough love, but a valuable lesson that somebody doesn't soon forget. Just get some equipment and gloves for it. When you start, don't even toy with her, just straight to the ground as quick as you can.
Carson Robinson
As a man who was kicked in the balls a lot as a kid, I can tell you that it's very easy to prevent yourself from being kicked in the balls.
Also, the pain can be ignored. It isn't like TV where you graze a dudes left nut, and he starts crying on the ground. When adrenaline is at play, it hardly matters.
The problem with physical confrontations is that there are always questions associated with them, no matter how well trained you are. You can't assume that things are going to go your way. Especially if they aren't alone.
Daniel Torres
Self defense or not, you don't want any more niggas getting shot. Another man dead from a bullet wound is the worst possible outcome. Don't fucking tell her to be waving a gun around. Either she'll have to deal with the trauma of taking someone else's life, or she'll get the gun turned back around on her and wind up dead herself.
Jose Sanchez
Your 100% right. Unless shes a huge girl like bigger then most men it won't do her a lick of good. I've been in that situation and the guy wasn't even a big guy, like 150 lbs and even with me fighting like a wild cat I got left on the floor unconscious and bloody. She should get a gun and learn well how to use it. Go shooting and take classes on how to handle a weapon in a threatening situation. Carring is the only real equalizer.
Ethan Wood
Have you ever tried to fight a man in ernest? Like your life depends on it, not a play fight I mean a man that was actually trying to harm you? My guess is no and God forbid you ever have to, your feminist beliefs will have you dead in a ditch.
Cooper Nguyen
The problem I see most commonly is lack of brutality. This is also where the "woman loses control over gun" meme comes from, if she isn't willing to kill the attacker no amount of training will do her any good. Pepper fog would be my choice for a woman. More likely to use it than a gun,doesn't rely on strength and doesn't need a lot of training.
Brandon Rivera
Some women do use a gun just fine though. I just watched a video of am 18yo girl who lived out in the sticks, a guy was kicking in her front door and it was only her and her infant son at home. She shot him to death in her living room. Emptied the clip. I would do that, no hesitation. Even if it wasn't in my home. The important thing is that she understands you shoot to kill, because your life depends on it. If you just wing him and he gets the gun from you your dead. If she cant understand or except that then yah I guess pepper spray will have to do.
if you are a professional trainer and you tell someone that learning self-defense/martial arts is useless, maybe you should reconsider your job and do something else.
