Why do people tell me they care about me and wish for the best for me, give me hope that maybe I can be happy for a few years but then turn around and break every promise they made me of being there for me.
I’m right now just crying it all out.
So I’ll feel better later.
But why do people do this?
They tell me they care and they will be there for me, to tell them everything I want to let out and I did I told them everything.
Lost one friend on my birthday, lost the other a week later now I lost my last friend.
What the fuck did I do?
Can someone please tell me?
I never ask anything from them, I’m always listening to them, when they feel horrible I try my best to help them, and they thanked me everytime I talked to them, but why this?
I trusted them, all of them and now this.
Before someone tells me I misinterpreted their messages, here’s what some of them told me, “Why didn’t you tell me you had depression?”, “Why didn’t you talk to me?” and “Stop hating yourself you just made a few bad choices in life”.
This is fucking why I hate myself, you fucking liars I fucking trusted all of you and you all left me when I needed you the most you dirty fucking liars.
Don’t tell me you care for me.
Can someone please tell me how I can get over this I can’t eat, sleep or even fucking stay awake I don’t feel normal I feel dizzy and the pit in my stomach is hurting soo much.
Why does this keep happening?
Sounds like you're a baby and want everyone to be as involved as your mommy was when you were in diapers. You were supposed to be raised to be somewhat self-sufficient emotionally by now, but you're grasping at people's legs for nurturing and care. They expect you to be somewhat emotionally stable, but you're not, you still need a parent, so their normal response of getting weirded out by your clamors for a toddlers level of emotional support is like you're being stabbed in the back again and again.
Rough.
>Lost one friend on my birthday, lost the other a week later now I lost my last friend.
How, though?
Trash post.
All I did was ask them, I wanted to talk to them because my parents don’t give a fuck about me, my brother and sister don’t care, I’ve even told them to not care about me and they’ve told me that they will care no matter what, I keep quiet of all my problems except when they ask, but this time I needed them, just this once I decided to reach out for them and they denied me.
I’m always talking to them and about their problems and I don’t regret it.
Just don’t tell me that you care about me and then get mad at me because they find me drunk.
I like keeping to myself but this one time is different.
Friend stopped talking to me, then I tried talking to my other friend who told me to talk to her whenever I want, she did the same.
It’s been a month without talking to both of them.
Now this friend is doing the same thing now.
And I don’t know why that’s why I’m crying and angry.
>then get mad at me because they find me drunk.
So something specific happened? Do they ignore your attempts to contract them?
Yes, two of them ignored me.
But the other one just told me to shut up and to stop thinking about my other two friends and so I did.
But now that same friend is now ignoring me.
Fuck, I don't know. Did you say something when you got drunk? Did you talk about your issues 24/7 lately?
Sounds like they were never your close friends, they just said the whole "I'm there for you" crap as a polite phrase. People lose friends sometimes, especially when they're looking for emotional support, you managed to lose three of them somehow, fuck it. This is why I stopped trusting and relying on people.
Self-pity won't get you anywhere, consider finding a therapist for your issues, or read up on Stoicism, and learn to rely on yourself only.
I kept apologizing for being drunk when she found me drunk.
I never talk to them about my issues unless they ask me, but when it was birthday I reached out to them so I could talk about my friend who was ignoring me but I ended up losing both of them.
But why make me feel like I was finally loved and cared about?
That’s why I’m crying, everything meant nothing to them but I did feel loved and I thanked them for it.
But all of that flies out the door in one second.
I told them my greatest fear is being alone again and it happened again.
Maybe being alone isn’t that bad, it just hurts knowing I was nothing to them.
I know, man.
Thank you for at least talking to me user, I will check the whole being self reliant.
This won’t happen again.
Caring for someone is a feeling, not a contractual obligation. They probably meant it at the moment.
I think people are selfless mainly when they can afford it. Young adults these days are mostly exhausted and poor.
If that was the case why didn’t they ever contact me again?
I’m not sure you understood. The people who say they love you and everything, at least half mean it, if not all. Down the road, it becomes inconvenient for them to maintain the relationship and their feelings go away. It’s a shallow world like that.
I try not to blame the people who are gone too much, because that would be hypocritical. Relationships are 50/50, so the outcome will always be largely dictated by what we put in.
Most people in their early 20’s in our culture are exhausted and poor, just trying to get by, so it’s not like selfless deeds will flow through them as though they are saints.
Sorry everything is blurry and I’m dizzy from all the crying.
I understand what you mean, maybe that’s what happened here and I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
You do realize that all friendships are circumstantial and conditional, like all relationships.
You tend to ignore everything when people tell you they care for you and also tell you that they want to be part of your life.
It’s what my second friend told me and I took the bait.
>I guess it just wasn’t meant to be
That’s a very mature take, user. You’ll make it through this.
As long as your friends like hanging out with you because they feel good around you, that's all that matters. Once they stop feeling like that, that's when you're fucked.
Thank you user
He has his own needs, and aspects to his life besides his relationship with you. I’m not saying him ditching you was right or anything. I’m just saying there probably was a valid reason. People need to put themselves first if they want to meet all of their material life goals, including basic goals such as having food and a roof overhead.
Yeah maybe they got bored of me, I don’t talk much maybe they found someone else.
I don't talk much either user, I guess we share the same fate
But why not let me know?
None of them were like this, they were kind to me and I tried my best to comfort them when they felt lonely or defeated.
I even got my friend to go out with another friend of his by telling him what to do, he was soo happy when he was telling me how he and his friend were hanging out.
Maybe that’s why he left me.
Yeah you’re right they’re starting their lives and I can’t hold them back.
I wish them the best but this pain isn’t going away.
Don’t worry user, you can sit next to me open a cold one or just lay back and get high.
Specifically what happened? Did you just fall out of touch with these people, without incident?
Yup, I tried contacting my first friend because this was a on going thing, she would flat out ignore my messages and not respond even after it said she read them, she was the only person who knew my birthday but she didn’t tell me anything, next thing you know she blocks me, my second friend I tried contacting her sent her three messages because I wanted her to give me advice on how to save my other friend from leaving me, she never responded and she read the messages, hasn’t contacted me since, this friend who left me today, he’s been having a few problems in his life, he’s also let out some of his anger out on me but I would always ignore it because I didn’t want to anger him further but now he’s doing the same of ignoring my messages.
oh this whole thing sounds really weird to me. try talking to someone about it in real life. they’ll have more context and be more likely to make heads or tails of this situation.
dont ask a basic bitch who will blow you off with some short response. ask someone more contemplative, analytical, and helpful.
I think I should just forget this whole situation and move on.
Even if I get to talk to someone about this what good will that do?
I won’t get my friends back and even if I did would it be the same as it once was?
I know I’m in Jow Forums in the advice board but after talking with you guys this whole situation was fucked from the beginning and I’m starting to accept it.
It sounds like you might have some kind of social or emotional problem, but I can’t really infer that based on a Jow Forums thread. If you’re a pretty girl or a genuinely nice person, I guess that could mitigate some of the problem, but it is concerning to see a social breakdown like this occuring.
Not to make you feel bad or anything. It seems like you know that bygones are bygones with these specific people.
Truth is I’m a introverte/sociopath, I get too attached to people because when I was young no one wanted me, so anyone who was really nice to me I would hold them closer then anyone else, when I met my second friend she made me feel real emotions and I finally cried not of anger or pain but of joy I never felt anything like that before, so when I lost her I couldn’t believe it that she made me keep promises and tell me the things I feel was progress on making myself a better person, but none of that matters now because I now feel like my old self again.
I really don’t want to be who I once was I couldn’t feel anything, but she managed to and she let me go.
You could use some counseling and a more modern take on your problem. The whole sociopath/psychopath thing is a mythos without a lot of basis in concrete fact.
The DSM 5 does have ‘Antisocial Personality Disorder’, which is more about violating people’s rights and society’s rules.
Either way, your story is relatable to me. My childhood was dysfunctional, and I became very socially unskilled and detached from people as a result. I had the same experience where I finally made a close friend (in this case it was a girlfriend) and then insanity ensued. For a few years after that, I desperately sought new people to fill the void, and then had fallings out with them sort of like what you’re having now.
Counseling helped me a ton. It’s where I learned about how illogical my family wad and how illogically I was acting when I went all psycho about the ex and so on. In therapy, I learned that I’m not a bad person so much as someone who needs to learn to socialize and relate to other people properly.
By the way, I get what you’re saying when you say
>I met my second friend she made me feel real emotions and I finally cried not of anger or pain but of joy I never felt anything like that before
I relate to that. It’s like being in a desert and finding an oasis. It’s the happiest possible feeling.
Yeah
That sounds great right now, maybe when I get enough money I’ll go get counseling and getting to understand others.
If I was younger like 18 I would tell you everything I have done like accomplishments the things I did to people and animals.
Now I regret everything, I guess this is karma for making others feel like shit.
It’s the best feeling, that’s what made me care for others, I wanted to share it with others because I know how it feels to be alone and have no one to talk to.
>affording therapy for personality
same.
have a good night, user, and don’t give up.
I won’t
You do the same and goodnight
Because they know that youll buy the lie. Stop believing them, damnit.